Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right but Three Do


Inspired by the genius of Callie Miss O’Press (aka Fishfy Glittercheeks) in her post Alternative Facts, I have alternative-factswritten a few of my own to keep me from feeling insane. Remember I am an American who has spent over 20 years in Latin America and Asia working for the betterment of human beings. 


Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three do

Racism is for whining poor people with dicks smaller than yours, hopefully

Putin loves hairless cats

There’s no such thing as war

it is a fallacy created by the liberal media

same as the falsified documents that claim Obama is a real american

Drones don’t kill children, governments do

Brown people are encouraged to gather in public in great numbers

America still has a soul

and will easily stand up to tyranny and throw it’s slimy egg shell off its back

Hitler and Trump come from the same lineage

The smaller the penis the meaner the man

America was better now then it is in the past

Mayan Worry Dolls under your pillow at night can stomp Trump and all Tyranny

George Washington was a futanari

Revisionist history changed the name of the Boston Teabagging Party

Saudi Arabia trains Mexicans in Rape Arts

Islam never conquered Southern Europe

The Moors weren’t blonde, blue-eyed, and sporting beards

like Vikings or WWE champions

GMOs make your penis shrink

The controls for the heart of the sun are lodged neatly in Trump’s toupee

The average Amazon factory has 45,000 robots for every 5 human employees

but Trump can fix that because old white men are awesome on computers

and have been programming algorithms for eons

Dead Mexicans can be turned into Oil

Growing rice in Mexico and bringing it to the US tax free to be sold back to hungry Mexicans wasn’t enough for greedy American Capitalists

NAFTA fucked Mexicans way harder than Americans

The EZLN attacked the Municipal buildings in Chiapas to stop NAFTA from forcing indegenous coffee growers to pay tax to the US even though they were on cooperative land with direct deals to Northern European contries

Women have held the highest-ranking positions in the EZLN Armycomandante-ramona3

The EZLN army dresses in basically the same costume as Mayan Worry Dolls

Race relations in America have never been better

Abortion kills humans not guns

American has exponentially more gun deaths than any other country on Planet Earth

Nuclear weapons don’t kill

Nuclear weapons don’t turn your skin invisible during the blast and let you see your organs working even if you are far away and have your eyes shut

Nuclear weapons just shoot whipped cream

Nuclear targets get gunged playfull not viciously obliterated

Bin Laden was more of a Black Market Banker than a Terrorist

He actually funded many grassroots projects that built roads, seeded once barren farmland, and built schools for millions of marginalized people in many different 3rd world countries

The CIA stole Che Guevara’s asthma medication

He was shot without a trial

The CIA destabilized Iran in the 1950s when they had a peaceful, non-religious democracy that nationalized oil productions and took it away from British Petroleum’s control and Western military usage which was running rampant during World War II

The US-CIA fought clandestine wars up and down Latin America in the 80s

Guatemala had a fifty-year civil war

This war was started because the United Fruit Company didn’t like the democratically elected government nationalizing Banana production (remember Iran and the oil?)

In the 1950s…

…The CIA caused a coup in Guatemala

…The CIA caused a coup in Iran

…The CIA caused a coup in North Vietnam

…The CIA caused one coup per year in Laos

The US has supported Fascists, Drug Lords, and Terrorists in at least thirty-five countries

Latin American wars called for massive ethnic cleansing usually of indigenous peoples, who were already being massacred by malnutrition thanks to the Wall Street vice-grip on agriculture

Scientists, those liars only interested in their own profit, say Holocausts happen from lack of critical thought

When the population cannot decipher real news from fake news we know that critical thought is dormant