PROJECT HALCYON KERNEL
DISINFECTANT POOL #1Q CONSTRUCTION
CLASSIFIED CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS
DESIGNER: William Rock
TOXICITY LEVELS: Non-Deadly (UNVERIFIED)
VERIFICATION TO FOLLOW
COST: $1.2 Million
CODE NAME: Chicxulub’s breath
OBJECTIVE: Obliteration UFO landing site + perimeter
PURPOSE: Containment, Eradication
LOCATION: Top Secret (BL)
Officer Rick, Lefty, and Chloe all stare at this place. Nobody shows any fear, just a general ‘what the fuck is this’ lingers in the air. Doctor Rock is below, in a deeper level. Up here are only three military guys in uniform. One says, “Strip and get in!”
“Now?” says Officer Rick.
“Why?” says Officer Rick.
“Authorization to speak denied.” The soldier holds the policeman’s gaze a moment. Then the soldier adds, “For protection.”
“Yours. There is nothing harmful in the pool. When you are done, follow the sign for Disinfecting Pool #2. Leave your clothes in this room. Do not take them. We will be waiting there.” The three soldiers walk away.
“What the fuck?” says Lefty.
“What the fuck is right,” says Rick. “Well, I don’t think we have much of a choice, do we?”
Chloe takes her high heels off and dips a toe into the pool. “What the fuck happened to us back there? I feel like I’m dreaming.”
Lefty looks at her. “I’ve felt like I’ve been dreaming since the moment I saw you.”
“We are in some weird ass shit,” says Officer Rick.
“Yes, we are. That’s life, isn’t it? A series of weird ass shit all the time punching you in the gut.” Lefty squeezes Chloe’s waist then yanks his t-shirt off over his head. “Well, I’m going in. Join me, baby.” He slips off his jeans and boxers in one fluid motion and splashes into the bath.
Lefty sits down with a raging hard on sticking out of the water like a shark’s fin. “I guess it’s you, baby,” he says looking down at his erection. The water feels very smooth, even slick, on his skin. It smells strongly of bleach, but that smell masks something like rotten eggs. “Smells like bleach and eggs.”
Officer Rick scratches his head for a moment then says confidently, “That’s sulfur. It’s not harmful.”
Chloe peels off her blouse, revealing a massive rack held back from taking over the room by a simple-minded bra. She unclasps the bra hook and her breasts spring out: two sentinels of everything good in the world in this weird room with a smelly bath stinking of rotten eggs.
She takes her jeans off and splashes into the pool next to Lefty. Her smooth slit throbs. There is still some weird feeling inside of her, and the cum Lefty dumped on her face earlier was completely gone. Not even a slight remnant remained. Not so much as one crusty crystal.
Rick follows them in, leaving his police uniform hanging on a hook that is butterflied into the wall. Chloe looks at Rick. He, too, has a massive hard on. When he notices, Chloe sees his surprise. A confident smile comes over his face, “I haven’t been hard like since we had our second child. I was starting to think about going to the doctor.”
Lefty looks at the police officer’s hard rock. “No doctor needed, man.”
Rick puts out his hand to Lefty, “I’m Rick. Local police officer.”
“I’m Lefty. And this is Zamilda.”
“My name’s not Zamilda,” Chloe says as she steps into the pool and dips all but her head into it.
A buzzer sounds and the pool starts to drain very fast. The lights in the room go dim and the three get out and move through a well-lit hallway where there are three robes hanging. The put on the robes and then go into another room with a second pool. Men in suits emerge from behind them to grab the clothes they’d shed. The men in HAZMAT suits and gas masks hold flame-throwers and incinerate the discarded clothes. Lefty looks at Chloe out of the corner of his eye.
In the new room, there is no smell at all. It is like the three of them popped a vacuum seal to come in. They all climb into the new pool. Two hard cocks and a throbbing clit. They can no longer resist, and Lefty gives in. He puts his hand on his cock. It is hot and hard as ever in his hand. Rick glances at Lefty who gives him a look that makes Rick, thrilled with his new hard on, grab Chloe and push her over.
Rick caresses the smooth curves of Chloe’s princess-like ass. She’s the prettiest thing he’s seen in years and he feels lust coursing through him wildly. His belly is in knots, like he needs release. All the pent-up sexual frustration of not being able to get it up, of having kids and lacking time for lovemaking, and of having this gorgeous woman naked in front of him comes to a head and he pushes his hard-on into Chloe’s soft petals.
Rick’s body trembles as he can barely stand the excitement and sensation of hard cock in wet folds.
Lefty kisses Chloe deeply, just the sensation of her tongue against him almost makes him explode, but the sensation is gone as he finds her gorgeous head in his big, rough hands. An incredible feeling eclipses him as his cockhead is tickling the back of her throat for the second time in one day. He needs to know what her other holes are like. He is about to tell Rick to switch places with him and exchange this doll’s holes, but before he can, Rick pulls out of Chloe’s delicious flaps and shoots a load of jizz towards her ass. Before it lands on her, forming ropes of jizzy string, the cream stops in mid-air and becomes a kind of levitating jelly.
Doctor Rock watches all of this on the CCTV monitor from his secret room. His jaw almost hits the floor. He cannot believe his eyes, it is so absolutely incredible. His assistant, Maria Sower, also watches it in disbelief. She says, “It must be a gaseous compound, Doctor. It’s a deposition.”
Doctor Rock counters: “It’s liquid to solid. It’s like cum freezing into silicone. I don’t know what the fuck you call this.”
On the screen they watch Lefty still pumping his cock into Chloe’s mouth. Rick’s jizz has stopped in mid-air and jellied. Lefty notices the mid-air cum for the first time.
The room gets brighter, his heart starts racing, his eyes go wide, and he taps Chloe’s head. Lefty pulls his quivering cock out of her and the giant dick goes limp. She looks from his cock to his eyes and then turns around and sees the moving jelly. It metamorphoses in front of their eyes, taking shape: a lifelike dildo.
Chloe shrieks and her voice echoes out into a hallway. She jumps out of the pool and wraps her arms around herself. The dildo hovers above the pool. It doesn’t move.
Lefty and Rick get out of the pool, too, and lead her into the hallway where her scream still echoes about. Lefty keeps his eyes on the jelly, which is changing color and expanding. Then the door to the pool room closes. Lefty hears it hermetically seal off and they are locked out. This hallway leads to another elevator.
In the elevator, none of them says a word. Water drips off their bodies to the floor. The smell of rotten eggs stays with them. They just stare straight ahead. Lefty is trying to think of something, but he realizes he is trying to think. The memory of what he saw has his brain stuck in some kind of alien replay loop. Rick is visibly trembling. He clasps his hands but they still rattle. This is more than a God-fearing police officer can take in a day.
Lefty looks at Chloe, trying to understand. He has heard some strange stories about some weird women, but this is crazier. This is the craziest shit ever. Chloe’s upper lip trembles and she rubs her temple while biting her bottom lip with her two front teeth. “That’s not fucking normal! What the fuck?” She nearly yells, tears streaming down her eyes. “What the fuck was that?”
READ MORE of Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos
This is a smutpunk style excerpt from Attack of the North Korean Giantesses (part of the Triangulum Stain Universe).
I will email later offering a chance to beta read some ARCs. However, feel free to tell me know that you’d like to see what I have so far. I’d love to share and get your thoughts.
Rumor has it that North Korean women are some of the sexiest women in the world.
FUN FACT: According to the Asian Sex Gazette, the North Korean man is the best in the world at giving cunnilingus.
The Partial Meltdown
The same way god built an onion in layers, the North Koreans built this nuclear reactor in layers. The layers were built as a fail safe in the event of a meltdown, but nobody expected this magnitude of human error. To have a disaster, seven errors would have to take place simultaneously. Seven areas of the protective onion shield would have to be left open. In other words, seven rare events would have to simultaneously occur. Otherwise the place was tip top.
Kim Min Ho was supposed to make sure the outer shell was locked, but he was out back going for a smoke when he passed out from low sugar. He hadn’t been eating well and was experiencing bouts of colorful dots dancing in front of his eyes. This bout formed an electric eye that closed leaving him face down in the mud.
Park Jung Woo was supposed to close his section but he had written a suicide pact with his childhood friend and was planning to melt the earth. Intentionally.
Han Ji Min left his section open because Byeong Yeon, who had left his section like a gaped open asshole, was kneeling there giving him a blowjob. The complex was built in a way that leaving the section open let them both hide from the security camera so nobody would know of their homosexuality. This was the problem with years of Confucianism. Although homosexuality ran rampant, especially in the cold lonely military, it wasn’t at all accepted publicly. “I’d prefer a nuclear meltdown,” reasoned Byeong Yeon in typical staunch North Korean homophobia, “to being outed as a faggot.”
Yeong Seok Ho forgot to water the fuel rods. This was an unacceptable schoolboy error. Nuclear maintenance 101 was to feed the fuel rods their drink and keep them cool. Everybody knew that once a nuclear reactor got to hot it started to melt.
Seok Soo Jung didn’t realize the steel containment vessel had melted. It sounded an alarm, but he was listening to South Korea’s Girls Generation at Full Volume. In fact, he watched the video on his smartphone and jerked off to their shimmying childish sex appeal. That made him sleepy. The haze and the loud music made him oblivious to the alarm.
Jung Yeong Jin just didn’t monitor the radiation levels. Not everybody is so good at his job. Yeong Jin was one of those guys that should be relegated to a desk job nobody cared about without the stakes of all of humanity resting on his weak shoulders.
The reactor had very few women in the inner sanctum, another clear tactical error put in place robotically by the North Korean brass. Misogyny had real world consequences. It was similar to how American football teams relegated women media members only to the sidelines that women in North Korean nuclear power plants weren’t given positions of responsibility and security. The outside part of the reactor had many women working as secretaries. The inside was manned by men. The outside was manned by women. Quizzical. Korean culture favored men greatly. So when the radiation leaked out. The men were turned quickly into glowing green homosexual jelly and died instantaneously. It was only women wishing the first kilometer of the radiation and these women were smart enough and focused enough to act quick. Jong Eun used an emergency code to sound the sirens, red lights swirled up on high walls and a final seal was created around the plant to avoid a full meltdown. However, Jong Eun and her seven cohorts were zapped with heavy doses of radiation. Enough to kill them ten times over.
However, the women manning the desks didn’t die.
The secretaries walked out the doors to the train station. On the platform, they peacefully waited for the train.
“I’d prefer a nuclear meltdown,” reasoned Byeong Yeon with typical staunch North Korean homophobia, to being outed as a faggot.”
This is an Indonesia Police Officer. I’m trying to find a good photos of a hot North Korean military officer. Their outfits are awesome but hard to find on the internet.
Shayna is the Black FFF. Her specialty is knives. She wears black heavy armor with her tits out and a tattoo of the number 45 in between big DDs with small nipples and tape over her left nipple in an x. Her arms and legs are totally encased in heavy armor. A helmet hides much of her pretty face. Her left eye looks through a viewfinder which displays heat maps and other overlays on command. It also links Shayna to Cybernetic System that syncs to her body and gives her faster reflexes and increases her neural capacity so she “sees” more. A cigarette is at all times dangling from her luscious lips. Some say the cigarette contains poison darts. Others say the butt is a grenade.
She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).
Helmswoman USS Enterthighs
WiB Academy Training
Sharpshooter with Gatling Energy Pistol
Tactical Cyborg Viewfinder – Viewfinder is fused to her body sending electrical currents into her nerve stream and vice versa. She can ‘see’ more than a regular human being. This is a major asset in battle and when flying at warp speeds.
Gatling Energy Pistol – An Molecular Energy Gun
Armor Suit – Full Body Armor with Cybergenic Molecular Energy Arm Guns and Tactical Pockets
<tap on your shoulder, dear reader>
Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment as we think you may have been exposed to a toxic gamma ray from…
Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:
Erotic Science Fiction Smutpunk – Triagulum Stain Sci-Fi Series
Bullpen Bulletin No. 9 (no. 9, no. 9, do you hear the Beatles? You should!)
Where erotic smutpunk lands on your tongue
Let’s start with Zak Hardacre
He has fallen on some hard times on FB. These hard times have really opened him up good for a rough eReaming. He’s now all gaped and sore. Luckily, the poor fecker has “hired” a sexy PA by the name of Darcy Dickens to help him post his stuff and keep getting the word out. I say “hired” but really he lured her with his big grammar and long sentence stamina. She’s been kind enough to post some of my work as well, since I’m a big fan of Zak and his sexbomb PA. They seem to like me a bit, too, so I’m including this dude in the bullpen bulletin. His exposure sucks.
Anyways, FB incarceration and trolls are pretty common. Shit, Dr. S. Punk got shut down but Trump (Troll #1) is still up and running. I won’t get into the hypocrisy of social media in depth, but basic point is it sucks the dicks of anyone famous and shits in the eyes of regular people. Yet, we window lickers keep using wiping the shit away and post one more time cause this time it will be different. It won’t. It will always suck. I digress.
Zak and I have had some pretty good chats so I wanted to share one with you. I asked Mr. Hardacre, social media user extraordinaire, a few questions and these are the super private answers [I’m in purple, Zak’s in orange (yes, themed for his incarceration, good catch!)].
So, Guinness or Kilkenny?
Somersby or Magners?
Whisky or Rum?
And finally, White, Black, or Asian.
And there you have it. Everything you need to know about this dude. Now be sure to read Male Escort Book 1 “Innocence”
Next is a word about Ashley Shades
I have some little known info about the Contemporary Romance and Erotica writer whom I call Miss Hades. Here are 5 Secrets that Miss Shades shared with me out of her own mouth:
- I rarely ever watch porn, but if I do I hate straight porn
- I hate my own writing. I’m not really that good, even though I love writing anyway.
- When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer who fought for the rights and equal treatment of the underpriviledged.
- I was a cheerleader for many years and dream of becoming a choreographer one day
- I haven’t even tried half of the things I write about in my stories.
- I wear pants a lot, or long skirts (even in 100-degree summer heat) because I hate my legs.
- I have a two books that need to be edited, and four more that I am writing.
The Sex Manual
Just in case you haven’t seen it yet, the Sex Manual is out and selling pretty steadily. I don’t think my rude and crude mouth will ever have a bestseller but I do currently have a handful of books all selling so I’m thankful for my guerilla warrior sense of success. Thank you for all the dirty fuckers who bought it. And super-rockstar-thank-yous to all the naughty folks who reviewed it! I’m utterly grateful. If you are interested in a little excerpt of the humorous yet useful fun that readers find in this book of sex tips please click How To Suck Dick for a spurt of online pre-cum taste.
When not begging people to read and review the Sex Manual, I have been trying to get people who liked my old locked page to like my new active page. I’m holding a MJ69 (the currentl me on FB) takes over the Old MJ Event. Come see what mayhem we are up to. Thanks.
The Viking’s Conquest
Felicity Brandon is tearing up the charts with her top 5 Bestseller hit The Viking’s Conquest. Give it a read and review! At the time of writing this it’s the #1 Viking Book in the US and Canada. Pretty astounding! She just had to make the bullpen bulletin.
Please like the Shelby Kent-Stewart Author Page:
If all your fantasies came true, would it be a blessing or a curse?
Hey, Queen Kegel, Excelsior! Let’s start putting EROTIC PULP of Heroes and Villians! into all our eBooks (natch!) and each bullpen bulletin.
Literary Porn Club, baby! SMUTPUNK for years, big ears! SAN ESPERMA cockslapping fools left and right for Candy Cane–SMOOCH right in your face!–Kegel (Highlight For Your Surprise) and the SUPERhung superHUNK SPaCe GlaDIatorS led by CockSlappicus
Err, I’ve been working on a Deji’i Order with main sidekick Obi-2-Kenobi and his young Wadapan Kenhe Starcrawler that I hope sees the light of day and doesn’t die in “My Drive” on Google Docs. I also have some Dino Porn and Episode Five of Chronicles almost done but it’s the season where my day job makes me a bit nuts for 6-8 weeks so it all may come to a giant jack rabbit of jackshit. Please encourage me to finish before my job finishes me. Pep talks and donations are always welcome. Reviews don’t hurt, eh, either. The best way to keep the smutpunk motor running is by writing reviews. That’s right, reviews. Thanks, subjects of CockSlappicus. ‘Nuff said, your Lord San Esperma.