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Bullpen Bulletin #1
Squirt-a-mouse Girl is awesome. She’s quite helpful and teaching me to un-dungeon some of my books that have been chained to the bench for a while. You may know her as July Cumming during the day, but at night she squirts from Canada to Kazakhstan. When you use your mouse her liquid permeates your skin. Go ahead, click. See!? Here, have a wet tissue to clean off with. There.
Queen Kegel has released three installments of MILKED BY THE YETI. One more is on its way soon. Stay tuned. They are at literaryporn.net.
— Moctezuma Johnson (@MJKingOfErotica) December 18, 2015
Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you buy the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse . Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Buy today, will deliver by Christmas!
Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular.
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Holy Sperm that’s Great Copy, isn’t it?
Aside from Kegel/Sarcashmo:
You were Jackie Lee! Little Jackie Lee, the barnacle-boy from underground Asian porn movies!”
“No no,” he said nervously. “My name is not Jack Lee, it’s Jack Li. A common mistake.”*
“Ohhhhh,” Natasha said.
“Didn’t you just say the same name twice?” Vlad asked.
“Little Jackie Lee had a two-foot cock,” Natasha said. “I was always very, very curious about him.”
“I thought you were Brut Lee?”
“Like champagne? I not champagne.”
“No, Brunch Lee. A very tasty treat,” Vlad said.
“Yes, all two feet of him,” said Natasha. Mmmnn mmnnn. Like a subway two footer.”
“No, no. It’s Brooos Leee,” Vlad said. “That’s what I heard.”
*The name must be different in the intonation