The Nitty Gritty: How to Suck Dick Well
Women all profess their amazing skills at sucking dick. Ask one why they think they are good and you hear answers like “I’ve never heard any complaints” or something to that effect. That is hardly roaring support, ladies. Kid yourself no more!
Find out YOUR dicksucking proficiency score here:
Men know the truth: less than 2% of women can really suck a dick like a pro. Chances are the girl with whom you’re speaking is a shit cocksucker and doesn’t even know it.
Here are some tips for women to learn to suck dick well, from a guys perspective. Print them out and post them on the refrigerator.
- Kneel, whore – position is key for ease and depth of cock-sucking, and for the visual pleasure of the dude. Also, you need to know that you’re here to swallow dick. So, understand this one unalienable fact: you’re a fucking whore. It’s not debatable. You’re here to suck dick. And dick you will suck. If you aren’t in the mood, then don’t bother.
- Wipe your ass with what Cosmo said – your sole aim to please and serve cock, so cut out all this kissing the tip, flicking your tongue over it, and nibbling and caressing. Get down to swallowing his big, hard, veiny meat.
- Lick the under the balls – lift those balls up with your hands and find the space between his asshole and where his dangling balls are attached to his body, bullseye. Now push into it with your tongue. If you don’t mind ass, lick that too (that will earn you BONUS points) and soon he will be bragging about how good in bed you are to his buddies and all of them will be hitting on you. Note: if they are not hitting on you, he’s not bragging.
- Swallow his dick – imagine you are French kissing him, but not on the mouth, on the dick. Enjoy it and let him ride your tongue straight down your throat.
- Nose to pubes & balls to lips – don’t just kneel there, swallow that dick. Get your nose to his pubes and your chin to his balls!
- Relax your throat – This is your mantra: swallow that dick. Repeat it to yourself. When the tip reaches the back of your throat, swallow. Don’t tense up or you’ll start gagging. Relax. Swallow. It will go down smoothly. Then let it up and breathe. Repeat.
- Alternate Position – Lay on the bed (or couch) and let your head hang off – this position allows him to face fuck you. You just concentrate on swallowing his dick while he goes to work.
Depth is everything – If you swallow his whole cock, he will be obsessed with your mouth (and even the rest of you).
Those are the basics, which most women don’t possess. Just by reading this you’re ahead of the curve. Pat yourself on the back. Now, kneel in front of him and get to work. No more bullshit messing around with the head, scratching it with your teeth, sucking it like you’re vacuuming, and other nonsense that really doesn’t feel very good. Swallow that dick!
Feel free to post comments and ideas below. Thanks.
This has been the “How To Suck Dick” excerpt from The Sex Manual. If you’ve been following me for years, you know this series of blog posts was so popular that a lot of people implored me to make it into a book. Being the weak-minded sheep follower that I am, I acquiesced. Please buy your copy and show some support.