How many words do you try to write a day?
Ugh, that’s the first question you ask me? Fucker. I’m slacking. I’d be good with 1000 a day, but I’m lucky if I get anything out. As soon as I find my mojo, I’ll get shit done.
What device do you work on?
Ahh, a crappy, laggy 5-year-old PC.
Can I cum in the crack of your ass while you write?
At the moment, no. I slipped on ice after karaoke and landed smack down on my plump ass. Yeah, it should’ve cushioned the blow, but the pain is real. Bending over isn’t as pleasant as it should be since it wasn’t in the right spot. My knees are good though!
I guess head will have to do. Have you ever gotten head while writing?
In what fantasy world do you live in? Is that an option? Can I start a casting call for that? Maybe I’d get some writing done if that happened.
Really? No? I’m actually surprised. I make my wife blow me while I write sometimes just for fun. Not to cum, just to be able to say I did it, you know what I mean? Sometimes you have to do things just for the story of it.
Have you ever had an orgy? with who? why?
By orgy do you mean more than one? A party of three can be very nice. A girl and a boy. More would be heavenly. I need to wish hard for that.
What’s your favorite book ever?
My own, duh!
If you went to a shrink, what would she diagnose you with?
A case of Skittlespox, Crazytwistedosis and dreameravitis.
No acute kareoakitis (or noraebangitis if you prefer the Korean word)? What about pervisteria?
what’s the biggest dick you’ve ever had the pain/pleasure of taking?
Well, they all ended up being the biggest dick. Oh, you meant size. 10-inch, but who’s measuring? Honestly, it’s not the size, it’s how you use it.
He was a virgin and didn’t know what to do with it. Took me months of personal lessons to get him to a six. He thought he was ready to move on and try it out on others. Sadly, if he hadn’t quit his training, he could’ve been a ten with a ten.
He did come back years later for another few lessons, it was like he’d converted to a born-again virgin. The Anal was great though!
They always want that old thing back, huh?
Michael Martine (aka Bryce Calderwood) answers a few off the cuff questions from MJ on FB messenger before April 2 Takeover Event.
MJ is this one
Bryce is this big purple one (not double entendre, I swear)
wine or whiskey?
I don’t drink
shaved or hairy as a tropical rainforest?
ever gone a year without paying taxes?
Yes, it’s called “not making any money.”
I know that not making money loophole. We’re tricky fuckers!
So, have you ever broken someone’s heart why?
I may have broken a couple hearts, but as to why I will keep to myself.
did you ever lose a tooth during a blowjob? or was there any other sex related injury?
Who broke your heart and why?
japanese or korean?
Nobody ever tried to punch me while I was getting my dick sucked, however the first time I ever had sex I got terrible rug burn on my knees and also discovered the fun way I was allergic to something in that condom.
I had a wild child girlfriend many years ago who broke my heart. Why? Nobody had better drugs than the dealer.
Japanese mostly but I’m coming around to Korean.
white or asian?
futa or giantess?
ass or mouth?
ass to mouth?
ass to pussy?
virgin or slut?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
LOL. That was easy. What do you wear when you write? (if I ask the women I have to ask the men too). Do you sit on a dildo chair while writing?
I wear clothes, the fuck is wrong with you.
That’s a different interview!
Ha! Dildo chair would be amusing, but alas, no.
…one that perhaps should be staged. Perhaps you interview me on my day? Eh eh eh? dildo swiss ball? dildo japanese blow up doll slash chair? paper or computer?
Pass. A fleshlight on a robot arm would be cool, though.
what’s your favorite word?
what language sounds sexiest to you?
Correctly spoken English because if I can’t understand it, it’s not sexy.
self-edit or paid editor?
self-covers or paid cover maker?
self-pleasure or paid pleasure giver?
Thank you for answering. I’m sure people downloading our books will want to know this shit.
Hiraeth, which means homesickness, but more specifically for a place you’ve never been to or that doesn’t exist.
Self-edited, and it shows.
Self-covers but I have years of design experience.
I don’t have the money to buy pleasure.
Your covers are incredibly crisp. You don’t have any degradation when changing sizes and stuff. Since I built the page I see that stuff closely.
not even a tub of ice cream?
Buy my books so I can afford a good soap girl.
that’s a great tagline.
Hey, I don’t need to buy pleasure for you to buy your books. I’m a fan.
Knowing that’s where my 33 cents is going is just a bonus
[[somebody inserted a GIF with a young Jack Nicholson acting cute and saying “Awwww Shucks!”]]
Okay, here are a few final questions from my readers…
Abdul from the Bronx wants to know “is body lotion a must after showering?”
Moisturizing is what separates us from the animals. Never forget that.
Brie from Albuquerque asks, “Have you ever gotten a review so good you got hard while reading it?”
I do get big raging “heart-ons” from good reviews.
and finally my wife wants to know, “why I can’t be more like you, huh?”
It’s the beard.
You should see my pubes. Nearly IDENTICAL.
Five minutes, my ass. Thanks for participating. You’re a good sport dealing with my dumb ass questions
Was fun, thanks
Get back to writing! Soap gurls don’t buy themselves.
That causes a rift in the space-sex continuum.
Every day in April this website will promote one author in support of the SMUTPUNK MEGA FREEBIE GIVEAWAY EVENT. Today’s author is the amazing Lady Ristretto, who recently did a guest post about Action Figure Erotica. Well, now you get to read some of it for free in the giveaway event. I’d like to share a little bit about the author, so you can get to know her a bit. Of course you can follow her on social media and the like, but here we will give an uncut, uncensored intimate look into some of her inner workings.
MJ: What do you wear when you write Action Figure Erotica?
MJ: Do you have action figures on the desk when you write (assuming you write on a desk)?
LR: tank top and pj pants. I write in the early morning or late at night. My pj pants have cats on unicorns battling dogs riding narwhals.
Alas, all of my action figures were lost in my divorce, but I do have a Kylo Ren bobble head who watches me write.
MJ: What’s your favorite color for men’s underwear?
LR: Favorite color of men’s underwear. I think my honest answer has to be “whatever”. I’m usually staring too much as the guy’s ass or package to notice his fashion. But when I’m at Target and see men’s underwear, I always like really crazy, tacky shit. Anything that looks mature and serious seems inappropriate.
MJ: Bacon or Sausage?
Bacon (I had a bacon action figure and, alas, it was consumed in the divorce). I heard somewhere that bacon is nature’s meat candy. Agreed.
MJ: Abs or ass? Redhead, Brunette, Blonde, or Bald? Bald, landing strip, or hairy bush?
Abs or ass? I had an abs discussion with my husband while we were watching soccer. Once Ronaldo showed off his perfect abs during a goal celebration. Like so perfect they looked like he used makeup to accentuate their Botoxed ridges. I found them not only hilarious, but evil. Great abs are a sign of a mind obsessed with self image to the point that it will over exercise a particular muscle group just to look stunning. I have no scientific evidence to support this and I’m completely irrational bordering on having a manic episode, but there it is. As for asses, not by default, but because it makes me think about having a woman on her hands and knees and eating her out from behind. Saw it once in a porno about a football player and a cheerleader. He had great abs. Life makes no sense.
Bald. Not because I like them prepubescent. It’s that hair reminds me of the early days of my period and I’d get blood knotted in my pubic hair. (You asked, but probably not for that much detail. Life is endlessly giving us what we don’t want and grossing us out.). Landing strips are just funny. I mean, it’s like a pussy has a Mohawk.
MJ: Pen Name or Real Name? Ever given a a golden shower?
Pen name, most definitely. I picked Ristretto because I have crazy amounts of barista experience and became a coffee snob. My most profound coffee experience was in a train station in Prague. I had a doppio ristretto and it was so strong, so powerful, I became a woman that day.
I added the title of “Lady” because of the “naughty aristocracy” schtick. Thought it made me sound sexier, more mysterious, hahaha
Bane was right.
Well, it’s complicated. I gave one during a sexting email conversation with a guy in Paris I had a semi-serious relationship with. Chatting was our entire relationship, and it was sometimes crazy, sometimes extreme. As in once we wrote a story about me being a cat and he getting off watching me use a litter box.
In real life, my first boyfriend peed in my mouth. Does that count?
MJ: have you ever broken anybody’s heart? why?
LR: Relentlessly. I’ll confess my worst, because this interview should be raw, right, and above all interesting. I had a boyfriend who was in remission from leukemia. It happened before we got together and it was a nasty, rare strain. He also had anger problems. He had severely hurt people for minor infractions. He threatened to kill me if I cheated on him. I believed him. I cheated on him twice. The second time I did it was while he was in the hospital after his leukemia reoccurred. I broke up with him not long after, when he transferred to a hospital out of state for more advanced treatment. The leukemia came back with incredible fierceness, having rewritten itself so it might combat his chemo. And they were pumping him with arsenic, too (it nearly poisoned me when I gave him blowjobs and swallowed). I found out recently that he died a few years ago. Shit, this got serious.
MJ: very serious. I asked if you broke anybody’s heart, not if you ever killed someone with a blowjob. Shit. Okay, back on track: baths or showers?
Showers, definitely. Baths are too sexually stimulating.
MJ: anal on first dates? why or why not?
First of all, I don’t date. I have sex with people and then decide if a relationship will work. Second, I’m sure I have had anal on the first date, I just don’t remember. It’s not a big deal to me. It’s just sex in a different position. Would I have sex with a dog on the first date? No. With a minor, no. Extreme physical torture, no.
MJ: I think anal on the first date may still be a taboo. I have to check with the kids. That’s why in the old days it was so hot. Nothing’s so extreme anymore. Back on track: rope play?
Never done it. No one I’ve known has been into it. And I dated an Eagle Scout (the one who peed in my mouth). If anyone could’ve tied knots it would’ve been him.
MJ: shower before or after sex?
After, and it’s usually with the other person. That’s the point, right?
MJ: You’re asking me the point? I don’t know the point of anything at all. All I can do is point out some of the absurdity and mock people I don’t like. After that I’m powerless. Thank you for sharing your darkest and most intimate secrets.
Read more from Lady Ristretto and the other 30+ participating authors:
Rapid Fire Interview with Lucian Carter (author of Hypnotic Billy)
I met Lucian Carter when Callie Press had the magnetic idea of creating a wiki to post all the smutpunk locations, characters, books, themes, authors, etc. It was great and other smutpunks came out of the woodwork. Unfortunately, like just about all good things, it came to an early demise thanks to hackers using it to spam the shit out of the internet by hijacking the thing. Anyway, Lucian became an author I’ve come to admire for his crowdsourcing skills and his writing. Recently, one of his books made it to the smutpunk book shop and while we were chatting on FB messenger I thought it was high time to do a quick interview. PLEASE NOTE: my questions are in blue and Lucian is in Bold Black.
Moctezuma: How about a little interview?
Lucian: you want to do it here and now?
sure, why not? No more than 10 minutes. Does that work?
What deodorant do you use? Why?
I shop for price. I don’t go really low end. Because you do not want your deodorant crapping out by 5 p.m. What I look for is a stick of a decent brand, but on sale. No brand loyalty whatsoever.
fuck brand loyalty
the brand has no loyalty to us
Rum or Whisky?
My mom drank rum
can’t stomach the stuff
mom or dad?
she needs me more
do you read the bible?
I read the Gideon, cover to cover
that was plenty
was it worth reading?
Parts of it are very good stories, but the style isn’t ideal
did you read your health insurance policy?
right, lucky. What’s some other boring piece of reading?
[Moctezuma scratches his head like a confused monkey for a moment and then looks up what the fuck a EULA and learns it’s what the kids call an End-User Licencse Aggreement, boring as all fuck]
LOL, what’s better the bible or the latest EULA you’ve read?
the bible by far
I was able to force myself to read that
You’ve never enjoyed an EULA?
Not even the ones that cost you your soul
doggy or cowgirl?
both in the same session
And finally…Blonde, Brunette, Straight Black, or Ginger?
no no, one more, Waze or Google Maps?
a gps program
I guess that answers my question
one more, FB or twitter?
FB for fans, Twitter for fellow authors
no no, can’t end with that bullshit, outline or seam of your pants?
Who says I’m wearing pants?
[laughs] why would you? I’m not.
for new readers, where should they start getting to know your writing. Where do you suggest they begin?
There are a few cheap options. You could try one of the early Adventures in #coverthypnotism series. Or Hypnotic Billy 1. But your best bet is to just dive into the Hypnotic Billy series and find your fetish, or start a new one.
Thanks that will do it. That was fun.
Interview with HL37 and Patrick Khayler
The Quick-fire SMUTPUNK interview with HL37 & Patrick Khayler (questions by Moctezuma Johnson) is my version of American Football’s “two-minute drill”. I asked and they answered in rapid-fire succession. I find this eliminates bullshit answers. Bullshit may be America’s new official language but SMUTPUNK still speaks the goddamn truth and nothing but that shit. Well, we think. Or we don’t. You be the judge.
First, Mr. HL37, newest smutpunk
Have you ever broken someone’s bones or killed a person?
I didn’t ride in the ambulance with them, so I can’t confirm or deny this.
Pink or purple?
Honestly?! I have come to see the merits of pink over the years…
When was the last time you were in a group sex situation?
Had to look at my diary for this one, it’s been around 14 years. That’s 2 in “itch” years. See what I did there?
Do you have a six pack? Have you ever in your life?
I do have a six pack, I’m pretty vain.
Did you read FSOG? Did you read the Bible? Did you read your health insurance policy? Did you ever read SMUTPUNK? Spell “Smutpunk”! No cheating by looking on google.
I own all three FSOG just in case the plane starts going down and I have to die laughing, but I have never actually wasted time reading them. Like most folks, have paged through the Bible. That said I have been a Buddhist for over 25 years. I have never read a health insurance policy because it doesn’t seem appropriate when I am rushing to the emergency room. Like last year when a rat bit my finger. True story…. I recently found out many things I enjoy are Smutpunk, like Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. SMURFPUNK, you satisfied?!
And finally…Blonde, Brunette, Straight Black, or Ginger?
Being an equal opportunity employer I try to avoid labels. That said, I do have a soft spot for Gingers where my heart used to be…
What’s your name?
HL37writes.com has all the goods. One stop smut shopping.
Second, “Everybody LOVES Patrick Khayler!“
What deodorant do you use? Why?
Whatever is on sale. Antiperspirant, I’m a sweating machine.
Do you wear cologne?
Nah. I already smell nice. The smell is from my bad attitude and lack of sleep not my body.
Have you ever broken a bone? Was it your penis?
No broken bones. A shitload of stitches. Cut my head when I was two. Ran through an arcadia door. Stepped on a rust cat food can. Opened my toe on bamboo. The only time I fractured my penis, the hospital said it had to heal on its own. They don’t make casts that big. We got a construction crew to build a scaffold.
Did you read FSOG?
No. Didn’t sound interesting.
Did you read the Bible?
When I was young. No elves or dwarves. A lack of wizards and fairly inconsistent. The only sex was Adam Cleaving into Eve. They could have expanded on that part. I thought JRR Tolkein had a more believable timeline.
Did you read your health insurance policy?
Of course. I had to make sure my wife didn’t have a reason to kill me.
Did you ever read SMUTPUNK?
On the kindle. I have been afraid it will pull me to the darkside.
Rum or Beer?
Beer. Every time I drank rum as a young idiot I got arrested (lawyers fucked me). I love all beer and brewed my own for years.
Spliff or Other?
Retired and subject to drug tests. Alcohol and pussy are my drugs of choice.
Doggy or cowgirl?
Start out slow fucking doggy until the explosions start then watch the splashing finish cowgirl. Nothing better.
Erotica or Sci-Fi
Anything that lights my fire at the time. Sci Fi fucking, between werewolves and hot elves, written in middle English prose based on historical facts with a moral message at the end before everyone dies and the hero with the odd moral code takes brutal revenge on those who wronged him then fucks the hot heroine.
When was the last time you were in a group sex situation?
I’ll defer this one for now. We can discuss it at that little cantina in Merida you own when you buy me a round and Lupita serves it by sitting on my lap sans panties.
And finally…White, Black, Latina, or Asian?
Latina (Salma Hayek) but married Caucasian. All ethnicities have beauty for those of us who appreciate the form.
If you want to know more about Patrick, check out his site http://patrickkhayler.com/
Due to the success of the illustrious Linzi Basset’s interview, I’ve decided to try my hand and chatting with a few more writers. Hopefully readers can learn how other writers go about their craft and get to know about the author answering the questions. Today’s interview is with R.B. O’Brien. I admittedly know very little her. So please get to know Miss O’Brien with me.
A Note About Formatting: my questions are in purple and everything else is R.B.
First, since I don’t know anything about you, let’s get some basics on the table. Tell us your name and who you are.
R.B. O’Brien. The initials are named after my Nana and my great aunt. I’ll leave it at that. It is a pen name for a reason, right? I write erotic romance. The Natalie’s Edge series is contemporary BDSM Romance. The last in the series is loosely based on a real-life experience and is nominated for the Golden Flogger Award for Best BDSM Romance of 2015.
I’m a huge Shakespeare fan and teach for a living. I’m a seeker of knowledge and never stop asking questions and even when I have the answer, I’m never satisfied. I know this may be a cop-out, MJ, and I apologize. But the best way to get to know me is to direct you to my blog. I wear my heart on my sleeve there. It is the essence of who I am. A writer. A dancer. A teacher. A thinker. A dreamer. A hopeless romantic. An artist.
What’s the name of your latest book and what genre it is considered.
My latest book is Thorne: Rose’s Dark Contract, coming out this month, god willing (or something like that). I’m struggling to classify it. BDSM; dark romance; dubious consent; erotic romance; suspense. Ha! Here is the blog I wrote about it. Take from it what you will:
This is a book I started quite a while ago. I was in a rather dark place when I began writing it. I never thought it would see the light of day. I almost just bled the words and didn’t give much thought to it. When I put an excerpt up on Mr. Blackthorne’s site as well as here on my website, I got a lot of interest. People asked me to finish it. Seems I’m not the only one who likes dark characters, damaged men, and an exploration of human motivation.
So I decided that as soon as I could, I would get back to it.
When I picked it back up a few weeks ago, I realized that dark place I was in was no longer at the forefront of my emotions. I had buried, or at least accepted, certain things in my life as truths and the depth of my confusion and sadness had worked itself out.
Well. That may not be fully true. The struggle continues, but it’s not debilitating. There is life again after hurt. Love abounds. All around me. In all different forms. And the love I thought I might have felt seems sort of surreal now, almost like an out-of-body experience. That’s what distance does. Writing doesn’t hurt either.
Don’t think this isn’t dark though. It is. If you’ve read Natalie’s Edge, you’ll know that a story without angst, upheaval, insecurities, and flaws is not something I’m capable of writing. And this is from the male’s POV and let me tell you: This dude is indeed flawed! But his story is interesting and I think there is a twist that you will not at all see coming.
I hope you’ll read it when it’s complete. And if you hate him or think he’s too controlling or that he has too many issues, keep reading. You just may be quite surprised at what happens.
Now, the burning question my readers have for you, what’s your stance on getting dick pics from your twitter followers? Yay, Nay, or May(be).
Hahahahahaha. Get one every day and when I don’t I wonder what is going on in the universe. Dicks aren’t all that attractive. That’s what I feel about that. J What one does what said dick, that is far more important. I think there’s a reason that the female nude body far outweighs the male in art!
Now, straight to the hardest and most profound question of them all, do you really write in lingerie on a chair with dildo strapped to it, or is that make believe? No, seriously, why do you write? How did this hard, lonely life become your passion?
In all seriousness, I write my life. I write to escape real life. I write to live moments over again. I write to rewrite the moments I’ve lived over in a way that makes more sense to me. I write the moments to heal. I write the moments I hope never happen. And I write the moments I hope will happen.
I’ve also learned that much of my writing comes from my subconscious. And I’ve discovered so much about myself in my writing. I don’t see it on the surface necessarily. But then I go back and realize how much of myself is in my work. The Natalie’s Edge series was taken from a lot of my reality and is autobiographical in places. But the story is fictionalized…until I go back and really read it. It is a self examination—no question.
I can’t just write a little each day like many writers. I have to sequester myself for long periods of time. I have to travel into the world, immerse myself as if I’m actually living it myself. I have to become lost in my imagination and in the minds of my characters. I often tell people that I live two lives. My waking world and the world of my writing. If I don’t find that place, that quiet spot in my mind to let the world exist, it simply doesn’t come together for me. Again, because I teach, I get long stretches where I can do that.
Where do you publish your writing and why?
I have a publisher, EXtasy Books. So my books from the Natalie’s Edge series are everywhere and coming to print. Thorne: Rose’s Dark Contract will be self-published and I will try Amazon and KU.
I really like to know what other writers like, similar to what songs musicians like to cover. It says something about both artists. What’s your favorite line of somebody else’s writing? Something tells me you’re going to quote the bard.
Nope. I love the Bard, but you’re right. Too obvious. And choosing just one? God, MJ. How cruel. If I must it is this: “To write is to descend, excavate, to go underground.”—Anais Nin
With which writer would you secretly trade places? (so, no Shakespeare is not an option, use your brain!)
If I tell you, it will no longer be a secret! All my favorite writers led tragic lives it seems. Depression. Suicide. Mental insanity. Or, they led “lives of quiet desperation.” Hemingway, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, Kate Chopin, Emily Bronte, on and on and on. So….my favorite works do not equate to trading places, you sneaky interviewer you!
To answer, I think I would wish to trade places with E.E. Cummings. A male. An artist. A writer. A genius. Someone who did want he wanted instead of what others expected of him. A glutton. A sexual deviant who loved and lusted many at one time. But only to see what it’s like to have that lack of conscience and to live in moment (“since feeling is first”) without the fear I carry. The fear of guilt. The fear of consequences. And the fear to really fly and live. But then, deep down, I don’t dislike myself or my life so much that I would REALLY want to trade places. In fact, I rather like the life I’ve had, the life I have, and the life I will continue. After all, it is me. It was who I was meant to be this time around. I like that I care. I like that I care for others and their feelings. And I like that I want love and loyalty and honesty. I think it’s important to live life in the moment but also with conviction and attention to those around us. I don’t really WANT to be a glutton or a sexual deviant. I think it would get old. Fast. But… for a day or a week or a month? I’d like that!
Thank you for stopping in to chat with me, R.B. Best of luck with your new book. Let us know when it’s out so we can have a look!
Find more about R.B. O’Brien
LINZI BASSET – Interview on The Bullshit Blog Tour Bus Stop Smutpunk Show | #SSRTG #LPRTG #EARTG | Real questions and answers, erotica’s version of 60 Minutes
Interview with Linzi Basset
Many people know Linzi. I verified this by checking how many people Amazon search her name each month and the number is staggering. After reading two of her books, I can see why readers are hooked on this writer who I’ve taken to calling the Vladimir Nabokov of erotica. Read the interview to see why! A quick note about the formatting, Linzi’s answers are in italics, my questions are in regular text. Enjoy!
First, let’s get some basics on the table. Tell us the name of your latest book and what genre it is considered.
This is the final book in the Club Alpha Cove BDSM club series but it’s written as a complete standalone. This one came about by demand from my readers and it’s the story about the children of the couple in, ‘His Defiant Sub’, book 8 in the series – seven years later.
Now, straight to the hardest and most profound question of them all, why do you write?
This is the question we always have to think about, isn’t it? For me, it boils down to what Vincent Van Gogh once expressed: “I would rather die of passion than of boredom.” That’s why I write. To express the deep well of passion that lives in my soul which is the part of me that I keep secreted away from my day to day existence. It’s a part of me that had been suppressed for a long time primarily due to a very conservative upbringing. It was part of my familial and cultural heritage and what was expected of me. Now, I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m able to liberate myself and share my passion with others. Blossoming out of what once was the genesis of my own confined existence! Passion is what drives my creativity. Passion is what allows me to ‘see’ and express my own sensuality through the medium of the written word; to be able to draw from that deep well to define the beauty of eroticism and all that it encompasses. I want to share what I feel with others.
Isn’t it a universal truth that it’s our singular experiences and passion, for whatever thing or things that it may be, that molds us all into the individuals that we become? Whether it’s hidden in the depths of our soul or exposed for all to see?
How would you describe your writing style?
Now that’s a question I’ve never considered and the honest answer is that I really don’t know. I guess you could say I shoot from the hip…lol!
If I had to define it, I’d have to say that it’s somewhat stream-of-consciousness, descriptive, emotional. It’s what makes me tick. Every book starts out with just an outline of sorts of who the main characters will be and how the ‘theme’ of the book might be woven into the fabric of their lives. Then I sit down in front of my laptop, I type Chapter One … and off I go. The plot and character development and slowly emerge. I come alive within every story. When I write, I become the character, I live each and every scene. A part of me is engrained in every story that I write…hahaha …no, MJ, I won’t tell you which part! Does it always work? I hope it does. I made some mistakes in the first few books of the Club Alpha Cove series, which is why I did some rewrites. I do a lot of research, factual research, logistical research etc., but ultimately, of course, the story and the characters have to “work” for me. If I don’t feel connected with either one, I’ll ditch it and begin anew because it won’t feel authentic. It’ll lack the depth and the passion I “live” into my writing.
Unfortunately, there are flaws and facets in and of ourselves that we don’t necessarily like. When I read my own writing, I cringe at some of the things that I don’t like about myself and my style. I’m not saying that you scream out your own name in absolute horror, but surely there are a few spots you wish you could strengthen. What are they? What would you say is the weakest part of your writing?
That’s a tough one, a difficult question to answer and one that I’ll come back to later …so off I go to the next question for now!
Okay, I’m back. Let me start by saying this, and it may come as a surprise to many people, but English is not my first language. When I started writing again a few years ago, I struggled with the enormous versatility of American English. All my stories are American-based, so I obviously needed to ensure that they would appeal to the American people. It was a massive struggle until I found an American editor that “Americanized” my writing!
The one thing that I battle with that needs constant work and attention is the passive voice…ahh!…and when I get a script back from my editor with notes indicating where I need to correct it. I do actually scream. And why…why does English have so many tenses? Good heavens! Why can’t everything just be in past, present and future? Why do we need past present, future present, past perfect…or is it perfect past…geez!!
What I’m saying is, don’t let anything stand in the way of your dream to be a writer. I’ve grown so much over the past year and have confidence in every story that I produce, but it’s hard work. Even though my thoughts, my words and my stories flow easily, I have to work on each and every sentence I write because no matter that I “think” in English, there is still a basic interpretation of my thoughts from my mother tongue to not just English, but American English in all of its formal and idiomatic shapes. It can be absolutely daunting at times, extremely so, but I refuse to let it faze me. I approach it with just as much passion as I do with the stories I write.
Many writers might simply get some kind of bot, load it with links to their books, and set it on BLAST. As I gain experience in this genre, I’m realizing there are better ways to get your voice heard.
You have quite a loyal following actively searching for your work to the tune of eight hundred plus people per month typing your name into Amazon. What kind of publicity do you (or those around you) do for your books? How did you start out? What advice can you offer newbies?
Oh dear…another question I’ll have to come back to…off to the next question!
I am sad to say that I haven’t done much as far as publicity is concerned. I have a very demanding full time job, therefore to find the time to properly market and promote my books is a challenge. I do make use of Twitter to promote my work and I’ve developed a more “social” profile on Facebook to connect with followers. Most of the promotional marketing aspects of my work is generated by its very own popularity and that’s the best kind there is. Word of mouth. You can’t buy that. I’m amazed at the number of readers that tell me that someone told them about me which got them interested in reading my books.
I’m starting to do book trailers and the odd teasers, but not enough. Most of my followers connect with me via my website. I do direct mail shots to them and the responses I receive are a clear indication of how much the personal connection I make means to them. I personally respond to every email I receive from fans. For 2016, I plan to start a blog page as soon as someone can tell me how to stretch time to slot it in with everything else!
This advice is not just for others, but for myself as well. You have to create a ‘presence’ in your work, of yourself as an author. Decide in advance what that presence and profile should be and make sure it’s the right one for you and for the type of books that you write. When you market and promote your work, mix it up, don’t get caught in a rut by doing the same thing over and over. It’s something we all tend to forget and I have to admit that I have, too, on occasion forgotten to take my own advice. Join other groups of authors who share the same interest and love of the genre that inspires you. Do guest blogs, interviews and be honest about mistakes you’ve made. Help others and mentor them by way of short articles that might address their concerns. Above all else, never harbor doubt in your ability to write and never give you power away to negativity.
I’m curious to know what other writers like in the same way maybe that musicians share among themselves what other songs they like to cover. It says something about both artists. What’s your favorite line of somebody else’s writing?
Considering the genre I write in, most of you will find this amusing, but this line has stuck with me throughout my life. It’s what has informed my life in a way. It’s what has driven many life changing decisions that I’ve made recently and something I believe that ultimately guides all of us…helping us to decide the path of our own destiny. My good friend RB O’Brien will love this.
It’s from William Shakespeare: “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven stages.”
With which writer would you secretly trade places?
John Grisham. I just love his writing. I’ve read a variety of genres, but I have to say that I greatly favor legal suspense and thrillers.
Lastly, I really love your writing style. I find that you have an incredible way with words. How did you become such an incredible writer? Any tips for us newbies and lackeys that can help us improve?
Thank you, MJ. That’s high praise coming from someone who has the prodigious talent to be able to paint a canvas with words the way you do.
I believe that telling stories in my own voice, driven by my own passion is what motivates me and that is the very essence that gets insinuated into each and every one of my stories. It’s a distillation of who and what inhabits my being. I truly experience and live each and every scene. I feel every touch, every kiss, every harsh word uttered and that to me is the key. I write from the inside out. My stories are me. I live them. I couldn’t imagine writing a story looking in from the outside to try to describe something that I cannot see or feel. When I feel myself laboring unnecessarily to write a scene that I can’t connect to, I know it’s going to come out wrong. My editor always tells me to leave some things to the reader’s imagination, because I become so involved with describing what I see and feel.
It may be that my advice to the writer in you, whoever you are, might sound overly simplistic, but it’s essentially the discovery over time of listening to your own singular voice and the application of it, through hard work and passion to speak through the medium of the written word. Be comfortable within yourself. Write every story as if it’s your own, your dirty little secrets that you’re telling…and yes…maybe some of them are mine…lol! Find your voice with the words that truly express what you think and what you feel and it will flow into your story, make each one stand out, make each chapter shine and make each scene come alive in every reader’s mind. Let your passion come through and connect and your words will have the power to transport the reader into the story as a voyeur, or better yet, as a participant. You really want them to read your erotica books with just one hand….wink*wink!
Thank you, Linzi, for taking the time to answer these questions and the many that led to this interview taking place. It’s a pleasure to be in the company of someone who commands the English language in such a powerful way. You really are like Nabokov in that regard. English wasn’t his native language and he has penned one of the most powerful voices in the literary canon. You, my dear, are most definitely erotica’s Nabokov. Best of luck with For Amy – Their Beloved Sub. As of posting this, For Amy was #5 on Amazon’s bestseller’s list for Suspense.
Want to appear on my blog? Contact me
I’m happy to have people guest post and would like to do short interviews.
Let me know if you’re interested.