How Quetzalcoatl came to me and asked to write about shooting proteins


Organic Matter and Cumshots!

the feathered serpentSo there’s this idea about Panspermia. You know, you probably got glassy-eyed in high-school when they explained this to you, but it’s actually pretty fucking cool. The idea is that the universe shoots these pods around from galaxy to galaxy spewing organic matter like a sparkler on the Fourth of July shoots sparks. Some of these little pieces landed in hospitable places. Like a cumshot landing in a fertile pussy, organic matter took root and started to grow. Voila! Life.

One night, when I was wandering the pyramids of Palenque in the Mexican state of Chiapas, kukulcanI was blessed with some hallucinogenics. the feathered serpentWhile I was melting into a tree and a snake, Quetzalcoatl came to me and told me I had a purpose. It was imperative, that was the exact word he used although he spoke via ESP, that I share panspermia with the world. This was years ago, and for the first few years I fucked every woman I could and shared my sperm with her. However, it occurred to me little by little that that was not was Quetzalcoatl had in mind. No. The great feathered serpent, God to many pre-Hispanic cultures, wanted me to share the History of the Universe with the masses, especially the gringos.

Thus, SMUTPUNK was born.