Bullpen Bulletin #9: Smutpunk Raining Down On Us


Bullpen Bulletin No. 9 (no. 9, no. 9, do you hear the Beatles? You should!)

Where erotic smutpunk lands on your tongue


Let’s start with Zak Hardacre

He has fallen on some hard times on FB. These hard times have really opened him up good for a rough eReaming. He’s now all gaped and sore. Luckily, the poor fecker has “hired” a sexy PA by the name of Darcy Dickens to help him post his stuff and keep getting the word out. I say “hired” but really he lured her with his big grammar and long sentence stamina. She’s been kind enough to post some of my work as well, since I’m a big fan of Zak and his sexbomb PA. They seem to like me a bit, too, so I’m including this dude in the bullpen bulletin. His exposure sucks.

Anyways, FB incarceration and trolls are pretty common. Shit, Dr. S. Punk got shut down but Trump (Troll #1) is still up and running. I won’t get into the hypocrisy of social media in depth, but basic point is it sucks the dicks of anyone famous and shits in the eyes of regular people. Yet, we window lickers keep using wiping the shit away and post one more time cause this time it will be different. It won’t. It will always suck. I digress.

Zak and I have had some pretty good chats so I wanted to share one with you. I asked Mr. Hardacre, social media user extraordinaire, a few questions and these are the super private answers [I’m in purple, Zak’s in orange (yes, themed for his incarceration, good catch!)].

So, Guinness or Kilkenny?


Somersby or Magners?


Whisky or Rum?


And finally, White, Black, or Asian.


And there you have it. Everything you need to know about this dude. Now be sure to read Male Escort Book 1 “Innocence”

Next is a word about Ashley Shades

I have some little known info about the Contemporary Romance and Erotica writer whom I call Miss Hades. Here are 5 Secrets that Miss Shades shared with me out of her own mouth:

  1. I rarely ever watch porn, but if I do I hate straight porn
  2. I hate my own writing. I’m not really that good, even though I love writing anyway.
  3. When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer who fought for the rights and equal treatment of the underpriviledged.
  4. I was a cheerleader for many years and dream of becoming a choreographer one day
  5. I haven’t even tried half of the things I write about in my stories.
  6. I wear pants a lot, or long skirts (even in 100-degree summer heat) because I hate my legs.
  7. I have a two books that need to be edited, and four more that I am writing.


 The Sex Manual

Just in case you haven’t seen it yet, the Sex Manual is out and selling pretty steadily. I don’t think my rude and crude mouth will ever have a bestseller but I do currently have a the-sex-manualhandful of books all selling so I’m thankful for my guerilla warrior sense of success. Thank you for all the dirty fuckers who bought it. And super-rockstar-thank-yous to all the naughty folks who reviewed it! I’m utterly grateful. If you are interested in a little excerpt of the humorous yet useful fun that readers find in this book of sex tips please click How To Suck Dick for a spurt of online pre-cum taste.

When not begging people to read and review the Sex Manual, I have been trying to get people who liked my old locked page to like my new active page. I’m holding a MJ69 (the currentl me on FB) takes over the Old MJ Event. Come see what mayhem we are up to. Thanks.

Posted by Moctezuma Johnson on Monday, November 7, 2016


The Viking’s Conquest

Felicity Brandon is tearing up the charts with her top 5 Bestseller hit [amazon text=The Viking’s Conquest&asin=B01MA6N44I]. Give it a read and review! At the time of writing this it’s the #1 Viking Book in the US and Canada. Pretty astounding! She just had to make the bullpen bulletin.


Shelby Kent-Stewart

Please like the Shelby Kent-Stewart Author Page:


If all your fantasies came true, would it be a blessing or a curse?


Posted by Shelby Kent-Stewart on Saturday, November 5, 2016


Hey, Queen Kegel, Excelsior! Let’s start putting EROTIC PULP of Heroes and Villians! into all our eBooks (natch!) and each bullpen bulletin.

Literary Porn Club, baby! SMUTPUNK for years, big ears! SAN ESPERMA cockslapping fools left and right for Candy Cane–SMOOCH right in your face!–Kegel (Highlight For Your Surprise) and the SUPERhung superHUNK SPaCe GlaDIatorS led by CockSlappicus

Err, I’ve been working on a Deji’i Order with main sidekick Obi-2-Kenobi and his young Wadapan Kenhe Starcrawler that I hope sees the light of day and doesn’t die in “My Drive” on Google Docs. I also have some Dino Porn and Episode Five of Chronicles almost done but it’s the season where my day job makes me a bit nuts for 6-8 weeks so it all may come to a giant jack rabbit of jackshit. Please encourage me to finish before my job finishes me. Pep talks and donations are always welcome. Reviews don’t hurt, eh, either. The best way to keep the smutpunk motor running is by writing reviews. That’s right, reviews. Thanks, subjects of CockSlappicus. ‘Nuff said, your Lord San Esperma.


CLICK the CHICK’s Pasties or the blue legs to visit the Triangulum Stain Universe. You will never be the same and you will be inoculated from Dildogeddon.

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