Lotion

A Sex Tip for Dummies by Moctezuma Johnson

When to use lotion?

I like using lotion to spray all over my wife’s chin and ass cheeks and tits. She has great tits. She’s one of those genetically blessed Korean women that even though they have a tight midriff and waist has got big tits. Her ass is a side effect of the big tits and is as juicy as a Korean pear. It looks great doused in cum or dipped in lotion.

Lotion is good on the tip of the penis to help with entry. This is especially useful with quickies. That cock head can have trouble getting in a pussy that hasn’t been lubed with foreplay. Nobody wants “red head” just because of a little sex.

Lotion is good on the 11th ride of the day, when the skin is all chaffing and the penis head is turning red. Plus all that exertion leaves the whole body dry. Drink some water. Put on some lotion.

Lotion is good when you’re a goon. I’m a goon. I’m a chronic masturbator. I was a sex addict but that has changed with age. I was fucking young coeds all over the place but I was getting myself into too much trouble, so I’ve become more of a porn addict. It’s sad and lovely. I can sit for hours and edge and then shoot a load big enough to knock down the wall and bust in on my neighbors doing math homework with their 7-year old. Yeah, the walls aren’t so thick in this part of the city and my cumshot is like five missiles. Watch your car windows!