Moctezuma Johnson’s Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin #0 (The Pilot) | The Bullshit Bulletin

Erotic_smutpunk-bulletin

Moctezuma Johnson wants to get the word out: The Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin

Ever heard of Marvel’s Bulletin Board? [[insert image here]]

We should be doing that too. We have T. Queef and some other saps to take the piss out of a bit. There are the one wank wonders, the cunts and dicks who’ve never learnt no grammer, and the tweetathoners. Then there’s Mr. B’s crew. They are nice so I won’t fuck with them even though I wish I could tell you from cunt to black & white cocksucker where the line of “tasteful” gets drawn, in what color, and by whom, but that’s not the issue here. No, no, they don’t say tasteful, they say “classy.” I say assy but the fact that the Mr. B group has a pulse, a libido, and N angle makes me want to have a thousand arms to finger the nymphs and jerk the duke. The nymphettes are nice. They are awesome to me one-on-one and have retweeted the shit out of me. Oh, and my wife, the jynxy mynx named Emme “Cocksucking” Hor is one of them, for fucks sake. How can Moctezuma Johnson not join?

If you can’t beat ’em, join em.

Me? No. Like Groucho Marx said, “I don’t want to be part of any group that would have me for a member.” Not that they would have me as a member. But I still consider them part of the bullpen, especially Jenny, Linzi, July, and Callie. There are a bunch of other fuckers and page eroti-suckers who I want to fold into the mix like blueberries into hot muff(in) batter. There’s Reed James and the Naught Book Snitch with her GIFtopia. One day at a time, like a good AA member.

Get Your Spider-Man Shirt

Get Your Spider-Man Shirt

A literary porn erotic smutpunk bulletin

A place to get important upcoming news in the literary erotica universe. We don’t have a bullpen where we all sit and one table and crank out mad creativity cause we all sit all by our lonesomes in our underwear with coffee, wine, joints, or all three, and do our bidding with our bots and one-handed typing. I guess twitter is our ‘pen but that’s pure chaos. Bulls are way more organized than we are on twitter. We are out of fucking control with all the tweets (thanks tweetathoners, I’m so sick of seeing repeat lines and repeat images), all the dick picks (it’s mostly dudes from the subcontinent – guys, I’m a dude. Do you want this Latino-Italian guy looking at your dick? You do? Then read my FUTA shit!), and all the book link BUY MY BOOK links, you can have a nervous breakdown in five minutes. Luckily I mostly ignore DMs so they can send cocks ’til the cows come home. My point is that authors could use a little bulletin that boils down the news so we can see what’s going on. We need an easy to manage quick news rather than scrolling through noise. In Seoul, busy streets have neon signs in every spot imaginable advertising stuff. The neon-barrage is so strong that I feel like I’m walking in the dark. I’ve unconsciously mentally turned off every buzzing colorful light. In real life these electric color-boards tell me to shop, eat, and drink at their establishments. In my mind I see a quiet black sky and hot Asian chicks in short skirts. These stores should start sending me dick pictures, they’d be better off. We could have a bulletin.

Why was Marvel’s Bulletin so Amazing?

Cause comics rule! I loved those Marvel chats with Stan the Man. Stan’s Soapbox. Sexy. I loved wrestling and metallica too, but I outgrew the latter two things. Comics still fucking rule!

I go to comic book stores regularly because flipping through a bunch of comic books jumpstarts my mind in a way that nothing else can. The creativity within these pages is off the charts. It was Callie Press who said some erotic smutpunk bulletin magic words to me the other night by DM that really knocked my socks deep up my anal cavity. She said, “Excelsior!” out of nowhere or some of the other weird ass words Stan “The Man” Lee would throw out there. It made me look up why the fuck he did that and I found out it was because he thought his competition (the fuckers that would copy everything) wouldn’t be able to copy it because they wouldn’t know how to spell it after he said it. Lol. That just cracks me up and I’m pretty sure some of my haters can’t spell abominable snowman nor the Philippines. I take pleasure in that. And in saying, Fuck you to the haters. I’ve watched most of them drop off like flies (see T. Queef) and disappear back into the narrow-minded fetters from whence they came. You know what I say, Can’t a Husband Suck His Wife’s Cock Anymore? Western culture has become too Politically Cum-rect(al). Asia is still a much rawer place.

Thankfully I can hide my head in the cum-stained sand and write about the destruction of the universe by the Sluts of the Oblong-Dong Table and the drying up of The Streams of Sementopia and the ismywifeaFUTAvolcanic Mt. Ejaculi going dormant. I can write about Yeti’s taking big-titted Russian whores as slaves and then getting sick of them and kicking them down the side of a mountain. I can read about a Halloween Spook being all too real and using virgin sperm and menstrual blood to erase and create universes. This is the fun of what I’ve termed Literary Porn Erotica. Kat Crimson calls it smart smut or cerebral smut, which is another kick ass term. I’m stoked to be a part of this fucked up wave of eWriters who can self-publish their stuff and tweet with their readers and have a jolly old time. Just the way these Marvel Bulletins were a cool way to feel a part of the comic crowd, we get excited about new work thanks to blogs, tweets, posts, and other sharers. I’m going to boil it down every bulletin board. That’s my pledge. Feel free to send me shit that you know has to be out there. I feel free to ignore shit that has no place.

Hey, Queen Kegel, Excelsior! Let’s start putting EROTIC PULP of Heroes and Villians! into all our eBooks (natch!)

Literary Porn Club, baby! SAN ESPERMA cockslapping fools left and right for Candy Cane Kegel and the SUPERhung superHUNK SPaCe GlaDIatorS

Bullpen Bulletin #o (The Pilot Cerebral Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin):

The Milked by the Yeti Series has begun. Book 1 by Moctezuma is out on the literaryporn.net site and Callie Press is writing Book 2 as I write this. She’s released the first installment, introducing Vivek and bring the milking fucking Yeti back for more scary, sexy fun.

‘Nuff said!

Erotic-Smutpunk-Bulletin_Moctezuma-Johnson

GUYS! Follow Moctezuma’s Site and Get Your Free Testicle Exam from Kitchen COWgirl!

Shayna from Fuck Force Five

Shayna from Fuck Force Five

 

Shayna is the Black FFF. Her specialty is knives. She wears black heavy armor with her tits out and a tattoo of the number 45 in between big DDs with small nipples and tape over her left nipple in an x. Her arms and legs are totally encased in heavy armor. A helmet hides much of her pretty face. Her left eye looks through a viewfinder which displays heat maps and other overlays on command. It also links Shayna to Cybernetic System that syncs to her body and gives her faster reflexes and increases her neural capacity so she “sees” more. A cigarette is at all times dangling from her luscious lips. Some say the cigarette contains poison darts. Others say the butt is a grenade.

She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).

SKILLS:

Helmswoman USS Enterthighs
WiB Academy Training
Sharpshooter with Gatling Energy Pistol

GEAR:

Tactical Cyborg Viewfinder – Viewfinder is fused to her body sending electrical currents into her nerve stream and vice versa. She can ‘see’ more than a regular human being. This is a major asset in battle and when flying at warp speeds.
Gatling Energy Pistol – An Molecular Energy Gun
Armor Suit – Full Body Armor with Cybergenic Molecular Energy Arm Guns and Tactical Pockets

 

 <tap on your shoulder, dear reader>

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment as we think you may have been exposed to a toxic gamma ray from…

###

Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:

Meet Tabitha (the blonde)

Meet Tabitha (the blonde)

 

Erotic Science Fiction: Tabitha from The Five Hive

Erotic-Science-Fiction-Tabitha of Fuck Force Five

Tabitha from The Five Hive (a character in the erotic science fiction series Triangulum Stain)

Tabitha is the blonde FFF. Her specialty is rope. She wears a sheer cat suit with pasties on her nipples. She wears latex pants and carries a rope lassoed on her hip brace. Her lips are full and seductive. Her secret identity may or may not be Destiny’s Pussycat herself Betwice Knowles. All of this is known by Dean Diddlewitz of the UFO Chronicler, but he has this thing where without orgasm he forgets everything he knows. Make sure that Dean gets his sexual medicine by reading.

Tabitha has been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment…

 

###

Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five from this erotic science fiction story:

Erotic-Science-Fiction-Meet-Five-Hive-Agents

Meet each Fuck Force Five agent

AVA from Fuck Force Five

Ava is the BBW. Her specialty is straddling. She wears latex chaps and latex panties that come up almost to her breasts, which are naked at all times. She has no nipples. She has a tattoo of the number 3 on her right breast. Her black hair is a thick mane. Her perfect skin is as smooth as milk.

 

She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment…

SecureDebriefingArea

###

Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:

Fuck-Force-Five.Literary.Porn.Erotica-Joanna-Latina-TriangulumStain

Meet the all the Women In Black agents of FFF

Joanna from the Five Hive [aka Fuck Force Five (FFF)]

Joanna from Fuck Force Five

Joanna is the Latina. Her specialty is substances. She wears a full tactical police suit with the word “POLICE” across the bust. The suit comes with a helmet and heavy shoulder protection that creeps down her arms where it hooks into her hands. She can release substances into the air with her fingers by pulling this lever.

She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment…

SecureDebriefingArea
Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:

Fuck-Force-Five.Literary.Porn.Erotica-Grace-MiHee-TriangulumStain

Meet all Five Members of the Fuck Force Women In Black Agents

Mi Hee (Grace) from The Five Hive (aka Fuck Force Five)

Grace-Triangulum-Stain-Moctezuma-Johnson-Replicating-Dildo-Erotic-Sci-Fi

Mi Hee is the Asian one. The one in red. Her specialty, squirting. She wears red boots, red gloves, and a red gas mask. Her nipples are covered in heavy red armored pasties. She jumps often. She looks like an eagle rushing its prey. She looks like a hot, naked Voltron robot.

She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment…

SecureDebriefingArea

Secure Debriefing Area

###

Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:

Meet Shayna with the heavy tits

Meet Shayna with the heavy armor

That Fucker

That Fucker Book Cover

That Fucker has to get a new cover before anyone wants to read it, right!? Voila! You asked and you shall receive. Girls Carrying Books has another book out and this one is not by Moctezuma Johnson. Instead, it’s Emme Hor in her literary porn delight.

That Fucker Book Cover

That Fucker Gets His Way with this Girl

Book Description:

Heather is in love with her man who she calls That Fucker cause he is so mean to her most of the time. She does everything for him and she finds messages from other women, invitations, thank yous for last nights. Why does she stay with him? She’s attractive. She has another guy they call Charlie the Wok in her office sniffing around her. Her boyfriend treats her so bad that she is considering giving this new man a shot. He is nothing like That Fucker. He is a decent man. She should go out with him and she knows it. Then her boyfriend surprises her at the office with a present. A brand new set of skull-candy headphones. Will this be everything that she wanted from him? the dawn of a new mutually beneficial relationship? or does That Fucker have one more thing up his sleeve that will drive her into the new man’s arms?

 

Who is Emme Hor

Whether or not she was paid $10,000 USD to be the main attraction in a bukkake can be neither confirmed nor denied. Is she Moctezuma’s pet? Or is she a woman somewhere out there running a country? You decide. The thing to know is she’s proud, she’s Asian, she’s an English speaker, and she’s hot — oh, and she tells nasty stories when not fucking people through the legal systems of various countries.

 

Closing shit

There is literary porn erotica and then there is hardcore literary porn erotica. This, for sale at Moctezuma’s Book Shop is Hardcore Literary Porn Erotica!

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A Literary Porn Comic featuring Harley Quinn, Cat Woman, and the mind of MJ

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Futanari Harley Quinn Poem

A Literary Porn Comic | poem by San Esperma de Desgracia

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LiteraryPornRTG sponsors Futanari Harley Quinn Romance (see original)

for all the futa fans of batman 

she has a two-toned gun
the slick-skinned slut criminal
she’ll use the fucking thing
she’s got the jester’s PVC cap
on
the bells ring
red and black
as her clit
swells
her nipples bulge
on her big
slippery tits
her dick rings
as her bell
guns
mushroom-like and juicy
it busts
its veins
its cum tube
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the cat woman’s mask
and matching black lipstick
as her blonde hair billows in Gotham’s wind

 

 

 

 

 

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