America doesn’t deserve a Birthday Party this Year…

happy-4th-smutpunk

…but we can still enjoy some sexy photos instead of celebrating a functioning democracy.

 

The red, white, and blue have, instead of democracy, a nasty imperial force that causes proxy wars all over the globe with an umprecedictable nut figurehead at the helm. Yep, no birthday party this year.

Cockslappicus – Part of the Pantheon of Smutpunk Superheroes and/or Gods

Cockslappicus – Part of the Pantheon of Smutpunk Superheroes and/or Gods

(aka Sarchasmo, aka Moctezuma Johnson, aka King Smutpunk, aka Kid S.Punk)

Cockslappicus is a character in the Pantheon of Smutpunk Superheroes started by Callie Press and Moctezuma Johnson. This character was created by Moctezuma Johnson and is often chasing down criminals (aka criminally bad practices in the indie publishing world). He’s kind of a purveyor of justice. He supports the invisible, the outcasts, the different, those with no voice. He metes out justice on his foes by slapping the shit out of them with his massive weaponized cock. There are stories of him attacking copycatters (Sarchasmo v. Apographia) and serial users (the eEquivalent of a director telling a hot young piece of ass he wants to shag “i’m gonna make you a star, baby! right after you suck me off).

Books featuring Cockslappicus:

Sarchasmo v. Mr. Whiteprick

Sarchasmo v. Apographia

Futanari Harley Quinn | a poem | #FB #erotica

futanari-harley-quinn-psycho-sexy

Futanari Harley Quinn Poem

 

#LPRTG

LiteraryPornRTG sponsors Futanari Harley Quinn Romance (see original)

for all the futa fans of batman 

she has a two-toned gun
the slick-skinned slut criminal
she’ll use the fucking thing
she’s got the jester’s PVC cap
on
the bells ring
red and black
as her clit
swells
her nipples bulge
on her big
slippery tits
her dick rings
as her bell
guns
mushroom-like and juicy
it busts
its veins
its cum tube
all over
the cat woman’s mask
and matching black lipstick
as her red hair billows in Gotham’s wind

 

 

 

 

 

Find more Posts about Superheroes

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Dildogeddon – Learn how to protect yourself

dildogeddon

Dildogeddon — What the heck is that?

Well, you’ve probably heard of the pornapocalypse, the desire of almost all medias to rid themselves of vile adult content. Even twitter is on the anti-porn train recently. Ugh. Why? What’s with puritan America trying to tell all of us what to do. I don’t like it at all. Not one little bit.

Now, dildogeddon is the attack of earth by alien forces. These aliens aren’t the regular aliens with big green heads who violate lonely humans on motherships, nope, these are sentient alien dildos that reproduce when united with Earthling cum. It’s a funny, schlocky B-movie, campy book by Moctezuma Johnson. It’s also a metaphor for how all this conservatism from American evangelicals to Islamic Fundamentalists is just totally bat-shit fucking crazy.

Read the Triangulum Stain Series for more.

Dildogeddon – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos

The Five HiveThe Battle for Alien Relish

Bullshit Bulletin #7 @MJKingOfErotica #LPRTG #EARTG @horbooks

There has been a significant rise in the number of LPRTG Newsletter followers. Thank you to all the new recruits.

For those of you considering joining, consider this:

WE WANT YOU! WE WANT YOU! WE WANT YOU AS A NEW RECRUIT

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This Site

The other awesome success has been the rise in people buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for our books while the author gets the entire profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you.

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Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade

What's with the feet?

What’s with the feet? Click the heels to buy the book!

Of course, the nude new news for MJ fans is that he’s crawled out from under a rock to pen the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade and is about to drop a How To book that will blow your fucking minds. It’s kind of my version of Callie Press’s How To Give Good Head. As you know, women kind of suck at giving head except for a few blesséd souls.

This one is about you. And, hot damn, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. What? Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.

Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!

Do you hear that? Right in the peripheral of your brain. Yes that. Like audio ghosts. What the…? What is that? Is that what I think it is, baby? Callie? Emme? Genevieve? Mama? Is that the funk? The Flashlight? the Mothership? How’s your Funk? la da da di da da da da da da da. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam! 

How’s your Funk-Entelechy? Me? Well, I’m known as lollipop man, aka the long-haired sucker, so not to0 funkin’ bad. Why are there stars in your eyes? All the better to funk you with.

Bernie Worrell, Dr. Woo, RIP, my funk brotha!

I was lucky enough to see Dr. Woo play over thirty times at various locations from small supper clubs to big concert halls. I was also given the amazing moment of meeting the band and chatting with them for hours, which I’ll obviously never forget. This man truly changed my life. Y’all may not know, some of you do, that I moonlight as a funk brother playing drums, keyboard, guitar, and bass depending on the funk. In fact, I didn’t have eyes on writing at all when I was younger. I was music all the way. If you’d like to know the truth, ask away. Until then, i’ll leave it shrouded in mystery. Listen to one of the greatest keyboard players to ever touch the planet Earth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tL8shj6yx0 – Very cool jam with even the audience involved

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Anything else to report these days? If so, let me know.

Ooh Ooh, nerdy girl editing by Jenn, the ex-Disney star. Try her out. She did the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapades. She’s a genius. Any mistakes are mine, not hers. I’m the one who can’t edit worth shit. Click the link and see what she offers. Mention my name when you do.

And the last thing is there are a lot of new poems on this site by both me and my new super-crush Genevieve Greene.

 

A parting tweet to enjoy:

Photos Galore SMUTPUNK, Big Tits, and More #LPRTG #MMF #BigTits

chelle69_dbf4ab ThongThursdayAsian

Look at those Big Tits (big Asian tits) dipping in the water!

taking-selfie-of-getting-dick-sucked

#NSFW Fotos eroticas del escritor Moctezuma Johnosn @MJKingOfErotica

una puta de moctezuma

12357740_939514879476284_767363362_n blackthorne-bigtit-bondage

vW-D5oWPv_A

In the old days of porn, women positioned their heads together like this to eat jizz, but you rarely see that anymore. Even porn has trends.

tumblr_ny4k7cRKXl1tjqu37o1_500 AsianBigTits-Moctezuma CuteLittleFlatMidriffAsianSubmissive MoctezumaINDIAsmutpunk-romance photo 2

Natasha from MILKED BY THE YETI

Natasha from MILKED BY THE YETI

tumblr_nb81t03QJb1si7csqo1_1280

Do you love FUTAs?

209_erotic_hotties big-hot-ass-going-upstairs-literary-porn-sexpunk-smutpunk tumblr_nrmi28txLW1uagzjqo4_540 latina-hottie-w-BigTits-HardNipples liftupyourskirt wrinkled-brow-while-pounding

I'm not sure where the line between classy and nasty is all the time.

I’m not sure where the line between classy and nasty is all the time.

images (2)

Mad for Jizz

Mad for Jizz

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At the back of Bored to Tears by My Asian Husband is a very fucked up story of a young wife and an alleyway. It’s a little smutpunk gem in an otherwise pretty straightforward little book.

Redheaded slut beautifully disgraced on streets of Madrid.540p_logo 15-rubbing-cocks-against-her-cum-glazed-face black-girl-eating-asian-pussy-07 bitch-getting-used Thong Thursday for Kat Crimson thong-ass AsianSlutStoopsToSuckWhiteDick beauty-sexy-girl-big-tits-hot-sexy-lingerie-1 psychedelic_porn_by_danorszewsk-cum-catcher gunge.comic poison-apples.best-cover11

 

Peel Another Banana America | An anti-imperialism poem | #erotic #political #poetry #LPRTG

Read Moctezuma Smutpunk

Peel Another Banana, America

Aztec King / El Rey Azteca

Image by Davichi via Flickr

You love Aztec bitches
in their feathered headress
tattoed Teotitlan titties
hairless heiroglypic cunts
Today Tijuana has–
Meshica cunt shtuffed
full of obsidian cock–
Dress her up like an Aztec
in jaguar skin
to sacrifice at the altar
of thick Moctezuma cock
lay her on the stone
high atop pyramid
high on princess pussy
with King-sized cock
plunge that guatemalteca
like you were splitting her
in two, ripping her apart
to get her entrails out

splatter that tomato
chocolate- and coffee-inventing
face with dick drip
diciendo: “dame dame dame
todo el poder!”

 

Read the Rest of the Poem on the Full Poem Page, Sorry (I had some formatting issues and couldn’t get it all to paste here well)

Poem by Mistress of SMUTpunk, the illustrious QUEEN Kegel | #MrBrtg #LPRTG #SSRTG

Do we really need another literary category subcategory? Why not, smutpunkists? by Emme Hor There are so many literary ‘punks’ these days that it just seems like a buzzword to use in the new age of selling books via keywords. Imagine the Classics: Lolita (Old Man Young Vixen Daddy Age Play Series) or Hamlet (DubCon Paranormal 15th Century Murder/Suicide Crime Thriller Mystery Royalty & Aristocrats), or even Star Wars (Metaphysical and Visionary Galactic Empire Space Marine Clones Incenstuous Paranormal Space Soap Opera Dystopian Sci-Fi Series). So everybody is trying to get on the algorithm’s good sides with creative keyword use, and you now have categories upon categories with subcategories inside categories. Frankly, it has become a mess. If you like muck, then you’re in heaven searching for a book on amazon. If you don’t, you type in your favorite keywords and you’re on with it. So now you have steampunk, cyberpunk, splatterpunk, and a bunch of punks to help you sort through the mess and find something cool and unique that you like. Well, add smutpunk to the list. Smutpunk, really? That sounds awful. Strangely, though, the new term applies to work that isn't bad. It’s erotica with plot that mixes forms from such varied sources as magic realism, science fiction, and Asian kung fu movies. In the same way most other punks use some common thing to glue them together, smutpunk uses the most basic protein of all to create its own panspermia universe, mixing pop-culture, erotica, the Cthulhu mythos, Far East legends, and Non-Western spirituality with Science Fiction, Pulp, and Silver-Age-Comic era elements into a head spinning, ball-busting good time. The idea behind it, formulated originally by Moctezuma Johnson and Callie Press, is to make erotica stand up on its own even if you remove the sex (which these writers admit they sometimes forget to provide) because the plots have other equally important elements. In Halloween 2015 Callie Press’s Butterface was highly-lauded, and Moctezuma Johnson’s Battle for Alien Relish has recently been featured as a kind of B-movie classic on WTF Friday. Smutpunk is just beginning and has only scratched the surface of the its full potential like a Sith lord just beginning to use the dark side for tripping her friends and giggling. Get on the slippery bandwagon and have a taste. Type Smutpunk into Amazon and see what new worlds you get.

Untitled Poem by Callie Press

I went to town to see a man

Who wasn’t even there

And when I left to buy an ounce

A sadness filled the air.

The twerp I bought from made a pass,

But he was just a pup.

I shoved my smutpunk up his ass

And that quite shut him up.

His older brother, he was cute

so then we messed around until their father got off work,

still dressed up as a clown.

A clown is creepy, I declared.

White grease paint

smeared my tits.

Both dad and son

made Callie cum

as twerp jerked off in fits.

No really, he was spastically

yanking at his stiffie.

In starts and stops

and ups and downs

it really was quite nifty,

But I grew bored of that odd place,

I blew that nutty scene

because that kind of stupid shit

should only be in dreams.

Life is rarely dumber

than the fucking shit I live.

I want it all to end sometimes

and this is where I change the rhymes

because that’s what I want.

I am the queen in this,

my dream, and you the debutante.

So suck it up, you little bitch

because I run this show,

and if there’s info that you need

I’ll tell you when I know.

Until then eat a bag of dicks

and buy my fucking books,

and live your life your own damn way

and something something -ooks.

I could have spent time on a rhyme

that made that line work out

But this is off the top my head

my brains’s a running spout

of useless facts and funny shit

it never must make sense,

And Iron Maiden taught me well

to rhyme the word ‘vengeance.’

So go away, fuck off, begone,

because I’m off to bed, with fuzzy head

and hair of red and aching legs of lead

from running all the LIVE LONG day

I’m tired, cold, and dead. Night.

 

Take me to read more incredible SMUTPUNK by Callie Press

Funny video about the fucking yeti | #EARTG #LPRTG #SSRTG

funny-video-milked-yeti

Funny Video: Milked by the YETI

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Visit the Literary Porn Smutpunk Tag to find all the installments of MILKED BY THE YETI by Moctezuma Johnson and Callie Press. It’s just so bad it’s good: wit-laced B-movie schlock dished out by two of smutpunk’s finest.