Ladies, this is how you properly rub balls and shaft while getting fucked from behind #LPRTG #SexTips | Sex Tip #18
Sex Tip No. 18 – Proper Ball and Shaft Technique during a Menage
There’s always some new essential info out there. Last year, rimming became commonplace. I try to keep you up to date with the trends. Ladies, this is how you properly rub balls and shaft while getting fucked from behind. Menage is the new missionary for 2018. Be prepared!
Okay, the key thing when you’re bent over and getting fucked from behind is to spread the enjoyment you are receiving. You need to pay that pussy’s pleasure forward.
So let your fingers spread out and fan them over the other guys balls. Lightly rasp them against his balls in an upward motion that moves toward the shaft. Be sure to keep the cock in your mouth during this procedure. This is no time to stop sucking dick. Sucking dick is the focus. I’m teaching you the proper background technique. Let your finger walk from his balls to the base of his shaft. Have your hand close around the shaft and squeeze. Then go right back to rasping your fingers against his balls. Start at the bottom of the balls, right near the peniranum or the anus. That’s how you max out his pleasure while his friend massages your g-spot with his cockhead.
Ladies, this is how you properly rub balls and shaft while getting fucked from behind
Ladies, this is how you properly rub balls and shaft while getting fucked from behind
Snorting Cum (the fetish) – Deliberately inhaling jism to get a high
Disambiguation: A semen snort is a synonym for a cum snarf where a person laughs while someone is coming in her throat. In this case, the jizz shoots out the nose. I call this the “cum dragon” or the “cum snarf,” but this snorting splooge business, in my opinion, is something else. (cum snarf example)
Cum Snort is the instance where a person has a fetish of lining up their own or their partner’s cum into rails or bumps, much like cocaine, and inhaling the rails through their nostrils. This tends to coincide with an overall cum-craving like the one shown in Moctezuma Johnson’s character Jynx (alt link) from Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired. Jynx, as you may already know, will go to just about any lengths to get her daily dose of dick drinking—thus the refrigerator full of ampoules filled with semen. Jynx is the kind of woman that will happily kneel down with a credit card in hand and chop up the dried cum into little crystals, roll up a dollar bill, and snort it into her brain. The sensation is quite an aphrodisiac rush, so be careful as it may be highly addictive.
Cum snort can also be done with a small straw, like a drink straw for a cocktail, dipped into a shot glass filled with cum. It’s helpful to have the man jerk off into the shot glass first. Cum snorting is best done warm, but refrigerated cum will suffice in a pinch. Try not to use fake cum as it doesn’t have the same medicinal effects of real cum. Also, when using refrigerated semen remember that it doesn’t keep well. It will spoil in approximately three days.
The medicinal effects of cum:
- a rosy flush of the cheeks
- higher protein
- increased brain function
- higher reported case of visits with aliens (especially the anal probing kind)
- feeling “full” longer after eating
- hydrated skin
- Rich in Vitamin B and C
- Rich in rare minerals like Selenium
- Can be used via Neti Pot in a Semen Sinus Cleanse
- great camaraderie building event
See below for XXX examples of Snorting Cum:
What is pooning?
First you get your girl really fucking hot so that she gets wet and moist down there. She has to be so hot that she’s squirming in her panties and leaking all over her underwear. Once her knickers are nasty and juicy, take them off of her and blow dry them until the wetness forms little crystals. Scrape cunt pool crystals off the panties with a razor. Here you have a few choices. Scrape into bowl or rolling paper and smoke until the aphrodisiac high hits or, better yet, scrape the pussy pellets onto a reflective surface and snort those cunt crystals until you see Nirvana.
Pooning in Erotic Literature
Well, my bitch is a total nutbag whore as you know. She gets off on the oddest fucking things like being told that I want to fuck her best friend in the ass while she gets relegated to my ass to rim me. This pisses her off and brings the primal beast to life. Her nostrils flare and her pupils dilate. Her pores open. The little hairs on her neck stand up. That’s where I grab her, hard. Like I’m grabbing a pussy cat by the neck flesh to lift her up, I grab my angry pussy and shove her down on my hard cock. My bitch is the type of girl to get really hot at this point. I fuck her face hard for a while. “You’re friend, Christina, sucks so much better than this. She goes all the way to the root and then some. She gets me harder than this.” I see she’s hot, her nipples are rock hard in her tight little t-shirt.
I tell my bitch to strip. I take her panties and sure enough they are soaking fucking wet.
“You’re such a little whore, aren’t you? You just fucking love being manhandled. You will get that tongue so deep in my ass even while I’m pounding your bestie hard up her slutty ass. If you’re this wet now, how wet will you be when I make her scream with my big, hard Latino cock?” I wipe her panties right through her slit. She’s a puddle down there and all that glorious pussy juice, that mucous membrane masterpiece transfers onto her panties.
The blow-drier whirs as it dries up the cunt current. The cunt juice hardens into little crystals, into powder. I take a razor and scrape the charged discharge off onto a little cocaine mirror. Tonight, I’m not snorting cocaine. Oh no! Tonight is the nectar of the nookie!
I roll up a 1000 Korean Won note in honor of her heritage and have her bend over. I line up the nookie nuggets on her big, phat asscheeks and then dive in and snort a line of cunt crystal off her Korean keister.
The aphrodisiac, the cunt crack, kicks in in a moment. My cock is rock hard and I’m feeling invincible. While she’s bent over I point my cock and her dark brown bullseye and say, “Spread it like your bestie does!” in Korean. I rarely speak to my bitch in Korean but when I’m high anything goes. She reaches back obediently and spreads her phat Korean asscheeks wide open, tits shmushed into the carpet for balance. I crush her ass canal with cruel chunky cock until she’s screaming into the floor so loud the neighbors bang on the wall to tell us to shut the fuck up. I oblige after growling chillingly while cumming up her ass.
Her ass drips my cum out as I sit on the carpet with my hand on my head, coming down off that aphrodisiac high. A big globule of cum forms on her ass, then glides down her cunt lips. I have the dollar bill still rolled up in my hand, so I use it to move the cum into my palm. I smack her ass and she takes the signal to turn around. I give her the rolled up 1000 Won bill and my bitch obediently snorts the cum out of my hand and up her nose.
Current Sex Tip – Pooning
This week’s sex tip is one of the great taboos. Getting tongue on your ass is a spectacular thing, but I suggest that a little maintenance and cleanliness can help get things rolling in the ass eating department. Hey, fellas, here are some manscaping tips.
“If you manscape, they will rim.” –Moctezuma Johnson
Manscaping for Rimming – Sex Tip No. 15
So, guys, you really need to take care of your junk. Smooth testicles, no hair on the cock itself, and clean up the forest under the balls and in the ass crack. This will give clean, smooth access to your asshole. It’s funny. I cleaned up the area yesterday and got a rimjob that very afternoon. Is it coincidence? I think not.
There’s a knack to manscaping. Get yourself a good razor. If the bush is out of fucking control like a Mayan rainforest during the Spanish conquest then you may want to opt for an electric razor. I suggest using Wahl Color Pro Complete Hair Cutting Kit 79300-400T with the No. 1 setting attached (that way you don’t cut yourself). Once it’s trimmed, you can either leave it as is, or go the full monty and get out Gillette Fusion5 ProGlide Men’s Razor with 2 Razor Blade Refills and Taylor of Old Bond Street’s Sandalwood Shaving Cream Bowl, 5.3-Ounce. Lather up good with hot water and plenty of cream. Then jerk off. Not ’til completion. Just jerk it until there’s some life in the cock. If you’ve got a chubby it’s way easier to shave as your balls tighten and the razor will shave your hair off much more effectively. This is a key tip to shaving your junk.
Also, nobody says you can’t shave your partner. That can be very sexy in itself and quite a powerful power trip. Holding a sharp razor to somebody’s genitals it quite the rush. They say you know a wolf loves you when she offers up her jugular to you for nuzzling. Offering up your genitals to a human holding a razor is our species’ way to show you love and trust your partner.
Now to shave the ass, shave the taint and under your balls (I suggest you use John Oliver’s $1 Million tactical wipes, for pre-taint shaving). Then shave the round ass cheeks right under the balls. Then you have to get up in their and shave right up against the anus. Clean that place out. You want it smooth as silk around your anus. Like the old Korean saying, “Smooth and clean attracts the tongue.” If you can’t see what you’re doing, squat over a hand held mirror to make sure you’ve gotten one hundred percent of the ass hair near the anus. Once that anus is clean, sit back and await the best pleasure a man (or woman) can get. Now you know why I sign my emails ‘Rimmies!” Enjoy.
Ladies, share this with your dudes to get them to presentable down there. Remind them that women love men in suits and this is like putting an expensive Italian suit on your ass.
Note: Feel Free to Use Other Shaving Products. Those are merely the things that I use!
Links to Each Week’s Sexual Advice:
New Tabbed Smutpunk Bookshelf
All the madcap cyberpunk, splatterpunk, genre-blending, gender-bending S. Punk you’ve come to expect from MJ, aka King SMUTPUNK
Click the tabs to see what books lie in that category. Start with Futanari and work your way all the way to Sci-Fi.
- Sarchasmo (Erotic Pulp)
- Alpha Male Spoof / Asian Erotica
- Steak and BJ
- Erotic Poems
- Non-Fiction (Sex Tips)
- Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade
- T. Ronald Dump (Political Satire)
- Big Beautiful Woman by Red Pesca
- Smutpunk on Skates by Emme Hor
- Triangulum Stain / Sci-Fi
- Asian Erotica - Confessions of an Asian Whore
Smutpunk Poetry (coming soon) Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!
The Black Book (coming soon) Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!
A story all about YOU in which YOU make all the decisions!
Pop & Lollie (Teabagged by the Sentient Lollipop aka the Candy Cunt Saga)
Am I missing something? Let me know. Please share this ever-updating bookshelf with your followers, too. Thank you.
Sploosh — How to Eat Pussy – Sex Tip #14
Eating Pussy isn’t that hard if you follow these three steps: be gentle, take your time, and dive in.
First you need to be gentle with a pussy. You can’t just grab her by the pussy and expect her to sploosh all over. No no no. Sploosh takes touch. You need to feel where she is as far as sensitivity and where she is emotionally. Women can be incredibly complex, like I can’t cum unless the light is on and the music is loud, or incredibly simple such as I cum no matter what, no matter, no bullshit. First, you need to be gentle with her while doing a little reconasaince work to figure out where she is on the maintenance spectrum. Do you need to get every small detail right to please this pussy, or is just a matter of find the clit and put your tongue on it?
Take your time and work with the pussy. Don’t go right for the clit and suck on it vigorously. No. Start with foreplay. You need to provide her with kisses. Deep French kisses, of course, are the best and then work down to her chin, her neck, her chest, her belly, then go around the pussy (yes, even if it’s out and glistening with sploosh), and lick her ass cheeks, her outer thighs, the back of her knees and come back up her inner thighs. When you do finally make contact with her pussy, run your tongue over her petals from side to side without stopping to eat her out. Tease her. Make her wait for it. The more she wants it, needs it, the more she’ll enjoy it. So take your time and tease that pussy!
Now comes the part here you dive right in. I do say dive in because there are times that you could use a wet suit. Other times she will take forever, the sun and moon will switch places in the sky, and you will end up with lockjaw. However, the main point here is that you need to go for it. Don’t just give a half-assed taste and shake your head and stick your dick in her. No. You need to worship that pussy, get intimate with it, know its hopes and dreams. Is it a pussy that had its acting dreams crushed by an asshole father or is it a pussy that is in touch with itself like a yoga guru with each limb? You need to get to know the pussy. I suggest you kiss the pussy. Kiss on top of it, plant a smooch on the bush (if there is any), then French kiss the lips. Think of it this way, you’re woman has two sets of lips to kiss. Give both pairs equal amounts of attention. Whatever you think is the proper amount of attention, put that to the third power, and then (maybe then) will you have kissed those pussy lips enough. Here are some tricks. Find the very bottom of her pussy and place your tongue on it. Make your tongue as wide as possible and move up centimeter by centimeter. Count to a minimum of ten seconds before you move up. The idea is to take a small, delicious forever before reaching the next stop on her petals. You may want to hold her ass cheeks while making your way from the bottom to the top of her pussy. You may want to hold her tits. That’s up to you, but whatever it is — take your time. When you do get to the clit, it’s time to adore it. Play with the clit. Nibble on the clit (use your lips more than teeth if she’s sensitive, which you should assume she is until you find out she’s not). Suck on the clit. Then rub the clit. Use the pad of your fingertips (unless you have callouses — ouch!). Rub the pads of your fingertips on her clit in tight, soft circles. Use the saliva and her wetness to keep it lubed and flying along. Try to barely touch her. The more you touch her invisibly the more you will tease that pussy and remember that teasing is good. After rubbing her with your fingers go back to tonguing her clit. You can start to flick your tongue over the clit, but this may be too much until she’s well into it. Once you’ve got her good and wet and into it (you’ll know my moaning, squirming, and her hands in your hair and on your head), then start to finger insider her pussy while you lick her clit. Finger her deep to her g-spot by hooking your middle finger and using the pad of your fingertip to touch her softly from the inside and hold pressure are her while you stimulate her clit simultaneously. The spot is kind of under her pelvis, so you’re simultaneously putting your finger insider her and up her and back towards yourself. You’re softly hooking her. You’ll know when you’ve found the spot from her reaction and it will feel fucking good on your fingertip (yes, it will!).
At this point she’s kind of making herself cum on you. Your job is just to stay there applying pressure, not too hard, but firm and coax the climax, elicit the orgasm, stir the sex haze until she shouts your name and falls back on the bed like a dead fish. If she’s hyped up, now is a good time to fuck her. She will give you the ride of a lifetime at this point — they always do. Otherwise, just pat yourself on the back (she should be way too spent to do so) and go about your business.
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Conversation that started this cunnilingus article out . . .
MJ: well, why don’t you teach me before I teach the world. LOL. At least give the essentials I should include
MJ: Porn is all tongue flick. that aint eating pussy. where’s the creativity?
MJ: What? Why not? You started it. Come on, tell me about eating pussy?
Renata: Ask your wife lol
MJ: Fuck it. How do you like your pussy eaten? Do you like nibbling on the clit? sucking? Are you into tongue slow and long on the petals? LOL, my wife? That’s the last pussy I want to eat! And you know it!
Moctezuma: Actually my wife is pretty orgasmic. She’s not that hard to make cum. Some women leave you with lockjaw.
Moctezuma: Yes, lockjaw! Fuck, just cum already! I had a friend in high school who used to complain that she took too long to cum so I ate her out as a dare, with a clock and all. LOL
Renata: This one time…I sound like an American pie movie. On of my exec got so carried away that I swear my clit was sprained. Hurt to a fortnight! And there go the typos!
How to Score a Book Boyfriend In the Flesh
Three Cockish Tips to Get the Man of Your Dreams to Appear in front of your Eyes
It has come to my attention that 60% of the women out there would prefer a book boyfriend to a real one. That’s an interesting fact. I started thinking about why I have fucked so many women and something occurred to me. I usually try to have a deep conversation with a woman who I am meeting for the first time. I want to meet ‘on the level.’ Usually, though, I find she’s not up to the task and then change gears to just trying to take advantage of her, which she is often game for. It’s almost like fucking is easier than talking. However, on the rare occasions when the two meet, you have a sizzling chemistry. I think that’s really what most of the women out there are looking for, the meeting of brains and brawn in one package. Well, from what I spy looking around, achieving that is a two-way street and, while men are sometimes to blame for dropping the ball, there are things you women can do better too. Here are three easy steps to finding a man as great as your ideal book boyfriend in the flesh: read, share, and eliminate the noise.
You need to read. The things is, when I look around FB most people are just reading the same old tired genre fiction. Yes, I look down on that (and, yes, I know there are exceptions). You need to expand your horizons and actually read stuff of merit. I write erotica. I know it’s crap. I can vouch for that (check the book shop here to verify). I’m not saying every erotica book isn’t worth reading. Many books are great. However, to feed the soul and become the kind of woman that a great man wants, takes a little more than reading a series of one wank wonders (as enjoyable as each may be). Read some philosophy, read some scientific treatises, read some literature. One of the reasons I am such a slow reviewer is that I read one erotica for every ten to fifteen other books I read. I like science (if you don’t know where to start, try Watson & Crick’s Double Helix, science-fiction (try Foundation by Isaac Asimov), and literature (try Cosmicomics by Italo Calvino) the most, but there’s a wide range of topics to read.
Next, to score yourself an amazing book boyfriend in the flesh, you’ll need to share posts (particularly my posts for maximum browning points). Share other writers, share what you love. Share good stuff. And cut out this inspirational bullshit (see B.A. Ro’lyin for what NOT TO DO, lol. Sorry, babe!). Being cute won’t get you jackshit in this life filled with assholes, backstabbers, and republicans. You need to be a hustler making moves. You need to actively employ that genius. You need firepower on the tongue and chili powder in the soul. If you prepare your brain-soul-loin connect properly, you don’t need some bullshit meme to tell you how to live or encourage you to keep doing what you already know. Not if you’re a smutpunk. And I know you’re a smutpunk, or why the fuck else would you be on this blog reading this shit? Right!? So get to it, share smutpunk and romance and all the good shit you love and build your network.
Last, cut the noise. Facebook is a good example of how there’s so much noise out there that seems okay that you may not even notice it is bad for you. There’s fake news, contradicting half-baked memes, religious quotes, romantic posts, and other complete mumbo jumbo. You scroll quickly through and think it isn’t infecting your brain, but it is. It’s a fucking virus. Beware! My advice, if you want to make a deep connection with a person that is rewarding mentally and physically, is shut the noise down and concentrate.
I’m not sure this really constitutes a sex tip. Maybe I have this in the wrong category. In fact, I’m not sure this is a tip at all. Maybe it’s a life hack. Maybe it’s a note to self to focus. I guess the point is that a book boyfriend (or girlfriend, of course) isn’t going to come to an undeveloped person. You need to cultivate what you are. Let me help.
Step one, use those buttons below to share this sex tip post by Moctezuma Johnson, author of THE SEX MANUAL.
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Sex Tip No. 12 – Spanking
Part of the Weekly Sex Tips Series
Spanking has been around for a very long time. So although we haven’t invented it, we can certainly enjoy it whether you are spanking or being spanked.
The key to spanking is to develop a soft spank. There will be time for hard spanking later, if your partner can take it and likes it, but first there needs to be a soft spank. Start by caressing the ass. That’s the main thing before spanking hard. You want to sneak up on that ass after a good caress, and THWACK! But not too hard. You can scare your partner half to death, so BE GENTLE!
Wait wait, pump the brakes, let me make some obligatory comment: Before Striking Anyone’s Big Phat Fine Booty, get their consent.
Good Girl Spanking
Now, let’s get into the blurry lines of pain and pleasure, of power and sex. Many woman are attracted to men in suits or men with (or who appear to have) money. Why is this? Power. Money is a symbol of power. Nothing turns most people on more than taking or giving power, based on that person’s personal needs/desires. Spanking is a transference of power. The one spanking has the power. The one being spanked is giving the power. The spanker in good girl spanking is often the guy fucking the girl from behind and slapping her ass while she’s in that ass-sexy doggy style position (see last week’s post about properly arching the back, ladies!). Spanking during doggy style is a good girl spanking. She’s getting fucked hard. There’s no seeing each other’s faces, she feels like an animal and the spank is a kind of powerful way to remind her—giddy-up—to move faster and really push back on that dick. It’s a way for the person spanking her and fucking her to say, good girl. Of course there’s a little more to it than simply one giving and one taking, but for this short post I’m not going to get into the deep and muddy waters of how the submissive is really in control and all that acid jazz. For this post, the one spanking is taking charge.
Bad Girl Spanking
However, spanking doesn’t have to be a good girl confidence boost. It can be a punishment. Spanking can be a more of a bad girl ritual. You can get her in a slutty outfit and use some paraphernalia like crops, whips, and paddles to punish your partner for bad behavior. You may still want to caress that ass a little bit first to warm it up before dishing out your punishment, but ultimately you are meant to cause pain and to keep your disobedient slave in line. This can be a punishment for not following orders, for dressing incorrectly, or anything up you dream up.
60% of women like to be spanked!
Pain and Pleasure Come from the SAME receptors int he brain (if you’re reading this blog, my guess is that you already knew that. SMUTPUNK up, baby!)
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Correct Position for Doggy Style Sex
These are Moctezuma Johnson’s Weekly Sex Tips Cosmo Just Doesn’t Have the Balls to Give You
The Proper Way to Arch Your Back during Doggy Style Sex
Yep that’s the right way to do it (see photo to the right — or above or wherever it lands on your device). Of course, ideally her head should be in the carpet with a foot on her head and her lips wrapped around a toe, unless there’s a second cock, in which case her lips should be tightly gripping the base of said second cock. She should have her ass high up in the air and her lower back in a concave shape. She should NOT have her lower back in a convex shape. Bad. In other words, if the man fucking her from behind were to drop a toy car down her ass crack it would ramp down her spinal canal to her lower back and then shoot up her shoulder blades and jump in the air. If she’s in the correct position when he pulls out and jizzes on her back, the cum will form a pool on her lower back. It will not drip off like vanilla sauce on a chocolate scoop sitting atop a cone.
That’s the correct position for doggy style sex, not this lame trembling cat stretching pose. It’s amazing how unsexy a little convex lift of the lower back is. An arched back is pure sex appeal. So, ladies, men, transgenders, get in the right position when taking a good fucking from behind.
This position is also the correct position to be in when sucking cock of someone seated on the couch. This position gives him a gorgeous view of your ass. Remember, the visual is half the fun of a good blowjob.
This position is also the correct position for looking for loose change under the couch when scrounging money for cigarettes.
Note: Any photos emailed to me of the correct position will receive a complimentary prize. If you don’t have my email address, please get it at my mailing list.
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SEX TIP No. 6 – Role Play
Don’t just get on top of each other and pump. Give a little historical context to the thing. Maybe you’re the professor and she’s the slutty student. Maybe she’s the Queen of England and you’re an attendant. Maybe you’re a beast and she’s your weak, defenseless prey. Maybe you’re the priest giving her a naughty, nasty, masturbatory penance. Spice it up by playing some roles. At XXXmas time make her a naughty girl and good santa or vice versa, as well as some elf-punks getting jiggy on the rooftops. Love trains, how about making her strip and lean against the column in the subway system and giving her backshots?
You really can’t go wrong with a little roleplay.
Something about leaving your own constrictions has enormous, exponential freedom attached to it. I highly recommend you pretend to be me and have the time of your life. Oh yeah. Have yourself a SMUTPUNK spree. Read the books and apply reenactments liberally.