Peel Another Banana America | An anti-imperialism poem | #erotic #political #poetry #LPRTG

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Peel Another Banana, America

Aztec King / El Rey Azteca

Image by Davichi via Flickr

You love Aztec bitches
in their feathered headress
tattoed Teotitlan titties
hairless heiroglypic cunts
Today Tijuana has–
Meshica cunt shtuffed
full of obsidian cock–
Dress her up like an Aztec
in jaguar skin
to sacrifice at the altar
of thick Moctezuma cock
lay her on the stone
high atop pyramid
high on princess pussy
with King-sized cock
plunge that guatemalteca
like you were splitting her
in two, ripping her apart
to get her entrails out

splatter that tomato
chocolate- and coffee-inventing
face with dick drip
diciendo: “dame dame dame
todo el poder!”

 

Read the Rest of the Poem on the Full Poem Page, Sorry (I had some formatting issues and couldn’t get it all to paste here well)

How To Give Head | Sex Tips | Wipe Your Ass With That Cosmo

invisiblesmutpunkheader

When drunk at the bar, when chatting with a fan, when lying in bed with the wife the question seems to always come up: How to Give Good Head

Many women have professed to me their amazing skills at sucking dick. When I ask why they think they are sucking superstars, I hear answers like “I’ve never heard any complaints” or something to that effect. That is hardly roaring support from a man who has put his most sensitive appendage into your toothy mouth, ladies. Kid yourself no more!

Men know the truth: less than 2% of women can really suck a dick like a pro. Chances are the girl with whom you’re speaking is a shit cocksucker. And the scary part is she doesn’t even know it. Wipe your ass with what Cosmo has been telling you!

Here are some tips for women to learn to suck dick well, from a guys perspective. Women, print them out and post them on the refrigerator. Men, print them out and post them to your belly so she can get a good look at the right time.

How to Give Good Head Sex Tips:

  1. Kneel – position is key, for role understanding, for ease and depth of cock-taking, and for the visual pleasure of the dude. It’s not the only great position, but it’s the starting point. Kneel down, it tells him your willing to put in the effort needed to suck a dick right.
  2. Make eye contact – make him feel like you’re there to pleasure him, like you aim to please and serve. Smiling is not necessary but it won’t hurt.
  3. Lick the balls and the shaft – this will make him feel like you want to do a good job, like you desire all of him.
  4. Take it into your mouth and swirl the tongue around it – have a little fun with his cock. Imagine you are French kissing him, but not on his mouth, on his beautiful dick.
  5. Make sure you go until his balls are against your lips – you have to go all the way down if you want to really do a great job (you can learn more on how to do this below but in more depth–lol–on many other great sites. I’m just telling that this is where the money’s at, in deepthroat.
  6. Relax your throat – Let his cock into your mouth. Breath around it and through your nose. When you feel like your choking let it out and take a deep breath in. When the tip reaches the back of your throat, swallow.
  7. Lay on the bed (or couch) and let your head hang off – this position allows him to really get deep down your throat! Let him fuck your throat! Let him take control! This is the hottest part and probably when he’ll cum
  8. Depth is everything – If you swallow his whole cock, he will be obsessed with your mouth and even the rest of you.

Those are the basics, and basically women don’t possess this list. There is a lot of messing around with the head, scratching it with your teeth, sucking it like you’re vacuuming, peehole licking, and other nonsense that really doesn’t feel very good.

###

Feel free to post comments and ideas below. Thanks.

Books Read by Brittany During the Flight from the USA to Thailand | #MrBrtg

by Emme Hor

Kindle Erotic Books read by Brittany in I Am Not a Whore, At Least Not Yet! from the Confessions of a Whore Series.

The Book of Real & Imaginary Girlfriends 1 & 2 by Moctezuma Johnson

[amazon text=Butterface by Callie Press&asin=B0151S70BW]

[amazon text=His Cherished Sub by Linzi Bassett&asin=B015VE6J5E]

[amazon text=Submission at the Tower by Felicity Brandon&asin=B014VUFQMG]

[amazon text=Jizziebelle by Kat Crimson&asin=1943322007]

[amazon text=That Beefhead by Emme Hor&asin=B0118FWZIA]

 

 

 

How to Convince Your Girlfriend to Let Me Face Fuck Her | #Facefucking #DeepthroatDecember #LPRTG | aka How to Cheat

how-to-sex-for-men-manual

 Aka, How to Cheat, How to Steal a Girl and Fuck her Throat with Reckless Abandon

We already covered how to get her to let you face fuck her but now we’re covering the way more important bit about how to get me to jam cock into your girlfriend’s mouth. It’s really not all that hard to seduce your latent slut and get her kneeling and gagging. There are just a few things to consider and she’ll be eating my nut-butter in minutes. Most hot girls are unlikely to want to disrupt any good atmosphere. So get the party started. The first thing is to get her laughing. Once they start having fun they are really not remiss to eat my cum. After getting your girl to laugh, and while making her chuckle, I get her really drunk. Now I start rubbing her ass, her back, her shoulders, her hand, her nipples, her tits, her pussy, and then her asshole. The whore has been dying for deep-dicking all night, so getting her to stay with me isn’t hard. Watch the way her eyes dart around the bar, she’s looking for dick — and mine is going to be pounding her tonsils while you’re home watching youjizz.com and touching yourself (now that you’re reading this, you will be defiling my girl soon while I watch porn and jerk it).

After the bar is nearly empty, I take your bitch outside and push her against the wall. We kiss. My cock is already out. I shove her down. Her eyes open wide and my pole pounds against her tonsils. She makes a heaving sound and then throws herself at my cock, choking herself, impaling herself — I don’t know why girls do this. Perhaps she likes the challenge of deepthroating a massive cock. Perhaps she cannot accept failure. I help her along by pushing her head against the wall and doing it to her. I see something in her eyes, a twinkle. She loves having an alpha male show her her place. She loves getting used hard. She’s sure of her role. She’s discovering herself. She enjoys submitting. She wants to serve. She’s ho. She’s calm.

I pull out and smack her with my cock. She stumbles back and her head knocks against the wall. I am about to say sorry when I realize she’s so turned on. “You like that, huh?”

She says, “I love big cock.”

I shake my head while looking down at her. “Then suck it,” I say.

“Cum in my mouth, baby,” she says. “I want to taste it.”

Slobber drips from my shaft onto the pavement. She is ready to fully submit and get face fucked how I dream it this time. She lets it bang deep down, her chin on my balls, her nose in my pubes, her throat wrapped tightly around the shaft of my cock. She’s nothing but my fantasy.

She looks hot getting her throat stuffed. I hold her head and blast off inside of her. She moans as each spurt erupts.

BONUS:

When a blowjob is good enough I hear steel drums in my head and my teeth fall out. It’s like my head has been filled with helium and I float over the clouds for a few minutes in post-fellatial space-travel. Me, the protein, and the pleasure principle take a cumulonimbus-dance and then I return to Earth, back to my body, kick the bitch out, and sleep. Be lucky enough to get the boot!

$.

$. The End $.

$.

 Jynx-Moctezuma-humiliation-literary-porn-facefucking.gif

Subliminal Message. Everybody loves Jynx and Moctezuma. Click the nipple to show your love by getting Chronicles of a Humiliation and enjoying yourself with a smutpunky good time.

 facefucking2Jynx

Her tits bloom as she gets her throat pounded. Artist’s rendition of the mental effect of deep throat on the brain of Moctezuma Johnson

 

 

Don’t forget to share this post, luvies! 

How to Convince Your Girlfriend to Let Me Face Fuck Her

Tastefully Airbrushed for your Pleasure || What the fuck? Playboy, too? || A Guest Post by Callie Press | #LPRTG #EARTG #Playboy

WTF

I want to thank Callie for agreeing to post on my dirty little site. She’s got more balls than most men I know and also has big tits. In other words, she’s a hot, mental Futa! Let me introduce her and then make way for the juggernaut of smart that is Ms. Press. 

While Callie could barely type a word thanks to being as high as the Fuck Force Five flying to Planet Alien Relish I asked her to guest post because she was blowing my mind with these ideas that all the alpha males have gone with Joe DiMaggio and (Paul Simon is a prick by the way, unrelated) and that even Playboy — what? — has given up on nudity and fallen into the horrifying, sanitized, apathetic throes of censorship and handbag carrying pussy-men. 

GUEST POST: CALLIE PRESS (tastefully airbrushed for your pleasure) 

So I’m recovering from surgery and full of hydrocodone, which means I am tweeting endless insane DMs to MJ. As a result, when I ranted at least somewhat coherently on a subject, I got this DM in return:

Guest post for me please! Pretty please. Pretty no nudity in playboy and I carry a handbag please.

How can I refuse? That’s 3 pleases from MJ without even one mention of a gagging blowjob or a gaping ass fuck, so I know he really, really meant it. Besides, I’d do it for him if he asked me in any case, if I wasn’t totally absent-minded about things.

So this topic is Playboy removing nudity from the magazine. I know print is dying (I know it first hand, I used to make a living in the newspaper industry) and I guess they want to be more PC since Hef is finally aware he’s mortal. And I’m as feminist as anybody. All my life I’ve done what I wanted because that’s what men do and I didn’t care if someone said I couldn’t do something ‘because I’m a girl.’ I was never ashamed of enjoying sex even though it didn’t go over too well in my religious household or in the small towns we landed in once we left Detroit.

But won’t someone think of the CHILDREN? What kind of men are we making?

Hear me out. Yeah, porn is everywhere on the internet. And it’s trivial to hide looking at it, even if you have a prudish wife like in that atrocious and hysterically funny made-by-a-local-church movie “Fight” (trust me it’s HIGH LARIOUS). Or even if you just have a jealous wife like I can be sometimes. (I want all the attention by those who have a cock, it’s just how I’m made). And little girls and little boys both need some evidence that their dads have a pair, no matter what kind of a shrieking harpy their mother may be.

I found my dad’s playboys when I was probably 12, under the seat of his car. They were there, instead of in the house, because my mom has always been a…difficult person. And I looked at them and it didn’t traumatize me. I have older sisters; the anatomy wasn’t new, but the beauty of the anatomy was. And it made me think, wow, Dad likes women, and Mom can’t control him so much that he stops liking women.

It was a good thing to know. For a lot of men, sadly, it seems this is the closest they ever come to having a spine. For some men, as lame as it is, it’s the only sort of ‘rebellion’ or ‘alpha behavior’ they can ever manage to get away with. And did my Mom know he had Playboys? Of course she knew. Every woman knows. It’s like the only ‘boys will be boys’ thing that is really acceptable out of a man, at least after a few kids, for most women in this day and age. It’s that little spark of ‘bad boy’ that we can just knowingly smile about, even if we pretend to be offended. (Even if you are truly offended, actually.)

What's missing? Oh, my balls. Shit.

What’s missing? Oh, my balls. Shit.

Not any more though. Now if you want to see a tasteful naked woman, you have to do it on the internet. Yeah, that happens, right? Kids can’t learn about males’ natural drives in such an innocent and healthy way. Hell, the first time my husband ever saw a naked woman was when he found his dad’s cache of playboys…how many grown men can say the same thing? A lot of you. Someday that will be none. They’ll only get what they see on the internet, which is of course in a frantic race to reach the bottom. Tomorrow’s men won’t learn by seeing lovingly shot, carefully airbrushed, tasteful nudity. Their first glimpse of a naked woman will probably be stumbling on gangbang sites or something that really can dehumanize women who like sex. There’s no personal context unless it’s like fifteen seconds of the hot wife and hubby on the couch saying the same things as the last fifty couples who sat on the couch.

What it’s going to do is just neuter most men even more than they already have been neutered. I’m not saying I want a world full of alpha males, but this is the kind of thing that puts the boot on the alphas’ necks and makes betas out of them. The good men who happen to be alphas are stuck pretending not to be. The actual alphas that are left ‘in the wild’ are going to be the sociopaths, and it’s going to make women even more susceptible to them than we already are.

I want men to have the chance to buy their ‘dirty magazines’ or whatever and let their wives and girlfriends know, maybe you can TAME me, but you can’t CASTRATE me. I’m glad my hubby still has his god damn Carmen Electra issue, even if it makes me so jealous I want to slap her. If he isn’t enjoying how women look, he sure as hell isn’t enjoying how I look.

Let the boys look, for fuck’s sake. It’s good for everybody.

^.^

$. Callie $

Callie Press is the genius who created Butterface, as if you didn’t know that. Also, she be hot and gives great head.

 

Saint to Slut – Is your girl a slut? | Tricks to ascertain her status

saint-to-slut-AllWomenAreWhores

There’s nothing like making a girl go saint to slut

Defiling an innocent girl and getting her to impale herself on your dick is one of the great joys of sex. Another moment of bliss is watching the titties pop out. Watching panties come off is also a moment of glory, but I digress.

How to know if the girl you’re dealing with is a slut

A lot of women are sluts, so chances are you’re in the capable, good hands of one. Most women, and all great women, possess and inner slut who is dying to bust out of that conservative facade, grab you by the balls, and cream all over your dick. But before your ram it up her poop-chute, you may want to test the saint to slut waters first. I find this little trick quite helpful. Set a time limit the first time you talk to a girl. Ask her what her name is in the first twenty-five seconds and ask for a kiss twenty seconds later. If she kisses you then, you’ve likely got yourself a winner. I’m not saying that within a minute she will be in the bathroom kneeling and holding cock in her hand, but at this point it’s pretty safe to say she is leaning more towards whore than prude. If she is a whore, you’re ready to thrive in all aspects of my how-to series. The key thing to remember is that the transformation from saint to slut will not only make you happy, but it will fulfill a burning desire deep inside her too. And she will thank you for revealing her inner whore.

The How To Series – Useful Relationship Advice

This stuff works, guys. You can wipe your ass with Cosmo. The new world order has reduced men to whining little bitches. Yes, me too! I’m on a mission to reclaim my balls and stuff in the mouths of the masses. Come join me. Ladies welcome too!

Big Tits Small Waist

Women with big tits tend to be sluttier. Thank you, slutty women. Thank you. We love when you go Saint to Slut. We are grateful.

^.^

How to convince your girlfriend to give up her ass | #InstructionalSeries #SexManual #HowToSex

TheInstructionalSeries-by-MoctezumaJohnson

Anal (How to convince your girlfriend to give up her ass) – Part of the How to Series

Part of the How-to Instructional Series by Moctezuma Johnson

How can you not want to give this juicy ass anal?

First, if you’re easily offended, I don’t suggest that you read this (unless you’re a masochist and want to feel offended). Now, for those of you still with me, this is the most useful article you may ever read.

Every time I approach my girlfriend with my desire to defile her asshole, to rip her sphincter up, to make the slut into an anal whore, to sodomize her until her Montgomery bumps bloom, I get the same answer: “tomorrow.” Then tomorrow I get a reprise of the “no” refrain and wonder if I’m in some kind of endless no-anal loop. It’s depressing. I’m stuck in an endless promise of tomorrow. It’s like a bad link that redirects and redirects.

I know that in many ways she means well: she wants to please me, doesn’t want to disappoint me, yet isn’t sure she can tolerate taking my big cock up her ass. How can I change her mind? How can I make her want it?

I am no fool. I understand that it hurts her to take cock up in through the out door, but I also know that sometimes she’ll do it for me. Thus, I must figure out what’s the difference between getting her ass and having it denied me.

SETTING UP ANAL SEX

“It’s depressing. I’m stuck in an endless promise of tomorrow. Stuck in a no-anal loop.”

There is a lot of skill involved in getting her to let your big cock up her tight ass. It’s no small matter. It hurts, it can leave her constipated, sore, and walking a bit strange. It scares her, and it’s one session without the sure pleasure of clitoral stimulation. So you need to do a few things, most of them unrelated with sex. First, you need to addict her to all that princess stuff you are capable of. Get her dependent on your compliments, little baby words, and whatnot. Then pull it away. Subconsciously, make her aware that you could start up a relationship with someone else, and make her realize that she needs all that sugar that drips effortlessly out of your mouth. Subtly, make the connection that if she gives up her ass, she’ll get more sugar than she’s ever seen. Note, this must be done subtly, subconsciously, or she’ll feel cheap and feel like you’re trying to use or disrespect her. If she catches on to what you’re up to, you’re in a shitpile of trouble. So do it right.

Example (a very simplistic example):

“You’re my little princess, baby,” you say and stroke her hair romantically.

She says, “I love it when you talk to me like that.”

You, imagining your cock up her ass, blurt, “Why don’t you spread that asshole open so I can fuck it?”

She pulls away and looks at you like you’re a dirty pervert. Which, of course, you are.

as opposed to

“You want to be my little princess, baby?’ You stroke her hair romantically.

“Of course.”

“I want to be as close to you as possible.” Massage her. I mean all of her, don’t just go sticking your fingers in her asshole. Massage her elbows, her knees, the balls of her feet, her temples, her neck, her lower back, and then her ass-cheeks. Kiss her neck and ears gently. This is the best part for her. Don’t think the best part for her is when her tight sphincter has to open up to allow something in where it’s more accustomed to going out. Show her she can trust you to be soft and gentle. Show her that anal is more intimate and deeper than other kinds of sex. Yes she may want you to fuck her ass like a beast later, but now is all about trust. Show her you can be entrusted with her delicate ass. Her trust in you will overcome the fear that’s holding her back. Now you are ready to see if this is your chance. As you massage her asscheeks spread them open and let your fingers graze against her pussy lips and her anus. If she doesn’t wiggle away, you can stick one finger in gently and say: “You can be my little princess.” This makes the connection between princess and ass-stimulation (often the essential link). Simply say: “I’ll be gentle, don’t worry.”

(see the difference from the first example?)

This is the key: set up a relationship where she feels like she may lose you and/or your sugary love if she doesn’t keep you happy. Then make her feel safe and not scared by her decision to trust you. Once she’s going to give it to you don’t get all out of control. Be slow, rub her asshole, lick it, lube it up. Take your time with everything and when you start, don’t force it in. Let her come back into it. Getting the head in is the hardest part for her. At this point, follow all conventional anal sex wisdom. This you can look up. My service to you is the mental part: the persuasion/coercion of your girlfriend/wife. This is where I excel. I want to share my successes with you.

Now, once you’re all the way up her ass, she is all yours. There’s no turning back for her, so fuck her ass as hard as you like and tell her that she’s your anal pig.

Good luck!

Ass Property of Moctezuma Johnson warmed up with a White Board Marker - How to get Anal Sex

Ass Property of Moctezuma Johnson warmed up with a White Board Marker

 

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