4:00 am Tryst | #smutpunkpoem #poem #LPRTG

She sleeps on the floor with the baby

I sleep on the bed

We meet in the middle of the night

Like two school kids sneaking out there windows

We meet quick strip quick

Get right to it

Cock pussy titties shaking

Am I awake or dreaming?

Pretty Good Blowjob

My wife gave me a prettty good blowjob today. I’m not sure why. She sucked until

She gagged. Then she got on her back, let me straddle her. She licked my balls while I shot a load onto her tits. It was a small thick load, the kind that can glue your urethra shut.

I fell asleep holding to her ripe mangoes and looking at the very cloudy sky. Damn it was peaceful until some asshat client called and broke the reverie.

Snorting Cum – Sex Tip No. 17 | #SexTip #LPRTG

cum-snort-asian-sex-tips-fetish-2

Snorting Cum (the fetish) – Deliberately inhaling jism to get a high

Disambiguation: A semen snort is a synonym for a cum snarf where a person laughs while someone is coming in her throat. In this case, the jizz shoots out the nose. I call this the “cum dragon” or the “cum snarf,” but this snorting splooge business, in my opinion, is something else. (cum snarf example)

Cum Snort is the instance where a person has a fetish of lining up their own or their partner’s cum into rails or bumps, much like cocaine, and inhaling the rails through their nostrils. This tends to coincide with an overall cum-craving like the one shown in Moctezuma Johnson’s character Jynx (alt link) from Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired. Jynx, as you may already know, will go to just about any lengths to get her daily dose of dick drinking—thus the refrigerator full of ampoules filled with semen. Jynx is the kind of woman that will happily kneel down with a credit card in hand and chop up the dried cum into little crystals, roll up a dollar bill, and snort it into her brain. The sensation is quite an aphrodisiac rush, so be careful as it may be highly addictive.

Cum snort can also be done with a small straw, like a drink straw for a cocktail, dipped into a shot glass filled with cum. It’s helpful to have the man jerk off into the shot glass first. Cum snorting is best done warm, but refrigerated cum will suffice in a pinch. Try not to use fake cum as it doesn’t have the same medicinal effects of real cum. Also, when using refrigerated semen remember that it doesn’t keep well. It will spoil in approximately three days.

The medicinal effects of cum:

  • a rosy flush of the cheeks
  • higher protein
  • increased brain function
  • higher reported case of visits with aliens (especially the anal probing kind)
  • aphrodesiac
  • feeling “full” longer after eating
  • hydrated skin
  • Rich in Vitamin B and C
  • Rich in rare minerals like Selenium
  • Can be used via Neti Pot in a Semen Sinus Cleanse
  • great camaraderie building event

Links to Each Week’s Sexual Advice:

Volume 1 – 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | a complete baker’s dozen |

Volume 2 – 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19
a second baker’s dozen |

See updated blog of all my sex tips

not just Sex Tips – Volume 1 (but the following tips, too)

Get Auto Updates of New Sex Tips

$.

See below for XXX examples of Snorting Cum:

How to Cheat

 Aka, How to Cheat, How to Steal a Girl and Fuck her Throat with Reckless Abandon

We already covered how to get her to let you face fuck her but now we’re covering the way more important bit about how to get me to jam cock into your girlfriend’s mouth. It’s really not all that hard to seduce your latent slut and get her kneeling and gagging. There are just a few things to consider and she’ll be eating my nut-butter in minutes. Most hot girls are unlikely to want to disrupt any good atmosphere. So get the party started. The first thing is to get her laughing. Once they start having fun they are really not remiss to eat my cum. After getting your girl to laugh, and while making her chuckle, I get her really drunk. Now I start rubbing her ass, her back, her shoulders, her hand, her nipples, her tits, her pussy, and then her asshole. The whore has been dying for deep-dicking all night, so getting her to stay with me isn’t hard. Watch the way her eyes dart around the bar, she’s looking for dick — and mine is going to be pounding her tonsils while you’re home watching youjizz.com and touching yourself (now that you’re reading this, you will be defiling my girl soon while I watch porn and jerk it).

“Cum in my mouth, baby,” she says. “I want to taste it.” Slobber drips from my shaft onto the pavement. She is ready to fully submit and get face fucked how I dream it. She lets cock bang deep down, her chin on my balls, her nose in my pubes, her throat wrapped tightly around the shaft of my cock. She’s nothing but my fantasy. 

Moctezuma Johnson

 

After the bar is nearly empty, I take your bitch outside and push her against the wall. We kiss. My cock is already out. I shove her down. Her eyes open wide and my pole pounds against her tonsils. She makes a heaving sound and then throws herself at my cock, choking herself, impaling herself — I don’t know why girls do this. Perhaps she likes the challenge of deepthroating a massive cock. Perhaps she cannot accept failure. I help her along by pushing her head against the wall and doing it to her. I see something in her eyes, a twinkle. She loves having an alpha male show her her place. She loves getting used hard. She’s sure of her role. She’s discovering herself. She enjoys submitting. She wants to serve. She’s ho. She’s calm.

I pull out and smack her with my cock. She stumbles back and her head knocks against the wall. I am about to say sorry when I realize she’s so turned on. “You like that, huh?”

She says, “I love big cock.”

I shake my head while looking down at her. “Then suck it,” I say.

“Cum in my mouth, baby,” she says. “I want to taste it.”

Slobber drips from my shaft onto the pavement. She is ready to fully submit and get face fucked how I dream it this time. She lets it bang deep down, her chin on my balls, her nose in my pubes, her throat wrapped tightly around the shaft of my cock. She’s nothing but my fantasy.

She looks hot getting her throat stuffed. I hold her head and blast off inside of her. She moans as each spurt erupts.

 

She feels now how she went from your cherished loved one into my total fucking whore. She swallows me spunk. She owns it. She the slut. She the cum eating whore. I new identity has revealed her true self.

 

In my apartment she slathers baby oil all over her big ass cheeks with a huge, childish grin on her face. “I feel like a slip and slide,” she says as her hand slides all over her cute little ass.

I sit on my couch with her on top and facing away from me and fuck her in her asshole. You should see her now, body all oiled, my hands behind her head, keeping her pinned while her tits squeeze together, her empty pussy open, lips flapping in the rough wind as she gets sodomized hard and deep. She still grins like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She bites her own lip and then yells out, “fuck me!”

Her eyes roll into her head. I have the camera set up and watch her on my TV. “Do you see yourself, whore?”

 

BONUS:

When a blowjob is good enough I hear steel drums in my head and my teeth fall out. It’s like my head has been filled with helium and I float over the clouds for a few minutes in post-fellatial space-travel. Me, the protein, and the pleasure principle take a cumulonimbus-dance and then I return to Earth, back to my body, kick the bitch out, and sleep. Be lucky enough to get the boot!

facefucking2Jynx

Her tits bloom as she gets her throat pounded. Artist’s rendition of the mental effect of deep throat on the brain of Moctezuma Johnson

 

Jynx-Moctezuma-humiliation-literary-porn-facefucking.gif

Subliminal Message. Everybody loves Jynx and Moctezuma. Click the nipple to show your love.

Homemade Porn – Sex Tip No. 5 – Camera Placement for Home Porn

homemade-porn

Sex Tip #5

Homemade Porn Secrets Revealed

CAMERA PLACEMENT: HOW TO MAKE A PORN VIDEO

Skullfucking | Jizzing on tits/face | Slapping Sluts with Cock | Gaping

homemade-porn

Click the Ass for Butt Blug Erotica

  1. first get yourself a slut, pig, or slave
  2. then you must think about camera placement
  3. film her from many angles for short periods of time
  4. use short clips about 20 to 30 seconds at a time (no more than a minute)
  5. Use the iPhone’s iMovie trailer to organize your homemade porn into an awesome personal porn opus (no, seriously, this is a fucking great idea!)
CAMERA PLACEMENT
  1. Before starting your own home porn movie, have her model a bit
    • her with clothes answering questions
      • name?
      • first time on video?
      • like cum?
      • like blowing dudes?
      • like big cock?
      • are you going to suck my big cock?
      • will you give me your ass today?
      • are you a slut? pig? slave? ugly whore?
      • do you have a boyfriend?
  1. For shooting a homemade porn blowjob there are a few positions.
    • the knees (guy standing):
      1. You can shoot up to down on the tripod.
      2. Or you can go down to up.
      3. You can shoot from the side, most common,
      4. or through the guy’s legs—which features the girl’s tits.
      5. shoot for the side but down to up
      6. and shoot from far away
      7. she can hold it up to down, side to side, down to up
  1. the knees (guy sitting)
  2. straddling her
    • remember to…

      1. gag her
      2. make her bob up and down fast
      3. skullfuck her
      4. put cock into her cheek
      5. slap her face
      6. jizz on her face
  1. For shots of straight sex in your homemade porn, there are also a few ideas.
    1. missionary
      • first person view
      • from the side
      • from behind her, she must hold the camera
    1. her doggy style
      • shoot down to up from behind
      • shoot from in front while fish-hooking her
      • shoot from far away, side or ¾
      • first person, yank her hair
      • remember to…
        1. fishhook her
        2. yank her hair
        3. step on her head
        4. pour lube on her ass while doing her and then
        5. switch to from cunt to ass
        6. slap her ass cheeks
    1. cowgirl
      1. first person, tits and face
      2. facing the couch to shoot your ass
        1. spread it open with hands
      1. side
      2. fuck her ass
    1. her on her side
      1. camera over her
      2. camera facing her head and tits
      3. camera facing her ass
    1. her pretzeled
      1. placed over her shooting down from somewhat of a distance
    1. cumshot
      1. her facing cock and camera
      2. camera high and side,
      3. film all the cum on her after you finish
      4. make her suck more after
      5. have her hold the camera facing the cock and face
      6. get up close to see the cumshot

IDEAS

check to make sure you complete these:

  • Make her blow you for a while.
  • Slap her with your cock
  • make her smile while you slap her with cock even though she won’t really like it
  • Make her bend over so you can shoot that asshole
  • Have her say she’s
    • a slut
    • a slave
    • a whore
    • a pig
  • if she complains, gag her with a bandana
  • Fuck her fat ass with the camera low and behind
  • Pour yogurt on her and make her blow you
  • piss on her
  • bind her hands
  • cut her clothes

This is just an intro

There are tons of other ideas. These are just the basics, but they are a good start for porn amateurs. The key is to shoot lots of short scenes. Then get on iMovie (I recommend as a trailer) and paste these scenes in and you’ll get quite a high-octane little highlight show to give you hours of jerking and jilling pleasure. Enjoy! Remember to send me your creations. Don’t worry, it’s just art. So I won’t tell anybody.

$.

Previous Tip: Angry Sex

Next Tip: Roleplay

The Angry Sex Tip | Sex Tip #4

Angry-Sex-Tip

Weekly Sex Tip #4

Each person is different, this is rule number one. So you have to get to know each partner. Some partners need gentle touches, others want rough angry sex. Here’s the key to my angry sex tip. What makes angry sex so hot? Passion.

angry-sex-tipIf you’re having angry sex with someone you’re with somebody who knows how to push your buttons. That person is probably somebody who you’ve known for a while. Perhaps a spouse or a long term partner. Once in a while it’s a loathsome freak you’ve picked up and plan to hate fuck right from the beginning (no judgments, I’ve been there!). Now the disgust, anger, and hate have the adrenaline pumping and have you feeling alive! This is passion. Passion is the main ingredient in angry sex. It’s what takes the boring out of this rough romp in the hay. Funnel all the nasty feelings you have into your sex drive and voila! Men will have raging hard-ons and women will be as sensitive as a hairless kitty.

Now go for it. This is the time for rough facefucking, for thrusting dick into cunt like he’s a jackhammer trying to rip up the tarmac. Fuck one orgasm, let’s build a goddamn Egyptian pyramid. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. This is no time to be civil, get that nose in her cunt, dudes. Floss with her bush. Lick that asshole, ladies. Gag on his dick! This is Angry Sex, Hate Fucking for Lovers, Make-Up Sex, Break Up Sex, I Hate Your Guts Sex. Whatever you want, take it. You’re a beast! You’re an animal. You’re nothing but cock. You’re whole body is cunt.

Tired of him running his mouth? Grab him by the hair and sit on his face. Rub your cunt lips over him until he shuts the fuck up and pleasures you. Guys, bored of her whining? Fuck her so hard and deep that those whines turn to screams and her nails draw blood as she cums repeatedly.

angry-sex-tipOh your partner is a darling, you say? No way to rile him or her up? Well, here’s an angry sex tip newsflash.

Well, fuck that. Pick a fight. Steal his dinner. Lock her out. Forget to pick her up. Bring the neighbor’s panties into the apartment by accident from the laundry room. Yell at your partner in public (that might lead not only to hate sex, but to public sex, throw in a voyeur or two and you have the trifecta).

Couples say that angry sex brings out the primal beast inside them and makes the sex hotter than hell, so give it a try. Now fuck off and fuck.

 

 

 

Next sex tip: How to Make Homemade Porn

Previous Sex Tip: Properly Warming Up An Ass

 

Choose your own SEXcapade Mash Up Piece: G-strung | Choose your own kink | #LPRTG

CHOOSE YOUR OWN SEXCAPADE™ is a pulpy erotic read about you and for you in which you can choose what happens next

Instructions: 

Just go ahead and read “G-strung’s Custard Parade – A Choose Your Own Kink SEXCapade” as you would any other book but when the main character “you” is left with some choices click the link to the choice you would most likely choose and then follow to the next part. If a choice you would love to make is missing, let me know in the comments below and I’ll scribble it down. This is an extensive, labyrinthine preview. The only way to read the ending is to Click here to Order the Complete Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade by Moctezuma Johnson on Amazon for only $2.99. Let’s begin, huh? It’s all about YOU. What are you about to do? Let’s find out. 

PRE-ORDER

Sorry, Choose Your Own Kink was released ages ago. However, click the Pre-Order link to join the smutpunk mailing list to get updates on new releases, many of which will be free or discounted. Puedes comprar Elige Tu Propia y Sucia Escapada en Español tambien. 

G-strung’s Custard Parade

Your dick is out in your hand. It’s big but not fully hard. You know you have a big dick because when you’re not hard all the excess skin that will stretch out when the hormones fire and the blood flows is bunched up from under the mushroom head all the way back to the root, where the balls hang out like steroid-laced raisins. You pull the mushroom head and all that bunched up skin stretches. The blood is starting to flow. That’s because of who lies in front of you.

G-strung, as you all called her, was paid beforehand (they said) and lying face down on the white tile floor with her brown skin tight, taut, and hella fine. She was lying face down with her head in her hands. She was kicking her toes into the floor and laughing into her hands. She was cute a pink glittery button. No joke. She was. Her smile was the shit poets write about when sober. Her ass cheeks were two scoops of chocolate ice cream. If god gave out sample of her ass in little pink plastic spoons, damn, god would be popular. I don’t mean this American right wing popular I mean there would be lines trying to get in like heaven was a Haagen Dazs on a humid August day in Brooklyn. G-string was making a giggling and whining sound at the same time. The walls were white. She was feeling like she was in an insane asylum. She was kicking her toes into the ground like she couldn’t take it anymore. You thought she may have been cold, or too stoned. You looked down on her, not because she was brown and you were white. You were no racist and had dated Asians, Latinas, and other races, religions, and groupies for rival bands and sports teams before. You were open minded. They said you’d fuck anything with a pulse. You were that type, they said. They called you Sticky Rice, cause you liked Asian Chicks and admittedly jerked off rampantly. You were proud of it. Porn wasn’t something you hid. Anyway, although it wasn’t pejorative you did look down on G-strung. You looked down on her because she was lying on the floor with her beautiful ass smiling at you and you were standing over her. You had to look down at her. Now, you had to decide what to do next. You had choices. She was already paid, they assured you, and all yours. You had to take her. You could take her any which way you wanted. They say the world is your oyster, right? She was your clam. Here were your choices:

 

Choose your own SEXcapade © 2015 by Moctezuma Johnson 

*note – this is kind of a work in progress, any ‘sorry’ links will go live little by little (have patience with me, this was a huge undertaking! lol)

One Poem for Wes & Alanna | by MoJo || #PoetForHire #LPRTG #AnalPoem

 

Her name is Alanna

 

Alanna wants Wes to attack

smack ass, cup the hand so

it’s more thwack than smack

but smack it firm

thwack her red

reach back and glob

S. Punk Butter on

 

glob it on her crack real good

glob it on her anus, you should

 

rub your dick the jar, Wes

let the S.Punk Butter grow ’round your pole

like a strange fluorescent moss

around your abandoned flag pole

 

2.

Now, you strike your cock up her darkest wormhole, right?

Now, your dick will move to another multiverse, right

Now, you and Alanna switch, her asshole is your dick and vice versa devoid of device

you’re the one getting torn now by Alanna’s massive mongoloid pink pole

half unicorn horn half vibrating device of vice

 

half myth jelly dong half magic wand

tamed here bent over couch

babbling Japanese you never knew she/you spoke

you pummel you loose

until your balls smash your own cunt lips

you’re everywhere now

turning rainbow colored where anus flesh melds with cock meat

a kinetic karma kool-aid kitsch

 

your out of body and in body

retreating back to you

you reach down and finger

her lonely wide open cunt hole

her lips are peeled to either side flapping like a flag in the wind, that needy bitch

her asshole is sealed with your big dick

she grunts like an early morning howler monkey

that moo-growl of the hairy rooster

that moo-growl of girl sodomized for the very first time

half shriek and half purr

she’s that side of anal bliss

she’s this side of orgasm

squirting mucous and piss from her cunt

squirting like a porn star as you shoot your jizz up her asshole

crossing this universe to that

in one smutpunk’d cosmic voyage

she’s your anal washing machine and you’re her lint catcher

or is that vice versa? and who’s going to fuck Alanna’s empty cunt and nut in her?

Next!

 the dryer sets fire

alarm bells ring