Enter the Giveaway: Scandalous Reads featuring Dr. Smutpunk

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Enter the Giveaway:

STUFF YOUR E-READER with Scandalous Stocking Stuffers
Wednesday, December 7, 2016!

50 FREE books and $0.99 BARGAINS
Plus Last Chance to WIN a $450 Amazon Gift Card.
Just answer one simple question when you enter the giveaway.

By sharing about the giveaway on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or Linked In –
you increase your chance to win!

Enter the giveaway here.

No purchase necessary to win. Void where prohibited.
Contest ends December 7, 2016. Winner will be notified on December 8, 2016.
*** By entering this competition contestants agree to subscribe to receive news from
​Scandalous Reads, CPM Books, and the following sponsoring authors:
Allyson Lindt, Angela Kay Austin, Anita Philmar, Ashe Barker, Carmen Fox, Caitlyn Lynch,
Cherime MacFarlane, Dariel Raye, Demelza Carlton, Diane Rinella, Eden Summers, Élianne Adams,
Elli Everson, Eva Lefoy, Ines Johnson, Iona Findley, LaVerne Thompson, Lilah E. Noir, Maggie Carpenter,
Marie Tuhart, Melissa Stevens, Miranda Lynn, Moctezuma Johnson, Monica Corwin, Muffy Wilson,
Nikky Kaye, Normandie Alleman, Robin Stone, Rosalie Redd, Wendy Lynn Clark***

Mailing List: Subscribe to Moctezuma Johnson’s SMUTPUNK Site by Email

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Homemade Porn – Sex Tip No. 5 – Camera Placement for Home Porn

homemade-porn

Sex Tip #5

Homemade Porn Secrets Revealed

CAMERA PLACEMENT: HOW TO MAKE A PORN VIDEO

Skullfucking | Jizzing on tits/face | Slapping Sluts with Cock | Gaping

homemade-porn

Click the Ass for Butt Blug Erotica

  1. first get yourself a slut, pig, or slave
  2. then you must think about camera placement
  3. film her from many angles for short periods of time
  4. use short clips about 20 to 30 seconds at a time (no more than a minute)
  5. Use the iPhone’s iMovie trailer to organize your homemade porn into an awesome personal porn opus (no, seriously, this is a fucking great idea!)
CAMERA PLACEMENT
  1. Before starting your own home porn movie, have her model a bit
    • her with clothes answering questions
      • name?
      • first time on video?
      • like cum?
      • like blowing dudes?
      • like big cock?
      • are you going to suck my big cock?
      • will you give me your ass today?
      • are you a slut? pig? slave? ugly whore?
      • do you have a boyfriend?
  1. For shooting a homemade porn blowjob there are a few positions.
    • the knees (guy standing):
      1. You can shoot up to down on the tripod.
      2. Or you can go down to up.
      3. You can shoot from the side, most common,
      4. or through the guy’s legs—which features the girl’s tits.
      5. shoot for the side but down to up
      6. and shoot from far away
      7. she can hold it up to down, side to side, down to up
  1. the knees (guy sitting)
  2. straddling her
    • remember to…

      1. gag her
      2. make her bob up and down fast
      3. skullfuck her
      4. put cock into her cheek
      5. slap her face
      6. jizz on her face
  1. For shots of straight sex in your homemade porn, there are also a few ideas.
    1. missionary
      • first person view
      • from the side
      • from behind her, she must hold the camera
    1. her doggy style
      • shoot down to up from behind
      • shoot from in front while fish-hooking her
      • shoot from far away, side or ¾
      • first person, yank her hair
      • remember to…
        1. fishhook her
        2. yank her hair
        3. step on her head
        4. pour lube on her ass while doing her and then
        5. switch to from cunt to ass
        6. slap her ass cheeks
    1. cowgirl
      1. first person, tits and face
      2. facing the couch to shoot your ass
        1. spread it open with hands
      1. side
      2. fuck her ass
    1. her on her side
      1. camera over her
      2. camera facing her head and tits
      3. camera facing her ass
    1. her pretzeled
      1. placed over her shooting down from somewhat of a distance
    1. cumshot
      1. her facing cock and camera
      2. camera high and side,
      3. film all the cum on her after you finish
      4. make her suck more after
      5. have her hold the camera facing the cock and face
      6. get up close to see the cumshot

IDEAS

check to make sure you complete these:

  • Make her blow you for a while.
  • Slap her with your cock
  • make her smile while you slap her with cock even though she won’t really like it
  • Make her bend over so you can shoot that asshole
  • Have her say she’s
    • a slut
    • a slave
    • a whore
    • a pig
  • if she complains, gag her with a bandana
  • Fuck her fat ass with the camera low and behind
  • Pour yogurt on her and make her blow you
  • piss on her
  • bind her hands
  • cut her clothes

This is just an intro

There are tons of other ideas. These are just the basics, but they are a good start for porn amateurs. The key is to shoot lots of short scenes. Then get on iMovie (I recommend as a trailer) and paste these scenes in and you’ll get quite a high-octane little highlight show to give you hours of jerking and jilling pleasure. Enjoy! Remember to send me your creations. Don’t worry, it’s just art. So I won’t tell anybody.

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Previous Tip: Angry Sex

Next Tip: Roleplay

Buy Emme Hor’s Books: Asian SMUTPUNKist is a must-read

buy-emme-hors-books

Buy Emme Hor’s Books right here on the MJ and Emme Smutpunk Site.

You can check out SMUTPUNK on SKATES which is always free on this site, or go over to Amazon where I Am Not a Whore, At Least Not Yet is permafree.

Besides the free books, Emme has many affordable books for you to enjoy. She’s finishing up the Smutpunk on Skates Bundle (four books) that you will be able to enjoy in one inexpensive book, rather than buying four separate titles.

Learn more about Emme Hor and, of course, buy her work.

Dildogeddon – Learn how to protect yourself

dildogeddon

Dildogeddon — What the heck is that?

Well, you’ve probably heard of the pornapocalypse, the desire of almost all medias to rid themselves of vile adult content. Even twitter is on the anti-porn train recently. Ugh. Why? What’s with puritan America trying to tell all of us what to do. I don’t like it at all. Not one little bit.

Now, dildogeddon is the attack of earth by alien forces. These aliens aren’t the regular aliens with big green heads who violate lonely humans on motherships, nope, these are sentient alien dildos that reproduce when united with Earthling cum. It’s a funny, schlocky B-movie, campy book by Moctezuma Johnson. It’s also a metaphor for how all this conservatism from American evangelicals to Islamic Fundamentalists is just totally bat-shit fucking crazy.

Read the Triangulum Stain Series for more.

Dildogeddon – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos

The Five HiveThe Battle for Alien Relish

Note from MJ about Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired

Note from Author:

Bundle-Humiliation-Backfired-Moctezuma-Johnson2

The Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired series is essentially a memoir classified as fiction to protect those involved and to add a little bit extra to the story. Many of the things you will read about did, in fact, happen. This is a tale of an obsessive girlfriend going from being a little cute but clingy to totally psychotic and quite dangerous. The series occurs in breathtaking locations. The series includes drug use, mind control, enslaving, sex with royalty, tentacle sex, lesbians, and pop stars. When you’re done, tell me what you think. If you’re looking for a vanilla erotica romance, do NOT read. This is most definitely not for you. If you want SMUTPUNK to lead you toward the rabbit hole and then when you’re least expecting it shove a jet pack on you and slam you into it, then you’re in the right place. Close the curtains, grab your toys, and turn on your eReader, your body, and your mind!

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars” –Oscar Wilde

Cheers,

MJ

ps: Please leave a short review after you’ve read it.

pps: thanks to Kat Crimson for the artwork. Authors, feel free to download the “Plea for Reviews” image and use in the back of your books, on social media, and on your blogs to get the word out that we live and breathe for reviews.

 

The Doomsday Clock

 

The Doomsday Clock is minutes from the hour thanks Dildogeddon and the halt to production of Alien Relish.

In Episode One of the Triangulum Stain – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos the Five Hive have to deal with Dildogeddon, which nudges the Doomsday Clock ever close to the hour. In Episode Two, the Battle for Alien Relish, the Five Hive is back because they did their job so well in the first episode that lust, which emanates from planet M69 (aka Alien Relish), is dying. Find out how and why lust is dying and what the Five Hive want to do to fix it.

TriangulumStainDoomsdayClockFFFMoctezumaJohnsonSmutpunk

 

 

Meet the Five Hive (aka Fuck Force Five) by clicking the book

fuckforcefive_mockup

 

 

 

These Women in Black

are incredibly sexy and skilled

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Bullshit Bulletin #7 @MJKingOfErotica #LPRTG #EARTG @horbooks

There has been a significant rise in the number of LPRTG Newsletter followers. Thank you to all the new recruits.

For those of you considering joining, consider this:

WE WANT YOU! WE WANT YOU! WE WANT YOU AS A NEW RECRUIT

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This Site

The other awesome success has been the rise in people buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for our books while the author gets the entire profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you.

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Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade

What's with the feet?

What’s with the feet? Click the heels to buy the book!

Of course, the nude new news for MJ fans is that he’s crawled out from under a rock to pen the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade and is about to drop a How To book that will blow your fucking minds. It’s kind of my version of Callie Press’s How To Give Good Head. As you know, women kind of suck at giving head except for a few blesséd souls.

This one is about you. And, hot damn, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. What? Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.

Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!

Do you hear that? Right in the peripheral of your brain. Yes that. Like audio ghosts. What the…? What is that? Is that what I think it is, baby? Callie? Emme? Genevieve? Mama? Is that the funk? The Flashlight? the Mothership? How’s your Funk? la da da di da da da da da da da. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam! 

How’s your Funk-Entelechy? Me? Well, I’m known as lollipop man, aka the long-haired sucker, so not to0 funkin’ bad. Why are there stars in your eyes? All the better to funk you with.

Bernie Worrell, Dr. Woo, RIP, my funk brotha!

I was lucky enough to see Dr. Woo play over thirty times at various locations from small supper clubs to big concert halls. I was also given the amazing moment of meeting the band and chatting with them for hours, which I’ll obviously never forget. This man truly changed my life. Y’all may not know, some of you do, that I moonlight as a funk brother playing drums, keyboard, guitar, and bass depending on the funk. In fact, I didn’t have eyes on writing at all when I was younger. I was music all the way. If you’d like to know the truth, ask away. Until then, i’ll leave it shrouded in mystery. Listen to one of the greatest keyboard players to ever touch the planet Earth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tL8shj6yx0 – Very cool jam with even the audience involved

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Anything else to report these days? If so, let me know.

Ooh Ooh, nerdy girl editing by Jenn, the ex-Disney star. Try her out. She did the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapades. She’s a genius. Any mistakes are mine, not hers. I’m the one who can’t edit worth shit. Click the link and see what she offers. Mention my name when you do.

And the last thing is there are a lot of new poems on this site by both me and my new super-crush Genevieve Greene.

 

A parting tweet to enjoy:

Poem: Did her in the Parking Lot

i did her in the car
in the parking lot
in the basement
of the tower i live in

in the shadows
in a remote parking space
under the supermarket
in the shadows

i did her in the car
first she blew me
from the passenger side
leaning over by the steering wheel

then she blew me out
the window
i stood next to the car
pumped her mouth

then she got in
that delicious slut
her ass alone
hanging out the window

it was surreal to see ass
hanging out the window of my car
supple porcelain ass
i photographed it hanging

like a dog desperate for some air
i did her hard, drilling
my monster cock into her hole
until she shook and called out my name

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