Smutpunk on Skates Cover Reveal and Pre-Order – Now It’s Live

smutpunk-on-skates

Smutpunk on Skates Cover Reveal. Order Now It’s Live!

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Book Description

Heather is a lovely young lady.

No, not really.

Heather is a hot Asian chick who has a thing for roller-skates and yoga pants. She’s also obsessed with white dicks and dominant men. All she wants is the ‘one that got away, but not everything is as it seems. Some kinky fuckery is underfoot. Games are being played. Heather will have to wage a new kink-chemical-pussy-warfare to empower her inner Queen Bitch.

Who’s the player? And who’s being played? That remains to be seen.

Get a ring-side view of Heather’s heart panties and her spinning glittery roller-skates.

Let the games begin.

NOTE: This book has all the taboo fun you’ve come to expect from smutpunk erotica. It features humiliation, cuckolding, roller-skates, exercise, diet and fitness, menage, raceplay, MILFs, and roleplay.

Pulp Covers: SMUTPUNK on Skates (aka The Butt Plug Blues)

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Pulp Covers: SMUTPUNK on Skates (aka The Butt Plug Blues, Romance on Roller-Skates) by Emme Hor

skull-candy-roller-skates-smutpunk1. Asian SMUTPUNK Book One: Romance with Skull Candy & Roller-Skates

RomanceAlphaBillionaire20012. Romance with the Alpha Billionaire

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3. Smutpunk On Skates Romance

 

TrashChute1997

4. Throwing Roller-Skates in the Trash Chute

SMUTPUNKon-Skates-roller-emme-hor7

5. The Bundle of Books 1-4

emme-hor-first-lady-of-smutpunk

These four books take readers to Malaysia and give you an exotic, sexy taste of Asian Smutpunk. Click to get all four of these books or one inexpensive bundle. Emme is known as the First Lady of Smutpunk, the Asian Smutpunk, and wife of Moctezuma Johnson. She spends her time mixing perfumes for a well-known designer and enjoys writing as her downtime. Whether or not she took a bukkake when younger can be neither confirmed nor denied.

Mailing List: Subscribe to Moctezuma Johnson’s SMUTPUNK Site by Email

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Buy Emme Hor’s Books: Asian SMUTPUNKist is a must-read

buy-emme-hors-books

Buy Emme Hor’s Books right here on the MJ and Emme Smutpunk Site.

You can check out SMUTPUNK on SKATES which is always free on this site, or go over to Amazon where I Am Not a Whore, At Least Not Yet is permafree.

Besides the free books, Emme has many affordable books for you to enjoy. She’s finishing up the Smutpunk on Skates Bundle (four books) that you will be able to enjoy in one inexpensive book, rather than buying four separate titles.

Learn more about Emme Hor and, of course, buy her work.

The Romance on Roller-Skates Series by Emme Hor @horbooks #MrBrtg #LPRTG

Love Office Chicks in Compromising Positions? Of course you do! Try more with Emme Hor’s Romance on Rollerskates Series

47_vibrator_orgasm

 

ROMANCE with SKULL CANDY and BRAND NEW SKATES

ROMANCE on ROLLER-SKATES

SMUTPUNK on SKATES

THROWING ROLLER-SKATES IN THE TRASH CHUTE 

 

SMUTPUNK Kimchi Squat

Malaysian Big Tit Sexy Roller Skate Erotica by Emme Hor, the Asian SMUTPUNKist

KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA — 19 MAY 2016 — Insiders are calling this series the Butt Plug Blues (title totally leaked by Moctezuma Johnson, retired smutpunk author) and singing it’s silly, sexy, smutpunkie praises. In each episode an Alpha Male leads Heather to end up with a butt plug up her ass. Somehow she’s always in micro-mini skirts or tight yoga pants and roller-skates. Can this Asian chick be any sexier? Well, the Alpha Male known as ‘That Fucker’ seems to think she can because he’s got a bevy of other girls’ anus’ butt plugs on display in his office on THE BUTT PLUG MANTLE. This cruel alpha, Heather’s boyfriend when the story starts, is out of control. HE’s so bad that Heather’s MILF mother Lana has to step in and help.

It all leads to a massive CLIMAX featuring BUTT PLUGS, ROLLER-SKATES, SKULL CANDY and much much much much smutpunkedly much MORE.

Bullsh*t Bulletin #6

Smutpunk’d by the Alpha FUTA –  Bullshit Bulletin #6

by San Esperma de Desgracia

 

Is it already the Bullshit Bulletin No. 6? That can’t be fucking right, can it? Six? It feels like yesterday that I decided to start writing these. Huh!

 

 

Emme’s singin’ the Buttplug Blues agian. <Robert Plant riffing while stoned out of his mind singing Blazed & Cum-fused by MoJo> Lot’s of asses plugged, but few of them know that the butt of a woman was created below.

Times are hard. Hard as cock. SMUTPUNKED ON SKATES is the sequel to sequel to That Fucker, who gets skated by again and again and is ready with a trophy mantel of   B _ T T   _ L _ G S (would you like to buy a vowel from Vanha? Yes, a “U”. There are two “U”s). Heather’s mother is here to help this time. And everyone knows there’s no lovin’ like the lovin’ of yo mama! There’s also nothing better to muck everything up way worse than it was mucked up in the first place. The Buttplug Blues becomes Mama’s Blues.

Have you met the women of Fuck Force Five, the Five Hive, yet? If you haven’t please introduce yourself here.

 

Subscribe to the SMUTPUNK Mailer, please — Free Sex and/or Lip Balm is promised†

Put your email address in the box to the right to subscribe to the SMUTPUNK mailer. Thank you.

Put your email address in the box to the right to subscribe to the SMUTPUNK mailer. Thank you.

LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT (if you’re on a computer, no idea where if you’re on another device, somewhere) and subscribe to this site to get notifications of new blog posts. If you’re a writer I’ll be sure to promote your shit, if you’re a reader it means you’ll get free promoted shit. Who wants a FREE SMUTPUNKED ON SKATES? Let me know by email, cute little puppies)

[[INSERT CUTE ARROWY IMAGE HERE >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]]

It’s called iPick-Up. It’s where you SUBSCRIBE to this website to get your SMUTPUNK fix. Everybody needs her smutpunk or your cunt will go dry. Them’s the breaks. It cures bad breath, alien virus, and asthma. So type in your email thingy and let me stuff your box full of s.punk.

 

Some Friends Doing Great Things:

Callie Press (aka Queen Kegel) has gotten some really good reviews for her SMASH HIT  [amazon text=Erotic Pulp #1 – The SMUTPUNK Reader&asin=B01CLX8U46]. See her interview with Brixton Atwood.

I want to introduce a new friend and awesome tweeter and writer. Find more about this genius brain at @MzPatchouli. She has one of the best websites I’ve seen from a writer. It’s elegant by design and thoughtful by, well, design. Just do yourself a favor and check it out.

 

MILKING TITTIES

MILKED BY THE YETI. Looks like Callie and I have forgotten to write a new piece, between Sarchasmo and FitMan and BurpeeGirl it’s hard to find time between sets of rough BJ Burpees to see what Milky Russian tits are up to. The old titties are still completely free. They won’t be free for long as Assazon wants to charge for all titties, whether Russian or Not. Milked by a Yeti or Not. I don’t set the rules. I just obediently play by them.

Anyway, don’t forget to stay up to date with Milked by the Yeti at literaryporn.net. Big hairy changes are around the Himalayan corner. 

You haven’t heard of MILKED BY THE YETI? Do you live under a rock? Well, get yourself a quick one-minute taste at xvideos.com’s trailer of Natasha and Lena in Milked by the Yeti. Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. Thank you. I made it, so I could really use the encouragement.

 

Blog Tours & Twitter

Is anybody doing a blog tour or anything because I’m up for hosting a stop. I don’t really even know what that means, but I’d like to try being a host and finding out.

In Twitter news, authors keep blastin out tweets lauding their own books. I do it too, but man I’m getting bored of it. It kind of feels like all of twitter has become bot-territory.

In other Twitter news, dudes keep sending photos of their dicks. I don’t really get that much, but hear from the WPW Nymphettes that it’s pretty rampant. They pretty much think that because you’re a writer of erotica you’re a whore. I’m pretty much as obviously male as Big John Slade, so the ones that send to me with love from India are clearly gay (Mental Note: consider this when marketing toward the sub-continent). I’m going with something alone the lines of “My White Co-Worker Made me a Bollywood Cuckold by Whoring Out My Wife” or something to that effect.

I had something else to say, but it’s gone. I think it was a rant. I have that feeling in my gut. The rant feeling. Ah yes, this business from FaceBook:

Moctezuma Johnson I got into a pretty pretty pretty interesting discussion with Ashlee Shades and others on Naya’s post.

There has been lots of criticism (from me) about the fact that a lot of indie writing is fully baked. Sometimes the editing is bad, the plots aren’t well-, well, plotted, and the covers are crappy and even contain errors. I’ve been pretty lenient on the review end of things but the truth is the Zon makes anybody who can type with their thumb on a phone feel like an epicurean capable of doling out Michelin stars to the world’s greatest bistros. They’re not. The first and most essential thing they miss is basic common courtesy. Professional reviewrs have etiquette, even when they loathe something. If they don’t, they don’t last in the industry. A lot of my fellow writers are asking Zon to stop allowing people to read a whole book and then return it. Personally, I don’t care about those clergy members who get riddled with guilt after my sentient dildos made them cum and have to wash away the guilt by returning the book before another clergy member sees it, reads it, and—GASP!—enjoys it.  If you want your $0.35 back, go for it you cheap guilty bastard.

The thing that absolutely bakes my noodle is how someone will read 3% of my book and then say they don’t like it. That’s like smelling a bowl of pasta and saying, “I hate Italian cooking.” That’s not a review. I don’t think that should be allowed. Reviews help/hurt sales. But let’s not get me into a rant. I know lots of us have this phenomenon. You work for weeks or months on your baby and then get a one word “awful” with one star from someone who didn’t even have the etiquette to read the thing they are trashing. WTF? How is that allowed? I’m pasting a strangely burnt version of said review. It appears this rocket scientist’s review has suffered in a raging attack of SMUTPUNK arson. No idea how that happened. Callie Press? any ideas? <whistles “Forgot About Dre” while strolling away peacefully> Basically my overall, main arc of a point is that I’m more saying STOP THE BULLSH*T, but I think it’s kind of case by case, so overall I say let these brain surgeons do what they like to do, whether it’s buy and return not read yet review, etc. All of their shenanigans lead to sales movement, publicity, and are ultimately good for the author. I’ve seen theft in my day job, I’m talking hundreds of thousands of dollars, so forgive me but $0.35 isn’t really on my radar as theft. It’s more bad etiquette. The cops callcar robbery “Grand Theft Auto” because the numbers (in most states) are higher than a grand, otherwise, the police say, “f*ck it!, go read the new one by 1- and 5-star king Moctezuma Johnson” 

 

Shitty Reviewer

Was this review burned? How did that happen? There’s been a lot of criticism about indie authors. Well, the indie reviewers ain’t so damn great either. Take the lovely “Miss Sha Sha” bet she’d do book reports without reading the book while flunking grade school. I’m glad this type of person doesn’t “get” my books. Good riddance!

See writers you must know

 

Poet for Hire

Moctezuma's SMUTPUNK'd abs is a poet for hire

Click the abs to hire today^^

Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you click below and buy. You can request the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse. Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Great for holidays! Comes with or without images! Get your own personalized SMUTPUNK poem.

Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular

 

Got something important to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia

 

 

 

Get a quick Poem:

“I’ve sprung

your frankfurter from

its bun”

Notes:
†To those over 357 years old

The Bullshit Bulletin #4 – #LPRTG #SSRTG #NSFW

Well, it’s already been a weird month. Tuesday I released three books in a day, Dump The Futa President (Making America Great Again, Ese), Romancing the Hot Stone, and The Nose. I’m also about to drop a Steak and BJ Day Bundle. I had to get in on the Trump Parody craze but ended up writing an attack of American Politics in general, not specifically against Trump. I guess I relate to Trump supporters in the sense that they, like Sanders supporters, think the system is so fucked up it needs a jolt. We just don’t remotely agree what the jolt should be. Anyway, I don’t want to get into a political debate, I just had to hop on the bandwagon and smutpunk the shit out of the presidential parody.

Callie Press, who also dropped a presidential parody called [amazon text=Tonguing Tromp&asin=B01BJ7OSLO], is on the verge of completing her very creative Erotic Pulp, which I can’t wait to read.

Regarding the names, Callie went with Domald Tromp. I went with Tronald Dump. She went with Clitin. I stole Kat Crimson’s Clitskin.

SmutpunkButtonR.B. O’Brien was a guest on the Blog Tour Bus Stop. It’s was always going to be hard to top Linzi Basset’s interview, the Nabokov of Erotica but RB did a great job and got a lot of comments, which is cool. R.B. was also a good sport about answering questions such as what’s your stance on getting dick pics and do you write naked on a dildo’d chair.

Check out lots of great writing at shelbykentstewart.com

Don’t forget to stay up to date with Milked by the Yeti at literaryporn.net

You haven’t heard of MILKED BY THE YETI? Do you live under a rock? Well, get yourself a quick one-minute taste at xvideos.com’s trailer of Natasha and Lena in Milked by the Yeti.Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. Thank you. I made it, so I could really use the encouragement.
buttplugblues

Click the Butt Plug to Visit the Book Page

The SMUTPUNK lexicon is being edited now as you read. That promises to be noteworthy. If you have any words to add, please let me know.

Emme Hor put out a new book with my crappy editing. It’s called Romance on Rollerskates. If you love butt plugs then this is a MUST-READ. You should read it even if you don’t like butt plugs but you’re simply interested in Malaysian (sex) culture. There are mosques, roller skates, and kopi tarik (stretched Malay-style coffee, yum). There’s an alpha male, I think he’s a billionaire, I forget, and a hot little Chindian-Malay sex pot. There’s always a sex pot, isn’t there? It features a facial, anal, and rollerskating. What’s not to love?

SMUTPUNK is new but gaining a bit of steam. Hopefully, we will get some more traction going forward.

Remember to notice that the HEART SHAPED ASS is just an ass upside down (see right if in doubt).

Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone!

Of course you already know that July Cumming (the dungeon doctor) is awesome. If you need a reminder or have been living under a dirty rock, then check out her exxxcerpts on the MJ site.

It’s your last chance to get a Valentine’s Day Poem written for you. I wrote two poems for Sherri Clark, who you may know as the Ardent Rose. Click the link to her name to have a look. If you want one, hire me now before it’s too late!

Take advantage of this great service:

Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you buy the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse. Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Buy today, guaranteed delivery on Valentine’s Day (plan ahead)!

Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular

Got something important to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia

Excerpt “The Whore Awakens” from I Am Not a Whore, Am I? (very doubting intonation) || #LPRTG #EARTG #MrBrtg #SSRTG #Asian Very Trashy Artwork, NSFW

I Am Not a Whore, Am I?

The Whore Awakens

by Emme Hor

A bit of backstory: the first part of the Confessions of a WHore series I Am Not a Whore, At Least Not Yet! finishes with Brittany having dirty thoughts constantly to the point that she takes up her lesbian co-worker on the offer for a little fun. She decides her and her boyfriend need to get out of the rut and they fly to Bangkok for a vacation. Brittany, enjoying the sites and the fruit thoroughly is in the middle of a lovely daydream when a guy mistakes her for a professional and solicits her. 

With my hand full of money, I walked up to him and gave it to him. “I’m not a whore.”

I could smell bleach coming from the bathrooms and jasmine from the flowers hung on these wooden walls. A strange mix. His strong cologne smell had faded but was still there as a leftover musk.

“Okay,” he said and stared at my chest. I looked up into his eyes and realized for the first time that he had beautiful blue eyes even though he was mostly dark-skinned. The eyes were not the eyes of a fiend but they were fully on my tits and I looked down to find my nipples rock hard. It had to be the fear and anger. It had to be. This handsome man no longer seemed like a crazy maniac but more of a sex maniac. He wanted me badly. It was written all over him. It was kind of crazy to be so wanted, like he couldn’t control himself. My ego was flattered. He was staring into my tits so hard that I wanted to cover up, to melt, to disappear. It was too much. “I have a boyfriend. He’s around here.”

He reached out and grabbed my left breast over the tank top. There was no force that could stop this man. My big, sexy Asian body was driving him nuts.

“What the fuck?” I said. It shouldn’t have felt so good but it felt fucking great to be groped by this pushy prince. Still, I had morals and pushed his hand off of me. I wish Neil would have done this to me last night while I was dying of loneliness.

With his other hand this blue-eyed prince slipped the wad of bills into the waistline of my jean-skirt. “Keep it,” he said. “Now. Kneel down.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” I said harnessing all the bad-ass attitude I had learned in America and turned to leave. I had a big smirk. The audacity!

He grabbed my neck hard and thus my inflated ego was in his hand. He spun me around. In one motion he threw the straps of my tank top from my shoulders and exposed my tits. Before I could react he had both my shoulders in his powerful hands and shoved me down to my knees where his cock was waiting hard and out of his shorts. Before I could be sure what was happening, his dick found its way into my mouth until his massive mushroom cockhead was banging into my tonsils. I was so scared that I kind of gulped down my fear and ended up swallowing his massive meat completely into my throat like an accidental pro.

There I was with his money in my waistband and my pale tits out and his giant cock in my throat. He grabbed my head and drilled his cock deeper and deeper till my nose was on his fucking pelvis bone and my jaw was sore.

There was no way I was going to suck some stranger’s cock in public.

“Eat my big cock, you spoiled little brat,” he said and started to pinch a nipple with one hand while still holding my skull in place with his big, strong hands and fucking my face like I was a sex doll. I had never been used like this before. My pussy got sopping wet—maybe it was the heat or the fear—and my nipples were hard. Also, strangely, I was easily able to take his massive cock that had to be three or four inches bigger than my boyfriend’s dick. It slid right in and out of my throat, no gagging. I usually gag on my boyfriend’s. What the fuck? Was I meant for this? Was I really a whore? I took it balls to chin. And I loved it. I started to get into it, even milking the shaft with my throat muscles. Maybe I was a pro. I thought back to being ass-fucked all those years ago, the naughtiness was wonderful, and I was enveloped in that feeling again.

I would suck his cock here.

It was marvelous.

I felt a new set of hands take my arms and pull them back behind my back. Now I was kind of lurching forward while this big Arab cock devoured my esophagus. These hands were smooth and softer. I looked down and saw the clear heels. It was the fucking waitress, that fucking whore!aoi_yuuki_forced_face_fuck7_big

“Fuck this rude Korean bitch, Hassan,” she said in her nasal Thai voice.

“Yes, spin her around.”

My big Asian head was on the ground. Freshly cut grass tickled my nose and mouth. The clear-heeled whore was squatting on my upper back. Prince Hassan hoisted up my micro-skirt the whole half inch necessary to reveal my naturally hairless pussy. He moved my g-string to the side with his big cock.

I was anxious for cock in my cunt. This was fucked up and thus very exciting. This asshole turned out to actually be a handsome guy with a big, beautiful dick. In some way, I was the luckiest woman in Bangkok. All vacation I had wanted to have great sex and my boyfriend had been giving me a few thrusts and then conking out like a little bitch. I hated feeling like we were an old married couple. I wanted something exhilarating. It wasn’t with him, but I was getting it. This was a man. Real and undeniable. I wanted my cunt stuffed with his new, superior cock!

$.

(This is just the beginning. Read the entirety of I AM NOT A WHORE, AM I?)