They sometimes call it Alien Relish. Cum. Splooge. Jizz. Baby Batter. Nut Butter. Gorilla Glue.

You had poured the custard right over her asshole. You were trembling with excitement. Your cock was out and you were involuntarily stroking it while you had your CumOnG-Strung-SEXcapadeface buried in her solid ass cheeks. As soon as you saw the custard hit her asshole you couldn’t contain it. Your splooge jettisoned out of your cylindrical cock like a missile firing from a submarine.  Your jizz mixed with the custard making a kind of cum-custard bi bim bap. All of this was happening to you rather than by you. You were merely watching in awe as you buttered her custard covered ass with your nut sauce. Your cock was on fire. You were nearly in tears with desire and joy. G-strung was taking your cum shot all over her gorgeous ass. Today was everything you had asked for!

The End

The End | The Beginning

You (still) want to force G-strung

You want to go back in and rape G-Strung? You dirty cunt! No, we don’t condone rape here. MJ stories go pretty damn far but that’s one line never crossed. You never really wanted to force her anyway, not against her will. You respected her, her religion, her ideas, and eyed this redhead and her massive tits. Damn, they were the size of your head. You would go up and talk to her, right?

You still want to rape G-strung (this could catch you in a loop)

You will talk to the Redheaded Queen (this will be available in the Kindle Version Only. Sorry, folks. I’m a cunt and try to make enough money to pay my editors, illustrators, and hookers who jerk me off while i write. Please support!)

You throw the doe-eyed Korean chick up against a wall in the stairwell and bang her


One of the beautiful things about Korea is that the building have open entrances and you can get off the street and into the stairwell. Her miniskirt was so short you could see her ass cheeks as she walked upstairs. You threw the doe-eyed Korean chick up against the wall. Her arms and hair sprawled out as she got her balance. Your dick went up her pussy instantly. You held nothing back. Although she was a stranger, very tight, and calling you “oppa”, you continued to pound her as hard as you could. She was getting fucked brutally hard but seemed to enjoy it. She was moaning so loud people on the street were looking up toward the stairs. It was a busy street with posh cafes, gyms, and restaurants. Nice cars were parked haphazardly on the sidewalks. This cunt stretched over cock and was pleasured so deep she screamed. At this point, you couldn’t hold back and nutted right inside her against all common sense, better judgement, and sanity. You deposited your seed right up this chick and then buttoned back up and walked away without turning back. This would be a good story to tell for you, a real sexual feather in your cap, this would be a deeply locked secret for her, a sexual black eye.

The End

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Who do you choose? Asian or Ginger

There’s a yellow whore with long black hair and big doe eyes, a ginger chick with massive melons, and G-strung. What do you do?

Wait, what the fuck just happened. You were all into G-strung, romantically kissing and what not. Now what’s going on? Oh, your hormones, your sex drive, is running rampant. That makes sense. So you are walking the street like a hunter. You’re a caveman, scouring. Your eyes are darting. You see the sun, the skyscraper, the Hyundai, the girl on bicycle (nice ass!), the dude with the busted up teeth, and then you happen to see this skinny Korean chick in a miniskirt with legs like chopsticks or stilts that jam into her hips sexily with long flowing black hair and big seductive eyes and you want to stick your dick in her. You have that hungry wolf look and she senses it. You make eye contact. She senses that you want to devour her. You are prepared for her to look away while you visually-rape her, stuffing your big white dick into her tight wet Asian pussy. But she doesn’t look away. She’s not intimidated. She’s strong. In fact, she winks at you.

Now you feel like a little kid. You’re suddenly awkward. You don’t know what to do or say all of a sudden.

You look away. Across the street, you see two massive tits baked onto the never sun-kissed skin of a ginger tightly cleavaged. The woman on whom the tits are attached is wearing a gown with a slit showing her pale, supple leg. A corset pulls every ounce of her jiggly titties into a taut, tight rugged Victorian look. On her head, where she wears her red hair up in a bun that pulls every last stray hair away from her eyes, she wears a solid gold corona. What the fuck is this? Why is there a redheaded queen standing across the street?

You are ragingly horny. Which girl do you want to pursue…

the Asian?

the Redhead?

Go back to G-strung and refuse to take no for an answer




Standing on the Verge…

You were about to cum!

Ugh, mmphhhhh, fuck, yes!

Your jizz was rising, your balls were warm and had stirred the ocean milk already. You were set to explode. You could bust it up her tight little asshole and make her know that you owned her, or you could pull out and stain her face with it, mark the brown whore with your white seed, or you could shoot it onto her anus from the outside and make a cum pool in her dark hole. The options swam around your brain and you pumped your significantly large cock inside her tight asshole until you couldn’t hold it in any longer and you exploded right up inside her fucking asshole. Her asshole was pulsing from pleasure and it closed around your cock on all sides. G-strung clenched, and this enhanced your orgasm dramatically so that you called out, “Mama! Sweet Mama, Jesus was a black baby!” as you felt god and the universe course through your veins heavenly. You could feel the walls of her rectum swimming with your cum. You were inside your own sloppy cum pool up her ass. Your dick rested in a delicious anal primordial soup and you collapsed down on G-strung and kissed the back of her neck as you drifted off to sleep.

The End

Inevitable Conclusion of Choose your own Kink


No matter what you chose, you end up with the same basic conclusion. Life is hard and relationships never really work out. The only sensible thing to do is to buy a house in a mountain and not interact with another soul until you wither away and die and get eaten by your cats. But inevitably we try to get along with others, perhaps a husband or a wife or a family member and we end up fighting and not possessing the courage to really make any of this shit work. These are the breaks. So we SMUTPUNK. Cause united we stand, and unSMUTPUNK’d we fall.


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Option D: Lay on top of her and romantically kiss the back of her neck

Lay on top of her and romantically kiss the back of her neck 

You climb on top of her. “That feels so good honey. Gosh darn. If I wasn’t Allah’s honorable disciple I would let you ravage my pussy baby, but it’s best this way, it more romantic.” She really emphasized the word romantic disgustingly. “I could rape your ass at any time, hun. But I love you too much.” She giggled lovingly. You weren’t prudes. I mean, fuck. You were smart but just didn’t trust this world. You were different. You were raised in a different culture that demanded temperance. You were human and all sexed up and mostly expressed it through talking about it. You placed yourself so your dick was up her but crack, but you had on tighty whities and G-strung had on a g-string so you were all heavenly pure in that religious fanaticism kind of way that made your dick ultra-spiritually hard. Shit. You fit in G-strung’s crack perfectly and your pressure on her soft bulbous hardness felt insanely great. You could bake jizz cookies in her cunt oven you were so in love with her, but you would wait until it was god’s gracious goodness to gloriously, appropriately, and legally anally bake her chocolate cunt cookies. Instead of using your dick as a paddle in her cutely inappropriate cunt hole, you pressed your chest down onto her back without pushing too much weight onto her demure top half (how did this delicate torso hang onto that bad-ass booty of a bottom half, it was mathematically improbable), and buried your lips in her weave spread out over the nape of her neck like Hokkien noodles and kissed her tenderly until the hairs on her neck stood up. “Oh, honey, I love you. When we are married I will use my pussy like a washing machine over your cock. You’ll see. It will be the Kama Sutra’s Helicopter over the Congress of the Cow with a side of Splitting the Bamboo for you, baby.” You leaned forward and found her lips. You brushed some of her thick hair off her face and your tongues met and you French-kissed deeply. You were so on the verge of cumming. You could feel her engorged clit through the fabric between you. It was pulsing, trembling, a small sexual earthquake. She was humping the floor. You could just jizz so easily you thought of other things. You thought of pi, then of dirty toilets in the old train. Your orgasm subsided a tick, but it was still right there on the precipice. She climbed your tongue with an intense suction until she hung from the back of it, in your mouth, breathlessly. Then her hips stiffened. She went dead like a fish after it’s all flapped out. You increased the pressure of your cock in its undies in her ass crack and that released the cum-kracken. You spurted down her ass crack (in undies, of course. Safety first). “You’re the best,” she said and rocked until you fell off to the side of her and nuzzled up into her smelling her cocoa and coconut funk butter until you drifted off to sleep.

Unfortunately, not getting dick in pussy was making you go a bit mad. You couldn’t continue like this. You loved her but you needed sex. It was a biological fact. The more you thought about it the more you justified it to yourself. As you walked around town, every hot chick you saw was further proof that you would get yourself some ass by hook or by crook. You decided that she must feel the same way. In fact…

…you found that somebody else has devirgined her (Carter)

…you let someone else give you sex



Choose your own SEXcapade © 2015 by Moctezuma Johnson

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Shit, Carter fucked your girl | Yes, the one that was “saving herself” | Choose your own Kink

It’s Carter, that fucking asshole. You never liked the cunt since he stole that bike which was way too small for him and started to ride into you every day after school. Every day it was chicken, except your broke ass was walking and this Carter asshole was on this bike so small that his knees stuck out just to peddle the muhfucka. The girls liked him. He had those big latino eyes and hair shaved but never shaved. You know, like the fucker’s masculinity was just beating the razor. Even at 15 (not that he was fifteen now and we do not condone underaged sex or any sex) he was a man. Now, all the young students (university students you pervert) in their plaid little ultra-short skirts giggled when he rolled by. He handed out lollipops and even your girl, G-strung, she told you they called her that because her hormones had her so strung out since she had never had that RE-LEASE. She was saving herself. You would marry her. She wanted to be pure and wholesome and good and yours and wonderful and everything you desired and innocent. And she took Carter’s lollipop and popped it into her mouth and lolli lolli lolli it was so good that right there in the alley way, a real narrow space between two buildings, not Brownstones, but old tenements that had a small space so they could run some wires in the old days and now the wires running were G-strungs strong synapses flowing with urge, desire, and want as she sucked off Andrew Carter’s big brown lollipop right here where people could see. And her friends were selling G-Strung out by pointing, covering their mouths, giggling and you saw her there kneeling and his big hand on her head and her ass bobbing and her head bobbing up and down sucking his DICK. Then he turned her around and her face was in the brick of the house and her ass was up and he popped his dick into her pussy and he FUCKED your virgin girlfriend right there on the street.

You had two choices:

…Steal Carter’s bike and


…Go over there and confront her and him  

You want to confront that Alpha Male? Are you crazy?

Sorry, nice try, but who are you kidding? You were way too much of a big wet pussy terrified of confrontation for this bold option, so you just went home and cried and then visited “cuckold smutpunk” on google to make yourself feel better and landed here for all of us to laugh at, jeer, heckle, and ultimately purge of your deep pussy-ness in a cathartic re-constitution like the Mexican Vulture rising from the Flames. Reborn, karma cleaned.

And this is why you read. To grow. To open your minds. To get better. To improve. This is why you let Moctezuma Johnson SMUTPUNK you in the private confines of your own plush bedrooms while wrapped in lightly perfumed designer sheets. This is why you stare mouth agape at your mobile phones while riding the train commuting between crappy apartments and dead-end jobs to let Moctezuma gunge dopamine into your synaptic canals.

Choose Your Own SEXcapade © 2016 by Moctezuma Johnson

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Steal Carter’s bike and

Steal Carter’s bike and ride full speed right into that tiny little alley way so that the handlebars lodge in such a way that one rubber piece lodges itself exactly up the ass of G-strung and the other lodges itself right up the ass of Carter and the bike kind of hangs in midair, held in place by two assholes, with the slim rubber tires and peddles spinning still and something making that bike ‘ticking’ sound, while you rub your head and stare at this hilarious site that would be funnier if your virgin girlfriend’s pretty little pussy lips weren’t held open by your rival’s big dick.

At least you got over being a passive cunt yourself. You rode full speed and you chuckled at the site. You stood up, and walked away with your head held up high.

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