How to Suck Dick: Learn to Give Brain-anesthetizing Head

how-to-suck-dick

The Nitty Gritty: How to Suck Dick Well

Women all profess their amazing skills at sucking dick. Ask one why they think they are good and you hear answers like “I’ve never heard any complaints” or something to that effect. That is hardly roaring support, ladies. Kid yourself no more!

Find out YOUR dicksucking proficiency score here:

Men know the truth: less than 2% of women can really suck a dick like a pro. Chances are the girl with whom you’re speaking is a shit cocksucker and doesn’t even know it.

Here are some tips for women to learn to suck dick well, from a guys perspective. Print them out and post them on the refrigerator.

  1. Kneel, whore – position is key for ease and depth of cock-sucking, and for the visual pleasure of the dude. Also, you need to know that you’re here to swallow dick. So, understand this one unalienable fact: you’re a fucking whore. It’s not debatable. You’re here to suck dick. And dick you will suck. If you aren’t in the mood, then don’t bother.
  2. Wipe your ass with what Cosmo said – your sole aim to please and serve cock, so cut out all this kissing the tip, flicking your tongue over it, and nibbling and caressing. Get down to swallowing his big, hard, veiny meat.
  3. Lick the under the balls – lift those balls up with your hands and find the space between his asshole and where his dangling balls are attached to his body, bullseye. Now push into it with your tongue. If you don’t mind ass, lick that too (that will earn you BONUS points) and soon he will be bragging about how good in bed you are to his buddies and all of them will be hitting on you. Note: if they are not hitting on you, he’s not bragging.
  4. Swallow his dick – imagine you are French kissing him, but not on the mouth, on the dick. Enjoy it and let him ride your tongue straight down your throat.
  5. Nose to pubes & balls to lips – don’t just kneel there, swallow that dick. Get your nose to his pubes and your chin to his balls!
  6. Relax your throat – This is your mantra: swallow that dick. Repeat it to yourself. When the tip reaches the back of your throat, swallow. Don’t tense up or you’ll start gagging. Relax. Swallow. It will go down smoothly. Then let it up and breathe. Repeat.
    • Alternate PositionLay on the bed (or couch) and let your head hang off – this position allows him to face fuck you. You just concentrate on swallowing his dick while he goes to work.

Conclusion:

Depth is everything – If you swallow his whole cock, he will be obsessed with your mouth (and even the rest of you).

Those are the basics, which most women don’t possess. Just by reading this you’re ahead of the curve. Pat yourself on the back. Now, kneel in front of him and get to work. No more bullshit messing around with the head, scratching it with your teeth, sucking it like you’re vacuuming, and other nonsense that really doesn’t feel very good. Swallow that dick!

Girl Rocks Sucking Dick

Submit to your man and think about swallowing as deep as you can

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Feel free to post comments and ideas below. Thanks.

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Hear thoughts from 10 People on the First Time They Swallowed Jizz

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This has been the “How To Suck Dick” excerpt from The Sex Manual. If you’ve been following me for years, you know this series of blog posts was so popular that a lot of people implored me to make it into a book. Being the weak-minded sheep follower that I am, I acquiesced. Please buy your copy and show some support.

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A Secret Sensual Temple

Kama - Rati

Poem written for Divine Metamorphoses, a genius and a goddess

 

 

She’s this gorgeous woman

in a slip

riding a bike

not a TREK or some shit

a real bike

with style

a front wheel the size of Earth

the back wheel its satellite Moon

 

She’s trailing a dolphin and a clipper ship

attached by an umbilical cord

attached to her clit ring

 

she’s all dark and goth and trannys line up

in the background jerking off like a great

transgender

bukkake

while the free hand of each tranny touches the free breast

of the tranny besides him/her

 

and they jizz stardust that sizzles as it splatters

like bacon frying and popping like Syd Barrett singing

like Milos Raonic serving

his one greased strand of hair cascading onto his forehead

 

this divine creature peddles through the sky.

her legs go on forever

not a few feet or meters

forever like the difference

between the size of a pebble on a lake’s shore

and the size of the sun

 

she peddles with urgency

her brain is there enticing the trans-bukkake

to shoot ropes of interstellar jism

that spin with gravity and gravity

and like that

this cycling sky-nymph

paints galaxies

onto the never before known black canvas

the empty pin cushions

that come into unbeing and thus are

 

her slip is billowing

her black hair is a tornado behind her

smudging frigid errors

into blurry wet goodness

 

men, women, transgender

all point at this cycling goddess

all kneeling to her

 

the torso of a man

floats in front of her

waiting with a ballroom

gown

in front of a great disco ball sun

that shines fuckadelic

 

she hops off her cosmic bike

and the trannies’ sizzling celestial semen colors in his legs

DNA strands twirl in double helix dances

until she has made

he

hands her the gown

she strips off her slip

pale against the sky

all worship

her giant tits

her vast navel

her unbounded pussy

her juicy sidereal ass

 

he bites the umbilical cord

and frees her

from the dolphin and clipper ship

she puts on the gown

interlocks his fingers

and they dance

a perennial jig

stars swirling

her black hair a tornado

his blonde hair a whirlpool

his fit abs twitch

when she runs a finger at his neck

her nipples bloom

and flowers sprout underneath

their naked feet

then dissolve

 

he holds her neck

and they kiss

stardust swirls in their mouths

 

this is not drunk motel sex

this god and goddess

this is Eros and Aphrodite

this is Xochiquetzal and Bes

this is Enzo and Rati

 

her blowjob is eternal deep throat

 

this is not a bad-smelling purple jelly

this a red giant

parting her labia

his cock is lightyears

their simultaneous orgasm

is a Karmen vortex street

that shakes and swirls

they continue their ballroom dance

and suck each other’s essence

out of their lips and

and their lips’ throats

until she gives way again

and bends her cosmic asshole

this sodomy gives the Khajuraho

her delicate forms

gives Chennakesava its sensuality

 

his boundless cock

impales her as roughly as tenderly

she gives into him

and he melts into her

 

her immeasurable hole

takes every lightyear of him

they rip a chasm into the

pin cushion

 

light of a new universe

shines out

the holes in this current universe’s background

and something that wasn’t suddenly is

and in that new something they collapse

and have a post-coital nap

in each other’s arms

a new temple is being built

to house this new image

this divine metamorphoses

 

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Visit Divine Metamorphoses on Twitter to see incredible erotica

 

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Twitter Hashtag: About the #LPRTG @LiteraryPornRTG

Free-Erotica

What’s in a Twitter Hashtag? Which one is the best?

Phuket — 2014 I was originally blown away by the smarts of Tony Queef and his Erotic Hashtag until I realized he was a hashtag nazi and didn’t want your tag mixing with his tag. He couldn’t stand mine and yours tagging together or else his panties would get stained with too much hot sticky hash-(tag) and then you know what? He’d be impregnated. And that he just couldn’t have, which I respect.

His idea is good, even great, but he’s not a visionary. He’s more of a hater, an egomaniac, and a credit-, attention-, and genre-whore. All those things are good in their place, but when I am trying to sell erotica I’d prefer to do so without the nazi DM-YELLING, in a high-pitched 144 character frenzy, to take down artwork of spread ass or posts about psychedelic mind control allusions before he…whatever, dude. He made me nervous with his rants so I long ago tuned him out. I recently found I’d been booted from his blog, blocked from his hashtag, but I didn’t really give a fuck because I had better plans already anyway.twitter hashtag

I had replaced the “other” hashtag with ours: #LPRTG. Using a tag for all erotica work (whether tame or brashly uncensored, whether fine art, literature, or pulp fiction) is a solid idea because it makes google and amazon and the other creators of bots and algorithms aware of our hard work as independent erotic writers and artists, and it helps us form a web of interrelation. This helps us get noticed in various mediums. Nothing wrong with being noticed when you’re trying to get readers.

In my opinion, nothing replaces the success of simply sitting down to write but some retweeting, sharing on FB, and the employment of bots like crowdfire and roundteam, can help us all reach more potential readers and easily spread the word about each other and ourselves. So please use a few characters of your 144 character to add #LPRTG (or @LiteraryPornRTG) and let us (and our followers — which will be growing) share for you. It has already gotten some traction and this is just the beginning. We would like to get 5 times larger to really help out. That starts with people adding the #LPRTG tag to their erotica books, their dirty poems, their sexual artwork, and more.twitter hashtag

Also, feel free to combine the hashtag with any other hashtags you so desire. I couldn’t care less how you choose to use it and will support your posts unconditionally. I’ll suggest combinations that seem to do the best periodically.

 

Moctezuma is looking for Guest Posts

If you are interested in being a guest blogger on this site, please fill out the form below.

Click Here to Open in a New Window

 

Check out some past guest posts:

Guest Post on the Literary Porn Super-site

Guest Post on the Literary Porn Super-site

The Five Most Important Things to Remember When Rappelling Down a Giant Dildo | Fuck Force Five Manual

Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos

Triangulum Stain, the story of a chemical agent from outer space landing on Earth via a space capsule that crashes into the Arizona desert features an attack of replicating alien dildos that must be stopped for Earthlings to survive (gasp!). Fuck Force Five (see image) is a highly trained Women in Black (WIB) elite fighting force dispatched to restore order and get rid of any extraterrestrial/paranormal invaders by any means necessary—whether through force or through fucking.

There really isn’t much difference between rappelling down the face of a mountain or the side of a giant sentient dildo sent to destroy you. The Fuck Force Five Manual provides the basics. Please read carefully, raise your hand if you have any questions:

 

  1. Make sure the belay is on. Safety first. No matter how highly trained you and your group are, you must confirm. Double check by asking your partner, “Belay on?” You’ll have to scream because when rappelling down the side of a Giant Dildo you have a lot of distance to cover and it’s hard to hear. She’ll look back up at you and shout up, “Lay Hans?” Shake your head. She’ll keep talking: “Who is Hans?” Put your forefinger to your mouth to tell her to shush. Then put your arms in an X shape over your chest to signal “wrong”. Once you have her full attention, grab the belay rope and jiggle it. Point to her and ask again, “Is the belay on?” She’ll make the Italian gesture Madonna and then yell back up, “Belay is on. Of course.”
  2. Make sure to breath. The hard thing about rappelling and using the belay system is that if you get nervous and shaky it’s hard to grip the cords that make friction to slow you down, and rappelling down a dildo too fast is quite dangerous. You’d like to go medium speed and drift down and land, kick off, drift down and land. Every Fuck Force Five agent is highly trained to handle the stressful situations. Breathing is step one to stress management. Once you’re feeling loose, jump and descend, jump and descend. Repeat.
  3. I love my job. I mean, seriously, who gets to do this? I’m rocketed into the pristine Arizona desert, a place that gets over sixteen million visitors every year. I get to rock my latex suit, my red boots, my gas mask, and my gloves. I get to rappel down living silicone made from human semen. This is like all Moby Dick on acid, dudes! All those Moby Dicks sailors coaxing the sperm out of the sperm whale (a very erotic scene!), rubbing, kneeding, jerking in one great mess of sperm and whale where one person ended and another began was all very vague. So it is here in Arizona with giant dildos, human male sperm, and WIB sent to fuck them all into submission. What’s not to love?
  4. What’s controlling this thing? Do you think I could get in the pee-hole and see what is down there? A super-computer? the Wizard of Oz pulling strings? Katy Perry?
  5. Does this giant cock mean there’s a giant pussy out there? What does the pussy look like that can take this massive sentient dildo? Not sure I ever want to come into contact with that.
  6. Look around and be aware of your surroundings. When you land, survey the scene. Where there’s one Alien Dildo you’re likely to find more. These dildos infest like roaches. Remember, where there’s a will there’s a way!
  7. Get right down to business. Make sure you’ve got your finger on the Crabwater Release Mechanism (CRM). Rappelling down a giant cock in the desert while Earth is under attack and humans are under the threat of extinction can be quite distracting. Stay on point. There’s important business at hand. That’s why you’ve been rocketed in. Spray these alien bastards with the synthesis. It’s time to take down some alien cock, girls!

 

[amazon text=Please step into our Secret Facility for a Debriefing&asin=B00JI60KX4]

*Mouse over the link above to get links for different countries to appear*

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Five Ways Sex is Therapeutic

Six Pack

More reasons to Stay in the Bedroom

Sex is fun and it has been researched and proven that it lowers stress which leads to more optimal health levels. So fuck yourself healthy by keeping these five useful therapies in mind. 

 

Sex cures allergies – I suffer from debilitating allergies. You know, the kind that make it unable to take a full breath and leave you oxygen depleted and so cranky you want to throw your phone across the room and stomp your feet. I’ve tried decongestants, neri pots, apple cider vinegar, tea, you name it, and nothing helps. Well not nothing. Sex helps. After having sex with my wife I find that my sinuses open up and I have a rare moment where I can take a full breath.

 

It’s natural exercise (keeps us limber) – If you’re like me you suffer from a variety of ailments. Stiff necks, back spasms, sore wrists and elbows, tightness in the legs, etc. Thanks to the joys of making love I find my body stretched out and far more flexible than before which drastically helps these nagging injuries improve. It’s like sex reduces the pain of arthritis.

 

It reduces stress – I mean sometimes you just need to let off a little steam. If you don’t have a drum set in the house, try a quickie. I quick, hard fuck can be exactly what the psychologist ordered. Day in and day out there are zillions of little needling annoyances and one orgasm can set the annoyance odometer back to zero. For 2-5 minutes you will be at peace.

 

It patches up arguments – Is there a more charming way to admit you are sorry? Definitely not. Make up sex is the only good thing about arguing. Don’t forget about it. You need it. It’s like the glue that sticks a relationship back together.

 

It helps creativity – Sex releases endorphins. Endorphins let the creative juices flood your brain. So if you’re feeling stuck with your writing, your job, whatever takes a boost of creativity, try sex to get going again.

 

These are five therapeutic uses sex provides, but surely there are many more. Experiment for yourself and leave me a comment if you find something you want to share.

 

 

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Love Asian Therapy? If so, check below:

Ways to Be Slutty for your Man | The Slut List |

ways-to-be-slutty

Ways to Be Slutty For Your Man

The Best Thing in the World is a Slutty Girlfriend or Wife. It is just so sexy!

“How can I be more slutty?” is the most common question/comment that I hear

 

I was struck by one of the running themes readers have said about the Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired Series. They’ve pointed out that in some way it’s about how much a woman (or man) will take in order to be with the person s/he loves. This is an interesting theme and I realized I’ve really not made any effort to help women out with this. I have written How-To articles aimed at men (my version of Maxim, so on steroids and cialis) but nothing of the sort for women. Allow me to attempt to catch up. Here are some things you regular women can do to totally slut yourself up and makes your man weak in the knees for you. These ways to be slutty aren’t meant to be demeaning to you or your relationship. They are meant to be fun and done with trust and love (or at least deep like).

A lot of women need to be sluttier for their men. When the do that, they keep him forever. George Carlin had “the Shit List”. I present to you “the Slut List”.

The SLUT LIST

 

  • Wait on for him in the house with fake cum poured on you and tell him you were just used by a horny guy who fucked your ass and raped your throat
  • Lay on your back with your ass up in the air and proudly show off your cunt and ass
    • Corollary, call your vagina your cunt & Call his penis a cock
      TheSlutList No 5 -- Wait For Your Man Wearing Fake Cum And Rubbing Your Cunt

      The Slut List No. 5 — Wait For Your Man Wearing Fake Cum And Rubbing Your Cunt

  • fill a water gun or enema bulb with fake cum and then give it to him to shoot all over you
    • he’ll love admiring your hot body covered, I mean doused, in jizz.
  • Set up the tripod and video him having his way with you, be sure to include a blowjob in your private porn opus. You will surely find him watching it and jerking himself off later and you will be proud.
  • Walk around the house topless
  • Don’t wear any underwear all day. Yes, even if you have to work
  • Shave your cunt
  • Wear lingerie
  • Put a pillow over your own head, wear a mask (especially an animal mask, like a pig mask (try this one), or wear a brown paper bag over your head. Letting him enjoy nothing but your body will drive him wild. Sometimes he needs to objectify you to get a raging hard on and fuck you so good you can’t walk tomorrow.
  • do your hair in pig tails and wear a catholic school girl skirt
  • wear really cheap, plastic earrings
  • wear “club” outfits while eating take out at home
  • do your eye make-up really heavy and let him face fuck you until your mascara runs all over your face
  • let him fuck you in the ass while he watches internet porn from a laptop placed on your back
  • Get on your hands and knees and be his footrest
  • Kneel before him and ask permission to leave the house before you go
  • Give him a sponge bath with your soapy tits as the sponge
  • Have him close his eyes and surprise him by putting different parts of you in his mouth: nipples, fatty part of tit, tongue, clit, ass, etc.
    Write "whore" on yourself or let him write it

    Write “whore” on yourself or let him write it

  • Suck a huge dildo off in front of him
  • Kiss one of your girlfriends in front of him
  • Suck off one of his friends in front of him
  • Fuck a dildo suctioned onto a glass surface so he can see from behind
  • Put in a butt plug before a date with him, tell him it’s in over dinner, and show him later.
  • Suck his dick while he’s titty fucking one of your friends (if you don’t get jealous)
  • Stick your tongue up his ass while you jerk him off
  • Wear a plastic pig nose and a plastic tiara while he fucks you

 

I think you’ve got the hand of this slut business now. Develop your own, and feel free to share awesome ideas!

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Note:

Since publication of this “Ways to Be Slutty “article I have received overwhelming response and have compiled my advice into an eBook called The Sex Manual.

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