Shayna is the Black FFF. Her specialty is knives. She wears black heavy armor with her tits out and a tattoo of the number 45 in between big DDs with small nipples and tape over her left nipple in an x. Her arms and legs are totally encased in heavy armor. A helmet hides much of her pretty face. Her left eye looks through a viewfinder which displays heat maps and other overlays on command. It also links Shayna to Cybernetic System that syncs to her body and gives her faster reflexes and increases her neural capacity so she “sees” more. A cigarette is at all times dangling from her luscious lips. Some say the cigarette contains poison darts. Others say the butt is a grenade.
She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).
Helmswoman USS Enterthighs
WiB Academy Training
Sharpshooter with Gatling Energy Pistol
Tactical Cyborg Viewfinder – Viewfinder is fused to her body sending electrical currents into her nerve stream and vice versa. She can ‘see’ more than a regular human being. This is a major asset in battle and when flying at warp speeds.
Gatling Energy Pistol – An Molecular Energy Gun
Armor Suit – Full Body Armor with Cybergenic Molecular Energy Arm Guns and Tactical Pockets
<tap on your shoulder, dear reader>
Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment as we think you may have been exposed to a toxic gamma ray from…
Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:
Enjoy some Asian Smutpunk:
Romancing the Hot Stone by Moctezuma Johnson
Alpha Billionaire CEO always gets everything he wants until he gets burned. A powerful CEO wants wants a masseuse badly but this comedy goes buck wild when he slips while trying to coerce the young Asian masseuse to give him extra pleasure. He falls into the boiling crock pot heating the hot stones and enters the mind- and body-warping Futa Romantic Comedy. All the tables get turned in this Asian Masseuse v. White CEO futa slug-fest.
“Romancing the Hot Stone is what I would call an exceptionally filthy, inappropriate, erotic comedy. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what smutpunk is all about. Larry is an arrogant, racist, abusive businessman who ends up nearly losing his manhood in an unfortunate accident. It serves him right but, of course, he does not see it that way. As much fun as it is to see him nearly emasculated, the true pleasure comes in seeing the tables turned, with the masseuse being the one to get her revenge. There is a lot of build up here, with the sex saved for the very end, but the telling of the story is what makes it so amusing.” —Sally Bend, authority on transgender fiction.
The Asian Chick Strikes Back, blog post by Moctezuma Johnson
See where the Character Butterface (and the book) has turned up over the years. Please leave any additions in the comments and someone will add it in.
Butterface first appeared in the novel by the same title written by Callie Press. She was an homage to the Cthulhu legend of Narlyathotep, the swirling chaos created by H.P. Lovecraft. She was a legend boys told around Halloween about a gorgeous woman who would seduce you to steal your semen for universe building. Sex with her sealed your doom. Later Moctezuma Johnson has his heroine face her in an epic clash while the Five Hive is on Alien Relish to restore lust and procreation to the universe.
Have you heard of the USS Enterthighs?
It’s the craft flown by the Five Hive when taking on extraterrestrial villains (see technical specifications below). This is a vague idea of what it may look like inside the instersellar vessel (see “In Flight Entertainment” by Leticia). From the outside, the spaceship looks a lot like a woman on her back with her legs spread (crude smutpunk rendition coming soon, I swear). The boosters come out of her toes, which curl when warp speed is engaged. Each big tit of this buxom intergalactic spaceship is part of twin bridges. The midriff is living quarters for the crew. The pussy and ass is a docking bay. The head is the front of the ship, which holds most of the weaponry. In the latest episode from the Triangulum Stain Universe, Attack of the North Korea Giantesses, there’s a weightlessness sex scene that takes place in one of the recreational areas aboard the USS Enterthighs (read sample).
What is the Triangulum Stain Universe?
This universe features five latex clad super-hot WiB superheroes chasing down alien wrongdoing and restoring peace to Earth. There are two novellas, Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos and Battle for Alien Relish, and I’m in the middle of a series of short episodes. The first one was Pop & Lollie. The second installment will be coming out soon. If you don’t want to miss it, join my mailing list.
USS Enterthighs Technical Specs
Operator: The Five Hive of WiB
Type: Medium-range explorer, Disseminate Class
Propulsion System: Warp Core – Class 69 (Cyclic Input Manifold)
Length: 669 meters
Mass: 899,000 metric tons
Crew complement: 169
Speed: Warp 9.975 (max. sustainable cruise velocity)
Armament: Vibrating Phaser arrays, phaser banks, spatial charges and torpedo tubes compatible with photon torpedoes, quantum torpedoes, and tricobalt devices
Defenses: Deflector shields
*Permissions pending on artwork
There are Christmas Deals and then there are XXXmASS deals!
This one is the latter. See what Smutpunk means when it bellows Ho Ho Ho amidst the sweet winter wonderland sounds of Jingle Balls and It’s Going to Be a White ChristmASS. I better run, uh oh, Here Cums Santa Claus!
Now’s the Time to Get this Incredible Flash Sale.
So tune in this Friday from 12-2 pm and get 35% off everything!
**Sorry, batteries not included.
***Hot Asian chick sold separately
Two new exciting things are going on this month:
one, there are new additions to the Smutpunk Subscription
get involved for only 69¢!
two, Attack of the North Korean Giantesses is on its way
Have you heard of the USS Enterthighs?
It’s the craft flown by the Five Hive when taking on extraterrestrial villains. This is a vague idea of what it may look like inside the instersellar vessel. There’s a hot, weightlessness sex scene in Attack of the North Korea Giantesses (read sample).
More Christmas Specials – Use ‘Jynx50’ for 50% off Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired
Don’t forget there’s some awesome smutpunk swag available
(Get a lifetime membership and choose one of these smutpunk gifts to get 1000% for Free or buy with Christmas discount)
(aka Sarchasmo, aka Moctezuma Johnson, aka King Smutpunk, aka Kid S.Punk)
Cockslappicus is a character in the Pantheon of Smutpunk Superheroes started by Callie Press and Moctezuma Johnson. This character was created by Moctezuma Johnson and is often chasing down criminals (aka criminally bad practices in the indie publishing world). He’s kind of a purveyor of justice. He supports the invisible, the outcasts, the different, those with no voice. He metes out justice on his foes by slapping the shit out of them with his massive weaponized cock. There are stories of him attacking copycatters (Sarchasmo v. Apographia) and serial users (the eEquivalent of a director telling a hot young piece of ass he wants to shag “i’m gonna make you a star, baby! right after you suck me off).
Books featuring Cockslappicus:
Organic Matter and Cumshots!
So there’s this idea about Panspermia. You know, you probably got glassy-eyed in high-school when they explained this to you, but it’s actually pretty fucking cool. The idea is that the universe shoots these pods around from galaxy to galaxy spewing organic matter like a sparkler on the Fourth of July shoots sparks. Some of these little pieces landed in hospitable places. Like a cumshot landing in a fertile pussy, organic matter took root and started to grow. Voila! Life.
One night, when I was wandering the pyramids of Palenque in the Mexican state of Chiapas, I was blessed with some hallucinogenics. While I was melting into a tree and a snake, Quetzalcoatl came to me and told me I had a purpose. It was imperative, that was the exact word he used although he spoke via ESP, that I share panspermia with the world. This was years ago, and for the first few years I fucked every woman I could and shared my sperm with her. However, it occurred to me little by little that that was not was Quetzalcoatl had in mind. No. The great feathered serpent, God to many pre-Hispanic cultures, wanted me to share the History of the Universe with the masses, especially the gringos.
Thus, SMUTPUNK was born.