Preview – Peel Another Banana, America — #Excerpt #Preview #AmWriting

Peel Another Banana, America

You love Aztec bitches

in their feathered headress

tattoed Teotitlan titties

hairless heiroglypic cunts

Today Tijuana has–

Meshica cunt shtuffed

full of obsidian cock–

Dress her up like an Aztec

in jaguar skin

to sacrifice at the altar

of thick Moctezuma cock

lay her on the…


Butterface | the character #LPRTG #smutpunk @CalliePress @smutpunk_author



See where the Character Butterface (and the book) has turned up over the years. Please leave any additions in the comments and someone will add it in. 

Butterface first appeared in the novel by the same title written by Callie Press. She was an homage to the Cthulhu legend of Narlyathotep, the swirling chaos created by H.P. Lovecraft. She was a legend boys told around Halloween about a gorgeous woman who would seduce you to steal your semen for universe building. Sex with her sealed your doom. Later Moctezuma Johnson has his heroine face her in an epic clash while the Five Hive is on Alien Relish to restore lust and procreation to the universe.


Princess Chuckhole v. Butterface

Butterface by Callie Press (reviewed by Moctezuma Johnson)

Butterface in Smutpunk Gallery

Butterface in Smutpunk Dictionary

Butterface in Battle for Alien Relish by Moctezuma Johnson


порно с трусиками вытащил большие сиськи по Монтесума Джонсон #порно #сиськи #LPRTG

Thong Thursday and Pulled Panties

What looks upside down to you is all a matter or perspective. Like the Chinese fortune cookie said to me yesterday: Example instead of Perception







Big Tits Small Waist

Women with big tits tend to be sluttier. Thank you slutty women. Thank you.




Какой тип похмелья лучше всего


big tits bulge from tank top

big tits
with hard nipples
in see-through shirt


порно с трусиками вытащил большие сиськи по эротики писатель Монтесума Джонсон (porn with panties pulled big tits by erotica writer moctezuma johnson)

America doesn’t deserve a Birthday Party this Year…


…but we can still enjoy some sexy photos instead of celebrating a functioning democracy.


The red, white, and blue have, instead of democracy, a nasty imperial force that causes proxy wars all over the globe with an umprecedictable nut figurehead at the helm. Yep, no birthday party this year.

News so Absurdly False it’s True: Professor confirms meritocracy dead


News so Absurdly False it’s True (well, nearly true. What’s the kids call Bullshit Truth)

MIT professor confirms meritocracy long dead in America

CAMBRIDGE, MA — Election of Trump, MIT Professor Nomme d’Chumsky states from his eRanch in Honolulu, proves people at the top can now be filled by people at the bottom. Education, skill sets, and language ability are all demerits in today’s new Bullshit Society. In fact, the professor warns, education and skills, especially foreign language skills, can get you in a heap of trouble reminiscent of Pol Pot’s Cambodia. He suggests the average American just shut her mouth, eat her fast food, and pay her part of America’s enormous taxes for governments new weapons to monitor, scare, and control.


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The SMUTPUNK Lexicon

The Brand New Literary Pulp SMUTPUNK Mailing List (you will get freebies and the hottest smutpunk content on Planet Earth)

Bad President: I think it’s safe to say that the president of the US is a total dick


Bad President: I think it’s safe to say that the president of the US is a total dick

And he’s not too bright either

If you read President Trump’s tweets you find they are littered with poor grammatical agreement, incorrect spelling, and incomplete sentences. I’ve always feared people with fragmented sentences as it betrays their disjointed thinking. A fragment here and there is little cause for concern, but the way Trump does it is alarming to any smart person. Dumb sheep won’t notice, but if you’re switched on you just get the sense that this man is fraud and a total moron. No wonder he’s getting ridden like a camel by Putin, Bannon, Conway, and a lot of others with two syllable names. I never thought it would be necessary, but I think the US needs presidents to pass a minimum skills test: basic grammar, basic logic, basic math. We need to be sure the leader of the free world can handle basic tasks. A lot of people have doubts about this guy running the show right now. It’s possible he’s just simply average (I often mistake average for stupid, sorry. I never said I’m not a dick), but it’s likely he’s below average or even criminally stupid. We really don’t know. The fact that we are not sure is alarming to me. I didn’t love many other presidents, including Obama who I found to be a pussy in the face of these conservative nuts. I just wanted Obama to stand up and bitch slap the racist religious right fuckers but he was too kind. However, I never doubted the first African-American president’s brains. If Trump is really average and not a moron, then we can all be sure of one unalienable fact: Trump’s a total dick.

Let’s have a little checklist and see how Trump fares.

He’s totally at war with science. Dick. He is at war with the media. Dick. He wants a Holy War with Islam. Dick. He hates women. Dick. He can’t spell. Dick. He lied about playing golf because he knew he’s be criticized. Dick. He lies regularly about everything. Dick. He thinks white supremacists Alex Jones and Steve Bannon are “his kind of guys.” Double Dick.

Wow. He has top marks for being a dick. Bet his SAT and GRE scores weren’t nearly that impressive.

Now, the fact that Americans voted for this cunt shows you that the rule of the US is coming to a close. When the average person, liberal or conservative, isn’t smart enough to see a dick dictator for what he really is, that country can no longer call itself a superpower. The only way in which the US remains a superpower is in Military Strength. The military is a superpower but the country and its citizens are not super. Its elected officials certainly are not super. In fact, our government officials aren’t even decent. Most of them bought their way into their position and lack the basic skill sets to do the job. For example, American Ambassador’s rarely speak the language of the host nation. What a disgrace! When it comes to sciences, education, art, literature, music, language skill (chuckle chuckle) to be American is to have a disadvantage.

Check out these tweets! This is your US President (cringe), nickname “Leader of the Free World.”


Tweet 1


Tweet 2