Bullshit Bullpen No. 12 – Big Heavy Balls Ready to Drop Bombs #LPRTG #SMUTPUNK


Bullshit Bulletin Number 12



Bullshit Bullpen

This holiday time of year is crazy at my work, so I often lose touch with writing life. I hope it hasn’t been way too long since I’ve written a bullshit bullpen bulletin. We believe this is #11, no #12, but I won’t bet my life on that. If the count is wrong, fuck it. It’s not like I’m dealing drugs. I don’t have to be any more accurate than an American Politician at the microphone. Some exciting things have come into focus since the last bullpen edition. We have a fully functioning SmutStreet Luvies Street Team, which is incredibly exciting (named by the genius genevieve green whose genius is only surpassed by her gorgeous body). We also have a Smutpunk Erotica Collab out and I’m part of Miss-Taken Identities, an anthology that has a little fun with the cracks in gender identity. Miss-Taken also features Reed (James), Sally (Bend), Kella (Driehl), Lyka (Bloom),  Kylie (Gable),‎ Claudia (Acosta),‎ and Mindi (Harris).cum-on-tits

Check out the Smutpunk Erotica Collab! It features stories from a variety of authors. See more below. Speaking of anthologies, check out the new one focused on gender-bending:

Miss-Taken Identities edited by the amazing transgender authority Sally Bend is out to great acclaim.

The anthology contains a star-studded lineup and then me.

I don’t know how I finagled my brown way into this book, but there I am am big Latino dick and construction crew going awry. 

It’s pretty damn hot and I’m glad I’m in. 

See for yourself as I take a step into the wonderful world of gender-bending (without the futanari aspects I usually throw in).

There are amazing stories from Reed James, Kella Z. Driehl, etc etc etc. 

Sex Tip – Pooning

Sex Tip – Cum Snorting

Plug for Emme’s Book:

“I’m going for a skate, honey. Yes, past my ex-boyfriend’s bank. Yep, in this short short skirt with no underwear on. Get ready to clean me up when I’m back.”

Smutpunk on Skates, an #AsianErotica #Cuckold Tale


This paragraph is designed for one purpose: TO DRUM UP BUZZ for MJ’s Chronicles 5 and Subscription (99¢ p/month sale)! I have to kill the 69¢ per month for a subscription. It’s too cheap! Readers, take advantage of the legendary laziness of MJ and subscribe for 69¢. The subscription is my version of Patreon. Imagine getting the unique, creative labyrinth that is the SMUTPUNK UNIVERSE FOR ONLY SIXTY-NINE. 




You’ll see that the moctezumajohnson.com slider has a new advertisement. The sidebars are for sale for adverts, too. Learn more about SERVICES FOR WRITERS.




Get a SMUTPUNK subscription, if you’re brave enough

Images are one of the things that makes the moctezumajohnson.com site different than other erotica writer’s sites. The images span from psychedelic porn to hentai aliens to hot Asian chicks with long legs. You can enjoy the smutpunk gallery (uncensored VIP Smutpunk Gallery) at any time. Believe it or not, this is the number one most clicked image on this site All-Time.

This is a close second:




So please enjoy the stream of images on this site


Click the Bottle that Looks Suspiciously Like a Dick if you’re behind her banging her Doggy Style if you want to Fall in Love with a Korean Chick (or any chick).


sexy-korean intense-diets-of-kpop-stars

Get Your Very Own Korean-style K-pop Star Diet


What’s your SMUTPUNK name?

If you don’t know GET ONE ASAP.
After you get it, please let me know what it is in the comments. Thanks!

The following is a Pinterest Pin Promotion for Triangulum Stain 1 – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildo


Answer: This is smutpunk.

No, No, this is smutpunk.

Are you crazy? THIS is smutpunk. 

FUCK THAT. Everybody knows this is smutpunk

True smutpunk4lyf motherfuckers know this is smutpunk. 


I need your help

I need you to press this link (while signed in to your twitter) and invite your people to join the LPRTG mailing list! The list offers freebies, news about smutpunk and other erotica, links to giveaways, contest, quizzes, and more.

Press this link to invite your followers to learn more about how to pleasure herself and her partner. Yum!


Got something important to add to the next bulletin?

Let me know. I’m looking for some guest posts, news, and contests to share with smutpunks.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, said San Esperma di Desgracia


Bullshit Bullpen No. 12

I’d like to start things off with a silly little rhymed poem:


Pirate’s Booty Verse

This Treasure Hunt unearthed a Chick Tied to the Booty

Buck naked, so I entered her Cunt

Clearly I wasn’t First to Grab this Cum-Drippy Cutey

Loose From the Action Up Front

this one got Bukkaked Good

a Cum Beret like a Goo Mop Trade Would


Still, the Skank had A Phat Asian Ass

As I fucked her she spoke real crass

She said the Blacks say Booty

Asian PAAGs say Whooty

I say they can all choke on Nerve Gas!




According to sophisticated Internet Searches and Reddit Forums,
having Chun-Li on her knees or doused in baby gravy
will get your site to #1 on google rankings. Is it working?


cum on titties for Dick N. (plz give me more cum on titties!)


Six Smutpunk Stories in one Awesome SMUTPUNK COLLABORATION (an anthology)!

by six bestselling authors. This 38,000-word anthology features Agent Joystick by Bella Shadows, Futanari Roomate Situation by Kella Z. Driel, Driving Stick by Roxy Katt, Dino-Sore by Moctezuma Johnson, and The Return of Roo by Lucian Carter.

Get punked!

The world’s first ever anthology of smutpunk erotica collects six sexy stories from half a dozen twisted authors and slaps them into your hot little hands, absolutely free!

What is smutpunk? Think cyberpunk, add a dollop of spunk, a bit of punk, and a squirt of love potion sixty-nine—and you get the idea! It’s filthy, no-holds barred, all-out erotic wrestling contest—and you’ve got front-row seats:

Feast on the following free sexy beasts:

Agent Joystick by Bella Shadows: An old man laments his initiation as a government assassin, a protein-stealing lady-mech does her nasty deeds, and History is to thank for it all. Agent Joystick details his sextale, from baited hook to sinker.

(Not Quite) Milked by the Yeti by Callie Press: Brendalee Elkins finds that some nekkid pictures of her hawt body have been leakin’ all over the internets. She come right to get them and restore her honor but a Yeti gets in her way.

Futanari Roommate Situation by Kella Z. Driel: Alistair is your typical, diffident British chap, studying at Neo-Tokyo University. Uh-oh! He’s been assigned a futanari roommate! She’s gorgeous, throbbing and keeps undressing in front of him! How long can he keep a stiff upper lip?

The Return of Roo by Lucian Carter: You don’t really belong here. This is a dangerous place. A scary place. Predators lurk here, eager for new prey. This… is #coverthypnotism! Witness the cyber trances of HypnoDom Lucian Carter, and feed your fetish, or find a new one.

Dino-sore by Moctezuma Johnson: Miss Park is a Korean scientist trapped as a housewife until she braves flying to a small island in Latin America where she unearths something big, warm, and throbbing. Magic on the island is making everything bigger. Will she be able to handle it?

Driving Stick by Roxy Katt: In a diesel punk world, one sedate housewife inexplicably grows male genitals. What does she do? Squeeze into a shiny, black rubber uniform and become a chauffeuse of course. But sometimes those without the gear shift do the driving.

What are you waiting for? IT’S FREE SMUT! cum-on-tits Everybody loves to get free smut.


Look for Andrew Liebling in MJ’s next piece. Will he be a North Korean spy doctor checking new female recruits to see if they’re virgins. Will he be Dr. Engle’s assistant cooking up magic FUTA potions? Stay tuned and find out how he gets in the mix.


Specials and Flashing

So, there are some XXXmas Specials including 35% off with a valid coupon code.

Also look out for Flash Sales. When you see the naked tits on the homepage.

They’re on. 

In other words, clothes off means sale’s on.


This Site and it’s “benefits”

Yes, I know you adore your friends with benefits. Think of this site as one of them. Since 2017 selling smutpunk directly to readers has been the rise. More and more people are buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for smutpunk books while the authors get the majority of profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you. There is also, of course, a subscription available.



Be sure to see the new services for writers. You’ll notice the lovely Shelby Kent-Stewart was able to strike while the iron wasn’t yet unwrapped and procure herself a nice ad spot on the main slider of this website.

See the side bar for more information.


InstaFreebie Event 2018

Get Your Book on the Smutpunk InstaFreebie Giveaway. We were getting over 1000 hits per day last time. We should be able to blow that out of the water. Sign up here.

View Form in New Window


Dicksucking Skillz Assesment and Evaluation Form

I highly recommend getting your score. If you score high, kudos! But if you however are not in the top twenty percentile, then I suggest you get yourself a copy of the Sex Manual and start your studies.




Shelby Kent-Stewart


Click the Sign to Follow Shelby on Twitter

I have great respect for the women who continually fight for change. Please friend Shelby Kent-Stewart on twitter if you’d like to contribute to making a difference. Tell her “I am the dragon” and she’ll know MJ sent you. Also, look at her beautiful book covers. I highly suggest you read them. They don’t get sparkling 5-star reviews for nothing.


Click any of the book covers to learn more about this political activist and contemporary erotica writer.


Miscellaneous images
(some have links and some don’t. Click at your own risk)


Hello, Dali by Dave


A new post of SMUTPUNK ART will be on display soon. Check back soon and inquire within if you’d like to submit something. 

Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade

What's with the feet?

What’s with the feet? Click the heels to buy the book!

This one is about you. And, HOT DAMN, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.

Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!



Polls are always fun, aren’t they? This site has some MUST ANSWER polls and I am doing monthly polls in conjunction with Linzi’s Angels (formerly known as Linzi’s Lair). This month’s poll is the Dicksucking Skillz Assessment Quiz.

This site has its own polls, which are added to regularly. Enjoy!




SMUTPUNK eats pussy all night. And sometimes in the morning.


Tudung & Titties the Big Malay Tits & Ass #TittyTuesday Show #AsianErotica

Tudung & Titties the Big Malay Tits & Ass #TittyTuesday Show #AsianErotica1
images (3) p164647823

Nothing like Phat Booty

there’s nothing like phat booty
and big tits
whether white, dominican, or malay

there’s nothing like phat booty
and long legs
with thick lips that suck cock

there’s nothing like phat booty
rjotna7du9ltizicmg0u thick-middle-eastern-girls-16

with the fucking hijab on
i bent the slattern bitch
cock to tip of anus
Fuck my ass, MJ, please

she purred in her language
hard as an English speaker
learning Arabic
I did her deep in the alphabet

until she yelled, Aleph Aleph Aleph
as her husband bust in on us

Read Malay Erotica #AsianErotica written by Smutpunk Wife Emme Hortumblr_mrrfqqLTiX1sd3nlpo4_500

Tudung & Titties (and maybe some thick, juicy booty)


Read all about some Malaysian girls and a hot, alpha male in SMUTPUNK on SKATES

tumblr_nyz0xj1kg41uxakdgo1_1280 6ac56b1d04d0ec951792c1a50bbec96e big-ass-arab-hijab-sex-muslim-girls

you’re just…

you’re just a rectum to destroy
i don’t even know your real name
you’re just a rectum to destroy
i don’t even know if you’re married or not
you’re just a rectum to destroy
not even sure what you were doing on line when we met
you’re just a rectum to destroy

images (2)


fucked her ass

i had her wait for me
head in the toilet
tudung soaking wet
dildo deep up her ass
massive purple
twice the size
of my big cock
i pushed it in
watched her tits
go crooked
flipped her ass up
into the air
fucked her asspulled out of her gaped hole
as she looked up at me
glasses floated
in the toilet
I sprayed all over head scarf

tumblr_nj9iihPoFF1r2jqw1o1_500 tumblr_nle77jWTjx1tgsc7uo2_500 Shhhh, she says
as I suck on her nipples
she jerks me off
while her husband
is in the other room
working tumblr_nty85gNuzF1ucysuao1_540

So Desperately Cum Hungry Her Tongue Turned to Polka Dots

Cum hungry tongue so desperate
it has turned pink and purple polka dots
sucking smutpunk
right out the universe again
to replenish herserlf
like a modern Butterface
a Nyarlathotep of Seduction
Swirling her Cunt around Dick
Idiot head numb from facefucking
so much her jaw hurts and her mind’s blank
she tries to lick her own asshole
to satisfy the itch




A rectum to destroy | #Anal #Sex #Poem by Moctezuma Johnson


yours, an ass
your asshole, an ass
an asshole
a rectum
to destroy
there you have ass
in front of polka dots
in pink and purple
there you have ass
to stretch
you rectum
to destroy
there you have polka dots
in pink and
there you have ass
to stretch open
and claim asshole
purple rectum stretch
you are the stretch
you anal fucking pig
your membranes
your cells
your atoms
stretch to accomadate
all that dick
I give you
up your ass
as your hair cascades romatically
down into my face


Getting ready for work | Poem by Moctezuma Johnson | #Smutpunk #LPRTG



this poem is a little emotional history of getting ready to go to work at the bar in the nighttime

Getting ready for work

in my apartment
she didn’t even take her clear heels off
in that little area where the shoes and whores go
she kneeled
i dangled cock at her
she sucked
and sucked good.
i spurted eight creamy loads
zipped up and
walked out
said goodnight
walked off to work


Shayna from the Five Hive (FB-appropriate Images) #LPRTG #smutpunk4lyf



Shayna is the Black FFF. Her specialty is knives. She wears black heavy armor with her tits out and a tattoo of the number 45 in between big DDs with small nipples and tape over her left nipple in an x. Her arms and legs are totally encased in heavy armor. A helmet hides much of her pretty face. Her left eye looks through a viewfinder which displays heat maps and other overlays on command. It also links Shayna to Cybernetic System that syncs to her body and gives her faster reflexes and increases her neural capacity so she “sees” more. A cigarette is at all times dangling from her luscious lips. Some say the cigarette contains poison darts. Others say the butt is a grenade.

She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).


Helmswoman USS Enterthighs
WiB Academy Training
Sharpshooter with Gatling Energy Pistol


Tactical Cyborg Viewfinder – Viewfinder is fused to her body sending electrical currents into her nerve stream and vice versa. She can ‘see’ more than a regular human being. This is a major asset in battle and when flying at warp speeds.
Gatling Energy Pistol – An Molecular Energy Gun
Armor Suit – Full Body Armor with Cybergenic Molecular Energy Arm Guns and Tactical Pockets


 <tap on your shoulder, dear reader>

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment as we think you may have been exposed to a toxic gamma ray from…


Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:

Meet Tabitha (the blonde)

Meet Tabitha (the blonde)


Smutpunk on Instagram #IG #LPRTG #SMUTPUNK


I’m starting to like Instagram a bit more.


One from a friend of Minae’s:

#lolz #yogainspiration

A post shared by Roselynn Randerod (@roselynnranderod) on

#smutpunk4lyf #hotguys

A post shared by Moctezuma Johnson (@moctezuma.johnson) on

#lprtg #eartg #smuteczek #smutstuck #smuttybooklover #smutpunk

A post shared by Moctezuma Johnson (@moctezuma.johnson) on


A post shared by Moctezuma Johnson (@moctezuma.johnson) on

At first I wasn’t crazy about instagram, especially for an erotica writer who likes posting dirty photos. They kept removing my content. However, little by little I’m finding I like other people’s posts quite a bit. Take Roselynn Randerod, for example. She posts hilarious stuff. Scroll through her timeline to see what I mean. You have MILF Hotel and other wonderful photos to make you laugh and maybe even to SPLOOSH! Feel free to like any of the posts you like so we know you’re interested. Also, put the links to your IG accounts in the comments below.


Read a Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade by Moctezuma Johnson

Click the Tongue for Fun

Smutpunk on Instagram

The Asian Chick Strikes Back | #AsianErotica #Futa #smutpunk4lyf



moctezuma-johnsonasian sexy
asian sexyasian-ass-smutpunk-moctezuma-johnson-fixes-hot-rod
best-chinese-ass-booty-PAAG-moctezuma-johnsonasian sexy
asian sexy







Be Sure to Enjoy more Hot Asian Erotica by Emme Hor

I Am Not a Whore

Smutpunk on Skates

Click For #AsianErotica

Enjoy some Asian Smutpunk:

Romancing the Hot Stone by Moctezuma Johnson

Book Description:

Alpha Billionaire CEO always gets everything he wants until he gets burned. A powerful CEO wants wants a masseuse badly but this comedy goes buck wild when he slips while trying to coerce the young Asian masseuse to give him extra pleasure. He falls into the boiling crock pot heating the hot stones and enters the mind- and body-warping Futa Romantic Comedy. All the tables get turned in this Asian Masseuse v. White CEO futa slug-fest.

Book Review:

“Romancing the Hot Stone is what I would call an exceptionally filthy, inappropriate, erotic comedy. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what smutpunk is all about. Larry is an arrogant, racist, abusive businessman who ends up nearly losing his manhood in an unfortunate accident. It serves him right but, of course, he does not see it that way. As much fun as it is to see him nearly emasculated, the true pleasure comes in seeing the tables turned, with the masseuse being the one to get her revenge. There is a lot of build up here, with the sex saved for the very end, but the telling of the story is what makes it so amusing.” —Sally Bend, authority on transgender fiction. 


asian sexy





Be Sure to Enjoy more Hot Asian Erotica by Emme Hor

I Am Not a Whore

Smutpunk on Skates




The Asian Chick Strikes Back, blog post by Moctezuma Johnson

Butterface | the character #LPRTG #smutpunk @CalliePress @smutpunk_author



See where the Character Butterface (and the book) has turned up over the years. Please leave any additions in the comments and someone will add it in. 

Butterface first appeared in the novel by the same title written by Callie Press. She was an homage to the Cthulhu legend of Narlyathotep, the swirling chaos created by H.P. Lovecraft. She was a legend boys told around Halloween about a gorgeous woman who would seduce you to steal your semen for universe building. Sex with her sealed your doom. Later Moctezuma Johnson has his heroine face her in an epic clash while the Five Hive is on Alien Relish to restore lust and procreation to the universe.


Princess Chuckhole v. Butterface

Butterface by Callie Press (reviewed by Moctezuma Johnson)

Butterface in Smutpunk Gallery

Butterface in Smutpunk Dictionary

Butterface in Battle for Alien Relish by Moctezuma Johnson