Bullshit Bullpen No. 12 – Big Heavy Balls Ready to Drop Bombs #LPRTG #SMUTPUNK

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Bullshit Bulletin Number 12

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Bullshit Bullpen

This holiday time of year is crazy at my work, so I often lose touch with writing life. I hope it hasn’t been way too long since I’ve written a bullshit bullpen bulletin. We believe this is #11, no #12, but I won’t bet my life on that. If the count is wrong, fuck it. It’s not like I’m dealing drugs. I don’t have to be any more accurate than an American Politician at the microphone. Some exciting things have come into focus since the last bullpen edition. We have a fully functioning SmutStreet Luvies Street Team, which is incredibly exciting (named by the genius genevieve green whose genius is only surpassed by her gorgeous body). We also have a Smutpunk Erotica Collab out and I’m part of Miss-Taken Identities, an anthology that has a little fun with the cracks in gender identity. Miss-Taken also features Reed (James), Sally (Bend), Kella (Driehl), Lyka (Bloom),  Kylie (Gable),‎ Claudia (Acosta),‎ and Mindi (Harris).cum-on-tits

Check out the Smutpunk Erotica Collab! It features stories from a variety of authors. See more below. Speaking of anthologies, check out the new one focused on gender-bending:

Miss-Taken Identities edited by the amazing transgender authority Sally Bend is out to great acclaim.

The anthology contains a star-studded lineup and then me.

I don’t know how I finagled my brown way into this book, but there I am am big Latino dick and construction crew going awry. 

It’s pretty damn hot and I’m glad I’m in. 

See for yourself as I take a step into the wonderful world of gender-bending (without the futanari aspects I usually throw in).

There are amazing stories from Reed James, Kella Z. Driehl, etc etc etc. 

Sex Tip – Pooning

Sex Tip – Cum Snorting

Plug for Emme’s Book:

“I’m going for a skate, honey. Yes, past my ex-boyfriend’s bank. Yep, in this short short skirt with no underwear on. Get ready to clean me up when I’m back.”

Smutpunk on Skates, an #AsianErotica #Cuckold Tale

BUZZ

This paragraph is designed for one purpose: TO DRUM UP BUZZ for MJ’s Chronicles 5 and Subscription (99¢ p/month sale)! I have to kill the 69¢ per month for a subscription. It’s too cheap! Readers, take advantage of the legendary laziness of MJ and subscribe for 69¢. The subscription is my version of Patreon. Imagine getting the unique, creative labyrinth that is the SMUTPUNK UNIVERSE FOR ONLY SIXTY-NINE. 

 

 

ADVERTS BUZZ

You’ll see that the moctezumajohnson.com slider has a new advertisement. The sidebars are for sale for adverts, too. Learn more about SERVICES FOR WRITERS.

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SMUTPUNK-on-Skates-roller-emme-hor7

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Get a SMUTPUNK subscription, if you’re brave enough

Images are one of the things that makes the moctezumajohnson.com site different than other erotica writer’s sites. The images span from psychedelic porn to hentai aliens to hot Asian chicks with long legs. You can enjoy the smutpunk gallery (uncensored VIP Smutpunk Gallery) at any time. Believe it or not, this is the number one most clicked image on this site All-Time.

This is a close second:

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4th

 

So please enjoy the stream of images on this site

 

Click the Bottle that Looks Suspiciously Like a Dick if you’re behind her banging her Doggy Style if you want to Fall in Love with a Korean Chick (or any chick).

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Get Your Very Own Korean-style K-pop Star Diet

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What’s your SMUTPUNK name?

If you don’t know GET ONE ASAP.
After you get it, please let me know what it is in the comments. Thanks!

The following is a Pinterest Pin Promotion for Triangulum Stain 1 – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildo

What is SMUTPUNK?

Answer: This is smutpunk.

No, No, this is smutpunk.

Are you crazy? THIS is smutpunk. 

FUCK THAT. Everybody knows this is smutpunk

True smutpunk4lyf motherfuckers know this is smutpunk. 

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I need your help

I need you to press this link (while signed in to your twitter) and invite your people to join the LPRTG mailing list! The list offers freebies, news about smutpunk and other erotica, links to giveaways, contest, quizzes, and more.

Press this link to invite your followers to learn more about how to pleasure herself and her partner. Yum!

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Got something important to add to the next bulletin?

Let me know. I’m looking for some guest posts, news, and contests to share with smutpunks.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, said San Esperma di Desgracia

Excelsior!

Bullshit Bullpen No. 12

I’d like to start things off with a silly little rhymed poem:

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Pirate’s Booty Verse

This Treasure Hunt unearthed a Chick Tied to the Booty

Buck naked, so I entered her Cunt

Clearly I wasn’t First to Grab this Cum-Drippy Cutey

Loose From the Action Up Front

this one got Bukkaked Good

a Cum Beret like a Goo Mop Trade Would

 

Still, the Skank had A Phat Asian Ass

As I fucked her she spoke real crass

She said the Blacks say Booty

Asian PAAGs say Whooty

I say they can all choke on Nerve Gas!

 

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chun-li-on-knees

According to sophisticated Internet Searches and Reddit Forums,
having Chun-Li on her knees or doused in baby gravy
will get your site to #1 on google rankings. Is it working?

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cum on titties for Dick N. (plz give me more cum on titties!)

 

Six Smutpunk Stories in one Awesome SMUTPUNK COLLABORATION (an anthology)!

by six bestselling authors. This 38,000-word anthology features Agent Joystick by Bella Shadows, Futanari Roomate Situation by Kella Z. Driel, Driving Stick by Roxy Katt, Dino-Sore by Moctezuma Johnson, and The Return of Roo by Lucian Carter.

Get punked!

The world’s first ever anthology of smutpunk erotica collects six sexy stories from half a dozen twisted authors and slaps them into your hot little hands, absolutely free!

What is smutpunk? Think cyberpunk, add a dollop of spunk, a bit of punk, and a squirt of love potion sixty-nine—and you get the idea! It’s filthy, no-holds barred, all-out erotic wrestling contest—and you’ve got front-row seats:

Feast on the following free sexy beasts:

Agent Joystick by Bella Shadows: An old man laments his initiation as a government assassin, a protein-stealing lady-mech does her nasty deeds, and History is to thank for it all. Agent Joystick details his sextale, from baited hook to sinker.

(Not Quite) Milked by the Yeti by Callie Press: Brendalee Elkins finds that some nekkid pictures of her hawt body have been leakin’ all over the internets. She come right to get them and restore her honor but a Yeti gets in her way.

Futanari Roommate Situation by Kella Z. Driel: Alistair is your typical, diffident British chap, studying at Neo-Tokyo University. Uh-oh! He’s been assigned a futanari roommate! She’s gorgeous, throbbing and keeps undressing in front of him! How long can he keep a stiff upper lip?

The Return of Roo by Lucian Carter: You don’t really belong here. This is a dangerous place. A scary place. Predators lurk here, eager for new prey. This… is #coverthypnotism! Witness the cyber trances of HypnoDom Lucian Carter, and feed your fetish, or find a new one.

Dino-sore by Moctezuma Johnson: Miss Park is a Korean scientist trapped as a housewife until she braves flying to a small island in Latin America where she unearths something big, warm, and throbbing. Magic on the island is making everything bigger. Will she be able to handle it?

Driving Stick by Roxy Katt: In a diesel punk world, one sedate housewife inexplicably grows male genitals. What does she do? Squeeze into a shiny, black rubber uniform and become a chauffeuse of course. But sometimes those without the gear shift do the driving.

What are you waiting for? IT’S FREE SMUT! cum-on-tits Everybody loves to get free smut.

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Look for Andrew Liebling in MJ’s next piece. Will he be a North Korean spy doctor checking new female recruits to see if they’re virgins. Will he be Dr. Engle’s assistant cooking up magic FUTA potions? Stay tuned and find out how he gets in the mix.

 

Specials and Flashing

So, there are some XXXmas Specials including 35% off with a valid coupon code.

Also look out for Flash Sales. When you see the naked tits on the homepage.

They’re on. 

In other words, clothes off means sale’s on.

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This Site and it’s “benefits”

Yes, I know you adore your friends with benefits. Think of this site as one of them. Since 2017 selling smutpunk directly to readers has been the rise. More and more people are buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for smutpunk books while the authors get the majority of profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you. There is also, of course, a subscription available.

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SERVICES FOR WRITERS

Be sure to see the new services for writers. You’ll notice the lovely Shelby Kent-Stewart was able to strike while the iron wasn’t yet unwrapped and procure herself a nice ad spot on the main slider of this website.

See the side bar for more information.

 

InstaFreebie Event 2018

Get Your Book on the Smutpunk InstaFreebie Giveaway. We were getting over 1000 hits per day last time. We should be able to blow that out of the water. Sign up here.

View Form in New Window

 

Dicksucking Skillz Assesment and Evaluation Form

I highly recommend getting your score. If you score high, kudos! But if you however are not in the top twenty percentile, then I suggest you get yourself a copy of the Sex Manual and start your studies.

 

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Shelby Kent-Stewart

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Click the Sign to Follow Shelby on Twitter

I have great respect for the women who continually fight for change. Please friend Shelby Kent-Stewart on twitter if you’d like to contribute to making a difference. Tell her “I am the dragon” and she’ll know MJ sent you. Also, look at her beautiful book covers. I highly suggest you read them. They don’t get sparkling 5-star reviews for nothing.

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Click any of the book covers to learn more about this political activist and contemporary erotica writer.

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Miscellaneous images
(some have links and some don’t. Click at your own risk)

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Hello, Dali by Dave

SMUTPUNK GALLERY

A new post of SMUTPUNK ART will be on display soon. Check back soon and inquire within if you’d like to submit something. 

Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade

What's with the feet?

What’s with the feet? Click the heels to buy the book!

This one is about you. And, HOT DAMN, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.

Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!

 

Polls

Polls are always fun, aren’t they? This site has some MUST ANSWER polls and I am doing monthly polls in conjunction with Linzi’s Angels (formerly known as Linzi’s Lair). This month’s poll is the Dicksucking Skillz Assessment Quiz.

This site has its own polls, which are added to regularly. Enjoy!

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chun-li

SMUTPUNK eats pussy all night. And sometimes in the morning.

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