Talking Dirty in Bed
Talking Dirty is Definitely an Art Form
Some people are quiet in bed, some people are talkative. Some people love dirty words! Some people are easily offended. Before you let the dirty talk rip, make sure you’re in bed with another smart, curse-loving degenerate like yourself!
You’re a dirty cunt! And you love every minute of cock stretching you out.
There’s a good example of what I like to say to my wife in the sack. I wouldn’t say she’s quite a curse-loving degenerate but damn the bitch nasty once her titties out. So, once you get yourself in the company of a nasty fucker, be sure to find pet names for you and your partner(s). Some of the most common are Master, Daddy, Mistress, Goddess, Kitten, Horse Cock, Super Squirter, Cunt, Bitch, Slut, Cum Rag, Nut Drowner, Butt Raper, Bottom Pig, etc. There are also all kinds of pet names for your partners so I won’t go into a super long list here, but if you need more please ask in the comments below and add your favs.
I like to call my wife slut and have her do degrading things like lick my asshole, swallow my cum, and finger herself while I squirt her in the face with a water-gun filled with vanilla yogurt. Tonight I got up behind her on the parlor floor and she told me she felt useless until she had cock in her. That was fun for me. Everybody is a bit different and the only thing that’s really a must is that you really lay it on. You can’t kind of do. You need to ask him to break your uterus and drown you in seventy-three cumblasts, don’t say merely “make love to me.” Now, get up in that ass. Tell him you want to fill the bathtub with jizz and slide around. Hyperbole is sexy. Tell her you’re going to pound that ass until it bleeds and then feed your dick to her when it’s all nasty.
Like Chris Rock says, “you can’t say, excuse me ma’am…I have a request, would you lick my balls.” No. Wrong. You have to grab her and with authority say, “lick my balls, bitch!”
My most successful come-on, no joke, is simply: Kneel down, whore! Sometimes I whisper this gold nugget to chicks that I hope to sleep with at really inopportune date moments, like waiting on line at the movies, or when she’s talking to a girlfriend of hers in a restaurant or at the bar. That sets the tone for my intentions and plants the seed. I also say it to women I’ve never spoken to. I’ll go around a club and say that to fifty women. Often fifty will look at me like I’m nuts (which I love!) and then I can either backtrack and start a normal conversation since the ice is broken or she says something to the effect of, “fuck off creep!” to which I go into my “Oh you’re to good for me to talk with speech” which is a real winner (email me if you’d like the script). You may be thinking, what the fuck? MJ’s crazy. But I’m not. The world is crazy. I’m sane for noticing. See, I’ll show you I’m sound as a pound. I used the number fifty for a reason. If I ask fifty women something I may get shot down by every single one of them, but if I ask one hundred women (especially in a place with alcohol) to do anything (and, yes i mean anything) I will get a yes. I’m not saying they will all say yes. Oh no. Not all, but one out of one hundred will be kneeling down in the bathroom after a drink. Go ahead try it.
Some Great Promotions that I Completely Stand Behind (and in front of):
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