Amazon Amazon.com – Putting your eBook into the Correct Categories

amazon-amazon-com

So you’ve uploaded your book to Amazon but once you go to Amazon.com you see that the categories are not what you wanted. What now?

There seems to be a lot of confusion about categories on Amazon.

People often feel like their books are in the wrong categories, or they don’t know why they are in the categories they find them in. Below  is a great resource to help you use keywords to land your book in the proper place. Being in the wrong category can mean less sales, reviewer complaints, and early onset erectile dysfunction in men and menopause in women. So beware and use the list below to find the categories that are best for your book.

The Category List on Amazon is  a good resource about categories in Amazon. Use this list to find out what categories lead to which categories. This can be quite helpful.

**in case the link above is broken just copy and paste this into your browser: https://kdp.amazon.com/help?topicId=A200PDGPEIQX41

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Presidential Election Day Blues | #ErectionDay2016

Do we really need another literary category subcategory? Why not, smutpunkists? by Emme Hor There are so many literary ‘punks’ these days that it just seems like a buzzword to use in the new age of selling books via keywords. Imagine the Classics: Lolita (Old Man Young Vixen Daddy Age Play Series) or Hamlet (DubCon Paranormal 15th Century Murder/Suicide Crime Thriller Mystery Royalty & Aristocrats), or even Star Wars (Metaphysical and Visionary Galactic Empire Space Marine Clones Incenstuous Paranormal Space Soap Opera Dystopian Sci-Fi Series). So everybody is trying to get on the algorithm’s good sides with creative keyword use, and you now have categories upon categories with subcategories inside categories. Frankly, it has become a mess. If you like muck, then you’re in heaven searching for a book on amazon. If you don’t, you type in your favorite keywords and you’re on with it. So now you have steampunk, cyberpunk, splatterpunk, and a bunch of punks to help you sort through the mess and find something cool and unique that you like. Well, add smutpunk to the list. Smutpunk, really? That sounds awful. Strangely, though, the new term applies to work that isn't bad. It’s erotica with plot that mixes forms from such varied sources as magic realism, science fiction, and Asian kung fu movies. In the same way most other punks use some common thing to glue them together, smutpunk uses the most basic protein of all to create its own panspermia universe, mixing pop-culture, erotica, the Cthulhu mythos, Far East legends, and Non-Western spirituality with Science Fiction, Pulp, and Silver-Age-Comic era elements into a head spinning, ball-busting good time. The idea behind it, formulated originally by Moctezuma Johnson and Callie Press, is to make erotica stand up on its own even if you remove the sex (which these writers admit they sometimes forget to provide) because the plots have other equally important elements. In Halloween 2015 Callie Press’s Butterface was highly-lauded, and Moctezuma Johnson’s Battle for Alien Relish has recently been featured as a kind of B-movie classic on WTF Friday. Smutpunk is just beginning and has only scratched the surface of the its full potential like a Sith lord just beginning to use the dark side for tripping her friends and giggling. Get on the slippery bandwagon and have a taste. Type Smutpunk into Amazon and see what new worlds you get.

Presidential Election Day 2016 – Yikes!

Well, all our worse fears have been stirred up by some serious asshole politics. Most voters no little more than a few sounds bytes, memes, or twitter posts. Very few Americans have a the complex understanding of politics and social justice that we would like. Even the Republican candidate has a very meager grasp on the issues. That said, it’s quite a depressing day and we could really use a little pick me up.

What will help turn this day from such an awful day to something a little more positive? Why SMUTPUNK, of course.

If you want to immerse yourself in politics you can choose from three political satires, two by me and one by Callie Press.

The Presidential Election Satires:

Dump The Futa President

[amazon text=Tonguing Tromp&asin=B01BJ7OSLO]

and Poca Hotits and T. Ronald Dump Sing Dixie 

You may want to just leave the erection behind and have a little fun on the Moctezuma Event or the Erection Day Event.

The main problem with this presidential election, as Genevieve Greene says, is that somebody will be elected. Personally, I think America needs a timeout and to sit in the corner for a few months until everybody calms down.

Bullpen Bulletin #9: Smutpunk Raining Down On Us

bullpen-bulletin

Bullpen Bulletin No. 9 (no. 9, no. 9, do you hear the Beatles? You should!)

Where erotic smutpunk lands on your tongue

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Let’s start with Zak Hardacre

He has fallen on some hard times on FB. These hard times have really opened him up good for a rough eReaming. He’s now all gaped and sore. Luckily, the poor fecker has “hired” a sexy PA by the name of Darcy Dickens to help him post his stuff and keep getting the word out. I say “hired” but really he lured her with his big grammar and long sentence stamina. She’s been kind enough to post some of my work as well, since I’m a big fan of Zak and his sexbomb PA. They seem to like me a bit, too, so I’m including this dude in the bullpen bulletin. His exposure sucks.

Anyways, FB incarceration and trolls are pretty common. Shit, Dr. S. Punk got shut down but Trump (Troll #1) is still up and running. I won’t get into the hypocrisy of social media in depth, but basic point is it sucks the dicks of anyone famous and shits in the eyes of regular people. Yet, we window lickers keep using wiping the shit away and post one more time cause this time it will be different. It won’t. It will always suck. I digress.

Zak and I have had some pretty good chats so I wanted to share one with you. I asked Mr. Hardacre, social media user extraordinaire, a few questions and these are the super private answers [I’m in purple, Zak’s in orange (yes, themed for his incarceration, good catch!)].

So, Guinness or Kilkenny?

Guinness.

Somersby or Magners?

Magners.

Whisky or Rum?

Whisky.

And finally, White, Black, or Asian.

White.

And there you have it. Everything you need to know about this dude. Now be sure to read Male Escort Book 1 “Innocence”

Next is a word about Ashley Shades

I have some little known info about the Contemporary Romance and Erotica writer whom I call Miss Hades. Here are 5 Secrets that Miss Shades shared with me out of her own mouth:

  1. I rarely ever watch porn, but if I do I hate straight porn
  2. I hate my own writing. I’m not really that good, even though I love writing anyway.
  3. When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer who fought for the rights and equal treatment of the underpriviledged.
  4. I was a cheerleader for many years and dream of becoming a choreographer one day
  5. I haven’t even tried half of the things I write about in my stories.
  6. I wear pants a lot, or long skirts (even in 100-degree summer heat) because I hate my legs.
  7. I have a two books that need to be edited, and four more that I am writing.

 

 The Sex Manual

Just in case you haven’t seen it yet, the Sex Manual is out and selling pretty steadily. I don’t think my rude and crude mouth will ever have a bestseller but I do currently have a the-sex-manualhandful of books all selling so I’m thankful for my guerilla warrior sense of success. Thank you for all the dirty fuckers who bought it. And super-rockstar-thank-yous to all the naughty folks who reviewed it! I’m utterly grateful. If you are interested in a little excerpt of the humorous yet useful fun that readers find in this book of sex tips please click How To Suck Dick for a spurt of online pre-cum taste.

When not begging people to read and review the Sex Manual, I have been trying to get people who liked my old locked page to like my new active page. I’m holding a MJ69 (the currentl me on FB) takes over the Old MJ Event. Come see what mayhem we are up to. Thanks.

Posted by Moctezuma Johnson on Monday, November 7, 2016

 

The Viking’s Conquest

Felicity Brandon is tearing up the charts with her top 5 Bestseller hit [amazon text=The Viking’s Conquest&asin=B01MA6N44I]. Give it a read and review! At the time of writing this it’s the #1 Viking Book in the US and Canada. Pretty astounding! She just had to make the bullpen bulletin.

 

Shelby Kent-Stewart

Please like the Shelby Kent-Stewart Author Page:

‘BLESSING’

If all your fantasies came true, would it be a blessing or a curse?

https://shelbykentstewart.com/blessing/

Posted by Shelby Kent-Stewart on Saturday, November 5, 2016

 

Hey, Queen Kegel, Excelsior! Let’s start putting EROTIC PULP of Heroes and Villians! into all our eBooks (natch!) and each bullpen bulletin.

Literary Porn Club, baby! SMUTPUNK for years, big ears! SAN ESPERMA cockslapping fools left and right for Candy Cane–SMOOCH right in your face!–Kegel (Highlight For Your Surprise) and the SUPERhung superHUNK SPaCe GlaDIatorS led by CockSlappicus

Err, I’ve been working on a Deji’i Order with main sidekick Obi-2-Kenobi and his young Wadapan Kenhe Starcrawler that I hope sees the light of day and doesn’t die in “My Drive” on Google Docs. I also have some Dino Porn and Episode Five of Chronicles almost done but it’s the season where my day job makes me a bit nuts for 6-8 weeks so it all may come to a giant jack rabbit of jackshit. Please encourage me to finish before my job finishes me. Pep talks and donations are always welcome. Reviews don’t hurt, eh, either. The best way to keep the smutpunk motor running is by writing reviews. That’s right, reviews. Thanks, subjects of CockSlappicus. ‘Nuff said, your Lord San Esperma.

bullpen-bulletin

CLICK the CHICK’s Pasties or the blue legs to visit the Triangulum Stain Universe. You will never be the same and you will be inoculated from Dildogeddon.

 
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Smutpunk Gifts: Drink up from the solid MJ Mug

smutpunk-gifts

Smutpunk Gifts: High-quality gifts by Moctezuma Johnson

Happy Holidays, SMUTPUNKists! Give the gift of smutpunk for any holiday. I know most writers and readers are avid coffee drinkers, so you may find this a great chance to drink up a little Mo Joe.

Get this high-quality, 15 oz. MJ mug.

You may find some other smutpunk gifts for sale.

 

smutpunk-gifts

 

By the way, fans, please vote for your favorite MJ titles at this SMUTPUNK worth READING goodreads list.

 

 

 

Facebook Event: Ticket to Moctezuma LXIX FB Event

Facebook Event: Please Download Your Ticket and SHARE the event link

Facebook-Event-Ticket

Go ahead and download your ticket (Right Click on Ticket Image and Save) and share on your FB page with a link to the event so others know about it. Please tag me so I can put you in the running for some swag.

MJ69 Overtakes old MJ Link: https://www.facebook.com/events/1222920997798445/

Let me know if you have an questions or if you’d like to promote something of yours. Thanks so much for all your support. Love you depraved lovelies! Rock on!