Well here’s your Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin, kiddies!
Well, you’ve Chosen Your Own Kink already with my last book. What about this time? Would you like some sexual instruction compiled over 29 years of fucking ravenously? Behold, the Sex Manual by MJ. A veritable how to fuck, con, convince, coerce, and cohabitate. All you need to know from “Getting Your Girl to Give you Deepthroat” to “Ways to Be Slutty for your Man” to “What’s the best chemical compound to make copious amounts of FAKE CUM” found in this tidy little bedroom companion book. It’s a must have if you have a penis, pussy, or both.
Smutpunk on Skates by Emme Hor – Print Book coming 2017.
The book will be a combination of all four short books that were penned by Emme and edited by me. I am working on the cover now and it’s pretty damn hot. Want a look? Of course you do because you know that there’s a mosque, yoga pants, a hot asian chick in pink glittery roller-skates, and a butt plug. I commissioned my Italian buddy to truly paint the fucker so it came great. Want a look? Of course you do so be sure you’re on the LPRTG mailing list to get notified when it leaves “My Documents” and enters the public space.
Instruction Manual for Sex tentatively titled THE SEX MANUAL
It’s not quite out, but you can see the SEX MANUAL home page (I’m banned from Pre-Order on the Zon. Why? Because I’m banned from nearly everything. Thus I have my own website and my own erotic smutpunk bulletin!) It will be out soon and be sure to be on the LPRTG mailing list so you get notified of the release. Or just comment below, saying, “I want to be part of your Review Team” and I’ll get a Free Copy into your hands. Oh yeah! SMUTPUNK4LYF, baby! This book is really a lot of fun but it also happens to contain some good ideas (says who? says me? oh, and my editor said so!). It guarantees safe, fun, useful sexual sessions for you and your partner(s). I so guarantee it that I stand by a 100% Money Back Guarantee if you don’t have at least one awesome session thanks to reading.
Quick Marketing Tip: Promo some other people. Feel free to promote MJ or Emme. Good Karma rewarded freely!
You have to be part of the SMUTPUNK MOVEMENT. I mean, you have #smutpunkforchange #smutpunkeloquence #smutpunkelegance #smutpunk4lyf all at your disposal (and of course the uber-popular LPRTG hashtag). When you hang with me and my SMUTPUNK CREW you get free books from me and Emme, you get the always informative and low-calorie Bullshit Bulletins, you get poems, artwork, and sex tips. What else do you need to be hot and bothered from meaty morning to nipple night?
Dr S. Punk asks
why am I such a sucker for watching young chicks in their twenties with shaved bush and perky ass tits get fucked in the ass? I don’t know, doctor, I just don’t know.
I thought I’d share the flyer from the Match of the Century, [[insert]] which will be an entry in the upcoming SMUTPUNK LEXICON. Be sure to get on the LPRTG mailing list to get your important information. There’s weekly sex tips (always useful), free books, special events, and now vocabulary building lexicon entries.
Mystk Knight’s website (Aka Mystk Ghoti)
#SexManual #MensHealth #Impotence #Men #Fitness #Diet #Health — these are some of the hashtags that I’ll be pitching my new book to. Wish me luck and help me out. All ideas welcome. Feel free to post on FB for me since I no longer use. #FA – FacebookersAnonymous – Oh, shit, wait! That’s not true. I am so all up in The Facebook again under my wife’s name and now even my fucking own.
Find me on FB at…
Smutpunk and Literary Erotica (which is essentially the erotic smutpunk bulletin on Facebook & quite useful)
Fuck it, just click them all and open up little windows and like the whole lot of them. Type “Stalked” into the comments and get yourself a free book filled with sex tips and humor.
Interview with Sexy and Spectacular Shelby Kent-Stewart
Shelby was nice enough to withstand my asinine questions and put her grace and class all over my smutpunk. She sometimes calls me the #SmutpunkScholar and I call her #SmutpunkElegance. Everything she touches exudes class and style. I think even if she was injecting me with an HIV-laced syringe, she would inject it gracefully, like a St. Petersburg ballerina.
New SMUTPUNK Poem: Ana
She calls herself Pussy
that’s her name
I call my baby, Pussy
I met her in go-go bar
on her knees
making great eye contact
like wormholes led to her irises
like butter could be freid on her butt crack
like shows were filmed in her cleavage
I met her in a go-go bar
where GIs once roamed
who had long retreated into the hillsides
with the terrorists
I met her in a go-go bar
had her lick my balls
right there from where I sat
on the bar stool
bottle of spiced rum in my hand
more in my gut
my hair afroing out like gluttony
she tongued my asshole
while i admired the tits on the go-go dancer
on the stage
while my buddy lit another Marlboro Red
while a second girl put her hand around my cock
You take it up the ass? I asked the ass-licker
Her eyes were wide open and pretty. She nodded
Great. Let’s go to my room. What’s your name?
Use the comments below for “Stalked” or “I want to be part of your REVIEW TEAM” (see above for more info). You can also use the comments section to berate me with all the curse words your vocabulary contains. Other uses are looked at with suspicion. Thanks for reading. ‘Nuff said.
–The Management of the Desgracia
When linking back to this page please put the word “smutpunk” in the link. For example, “MJ’s Smutpunk” or “Smutpunk Site“
Please note that BB-8 stands for Bullshit Bulletin, which I’d like to expand to the Bullshit Bullpen Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin
her necklace is beautiful
the sun is catching the silver
flashing it into my eyes
morse code of cumshot
it’s saying to get her tonsils
beside the convention hall
where we had queued up before
now cars amble by
people on bikes are across the highway
by the Hudson river
a helicopter takes off nearby
her fit ass looks hot
and round sitting on her heels
“that’s it, babe. Deep.”
Her necklace is beautiful
Her throat muscles
milk out the cumshot
I shoot some into her mouth
pull out and shoot more
right onto the smutpunk necklace
we both smile
she’s kneeling with my cum
on her necklace
and we are happy
Brand Spanking New: smutpunk.com
Hey, lovelies, have no fear
the smutpunk wiki has arrived here
So please, my dear, become a peer
as we all need S. punk in our ears
Please contribute. It’s fun and easy. If you’re SMUTPUNK 4Lyf you will want to show your love and get adulation from the Merry Band of SMUTPUNKists, MOJO and the FUNKY GET S.PUNK CREW (yes, say that to the tune of Sgt. Pepper’s, of course). Let me know via comment, email, carrier pigeon if there’s any trouble with crossed wiki wires.
Cause, as they say, smutpunk grabs erotica by the futa balls and feeds it to Nyarlathotep.