Getting along with your partner can be difficult
It’s been a long day. Things aren’t all fun and games anymore. There’s a child to raise, a cat to keep alive, an apartment to take care of, friends to entertain, parents to acquiesce. It’s not all erotica. But it’s Saturday night and she’s laying face down on the love seat with her little panties riding up the crack of her ass. I get on her and rub her back and neck, which she loves. This always results in a very romantic session with lots of kissing and pussy-eating. I move from her neck to her feet. I rub her feet. After I hear lots of moaning, I start to rub her ass cheeks. She suddenly gets up and announces, “I’m going to sleep!”
Personally, and maybe I’m biased, I think my life is just lame. Oops, Freudian slip. I meant to say that I think my wife is lame. I mean she’s pretty nice and easy going when things are going well, gives some of the best head out there (there’s a lot of awful head out there), but she’s a raging cunt when she’s angry and she makes the same mistakes over and over again. All I want is a slight learning curve. Oh, and a steady diet of sex.
Is that too much to ask?
I don’t say that with sarcasm or bitterness. I’m really asking. What’s a healthy amount of sex for a couple laced with a zillion other needling responsibilities?
There’s a great scene in Annie Hall by Woody Allen that has a man and a woman each talking privately to their psychologists. They are both complaining about the their marriage and the psychologists ask how often they have sex. One considers it “Hardly Ever” and the other “Constantly” and they both say “three times a week”.
So how does a couple reconcile these massively different perceptions?
Make Sure You Learn What Turns Your Woman On
Whether you need to write it on your hand, keep a notebook handy, or what, learn and use what gets your woman going. It may be as simple as prancing around with your big cock out or as subtle as rubbing the inside of her elbow, or it may require a complex algorithm of dinner, music, lighting, and writing poetry together. Each woman is different and you need to study yours and map out her pleasure centers emotionally, mentally, and physically. Remain open and flexible to changes in your relationship. The very worst thing couples can do, even couples with spectacular sex lives, is get in a rut. Boredom is the enemy. Keep it fresh and lively.
Use toys and sluttify her but also be romantic and charm her. You have to keep her guessing. Keep her excited. Keep unlocking aspects of her that are tightly locked away. Make her into everything that she’s dreamed but is too scared to be.
- rub her feet
- stroke her hair
- rub the back of her neck
Don’t (when being romantic — you’ll get your chance at another time)
- suddenly grab her tits
- shove her head to make her get on her knees
My wife was laying face down on the ottoman. I rubbed each foot for ten minutes, then I caressed her back. She moaned as I got to the back of her neck and I thought soon I’d be stretching that pussy. She got up suddenly and walked out of the room, murmuring, “I’m going to sleep.”
She definitely is lame. I feel like I’m getting out of the line of crazy fire most days. I mean, as soon as I walk outside I see hot women in sundresses with their big tits on display, and girls with long legs walking in their hot pants and short skirts. The more she doesn’t give up her ass nor kneel and suck the more I flirt, smile, and make jokes with all these springtime sexpots. I’m trying not to cheat but this girl of mine is a grumpy pain in the ass. I love to complain but this is just wrong. There’s nothing about this that is better than single life. Nothing.
The Consequence is Rough Fucking
This leads me to get angry so that when she finally acquiesces and fucks me I’ll be quite rough with her throat, gagging her brutally, and then write Dumb Asian Fuck Toy on her chest and Holes to Use on her belly and Ugly Bukkake Slut on her ass. Also I will write Fuck Pig #129 on her. Why #129? Because I’ve written on 128 fuckpigs before her. The funny thing between my wife and I is that compared to how many men she’s fucked in her lifetime, I’ve fucked more women up the ass.
Too bad, slut
She doesn’t like being called an Asian Fuck Pig for some reason. She covers her ears when I say it but still spreads her legs and tells me how big it is while she orgasms, grinding her pussy against me. All this pent up sexual frustration is hammering away at her cunt.
So this is the deal: a temperamental woman who is a prude and a slut and a brain that is getting overly-sexed up an unable to deal with rain checks. It certainly could be worse.
Plug for a Great Site: Is it hairy or shaved? Can you guess a muff before you see it?