Bullshit Bulletin #11 – Smutpunk Collab and on Skates y en espanol #LPRTG

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Bullshit Bulletin #11

 

SMUTPUNK ON SKATES is LIVE!

 

Smutpunk on Skates by Emme Hor Book Description

Heather is a lovely young lady.

No, not really.

Heather is a hot Asian chick who has a thing for roller-skates and yoga pants. She’s also obsessed with white, err, sticks and dominant men. All she wants is the ‘one that got away, but not everything is as it seems. Some kinky smutpunkery is underfoot. Games are being played. Heather will have to wage a new kink-warfare to empower her inner Queen Bitch.

Who’s the player? And who’s being played? That remains to be seen.

Get a ring-side view of Heather’s heart panties and her spinning glittery roller-skates.

Let the games begin.

NOTE: This book has all the taboo fun you’ve come to expect from smutpunk erotica. It features humiliation, cuckolding, roller-skates, exercise, diet and fitness, menage, raceplay, MILFs, and roleplay.

No Cliffhanger, No Bullshit — Nothing but mothafuckin’ smutpunk! 

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In other SMUTPUNK News: Word around the campfire is that MJ’s Chronicles 5 is almost finished

Also, Pop and Lollie (aka Teabagged by the Sentient Lollipop) is done. There will be a few ways to buy this, including getting a Subscription to all the naughtiest Moctezuma can throw at you. Wait, err, what? That’s right, fuckers! MJ by Subscription. For a few pennies, you can get access to an endless stream of MJ. All the newest, naughtiest—fuck naughty!—filthiest smutpunk on the planet.

Learn More about Getting a Subscription to MJ

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Check out the Smutpunk Erotica Collab

It features Six Smutpunks Telling Stories:

Get punked!

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The world’s first ever anthology of smutpunk erotica collects six sexy stories from half a dozen twisted authors and slaps them into your hot little hands, absolutely free!

What is smutpunk? Think cyberpunk, add a dollop of spunk, a bit of punk, and a squirt of love potion sixty-nine—and you get the idea! It’s filthy, no-holds barred, all-out erotic wrestling contest—and you’ve got front-row seats:

Feast on the following free sexy beasts:

Agent Joystick by Bella Shadows: An old man laments his initiation as a government assassin, a protein-stealing lady-mech does her nasty deeds, and History is to thank for it all. Agent Joystick details his sextale, from baited hook to sinker.

(Not Quite) Milked by the Yeti by Callie Press: Brendalee Elkins finds that some nekkid pictures of her hawt body have been leakin’ all over the internets. She come right to get them and restore her honor but a Yeti gets in her way.

Futanari Roommate Situation by Kella Z. Driel: Alistair is your typical, diffident British chap, studying at Neo-Tokyo University. Uh-oh! He’s been assigned a futanari roommate! She’s gorgeous, throbbing and keeps undressing in front of him! How long can he keep a stiff upper lip?

The Return of Roo by Lucian Carter: You don’t really belong here. This is a dangerous place. A scary place. Predators lurk here, eager for new prey. This… is #coverthypnotism! Witness the cyber trances of HypnoDom Lucian Carter, and feed your fetish, or find a new one.

Dino-sore by Moctezuma Johnson: Miss Park is a Korean scientist trapped as a housewife until she braves flying to a small island in Latin America where she unearths something big, warm, and throbbing. Magic on the island is making everything bigger. Will she be able to handle it?

Driving Stick by Roxy Katt: In a diesel punk world, one sedate housewife inexplicably grows male genitals. What does she do? Squeeze into a shiny, black rubber uniform and become a chauffeuse of course. But sometimes those without the gear shift do the driving.

What are you waiting for? IT’S FREE SMUT! 

 

Oye, Mexicanos, Espanolos, Latinos! Ciencia ficción erótica Smutpunk moctezuma-johnson-en-espanol-no-puedo-creerlo-smutpunk69b-mexico

Ya tenemos los consejos seminales del sexo en espanol para mi gente que prefiere leer en espanol.

Gracias a Luis y Daverba por su ayuda! 

Voy a traducir mi libro “Choose Your Own SEXcapades”. Te voy a decir cuando esta listo. Si me quiere ayudar como un equipo del calle, cuentame. Necesito gente que habla espanol para mandar tweets, compartir en FB, y leer y revisar en Amazon y Goodreads. Así que únete a mí en smutpunk4lyf! Gracias.

Moctezuma Johnson and Emme Hor are the King and First Lady of SMUTPUNK

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Moctezuma Johnson and Emme How are the King and First Lady of SMUTPUNK (find the Queen of SMUTPUNK in her own friendly, s. punk-covered dominion). We just wanted to give you a quick taste of smutpunk fun.

Moctezuma Johnson’s SMUTPUNK vs. Emme Hor’s SMUTPUNK

 

Bullshit Bulletin for SMUTPUNKs #10 – Return of the Callie

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Bullshit Bulletin for SMUTPUNKs – Bulletin No. 10

Callie Press is back with a vengeance!  She’s written like 45 books in the last hour and started blogging and making movies and doing all kinds of awesome stuff. Awesome. She’s on youtube (links and embedded video below) doing incredible work when not writing amazing stuff at her Queen of Smutpunk blog. She’s been writing these very useful posts for self-published authors covering grammatical points, how to use editors and beta readers correctly, and more.

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I’m also back but with less vengeance than Callie. My day job takes over my life every November and December, and now I’m kind of returning to normal. I have a few books in the pipeline, including Chronicles of a Humiliation Season Two (yippee ki yay ki yo), Dino-sore, and something about the Deji’i Order tentatively titled STAR WHORES (say that in your head in the voice of James Earl Jones, of course).

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I need your help

I need you to press this link (while signed in to your twitter) and invite your people to join the LPRTG mailing list

Press this link to invite your followers to join the LPRTG fun! There are Freebies from SMUTPUNKs and shit, there are sex tips, there are poems, there are photos, and there may be some finance and hairstyling tips. So give us your email in exchange for Literary PULP Raw Talented Groupie fun! In case you didn’t catch it the LPRTG abbreviation is staying but the Literary Porn tag has been updated. Maybe it will mutate again one day. SMUTPUNK doesn’t rest on its laurels [[tkttkt fact check]]. It rather suck a futa dick.erotic-smutpunk

 

MJ’s next book should be a good one

Chronicles 5! It’s being written right now, finally. I know. I rested on my laurels because I’m a dumb shit. I would apologize but it’s like telling you to be taller or something. Dumb shit is just my way. Resting is another thing I like to do, especially after head.

 

Smutpunk on Skates

Emme’s series has gotten a makeover and a bundle. The bundle is called SMUTPUNK on SKATES (you can see the cover in the header up top). Check out all the NEW PULPY COVERS right fucking here.

Also check out the NEW SMUTPUNK ON SKATES VIDEO PROMO. This is must-see BoobTube.Cum TV.

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Quick-Fire Interviews with HL37 (a recent smutpunk addition) and Patrick Khayler.

Click their names with the superheroes to see what they said.

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You need a Callie Press Joint, they knock the SMUTPUNK loose from your eyelashes.

Join her by subscribing and watching her playlist or watch one here:

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A Moctezuma Johnson Movie:

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Follow MJ’s movies by following Miss Punk E. Schmooster (as he was banned from youtube and uploading movies years ago). If you want to find his channels you’re going to have get him on xvideos. However, for now follow Punk E. instead. She’s the head PA (right, a PA who gives head to all of us — male and female and everything in between) promoting the S.PUNK.

Have you gotten your introduction letter from MJ?

Get your introduction letter from MJ?

 

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What’s your SMUTPUNK name?

If you don’t know GET ONE ASAP.

 

What is SMUTPUNK?

Answer: This is smutpunk.

 

Link to Callie’s Essential Publishing Tips

If you’re an indie writer these are posts that you NEED to read. Callie’s releasing a new one every Sunday and the indie-writer community is incredibly grateful. She makes us all better.

Final thoughts and mailing list info

What you’re not on the most exciting mailing list of 2017! It’s got sex tips, games, freebies, giveaways, contests, and one-on-one banter with the King of SMUTPUNK. What more could you ask for from a mailing list? No really? You have more? Then let me know, but by all means, get your ass stuffed by my throbbing and vibrant outbox.

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Got something important to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, said San Esperma di Desgracia

Excelsior!

 

 

Moctezuma Johnson – Erotic Smtupunk Writer – The Story of Moctezuma LXIX

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A Letter from Moctezuma Johnson

Dear Reader:

Ok, first my name: Moctezuma. Why LXIX? Well, the “famous” Moctezuma is actually Moctezuma II. He’s the one that let Hernan Cortez into the Nahuatl city of Tenochtitlan and inadvertently caused the fall of the Aztec Empire. I come way later and with erotic smutpunk in my splattering cum and blood. So I am installment number 69. I write erotica but not just erotica. If you want the dime store brand of erotica with poor comma usage, name brands and billionaires dropped like birdshit from pigeons, and the same old pre-made cover art then I’m not your man. My erotica comes laced with hallucinogens, truth, Cthulhu, color, and science fiction. It’s smut with smarts. If you have a low IQ save yourself the trouble and don’t even bother trying to read me. Now, those of you still with me are my main bad-ass motherfuckers. And I’m all yours. I’m loyal to a fault (wait until you hear some of the mistakes I’ve made thanks to that!) and I’m used to being on the outside looking in. I’m weird and smart and attract all kinds of people from any background as long as you fit one requirement: be your weird ass self. Once you’ve got that box ticked off I’ll bet you love my work and I will love you as a reader and we will both wonder why the fuck you we hadn’t found each other before.

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The Lady in Red from ‘Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired

Now, let me tell you, writing isn’t easy. It’s hard to find the time with a family, a remunerative job that takes me all over the world, and a penchant for getting distracted by just about any—. What was I saying? I love hearing from readers, so please drop me a line and say hi. I would love to know what else your reading and what’s your most favorite book of all time. Mine is If On a Winter Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino. Ask me tomorrow and you’ll probably get a different answer, but that book will always be in my top three. It’s immense.

The coolest moment of my writing life so far has been either selling thirty-seven books in one day (I’ve had 175 downloads in a day but that was on freebies so that doesn’t count) or being interviewed in Spanish by the now defunct Cumshot Village (who then translated the interview back into English for their readers). I have to get a link to that up on my site.

I have been helped along the way by a number of writers and artists, some of whom I won’t name out of consideration for their privacy, and others who would be happy to be named like Shelby Kent-Stewart, Christina Mandara, Brent Millis (aka Made in DNA), Zak Hardacre, Kat Crimson, Mystk Night, Mz Patchouli, Reed James, Kella Z. Driel ,Jacintha Topaz, Bernard Foong, and Callie Press. These are incredible writers each is his or her own right. Also, each one of them knows way more about being a writer than I do, but I’m coming along—not bad at all for a Mexican-American who works 13-15 hours a week in a pretty high-octane day job while raising a son. Sleep? Nah, sleep is for other people. People who don’t have stories to tell to smart people who love cursing and hearing it straight, and gay, but never fibbed. Even my fiction is truthful. In fact, I considered releasing The Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired Series as a memoir since just about everything in it has happened to me, but I wanted to protect some of the people involved, namely my wife who stabbed me, so I opted to call it fiction but it barely is. I joke that realism has no place in erotica because all the stories would be people alone with their toys pleasuring themselves, but that isn’t true. A lot of us have vibrant sex lives and that just fuels us to want more.

Thanks for taking a moment to join Moctezuma LXIX’s LPRTG and get to know a bit about me. I’ll be looking for your response with your favorite book!

Rimmies,

Moctezuma Johnson (King SMUTPUNK)

 

ps: Join bit.ly/EmailLPRTG to get a Freebie and introduction to the wonderful world of smutpunk.

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Panties Pulled Down Equals Moctezuma Johnson

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Thanks to Naya Free, I have given a lot of thought to brand imaging and I know what I would like my brand to look like: panties pulled down.

Below I will give you a couple of examples of what I mean. When you see such images, please think Moctezuma Johnson.

There is just something so sexy when a woman I am about to have sex with pulls her panties down and reveals her honey pot. I just love pulling them down, love watching her pull them down, love seeing someone else pull them off. It’s always a thrill every single time.

 

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The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom

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The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom

 

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The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom

Why are you rubbing two sticks together in the bedroom? Get a flamethrower!

Ever wished your partner came with a small pamphlet on how to operate correctly? Well, now you have it. Moctezuma spent nearly a decade running a bar, writing erotica, and blogging. He gathered a lot of information. So you want to have mind-blowing sex but all you know is what your priest and Cosmo told you? You poor thing. Well, fret no more. Let Moctezuma Johnson share his research in this in-depth, self-help book. He has found out what’s plaguing most bedroom partners. It’s simply intimidation and insecurity. So many fans have asked him how to be better, sexier, and more experienced. Moctezuma speaks openly and honestly offering a series of very practical solutions for men and women. This non-fiction, how-to book is told with humor (a necessity for the bedroom) and compassion.

Whether male or female or transgender, The Sex Manual is the book you wish came with every person you’ve dated. Well, wish no more. It’s out, so add it to your kindle. Just the fact that you’re reading this description is proof that you’re ready to improve and you’re almost halfway there. This book will take you the rest of the way. It’s filled with ideas, game plans, tips, and list of clothing, toys, and poems to spice up your sex life.

smutpunk.com – the new wiki for you to explore and enjoy the many side of S. Punk #smutpunk #LPRTG

Brand Spanking New: smutpunk.com

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Hey, lovelies, have no fear

the smutpunk wiki has arrived here

So please, my dear, become a peer

as we all need S. punk in our ears

 

Please contribute. It’s fun and easy. If you’re SMUTPUNK 4Lyf you will want to show your love and get adulation from the Merry Band of SMUTPUNKists, MOJO and the FUNKY GET S.PUNK CREW (yes, say that to the tune of Sgt. Pepper’s, of course). Let me know via comment, email, carrier pigeon if there’s any trouble with crossed wiki wires.

Cause, as they say, smutpunk grabs erotica by the futa balls and feeds it to Nyarlathotep.

 

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Click Melania for Direct SMUTPUNK access.

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MJ’s mini is bigger than most #LPRTG

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You can't fake the Smutpunk or can you? Now, I’m not one to tell you what to do but you MUST read the NAYA FREE interview of me on her site. That’s an order, soldier.

This interview is what she calls a “mini” interview, which means even she doesn’t have any idea what the hell is going on. It’s a good lot of fun with a little bit of insight sneaked in for good measure.

Click the Sexy Newsgirl for the interview and she may remove her clothes. Enjoy!

Naked Naya Free Interviews Big Dick of Moctezuma Johnson

Click to Make the Interviewer Naked and Interview MJ

 

Review Request | #LPRTG #EARTG #MrBrtg

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Review Request: Please leave a few words about any and all of my books

Thank you for supporting me and my brand of SMUTPUNK. You’ve probably heard that I have crawled

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I bare my soul to you and thus this review request seems fair to me

out from under a rock to pen a Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade. I’m looking to gather reviews for this book since, it seems, that reviews really do help the Zon feature a book more prominently. If you’ve read it, please leave a review. Any short review will suffice; even “It wasn’t bad” or “I really liked it” will be enough. If you want to go into more depth, that’s awesome. I’m told that the more reviews the better, so please help. Thanks so much. Let me know if you would like a free review copy of the Choose Your Own Kink or any other book. If you have KU you can read Choose Your Own Kink free.

Rimmies,

Moctezuma

 

ps: I bare my soul to you, so I thought the GIF was appropriate!