Sex Tip No. 13 – How to Score an Awesome Book Boyfriend in Real Life

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How to Score a Book Boyfriend Live and In the Flesh

Three Cockish Tips to Get the Man of Your Dreams to Appear in front of your Eyes

It has come to my attention that 60% of the women out there would prefer a book boyfriend to a real one. That’s an interesting fact. I started thinking about why I have fucked some many women and something occured to me. I usually try to have a deep converstation with a woman who I am meeting. I want to meet on the level. Usually, though, I find she’s not up to the task and then change gears to just trying to take advantage of her, which she is often game for. It’s almost like fucking is easier than talking. However, on the rare occasions when the two meet. You have a sizzling chemistry. I think that’s really what most of the women out there are looking for, the meeting of brains and brawn in one package. Well, from what I spy looking around, achieving that is a two way street and while men are sometimes to blame for dropping the ball, there are things you women can do better too. Here are three easy steps to finding a man as great as your ideal book boyfriend in the flesh: read, share, and eliminate the noise.

You need to read. The things is, when I look around FB most people are just reading the same old tired genre fiction. Yes, I look down on that. You need to open your horizons and actually read stuff of merit. I write erotica. I know it’s crap. I can vouch for that. I’m not saying every book isn’t worth reading. Many books are great. However, so feed the soul and become the kind of woman that a great man wants takes a little more than reading a series of one wank wonders. Read some philosophy, read some scientific treatises, read some literature. One of the reasons I am such a slow reviewer is that I read one erotica for every ten to fifteen other books I read. I like science (if you don’t know where to start, try Watson & Crick’s Double Helix, science-fiction (try Foundation by Isaac Asimov), and literature (try Cosmicomics by Italo Calvino) the most, but there’s a wide range of topics to read.

Next, to score yourself an amazing book boyfriend live and in the flesh, share posts. Share other writers, share what you love. Share good stuff. And cut out this inspirational bullshit (see B.A. Ro’lyin for what NOT TO DO, lol. Sorry, babe!). Being cute won’t get you jackshit in this life filled with assholes, backstabbers, and republicans. You need to be a hustler making moves. You need to actively employ that genius. You need firepower on the tongue and chili powder in the soul. If you prepare your brain-soul-loin connect properly, you don’t need some bullshit meme to tell you how to live or encourage you to keep doing what you already know. Not if you’re a smutpunk. And I know you’re a smutpunk, or why the fuck else would you be on this blog reading this shit? Right!? So get to it, share smutpunk and romance and all the good shit you love and build your network.

Last, cut the noise. Facebook is a good example of how there’s so much noise out there and so much of it is bad for you. There’s fake news, contradicting half-baked memes, religious quotes, romantic posts, and other complete mumbo jumbo. You scroll quickly through and think it isn’t infecting your brain, but it is. It’s a fucking virus. Beware! My advice, if you want to make a deep connection with a person that is rewarding mentally and physically, is shut the noise down and concentrate.

I’m not sure this really constitutes a sex tip. Maybe I have this in the wrong category. In fact, I’m not sure this is a tip at all. Maybe it’s a life hack. Maybe it’s a note to self to focus. I guess the point is that a book boyfriend (or girlfriend, of course) isn’t going to come to an undeveloped person. You need to cultivate what you are. Let me help.

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Two Books: Give Good Head and The Sex Manual

Read these two and learn How to Please any Man or Woman

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The Original SMUTPUNK DUO share what they know in two funny, short books about how to have sex better. There are many innuendos, tips, and general attitude adjustments that can help you score and keep (or discard) all the partners you want by keeping him, her, and them satisfied. 

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Eating Ass | #SexManual #LPRTG #HowTo

Weekly Sex Tip #2 – Eating Ass

Last week I wrote about getting your woman stimulated by kissing the back of her neck and running your tongue down her spine. After kissing her like that and getting her going, I suggest you lick her pussy from behind. But, if you’re a freak like me, lick from her neck down her back and then lick between her asscheeks until your face is buried in her ass. There’s no greater feeling than being between her ass cheeks. Flick your tongue on her asshole. Then bury yourself in there. Get that tongue up in that ass. I love eating ass. And she will too. If she’s a kinky freak, she’ll probably love it. Even if she doesn’t love it, it will be a memorable experience. If she hates it, give her walking papers and kick her to the curb.

As far as position, I recommend that you have her face down on the bed with her ass up in the air doggy style. That gives you a really great window to get in between those asscheeks and hit the bullseye with gusto.

After you give that ass a good licking, it will be all covered in spit. If it’s not, than you didn’t lick it nearly enough. Licking ass is a great pre-cursor to anal. That said, don’t forgo the lube just because there’s some spit. There’s never too much lube. Get the lube if you’re going to go the anal route. It’s not a must to do anal here, of course. A good hard doggy-style fucking may be more than enough to have her gripping the sheets and yelling your name.

 

Next tip: Properly Preparing an Ass

Previous Tip: Kiss the Back of Her Neck

Sex Tip: Kiss the Back of Her Neck | #SexManual #SexTip #LPRTG

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Weekly Sex Tip #1

Each woman is different, this is rule number one. You may find a few who behave the same way. I’ve even had runs where five to ten like the same soft circular stroking of the clit with the soft pad of my middle finger and then the next chick I’m in bed with wants to have her pussy finger fucked hard while I twist her nipples with all my strength. So there may be patterns and tendencies, but ultimately you need to watch and listen to your partner and pick up on visual clues that she’s into something. If not, scrap it.

One thing that I find the majority of women do like is having their necks kissed and licked. Something about behind behind her and letting your lips rub against her soft, smooth skin gets her excited. You should see goosebumps or some other sign that you’re getting to her. Move to her ear and lick. Then softly bite her neck like you’re wolves. When she offers her neck to you, she’s showing she trusts you so don’t draw blood (unless that’s her fetish). Just kiss her romantically.

My wife has an amazing scalloped back so I follow the sensual lines from the back of her neck down her spine all the way to her ass crack. Then when she’s wet as a splash pond, I take her from behind.

Next sex tip: Eating Ass

How to convince your girlfriend to give up her ass | #InstructionalSeries #SexManual #HowToSex

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Anal (How to convince your girlfriend to give up her ass) – Part of the How to Series

Part of the How-to Instructional Series by Moctezuma Johnson

How can you not want to give this juicy ass anal?

First, if you’re easily offended, I don’t suggest that you read this (unless you’re a masochist and want to feel offended). Now, for those of you still with me, this is the most useful article you may ever read.

Every time I approach my girlfriend with my desire to defile her asshole, to rip her sphincter up, to make the slut into an anal whore, to sodomize her until her Montgomery bumps bloom, I get the same answer: “tomorrow.” Then tomorrow I get a reprise of the “no” refrain and wonder if I’m in some kind of endless no-anal loop. It’s depressing. I’m stuck in an endless promise of tomorrow. It’s like a bad link that redirects and redirects.

I know that in many ways she means well: she wants to please me, doesn’t want to disappoint me, yet isn’t sure she can tolerate taking my big cock up her ass. How can I change her mind? How can I make her want it?

I am no fool. I understand that it hurts her to take cock up in through the out door, but I also know that sometimes she’ll do it for me. Thus, I must figure out what’s the difference between getting her ass and having it denied me.

SETTING UP ANAL SEX

“It’s depressing. I’m stuck in an endless promise of tomorrow. Stuck in a no-anal loop.”

There is a lot of skill involved in getting her to let your big cock up her tight ass. It’s no small matter. It hurts, it can leave her constipated, sore, and walking a bit strange. It scares her, and it’s one session without the sure pleasure of clitoral stimulation. So you need to do a few things, most of them unrelated with sex. First, you need to addict her to all that princess stuff you are capable of. Get her dependent on your compliments, little baby words, and whatnot. Then pull it away. Subconsciously, make her aware that you could start up a relationship with someone else, and make her realize that she needs all that sugar that drips effortlessly out of your mouth. Subtly, make the connection that if she gives up her ass, she’ll get more sugar than she’s ever seen. Note, this must be done subtly, subconsciously, or she’ll feel cheap and feel like you’re trying to use or disrespect her. If she catches on to what you’re up to, you’re in a shitpile of trouble. So do it right.

Example (a very simplistic example):

“You’re my little princess, baby,” you say and stroke her hair romantically.

She says, “I love it when you talk to me like that.”

You, imagining your cock up her ass, blurt, “Why don’t you spread that asshole open so I can fuck it?”

She pulls away and looks at you like you’re a dirty pervert. Which, of course, you are.

as opposed to

“You want to be my little princess, baby?’ You stroke her hair romantically.

“Of course.”

“I want to be as close to you as possible.” Massage her. I mean all of her, don’t just go sticking your fingers in her asshole. Massage her elbows, her knees, the balls of her feet, her temples, her neck, her lower back, and then her ass-cheeks. Kiss her neck and ears gently. This is the best part for her. Don’t think the best part for her is when her tight sphincter has to open up to allow something in where it’s more accustomed to going out. Show her she can trust you to be soft and gentle. Show her that anal is more intimate and deeper than other kinds of sex. Yes she may want you to fuck her ass like a beast later, but now is all about trust. Show her you can be entrusted with her delicate ass. Her trust in you will overcome the fear that’s holding her back. Now you are ready to see if this is your chance. As you massage her asscheeks spread them open and let your fingers graze against her pussy lips and her anus. If she doesn’t wiggle away, you can stick one finger in gently and say: “You can be my little princess.” This makes the connection between princess and ass-stimulation (often the essential link). Simply say: “I’ll be gentle, don’t worry.”

(see the difference from the first example?)

This is the key: set up a relationship where she feels like she may lose you and/or your sugary love if she doesn’t keep you happy. Then make her feel safe and not scared by her decision to trust you. Once she’s going to give it to you don’t get all out of control. Be slow, rub her asshole, lick it, lube it up. Take your time with everything and when you start, don’t force it in. Let her come back into it. Getting the head in is the hardest part for her. At this point, follow all conventional anal sex wisdom. This you can look up. My service to you is the mental part: the persuasion/coercion of your girlfriend/wife. This is where I excel. I want to share my successes with you.

Now, once you’re all the way up her ass, she is all yours. There’s no turning back for her, so fuck her ass as hard as you like and tell her that she’s your anal pig.

Good luck!

Ass Property of Moctezuma Johnson warmed up with a White Board Marker - How to get Anal Sex

Ass Property of Moctezuma Johnson warmed up with a White Board Marker

 

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Gaping Ass – Part of the How-to Series | #HowToFuck #InstructionalSeries #SexManual

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How to Convince your Girlfriend to let you Gape an Asshole

The first step to get the bitch to let you gape her asshole is to make sure that shes’s a fucking slut and, at that, an anal slut (see my previous instructional series if need be). Assuming your girl is already sufficiently sluttified then you are ready to gape. One thing you’re going to need is a good anal plug to ready the anal pig up. You can buy these at any sex toy shop. With your anal plug in hand, get her to get on all fours. I prefer to make her do this on a table cause it photographs well while degrading her, but any surface will suffice.

Once she is on all fours rub her back and ass-cheeks with massage oil to relax her–this will get her primed. Once you have her calm and open you can rub her asshole with the massage oil. If she’s still wearing panties–was the slut ever wearing panties?–pull them to the side (they will come in handy later). Another suggestion is to do this the first time in a motel so that you can totally fuck up the sheets with oil, and later jizz, and whatever other bodily fluids leak and spray out.

GetReadyToHaveHerAssGaped

She’s all ready to get her ass gaped

Take the anal plug and rub in on her skin so that it gets all the oil all over it. The more oil, lube, spit, whatever, the better. So feel free so stick it in her mouth sometimes. Start by putting merely the tip against her anus. Don’t put it in. Just leave it there and rub her shoulders and neck a little bit. Then slip the head in. Now you will get her attention but won’t have hurt her yet. Here it’s your job to keep pushing the plug into her ass further and further little by little. If she resists tell her there’s only a little bit more, less than an inch, regardless of how much is left — even if there are eight inches remaining.

At this point, you have to jam the rest in so that the fat part is up her ass and the base stays.

Leave it in. If you had her panties pulled to the side, let them go back on normal. Yank her by the hair and jam your cock into her mouth and start facefucking her hard. Reach over and slap her ass cheeks so she feels the anal plug up her. Don’t let her forget it. She’s your whore now, make sure she knows it.

Ravage her face, deflower her throat, pull out and tell her she’s going to be your anal whore. Then get behind her and stuff your cock up her cunt. She will feel tighter than usual with that anal plug taking up her anal real estate. Don’t get too carried away on her cunt. Pull the plug out. Tell her to push it out. She will then contract and open her ass-muscles and this is the key to gape.

Now fuck her ass.

Fuck her ass and pull out and stick it back in. Pull out. Jam it back in. Each time you pull out you will see it open and gape more and more. Tell her to finger her own open ass. She’s gaping now.

Take pictures or video. Send to Moctezuma.

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This post is part of the ongoing “Instructional Series” including how to convince your girlfriend to give up her ass, to face-fuck, to get humiliated, to take a facial.

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MIRROR: How to Convince Your Girlfriend to Let Me Face Fuck her | #Facefucking #DeepthroatDecember #LPRTG | aka How to Cheat

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 Aka, How to Cheat, How to Steal a Girl

Maybe my girl is nuts, the most nuts. Or maybe chicks are just crazy, but mine doesn’t like that I’m judgmental that she’s fucked other guys. Personally, I think it’s hot, but it’s a slippery slope if I emphasize that too much. I have been a cheating asshole so she thinks that I’m justifying my own dipping my willie into various slippery sluts, which surely I am. That said, I think being able to cheat has its merits. Whether you should or not, that’s your own problem. I know mostly women read erotica but I write mostly for men. Sorry ladies. For women, if you want to cheat you simply tap a guy on the shoulder and say, “Let’s fuck!” For men, it takes a bit more craft. Well, sometimes.

We already covered how to get a young woman to let you face fuck her, but now we’re covering the way more important bit about how to get me to jam cock into your girlfriend’s mouth (yes, I’m the test subject and you should live vicariously through me). It’s really not all that hard to seduce your girl since she’s a latent slut. I’ll get her kneeling and gagging. I have a plan.

There are just a few things to consider and she’ll be eating my nut-butter in minutes. Most hot girls are unlikely to want to disrupt any good atmosphere. So get the party started. Music, drinks, smoke, laughter, touches, glances, teases. Teasing her is the best thing. “May I sit here with you or are you girls too good for me?” was a way in to a threesome one time. Make them feel like you’re at once putting them on a pedestal and shaking it. Once they feel pretty and in the spotlight. They won’t want you to rock that perch so much they should fall. In other words, once they start having fun and feel pretty they are really not remiss to eat cum. After getting your girl to laugh, I get her drunk, and turn up the flirting. I start rubbing her ass, her back, her shoulders, her hand, her nipples, her tits, her pussy, and then her asshole. The whore has been dying for deep-dicking all night, so getting her to stay with me isn’t hard. Watch the way her eyes dart around the bar, she’s looking for dick — and mine is going to be pounding her tonsils while you’re home watching youjizz.com and touching yourself (don’t worry, on other days I’m the one watching the porn and you’re ass-fucking my girl while she calls out her own name in reprehension).

After the bar is nearly empty, I take your bitch outside and push her against the wall. We kiss. My cock is already out. I shove her down. Her eyes open wide and my pole pounds against her tonsils. She makes a heaving sound and then throws herself at my cock, choking herself, impaling herself. I don’t know why girls do this. Perhaps she likes the challenge of deepthroating a massive cock. Perhaps she cannot accept failure. I help her along by pushing her head against the wall and pumping her throat.

I pull out and smack her with my cock. She says she loves big cock. Then suck it, I say. She goes back down to work. This time she is ready and she is really letting it deep down, her chin on my balls, her nose in my pubes, her throat wrapped around the shaft of my cock.

Another way to get her is to get her to be the queen. Get her friends drunk on girls night out and jizz in her face in front of them while they cheer and clap. Also, you can suggest a threesome with a guy with a big cock and I’ll face fuck her while you do her doggystyle. We can high five in the middle!

In summary, it’s really easy to face fuck your girl., my girl, any girl. Go give it a shot.

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Another Sex Manual installment from the sophomoric mind of Mojo

Tidbits:

My girl says, “I don’t mind sucking dick, but don’t you dare judge me! You hypocrite!” It’s true, I applaud slutty men but judge slutty women. I judge them to be fucking awesome! Thank you, sluts! Thank you! Without you where would I be?

 

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