BB-8: Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin

Erotic-SMUTPUNK-Bulletin

 Well here’s your Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin, kiddies!

Well, you’ve Chosen Your Own Kink already with my last book. What about this time? Would you like some sexual instruction compiled over 29 years of fucking ravenously? Behold, the Sex Manual by MJ. A veritable how to fuck, con, convince, coerce, and cohabitate. All you need to know from “Getting Your Girl to Give you Deepthroat” to “Ways to Be Slutty for your Man” to “What’s the best chemical compound to make copious amounts of FAKE CUM” found in this tidy little bedroom companion book. It’s a must have if you have a penis, pussy, or both. 

 

Smutpunk on Skates by Emme Hor – Print Book coming 2017.

The book will be a combination of all four short books that were penned by Emme and edited by me. I am working on the cover now and it’s pretty damn hot. Want a look? Of course you do because you know that there’s a mosque, yoga pants, a hot asian chick in pink glittery roller-skates, and a butt plug. I commissioned my Italian buddy to truly paint the fucker so it came great. Want a look? Of course you do so be sure you’re on the LPRTG mailing list to get notified when it leaves “My Documents” and enters the public space.

 

Instruction Manual for Sex tentatively titled THE SEX MANUAL

It’s not quite out, but you can see the SEX MANUAL home page (I’m banned from Pre-Order on the Zon. Why? Because I’m banned from nearly everything. Thus I have my own website and my own erotic smutpunk bulletin!) It will be out soon and be sure to be on the LPRTG mailing list so you get notified of the release. Or just comment below, saying, “I want to be part of your Review Team” and I’ll get a Free Copy into your hands. Oh yeah! SMUTPUNK4LYF, baby! This book is really a lot of fun but it also happens to contain some good ideas (says who? says me? oh, and my editor said so!). It guarantees safe, fun, useful sexual sessions for you and your partner(s). I so guarantee it that I stand by a 100% Money Back Guarantee if you don’t have at least one awesome session thanks to reading.

Quick Marketing Tip: Promo some other people. Feel free to promote MJ or Emme. Good Karma rewarded freely!

You have to be part of the SMUTPUNK MOVEMENT. I mean, you have #smutpunkforchange #smutpunkeloquence #smutpunkelegance #smutpunk4lyf all at your disposal (and of course the uber-popular LPRTG hashtag). When you hang with me and my SMUTPUNK CREW you get free books from me and Emme, you get the always informative and low-calorie Bullshit Bulletins, you get poems, artwork, and sex tips. What else do you need to be hot and bothered from meaty morning to nipple night?

 

Dr S. Punk asks

why am I such a sucker for watching young chicks in their twenties with shaved bush and perky ass tits get fucked in the ass? I don’t know, doctor, I just don’t know.

I thought I’d share the flyer from the Match of the Century, [[insert]] which will be an entry in the upcoming SMUTPUNK LEXICON. Be sure to get on the LPRTG mailing list to get your important information. There’s weekly sex tips (always useful), free books, special events, and now vocabulary building lexicon entries.

 

Promo Section

Mystk Knight’s website (Aka Mystk Ghoti)

Ashlee Shades’ blog

smutpunk.com wiki

 

#SexManual #MensHealth #Impotence #Men #Fitness #Diet #Health — these are some of the hashtags that I’ll be pitching my new book to. Wish me luck and help me out. All ideas welcome. Feel free to post on FB for me since I no longer use. #FA – FacebookersAnonymous – Oh, shit, wait! That’s not true. I am so all up in The Facebook again under my wife’s name and now even my fucking own.

 

Find me on FB at…

Moctezuma Johnson

Emme Hor

Smutpunk and Literary Erotica (which is essentially the erotic smutpunk bulletin on Facebook & quite useful)

Bored to Tears with…

Smutpunk

The Sex Manual

Smutpunk on Skates

Trump Parody Book Basket

LPRTG

and Jynx

Fuck it, just click them all and open up little windows and like the whole lot of them. Type “Stalked” into the comments and get yourself a free book filled with sex tips and humor.

 

Interview with Sexy and Spectacular Shelby Kent-Stewart

Shelby was nice enough to withstand my asinine questions and put her grace and class all over my smutpunk. She sometimes calls me the #SmutpunkScholar and ClassI call her #SmutpunkElegance. Everything she touches exudes class and style. I think even if she was injecting me with an HIV-laced syringe, she would inject it gracefully, like a St. Petersburg ballerina.

 

New SMUTPUNK Poem: Ana

She calls herself Pussy

that’s her name

I call my baby, Pussy

P-U-S-S-Y

I met her in go-go bar

on her knees

making great eye contact

like wormholes led to her irises

like butter could be freid on her butt crack

like shows were filmed in her cleavage

I met her in a go-go bar

where GIs once roamed

who had long retreated into the hillsides

with the terrorists

I met her in a go-go bar

had her lick my balls

right there from where I sat

on the bar stool

bottle of spiced rum in my hand

more in my gut

my hair afroing out like gluttony

she tongued my asshole

while i admired the tits on the go-go dancer

on the stage

while my buddy lit another Marlboro Red

while a second girl put her hand around my cock

You take it up the ass? I asked the ass-licker

Her eyes were wide open and pretty. She nodded

Great. Let’s go to my room. What’s your name?

Ana.

 

 $

Use the comments below for “Stalked” or “I want to be part of your REVIEW TEAM” (see above for more info). You can also use the comments section to berate me with all the curse words your vocabulary contains. Other uses are looked at with suspicion. Thanks for reading. ‘Nuff said.
–The Management of the Desgracia

Note:

When linking back to this page please put the word “smutpunk” in the link. For example, “MJ’s Smutpunk” or “Smutpunk Site

Please note that BB-8 stands for Bullshit Bulletin, which I’d like to expand to the Bullshit Bullpen Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin

Bullsh*t Bulletin #6

Smutpunk’d by the Alpha FUTA –  Bullshit Bulletin #6

by San Esperma de Desgracia

 

Is it already the Bullshit Bulletin No. 6? That can’t be fucking right, can it? Six? It feels like yesterday that I decided to start writing these. Huh!

 

 

Emme’s singin’ the Buttplug Blues agian. <Robert Plant riffing while stoned out of his mind singing Blazed & Cum-fused by MoJo> Lot’s of asses plugged, but few of them know that the butt of a woman was created below.

Times are hard. Hard as cock. SMUTPUNKED ON SKATES is the sequel to sequel to That Fucker, who gets skated by again and again and is ready with a trophy mantel of   B _ T T   _ L _ G S (would you like to buy a vowel from Vanha? Yes, a “U”. There are two “U”s). Heather’s mother is here to help this time. And everyone knows there’s no lovin’ like the lovin’ of yo mama! There’s also nothing better to muck everything up way worse than it was mucked up in the first place. The Buttplug Blues becomes Mama’s Blues.

Have you met the women of Fuck Force Five, the Five Hive, yet? If you haven’t please introduce yourself here.

 

Subscribe to the SMUTPUNK Mailer, please — Free Sex and/or Lip Balm is promised†

Put your email address in the box to the right to subscribe to the SMUTPUNK mailer. Thank you.

Put your email address in the box to the right to subscribe to the SMUTPUNK mailer. Thank you.

LOOK TO YOUR RIGHT (if you’re on a computer, no idea where if you’re on another device, somewhere) and subscribe to this site to get notifications of new blog posts. If you’re a writer I’ll be sure to promote your shit, if you’re a reader it means you’ll get free promoted shit. Who wants a FREE SMUTPUNKED ON SKATES? Let me know by email, cute little puppies)

[[INSERT CUTE ARROWY IMAGE HERE >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>]]

It’s called iPick-Up. It’s where you SUBSCRIBE to this website to get your SMUTPUNK fix. Everybody needs her smutpunk or your cunt will go dry. Them’s the breaks. It cures bad breath, alien virus, and asthma. So type in your email thingy and let me stuff your box full of s.punk.

 

Some Friends Doing Great Things:

Callie Press (aka Queen Kegel) has gotten some really good reviews for her SMASH HIT  Erotic Pulp #1 – The SMUTPUNK Reader. See her interview with Brixton Atwood.

I want to introduce a new friend and awesome tweeter and writer. Find more about this genius brain at @MzPatchouli. She has one of the best websites I’ve seen from a writer. It’s elegant by design and thoughtful by, well, design. Just do yourself a favor and check it out.

 

MILKING TITTIES

MILKED BY THE YETI. Looks like Callie and I have forgotten to write a new piece, between Sarchasmo and FitMan and BurpeeGirl it’s hard to find time between sets of rough BJ Burpees to see what Milky Russian tits are up to. The old titties are still completely free. They won’t be free for long as Assazon wants to charge for all titties, whether Russian or Not. Milked by a Yeti or Not. I don’t set the rules. I just obediently play by them.

Anyway, don’t forget to stay up to date with Milked by the Yeti at literaryporn.net. Big hairy changes are around the Himalayan corner. 

You haven’t heard of MILKED BY THE YETI? Do you live under a rock? Well, get yourself a quick one-minute taste at xvideos.com’s trailer of Natasha and Lena in Milked by the Yeti. Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. Thank you. I made it, so I could really use the encouragement.

 

Blog Tours & Twitter

Is anybody doing a blog tour or anything because I’m up for hosting a stop. I don’t really even know what that means, but I’d like to try being a host and finding out.

In Twitter news, authors keep blastin out tweets lauding their own books. I do it too, but man I’m getting bored of it. It kind of feels like all of twitter has become bot-territory.

In other Twitter news, dudes keep sending photos of their dicks. I don’t really get that much, but hear from the WPW Nymphettes that it’s pretty rampant. They pretty much think that because you’re a writer of erotica you’re a whore. I’m pretty much as obviously male as Big John Slade, so the ones that send to me with love from India are clearly gay (Mental Note: consider this when marketing toward the sub-continent). I’m going with something alone the lines of “My White Co-Worker Made me a Bollywood Cuckold by Whoring Out My Wife” or something to that effect.

I had something else to say, but it’s gone. I think it was a rant. I have that feeling in my gut. The rant feeling. Ah yes, this business from FaceBook:

Moctezuma Johnson I got into a pretty pretty pretty interesting discussion with Ashlee Shades and others on Naya’s post.

There has been lots of criticism (from me) about the fact that a lot of indie writing is fully baked. Sometimes the editing is bad, the plots aren’t well-, well, plotted, and the covers are crappy and even contain errors. I’ve been pretty lenient on the review end of things but the truth is the Zon makes anybody who can type with their thumb on a phone feel like an epicurean capable of doling out Michelin stars to the world’s greatest bistros. They’re not. The first and most essential thing they miss is basic common courtesy. Professional reviewrs have etiquette, even when they loathe something. If they don’t, they don’t last in the industry. A lot of my fellow writers are asking Zon to stop allowing people to read a whole book and then return it. Personally, I don’t care about those clergy members who get riddled with guilt after my sentient dildos made them cum and have to wash away the guilt by returning the book before another clergy member sees it, reads it, and—GASP!—enjoys it.  If you want your $0.35 back, go for it you cheap guilty bastard.

The thing that absolutely bakes my noodle is how someone will read 3% of my book and then say they don’t like it. That’s like smelling a bowl of pasta and saying, “I hate Italian cooking.” That’s not a review. I don’t think that should be allowed. Reviews help/hurt sales. But let’s not get me into a rant. I know lots of us have this phenomenon. You work for weeks or months on your baby and then get a one word “awful” with one star from someone who didn’t even have the etiquette to read the thing they are trashing. WTF? How is that allowed? I’m pasting a strangely burnt version of said review. It appears this rocket scientist’s review has suffered in a raging attack of SMUTPUNK arson. No idea how that happened. Callie Press? any ideas? <whistles “Forgot About Dre” while strolling away peacefully> Basically my overall, main arc of a point is that I’m more saying STOP THE BULLSH*T, but I think it’s kind of case by case, so overall I say let these brain surgeons do what they like to do, whether it’s buy and return not read yet review, etc. All of their shenanigans lead to sales movement, publicity, and are ultimately good for the author. I’ve seen theft in my day job, I’m talking hundreds of thousands of dollars, so forgive me but $0.35 isn’t really on my radar as theft. It’s more bad etiquette. The cops callcar robbery “Grand Theft Auto” because the numbers (in most states) are higher than a grand, otherwise, the police say, “f*ck it!, go read the new one by 1- and 5-star king Moctezuma Johnson” 

 

Shitty Reviewer

Was this review burned? How did that happen? There’s been a lot of criticism about indie authors. Well, the indie reviewers ain’t so damn great either. Take the lovely “Miss Sha Sha” bet she’d do book reports without reading the book while flunking grade school. I’m glad this type of person doesn’t “get” my books. Good riddance!

See what’s new at Mr. Blackthorne’s Classy Castle

Some recent posts from mrblackthorne.com:

 

Poet for Hire

Moctezuma's SMUTPUNK'd abs is a poet for hire
Click the abs to hire today^^

Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you click below and buy. You can request the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse. Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Great for holidays! Comes with or without images! Get your own personalized SMUTPUNK poem.

Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular

 

Got something important to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia

 

 

 

Get a quick Poem:

“I’ve sprung

your frankfurter from

its bun”

Notes:
†To those over 357 years old

Bullshit Bulletin #5 – Censorship licks erotica’s hairy pie-hole

Well, I was going to put an image of Sherri Clark’s Smutpunk Yeti here with some links to articles by Jamie and Sherri (see notes below) about SMUTPUNK but I am taking a hiatus from writing so I figure why bother. It’s kind of like that Dr. Dre line, which you’ll see below, you all can have erotica because I don’t want it. I’m taking a break, retooling, and coming back in another incarnation.

If it was up to me, you motherfuckers would stop coming up to me
With your hands out looking up to me, like you want something free
When my last CD was out, you wasn’t bumping me
But now that I got this little company
Everybody wanna come to me like it was some disease
But you won’t get a crumb from me
Cause I’m from the streets of Compton
I told ’em all, all them little gangstas
Who you think helped mold ’em all
Now you wanna run around talking bout guns like I ain’t got none
What you think I sold ’em all, cause I stay well off
Now all I get is hate mail all day saying Dre fell off
What cause I been in the lab with a pen and a pad
Tryin’ to get this damn label off
I ain’t havin’ that, this is the millennium of Aftermath
It ain’t gonna be nothin’ after that
So give me one more platinum plaque and fuck rap, you can have it back
So where’s all the Mad Rappers at
It’s like a jungle in this habitat
But all you savage cats
Know that I was strapped with gats
While you were cuddling a Cabbage Patch

Read more: Dr. Dre – Forget About Dre Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Watch Listen to the Whole Thing Here:

[[NOTE TO MAD SEXY SELF: insert image for yeti sherri clark smutpunk, then link to the two smutpunk artilces out, jamie and sherri, what else is the new stuff going on? Not much really! Lol.]]

They say poets should always come in the door talking. How am I doing?

Shit, just cause I’m fucked off of the game doesn’t mean I shouldn’t bust my nutty load full of sexy redheaded cohort praise all over your outstretched kindle. Download Erotic Pulp #1 by Callie Press. Read my advanced review of the genius contained within its virtual pages, too.

 

Strange Sex

Read this strange crazy shit! I’m telling you. Don’t think, just download Erotic Pulp and this and read. If you don’t, guys, your dicks will turn green and then fall off.

Also, read the Made in DNA translation The Vet

This reminds me…

New Doctor-Proven Way to STAVE OFF MENOPAUSE!

StayWetForever"TheFountain"ofYouth

Stave off menopause, ladies, by Reading MJ’s Smutpunk. If you don’t, your vagina my dry right up. Play it safe and read. CLICK the man in suit (if you click his dick you’ll REALLY get a surprise!)

Got to get some porn in the post or what fucking good is having your own site free of censorship?

Intense office lady gangbang

share this Hot Stone Shit i made, please!

And watch my spliced together MJ Video Montage Mash-up

 

Oh and finally, here’s a link to…

what Jamie said about Smutpunk

what Kat Crimson rocked out about Smutpunk

and Sherri’s SMUTPUNK filled Yeti (yep, soft as goose-down wrapped in alpaca)

Woman-with-Steak

Oops that’s a Steak and BJ kind of meat rare and blowjob well done. Click the plate to read the Steak and BJ Bundle

 

Here’s the SMUTPUNK-filled Yeti, I hope…

Censorship sucks and it's WAY more pervasive than you may realize

Censorship sucks and it’s WAY more pervasive than you may realize

 

NO CENSORSHIP HERE. FUCKITY FUCK CUNTFACE

Click the Cream-Filled Filling for a SMUTPUNK-cream Surprise filling drilling.

Click the Cream-Filled Filling for a SMUTPUNK-cream filming of a willing Surprise filling at the power spilling hands of the drilling KING of MOTHERFUCKING thrilling SMUTPUNK ritual killing EROTICA

MJ on Amazon **Multiple Countries**

 

Slip on my swag, lol. If you know me well, you know I’m not a huge Emimem fan although I think the dude’s supremely talented and funny, but I’m more of a Masta Ace guy cause i’m more of a fan of witty inversions, but that’s not the point. This vid is fucking immense. Marshall is a legend.

The SMUTPUNK lexicon is being edited now as you read. That promises to be noteworthy. If you have any words to add, please let me know.

Emme Hor put out a new book a few weeks back with my crappy editing and Callie Press left it a 5-star, glorious review. The book’s called Romance on Rollerskates and I’m supposed to edit the newest part of it now. If you love butt plugs then these “Women’s Adventures Series” books are a MUST-READ. You should read it even if you don’t like butt plugs but you’re simply interested in Malaysian (sex) culture. There are mosques, roller skates, and kopi tarik (stretched Malay-style coffee, yum). There’s an alpha male, I think he’s a billionaire, I forget, and a hot little Chindian-Malay sex pot. There’s always a sex pot, isn’t there? It features a facial, anal, and rollerskating. What’s not to love?

SMUTPUNK spilled all over me this morning and I haven’t yet washed it off. Guess I’ll be giving more loads to my washing machine. 

Take advantage of this great service:

Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you buy the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse. Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Buy today, guaranteed delivery on Valentine’s Day (plan ahead)! THIS IS A REAL SERVICE. My blog readers have been using it since the days of deep classics on blogger. I’m written poems on naked pictures of wives, poems for couples, poems for asshole bosses, etc. Dream it up and give me an ass-crack at it.

Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular

Lastly, last, last, Emme Hor’s book I Am Not a Whore, At Least Not Yet! got it’s first review as well, so check that shit out, will ya?

Got something important to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia

The Bullshit Bulletin #4 – #LPRTG #SSRTG #NSFW – Please #RETWEET @EroticAuthorsRTG @Smutpunk_Author

Well, it’s already been a weird month. Tuesday I released three books in a day, Dump The Futa President (Making America Great Again, Ese), Romancing the Hot Stone, and The Nose. I’m also about to drop a Steak and BJ Day Bundle. I had to get in on the Trump Parody craze but ended up writing an attack of American Politics in general, not specifically against Trump. I guess I relate to Trump supporters in the sense that they, like Sanders supporters, think the system is so fucked up it needs a jolt. We just don’t remotely agree what the jolt should be. Anyway, I don’t want to get into a political debate, I just had to hop on the bandwagon and smutpunk the shit out of the presidential parody.

Callie Press, who also dropped a presidential parody called Tonguing Tromp, is on the verge of completing her very creative Erotic Pulp, which I can’t wait to read.

Regarding the names, Callie went with Domald Tromp. I went with Tronald Dump. She went with Clitin. I stole Kat Crimson’s Clitskin.

SmutpunkButtonR.B. O’Brien was a guest on the Blog Tour Bus Stop. It’s was always going to be hard to top Linzi Basset’s interview, the Nabokov of Erotica but RB did a great job and got a lot of comments, which is cool. R.B. was also a good sport about answering questions such as what’s your stance on getting dick pics and do you write naked on a dildo’d chair.

Check out lots of great writing at mrblackthorne.com

Mr. Blackthorne hit 25,000 followers. If you’re not following him, I really don’t know what you’re waiting for to do so. This is your invitation.

Don’t forget to stay up to date with Milked by the Yeti at literaryporn.net

You haven’t heard of MILKED BY THE YETI? Do you live under a rock? Well, get yourself a quick one-minute taste at xvideos.com’s trailer of Natasha and Lena in Milked by the Yeti.Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. Thank you. I made it, so I could really use the encouragement.
buttplugblues

Click the Butt Plug to Visit the Book Page

The SMUTPUNK lexicon is being edited now as you read. That promises to be noteworthy. If you have any words to add, please let me know.

Emme Hor put out a new book with my crappy editing. It’s called Romance on Rollerskates. If you love butt plugs then this is a MUST-READ. You should read it even if you don’t like butt plugs but you’re simply interested in Malaysian (sex) culture. There are mosques, roller skates, and kopi tarik (stretched Malay-style coffee, yum). There’s an alpha male, I think he’s a billionaire, I forget, and a hot little Chindian-Malay sex pot. There’s always a sex pot, isn’t there? It features a facial, anal, and rollerskating. What’s not to love?

SMUTPUNK is new but gaining a bit of steam. Hopefully, we will get some more traction going forward.

Remember to notice that the HEART SHAPED ASS is just an ass upside down (see right if in doubt).

Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone!

Of course you already know that July Cumming (the dungeon doctor) is awesome. If you need a reminder or have been living under a dirty rock, then check out her exxxcerpts on the MJ site.

It’s your last chance to get a Valentine’s Day Poem written for you. I wrote two poems for Sherri Clark, who you may know as the Ardent Rose. Click the link to her name to have a look. If you want one, hire me now before it’s too late!

Take advantage of this great service:

Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you buy the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse. Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Buy today, guaranteed delivery on Valentine’s Day (plan ahead)!

Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular

Got something important to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia

Bulletin #3 – EXCITING and COLLIDING Week in SMUTPUNK CAMP | #EARTG #LPRTG #SSRTG #MrBrtg Any more hashtags?

It’s been an exciting week in Smutpunk Camp. Callie released Lyssa #5 – Me Under Glass (Cthulhu Smutpunk Paranormal Erotica), which is a super-imaginative piece.

I was blown away by Me Under Glass, as I am by most of Callie’s work. You will find my review on the product page for her new smutpunk, cthulhu mythos, universe colliding part of her masterpiece. I know she wanted to write a one wank wonder story, but her imaginative brain just wouldn’t let it rest, thankfully.

Callie also has some Erotic Pulp on the way, which I’m not going to reveal what that means but I will tell you that I’ve seen glimpses of it, and even brainhurricaned a few ideas with her, and it’s ball-inflatingly, tit-flauntingly brilliant. If my ass could wink, it would do so here.

Callie wrote a SMUTPUNK MANIFESTO (I’ve funked out my remix

Linzi Basset was a guest on the Blog Tour Bus Stop and gave an incredible interview. A few other writers have touched me on the shoulder about doing something similar so a new one is brewing. Let me know if you’re interested. It’s going to be hard to top the Nabokov of Erotica’s debut interview. They say the first is special. I’m glad mine was with Linzi. I heard it was her first, too. See two virgins doing it for the first time.

Linzi also happens to be absolutely rocking the rankings. Man, I’m happy if one of my books takes a quick dip inside the top 100,000. She’s is something like #5 overall. Congratulations. She has a knack for language, and writes a shit ton of books. The combo of hard work and talent are starting to pay dividends for her. She is a shining example to all of us.

Reed James is working on a futanari cuckolding story, title still unknown to me.

The series is Cuckold by the Black Futa. Reed is such a prolific writer. He’s another shining example!

Mr. Blackthorne, as classy and mysterious as ever, has some great new excerpts up. The latest are from JULY CUMMING and JENNY FOSHIA and two writers you know from this site.

That leads me to the big news of the week for Camp Smutpunk, Sarchashmo himself (aka Moctezuma Johnson) is now a Naughty Nymphette, one of the Wicked Pens.

I never thought the day would come but, after befriending about half the group one by one and seeing my wife, Emme, welcomed by them, I thought oh what the hell and joined. They have accepted me better than I could have dreamed, although I am WAY TOO PORNO-LITERARY SMUTPUNK UP THE ASS for some of them. I’m quite honored to be surrounded by such a talented bunch. So check out all the Wicked Pen(i)s on mrblackthorne.com

Lastly, it’s on. The Five Hive (The Fuck Force Five Women In Black Special Unit) are about to throwdown with Butterface, that crawling chaos cunt. The Battle for Alien Relish is on. Get your tickets earlier! Get your tickets earlier! Steel Cage STRAP-on Dildo Match! Get your tickets earlier!

 

Recent Posts at Mr. Blackthorne’s Site

 

Got some important news to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia (in technicolor)

 

Bulletin #2 – The Smutpunk Blues | #EARTG #LPRTG #SSRTG #MrBrtg Any others?

The Smutpunk Blues –  Bullshit Bulletin #2

by San Esperma de Desgracia

Well, we had very few sales and then a ton and then very few again this period so I guess even Smutpunks get the Blues. Oh well.

Emme’s working on Part 2 of her Confessions of a Whore Series. Yay! Also, she has the beginning and ending written for Buttplug Blues. Lot’s of folks singin’ the blues these days. Times are hard. Hard as cock. Buttplug Blues is the sequel to That Fucker, who shows up to torture our heroine again. This time she’s ready and has a few surprises of her own.

Saharah Shae has a new blurb out about Fun with the First Sergeant. You can read an excerpt at Mr. Blackthorne. Mouse over the link to the book to visit Amazon shops from all over the globe. Isn’t that handy, gals and pals?

Callie Press (aka Queen Kegel) is up at the plate to knock some Yeti’s out of the park. There’s this bit about Cunt Punting that some people may find offensive. (See deliciously offensive artwork)

Slut Punting

The Yeti isn’t only one interested in Slut Punting

I wrote Book 3. Looks like I forgot to write the sex, well except for some tit-fucking an unconscious ex-wife in her hospital bed while hijacking her milk. Callie says that’s dubcon. I think that’s a pretty fine line.

Don’t forget to stay up to date with Milked by the Yeti at literaryporn.net

You haven’t heard of MILKED BY THE YETI? Do you live under a rock? Well, get yourself a quick one-minute taste at xvideos.com’s trailer of Natasha and Lena in Milked by the Yeti. Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. Thank you. I made it, so I could really use the encouragement.

Is anybody doing a blog tour or anything because I’m up for hosting a stop. I don’t really even know what that means, but I’d like to try being a host and finding out.

In Twitter news, authors keep blastin out tweets lauding their own books. I do it too, but man I’m getting bored of it. Also, Sarcashmo was able to cockslap fools until he was able to catch Christiano Kale, the clone of the sexy, talented Christian Bale (with or without beard).

In other Twitter news, dudes keep sending me photos of their junk. I’m pretty much as obviously male as Big John Slade, so clearly half of India is gay although they will not admit they are (consider this when marketing toward the sub-continent). I’m going with something alone the lines of “My White Co-Worker Made me a Bollywood Cuckold” or something to that effect.

I had something else to say, but it’s gone.

My new TriStain is coming alone. Those of you who have pre-ordered, please hang loose a little longer. I was flying along but with the holidays and all, I am trudging through molasses now. However, the idea sounds good to me. See the clippings by Dean Diddlewitz (aka DD) if you’d like to see what’s up with “The Stain.”

Remember to take advantage of this great service:

Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you buy the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse. Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Buy today, guaranteed delivery by Valentine’s Day (plan ahead)!

Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular

Got something important to add?

Let me know.

I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).

‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia

 

Moctezuma Johnson’s Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin #0 (The Pilot) | The Bullshit Bulletin

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Moctezuma Johnson wants to get the word out: The Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin

Ever heard of Marvel’s Bulletin Board? [[insert image here]]

We should be doing that too. We have T. Queef and some other saps to take the piss out of a bit. There are the one wank wonders, the cunts and dicks who’ve never learnt no grammer, and the tweetathoners. Then there’s Mr. B’s crew. They are nice so I won’t fuck with them even though I wish I could tell you from cunt to black & white cocksucker where the line of “tasteful” gets drawn, in what color, and by whom, but that’s not the issue here. No, no, they don’t say tasteful, they say “classy.” I say assy but the fact that the Mr. B group has a pulse, a libido, and N angle makes me want to have a thousand arms to finger the nymphs and jerk the duke. The nymphettes are nice. They are awesome to me one-on-one and have retweeted the shit out of me. Oh, and my wife, the jynxy mynx named Emme “Cocksucking” Hor is one of them, for fucks sake. How can Moctezuma Johnson not join?

If you can’t beat ’em, join em.

Me? No. Like Groucho Marx said, “I don’t want to be part of any group that would have me for a member.” Not that they would have me as a member. But I still consider them part of the bullpen, especially Jenny, Linzi, July, and Callie. There are a bunch of other fuckers and page eroti-suckers who I want to fold into the mix like blueberries into hot muff(in) batter. There’s Reed James and the Naught Book Snitch with her GIFtopia. One day at a time, like a good AA member.

Get Your Spider-Man Shirt

Get Your Spider-Man Shirt

A literary porn erotic smutpunk bulletin

A place to get important upcoming news in the literary erotica universe. We don’t have a bullpen where we all sit and one table and crank out mad creativity cause we all sit all by our lonesomes in our underwear with coffee, wine, joints, or all three, and do our bidding with our bots and one-handed typing. I guess twitter is our ‘pen but that’s pure chaos. Bulls are way more organized than we are on twitter. We are out of fucking control with all the tweets (thanks tweetathoners, I’m so sick of seeing repeat lines and repeat images), all the dick picks (it’s mostly dudes from the subcontinent – guys, I’m a dude. Do you want this Latino-Italian guy looking at your dick? You do? Then read my FUTA shit!), and all the book link BUY MY BOOK links, you can have a nervous breakdown in five minutes. Luckily I mostly ignore DMs so they can send cocks ’til the cows come home. My point is that authors could use a little bulletin that boils down the news so we can see what’s going on. We need an easy to manage quick news rather than scrolling through noise. In Seoul, busy streets have neon signs in every spot imaginable advertising stuff. The neon-barrage is so strong that I feel like I’m walking in the dark. I’ve unconsciously mentally turned off every buzzing colorful light. In real life these electric color-boards tell me to shop, eat, and drink at their establishments. In my mind I see a quiet black sky and hot Asian chicks in short skirts. These stores should start sending me dick pictures, they’d be better off. We could have a bulletin.

Why was Marvel’s Bulletin so Amazing?

Cause comics rule! I loved those Marvel chats with Stan the Man. Stan’s Soapbox. Sexy. I loved wrestling and metallica too, but I outgrew the latter two things. Comics still fucking rule!

I go to comic book stores regularly because flipping through a bunch of comic books jumpstarts my mind in a way that nothing else can. The creativity within these pages is off the charts. It was Callie Press who said some erotic smutpunk bulletin magic words to me the other night by DM that really knocked my socks deep up my anal cavity. She said, “Excelsior!” out of nowhere or some of the other weird ass words Stan “The Man” Lee would throw out there. It made me look up why the fuck he did that and I found out it was because he thought his competition (the fuckers that would copy everything) wouldn’t be able to copy it because they wouldn’t know how to spell it after he said it. Lol. That just cracks me up and I’m pretty sure some of my haters can’t spell abominable snowman nor the Philippines. I take pleasure in that. And in saying, Fuck you to the haters. I’ve watched most of them drop off like flies (see T. Queef) and disappear back into the narrow-minded fetters from whence they came. You know what I say, Can’t a Husband Suck His Wife’s Cock Anymore? Western culture has become too Politically Cum-rect(al). Asia is still a much rawer place.

Thankfully I can hide my head in the cum-stained sand and write about the destruction of the universe by the Sluts of the Oblong-Dong Table and the drying up of The Streams of Sementopia and the ismywifeaFUTAvolcanic Mt. Ejaculi going dormant. I can write about Yeti’s taking big-titted Russian whores as slaves and then getting sick of them and kicking them down the side of a mountain. I can read about a Halloween Spook being all too real and using virgin sperm and menstrual blood to erase and create universes. This is the fun of what I’ve termed Literary Porn Erotica. Kat Crimson calls it smart smut or cerebral smut, which is another kick ass term. I’m stoked to be a part of this fucked up wave of eWriters who can self-publish their stuff and tweet with their readers and have a jolly old time. Just the way these Marvel Bulletins were a cool way to feel a part of the comic crowd, we get excited about new work thanks to blogs, tweets, posts, and other sharers. I’m going to boil it down every bulletin board. That’s my pledge. Feel free to send me shit that you know has to be out there. I feel free to ignore shit that has no place.

Hey, Queen Kegel, Excelsior! Let’s start putting EROTIC PULP of Heroes and Villians! into all our eBooks (natch!)

Literary Porn Club, baby! SAN ESPERMA cockslapping fools left and right for Candy Cane Kegel and the SUPERhung superHUNK SPaCe GlaDIatorS

Bullpen Bulletin #o (The Pilot Cerebral Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin):

The Milked by the Yeti Series has begun. Book 1 by Moctezuma is out on the literaryporn.net site and Callie Press is writing Book 2 as I write this. She’s released the first installment, introducing Vivek and bring the milking fucking Yeti back for more scary, sexy fun.

‘Nuff said!

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