Dildogeddon – Learn how to protect yourself


Dildogeddon — What the heck is that?

Well, you’ve probably heard of the pornapocalypse, the desire of almost all medias to rid themselves of vile adult content. Even twitter is on the anti-porn train recently. Ugh. Why? What’s with puritan America trying to tell all of us what to do. I don’t like it at all. Not one little bit.

Now, dildogeddon is the attack of earth by alien forces. These aliens aren’t the regular aliens with big green heads who violate lonely humans on motherships, nope, these are sentient alien dildos that reproduce when united with Earthling cum. It’s a funny, schlocky B-movie, campy book by Moctezuma Johnson. It’s also a metaphor for how all this conservatism from American evangelicals to Islamic Fundamentalists is just totally bat-shit fucking crazy.

Read the Triangulum Stain Series for more.

Dildogeddon – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos

The Five HiveThe Battle for Alien Relish

Bullshit Bulletin #7 @MJKingOfErotica #LPRTG #EARTG @horbooks

There has been a significant rise in the number of LPRTG Newsletter followers. Thank you to all the new recruits.

For those of you considering joining, consider this:



This Site

The other awesome success has been the rise in people buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for our books while the author gets the entire profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you.


Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade

What's with the feet?

What’s with the feet? Click the heels to buy the book!

Of course, the nude new news for MJ fans is that he’s crawled out from under a rock to pen the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade and is about to drop a How To book that will blow your fucking minds. It’s kind of my version of Callie Press’s How To Give Good Head. As you know, women kind of suck at giving head except for a few blesséd souls.

This one is about you. And, hot damn, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. What? Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.

Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!

Do you hear that? Right in the peripheral of your brain. Yes that. Like audio ghosts. What the…? What is that? Is that what I think it is, baby? Callie? Emme? Genevieve? Mama? Is that the funk? The Flashlight? the Mothership? How’s your Funk? la da da di da da da da da da da. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam! 

How’s your Funk-Entelechy? Me? Well, I’m known as lollipop man, aka the long-haired sucker, so not to0 funkin’ bad. Why are there stars in your eyes? All the better to funk you with.

Bernie Worrell, Dr. Woo, RIP, my funk brotha!

I was lucky enough to see Dr. Woo play over thirty times at various locations from small supper clubs to big concert halls. I was also given the amazing moment of meeting the band and chatting with them for hours, which I’ll obviously never forget. This man truly changed my life. Y’all may not know, some of you do, that I moonlight as a funk brother playing drums, keyboard, guitar, and bass depending on the funk. In fact, I didn’t have eyes on writing at all when I was younger. I was music all the way. If you’d like to know the truth, ask away. Until then, i’ll leave it shrouded in mystery. Listen to one of the greatest keyboard players to ever touch the planet Earth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tL8shj6yx0 – Very cool jam with even the audience involved


Anything else to report these days? If so, let me know.

Ooh Ooh, nerdy girl editing by Jenn, the ex-Disney star. Try her out. She did the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapades. She’s a genius. Any mistakes are mine, not hers. I’m the one who can’t edit worth shit. Click the link and see what she offers. Mention my name when you do.

And the last thing is there are a lot of new poems on this site by both me and my new super-crush Genevieve Greene.


A parting tweet to enjoy:

Photos Galore SMUTPUNK, Big Tits, and More #LPRTG #MMF #BigTits

chelle69_dbf4ab ThongThursdayAsian

Look at those Big Tits (big Asian tits) dipping in the water!


#NSFW Fotos eroticas del escritor Moctezuma Johnosn @MJKingOfErotica

una puta de moctezuma

12357740_939514879476284_767363362_n blackthorne-bigtit-bondage


In the old days of porn, women positioned their heads together like this to eat jizz, but you rarely see that anymore. Even porn has trends.

tumblr_ny4k7cRKXl1tjqu37o1_500 AsianBigTits-Moctezuma CuteLittleFlatMidriffAsianSubmissive MoctezumaINDIAsmutpunk-romance photo 2




Do you love FUTAs?

209_erotic_hotties big-hot-ass-going-upstairs-literary-porn-sexpunk-smutpunk tumblr_nrmi28txLW1uagzjqo4_540 latina-hottie-w-BigTits-HardNipples liftupyourskirt wrinkled-brow-while-pounding

I'm not sure where the line between classy and nasty is all the time.

I’m not sure where the line between classy and nasty is all the time.

images (2)

Mad for Jizz

Mad for Jizz


At the back of Bored to Tears by My Asian Husband is a very fucked up story of a young wife and an alleyway. It’s a little smutpunk gem in an otherwise pretty straightforward little book.

Redheaded slut beautifully disgraced on streets of Madrid.540p_logo 15-rubbing-cocks-against-her-cum-glazed-face black-girl-eating-asian-pussy-07 bitch-getting-used Thong Thursday for Kat Crimson thong-ass AsianSlutStoopsToSuckWhiteDick beauty-sexy-girl-big-tits-hot-sexy-lingerie-1 psychedelic_porn_by_danorszewsk-cum-catcher gunge.comic poison-apples.best-cover11


Peel Another Banana America | An anti-imperialism poem | #erotic #political #poetry #LPRTG

Read Moctezuma Smutpunk

Peel Another Banana, America

Aztec King / El Rey Azteca

Image by Davichi via Flickr

You love Aztec bitches
in their feathered headress
tattoed Teotitlan titties
hairless heiroglypic cunts
Today Tijuana has–
Meshica cunt shtuffed
full of obsidian cock–
Dress her up like an Aztec
in jaguar skin
to sacrifice at the altar
of thick Moctezuma cock
lay her on the stone
high atop pyramid
high on princess pussy
with King-sized cock
plunge that guatemalteca
like you were splitting her
in two, ripping her apart
to get her entrails out

splatter that tomato
chocolate- and coffee-inventing
face with dick drip
diciendo: “dame dame dame
todo el poder!”


Read the Rest of the Poem on the Full Poem Page, Sorry (I had some formatting issues and couldn’t get it all to paste here well)

Poem by Mistress of SMUTpunk, the illustrious QUEEN Kegel | #MrBrtg #LPRTG #SSRTG

Do we really need another literary category subcategory? Why not, smutpunkists? by Emme Hor There are so many literary ‘punks’ these days that it just seems like a buzzword to use in the new age of selling books via keywords. Imagine the Classics: Lolita (Old Man Young Vixen Daddy Age Play Series) or Hamlet (DubCon Paranormal 15th Century Murder/Suicide Crime Thriller Mystery Royalty & Aristocrats), or even Star Wars (Metaphysical and Visionary Galactic Empire Space Marine Clones Incenstuous Paranormal Space Soap Opera Dystopian Sci-Fi Series). So everybody is trying to get on the algorithm’s good sides with creative keyword use, and you now have categories upon categories with subcategories inside categories. Frankly, it has become a mess. If you like muck, then you’re in heaven searching for a book on amazon. If you don’t, you type in your favorite keywords and you’re on with it. So now you have steampunk, cyberpunk, splatterpunk, and a bunch of punks to help you sort through the mess and find something cool and unique that you like. Well, add smutpunk to the list. Smutpunk, really? That sounds awful. Strangely, though, the new term applies to work that isn't bad. It’s erotica with plot that mixes forms from such varied sources as magic realism, science fiction, and Asian kung fu movies. In the same way most other punks use some common thing to glue them together, smutpunk uses the most basic protein of all to create its own panspermia universe, mixing pop-culture, erotica, the Cthulhu mythos, Far East legends, and Non-Western spirituality with Science Fiction, Pulp, and Silver-Age-Comic era elements into a head spinning, ball-busting good time. The idea behind it, formulated originally by Moctezuma Johnson and Callie Press, is to make erotica stand up on its own even if you remove the sex (which these writers admit they sometimes forget to provide) because the plots have other equally important elements. In Halloween 2015 Callie Press’s Butterface was highly-lauded, and Moctezuma Johnson’s Battle for Alien Relish has recently been featured as a kind of B-movie classic on WTF Friday. Smutpunk is just beginning and has only scratched the surface of the its full potential like a Sith lord just beginning to use the dark side for tripping her friends and giggling. Get on the slippery bandwagon and have a taste. Type Smutpunk into Amazon and see what new worlds you get.

Untitled Poem by Callie Press

I went to town to see a man

Who wasn’t even there

And when I left to buy an ounce

A sadness filled the air.

The twerp I bought from made a pass,

But he was just a pup.

I shoved my smutpunk up his ass

And that quite shut him up.

His older brother, he was cute

so then we messed around until their father got off work,

still dressed up as a clown.

A clown is creepy, I declared.

White grease paint

smeared my tits.

Both dad and son

made Callie cum

as twerp jerked off in fits.

No really, he was spastically

yanking at his stiffie.

In starts and stops

and ups and downs

it really was quite nifty,

But I grew bored of that odd place,

I blew that nutty scene

because that kind of stupid shit

should only be in dreams.

Life is rarely dumber

than the fucking shit I live.

I want it all to end sometimes

and this is where I change the rhymes

because that’s what I want.

I am the queen in this,

my dream, and you the debutante.

So suck it up, you little bitch

because I run this show,

and if there’s info that you need

I’ll tell you when I know.

Until then eat a bag of dicks

and buy my fucking books,

and live your life your own damn way

and something something -ooks.

I could have spent time on a rhyme

that made that line work out

But this is off the top my head

my brains’s a running spout

of useless facts and funny shit

it never must make sense,

And Iron Maiden taught me well

to rhyme the word ‘vengeance.’

So go away, fuck off, begone,

because I’m off to bed, with fuzzy head

and hair of red and aching legs of lead

from running all the LIVE LONG day

I’m tired, cold, and dead. Night.


Take me to read more incredible SMUTPUNK by Callie Press

Moctezuma Johnson’s Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin #0 (The Pilot) | The Bullshit Bulletin


Moctezuma Johnson wants to get the word out: The Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin

Ever heard of Marvel’s Bulletin Board? [[insert image here]]

We should be doing that too. We have T. Queef and some other saps to take the piss out of a bit. There are the one wank wonders, the cunts and dicks who’ve never learnt no grammer, and the tweetathoners. Then there’s Mr. B’s crew. They are nice so I won’t fuck with them even though I wish I could tell you from cunt to black & white cocksucker where the line of “tasteful” gets drawn, in what color, and by whom, but that’s not the issue here. No, no, they don’t say tasteful, they say “classy.” I say assy but the fact that the Mr. B group has a pulse, a libido, and N angle makes me want to have a thousand arms to finger the nymphs and jerk the duke. The nymphettes are nice. They are awesome to me one-on-one and have retweeted the shit out of me. Oh, and my wife, the jynxy mynx named Emme “Cocksucking” Hor is one of them, for fucks sake. How can Moctezuma Johnson not join?

If you can’t beat ‘em, join em.

Me? No. Like Groucho Marx said, “I don’t want to be part of any group that would have me for a member.” Not that they would have me as a member. But I still consider them part of the bullpen, especially Jenny, Linzi, July, and Callie. There are a bunch of other fuckers and page eroti-suckers who I want to fold into the mix like blueberries into hot muff(in) batter. There’s Reed James and the Naught Book Snitch with her GIFtopia. One day at a time, like a good AA member.

Get Your Spider-Man Shirt

Get Your Spider-Man Shirt

A literary porn erotic smutpunk bulletin

A place to get important upcoming news in the literary erotica universe. We don’t have a bullpen where we all sit and one table and crank out mad creativity cause we all sit all by our lonesomes in our underwear with coffee, wine, joints, or all three, and do our bidding with our bots and one-handed typing. I guess twitter is our ‘pen but that’s pure chaos. Bulls are way more organized than we are on twitter. We are out of fucking control with all the tweets (thanks tweetathoners, I’m so sick of seeing repeat lines and repeat images), all the dick picks (it’s mostly dudes from the subcontinent – guys, I’m a dude. Do you want this Latino-Italian guy looking at your dick? You do? Then read my FUTA shit!), and all the book link BUY MY BOOK links, you can have a nervous breakdown in five minutes. Luckily I mostly ignore DMs so they can send cocks ’til the cows come home. My point is that authors could use a little bulletin that boils down the news so we can see what’s going on. We need an easy to manage quick news rather than scrolling through noise. In Seoul, busy streets have neon signs in every spot imaginable advertising stuff. The neon-barrage is so strong that I feel like I’m walking in the dark. I’ve unconsciously mentally turned off every buzzing colorful light. In real life these electric color-boards tell me to shop, eat, and drink at their establishments. In my mind I see a quiet black sky and hot Asian chicks in short skirts. These stores should start sending me dick pictures, they’d be better off. We could have a bulletin.

Why was Marvel’s Bulletin so Amazing?

Cause comics rule! I loved those Marvel chats with Stan the Man. Stan’s Soapbox. Sexy. I loved wrestling and metallica too, but I outgrew the latter two things. Comics still fucking rule!

I go to comic book stores regularly because flipping through a bunch of comic books jumpstarts my mind in a way that nothing else can. The creativity within these pages is off the charts. It was Callie Press who said some erotic smutpunk bulletin magic words to me the other night by DM that really knocked my socks deep up my anal cavity. She said, “Excelsior!” out of nowhere or some of the other weird ass words Stan “The Man” Lee would throw out there. It made me look up why the fuck he did that and I found out it was because he thought his competition (the fuckers that would copy everything) wouldn’t be able to copy it because they wouldn’t know how to spell it after he said it. Lol. That just cracks me up and I’m pretty sure some of my haters can’t spell abominable snowman nor the Philippines. I take pleasure in that. And in saying, Fuck you to the haters. I’ve watched most of them drop off like flies (see T. Queef) and disappear back into the narrow-minded fetters from whence they came. You know what I say, Can’t a Husband Suck His Wife’s Cock Anymore? Western culture has become too Politically Cum-rect(al). Asia is still a much rawer place.

Thankfully I can hide my head in the cum-stained sand and write about the destruction of the universe by the Sluts of the Oblong-Dong Table and the drying up of The Streams of Sementopia and the ismywifeaFUTAvolcanic Mt. Ejaculi going dormant. I can write about Yeti’s taking big-titted Russian whores as slaves and then getting sick of them and kicking them down the side of a mountain. I can read about a Halloween Spook being all too real and using virgin sperm and menstrual blood to erase and create universes. This is the fun of what I’ve termed Literary Porn Erotica. Kat Crimson calls it smart smut or cerebral smut, which is another kick ass term. I’m stoked to be a part of this fucked up wave of eWriters who can self-publish their stuff and tweet with their readers and have a jolly old time. Just the way these Marvel Bulletins were a cool way to feel a part of the comic crowd, we get excited about new work thanks to blogs, tweets, posts, and other sharers. I’m going to boil it down every bulletin board. That’s my pledge. Feel free to send me shit that you know has to be out there. I feel free to ignore shit that has no place.

Hey, Queen Kegel, Excelsior! Let’s start putting EROTIC PULP of Heroes and Villians! into all our eBooks (natch!)

Literary Porn Club, baby! SAN ESPERMA cockslapping fools left and right for Candy Cane Kegel and the SUPERhung superHUNK SPaCe GlaDIatorS

Bullpen Bulletin #o (The Pilot Cerebral Erotic Smutpunk Bulletin):

The Milked by the Yeti Series has begun. Book 1 by Moctezuma is out on the literaryporn.net site and Callie Press is writing Book 2 as I write this. She’s released the first installment, introducing Vivek and bring the milking fucking Yeti back for more scary, sexy fun.

‘Nuff said!


GUYS! Follow Moctezuma’s Site and Get Your Free Testicle Exam from Kitchen COWgirl!

Shayna from Fuck Force Five

Shayna from Fuck Force Five

Shayna is the Black FFF. Her specialty is knives. She wears black heavy armor with her tits out and a tattoo of the number 45 in between big DDs with small nipples and tape over her left nipple in an x. Her arms and legs are totally encased in heavy armor. A helmet hides much of her pretty face. Her left eye looks through a viewfinder which displays heat maps and other overlays on command. A cigarette is at all times dangling from her luscious Botox lips.

She’s been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment…



Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five:

Meet Tabitha (the blonde)

Meet Tabitha (the blonde)

Erotic Science Fiction: Tabitha from The Five Hive

Erotic-Science-Fiction-Tabitha of Fuck Force Five

Tabitha from The Five Hive (a character in the erotic science fiction series Triangulum Stain)

Tabitha is the blonde FFF. Her specialty is rope. She wears a sheer cat suit with pasties on her nipples. She wears latex pants and carries a rope lassoed on her hip brace. Her lips are full and seductive. Her secret identity may or may not be Destiny’s Pussycat herself Betwice Knowles. All of this is known by Dean Diddlewitz of the UFO Chronicler, but he has this thing where without orgasm he forgets everything he knows. Make sure that Dean gets his sexual medicine by reading.

Tabitha has been to Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation (aka Alien Relish).

Excuse me. Please step into our secure debriefing facility for a moment…



Meet another member of the Fuck Force Five from this erotic science fiction story:


Meet each Fuck Force Five agent