The Angry Sex Tip | Sex Tip #4


Weekly Sex Tip #4

Each person is different, this is rule number one. So you have to get to know each partner. Some partners need gentle touches, others want rough angry sex. Here’s the key to my angry sex tip. What makes angry sex so hot? Passion.

angry-sex-tipIf you’re having angry sex with someone you’re with somebody who knows how to push your buttons. That person is probably somebody who you’ve known for a while. Perhaps a spouse or a long term partner. Once in a while it’s a loathsome freak you’ve picked up and plan to hate fuck right from the beginning (no judgments, I’ve been there!). Now the disgust, anger, and hate have the adrenaline pumping and have you feeling alive! This is passion. Passion is the main ingredient in angry sex. It’s what takes the boring out of this rough romp in the hay. Funnel all the nasty feelings you have into your sex drive and voila! Men will have raging hard-ons and women will be as sensitive as a hairless kitty.

Now go for it. This is the time for rough facefucking, for thrusting dick into cunt like he’s a jackhammer trying to rip up the tarmac. Fuck one orgasm, let’s build a goddamn Egyptian pyramid. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. This is no time to be civil, get that nose in her cunt, dudes. Floss with her bush. Lick that asshole, ladies. Gag on his dick! This is Angry Sex, Hate Fucking for Lovers, Make-Up Sex, Break Up Sex, I Hate Your Guts Sex. Whatever you want, take it. You’re a beast! You’re an animal. You’re nothing but cock. You’re whole body is cunt.

Tired of him running his mouth? Grab him by the hair and sit on his face. Rub your cunt lips over him until he shuts the fuck up and pleasures you. Guys, bored of her whining? Fuck her so hard and deep that those whines turn to screams and her nails draw blood as she cums repeatedly.

angry-sex-tipOh your partner is a darling, you say? No way to rile him or her up? Well, here’s an angry sex tip newsflash.

Well, fuck that. Pick a fight. Steal his dinner. Lock her out. Forget to pick her up. Bring the neighbor’s panties into the apartment by accident from the laundry room. Yell at your partner in public (that might lead not only to hate sex, but to public sex, throw in a voyeur or two and you have the trifecta).




Next sex tip: Dirty Talk

Previous Sex Tip: Properly Warming Up An Ass


Eating Ass | #SexManual #LPRTG #HowTo

Weekly Sex Tip #2

Last week I wrote about getting your woman stimulated by kissing the back of her neck and running your tongue down her spine. After kissing her like that and getting her going, I suggest you lick her pussy from behind. But, if you’re a freak like me, lick from her neck down her back and then lick between her asscheeks until your face is buried in her ass. There’s no greater feeling than being between her ass cheeks. Flick your tongue on her asshole. Then bury yourself in there. Get that tongue up in that ass. I love eating ass. And she will too. If she’s a kinky freak, she’ll probably love it. Even if she doesn’t love it, it will be a memorable experience. If she hates it, give her walking papers and kick her to the curb.

As far as position, I recommend that you have her face down on the bed with her ass up in the air doggy style. That gives you a really great window to get in between those asscheeks and hit the bullseye with gusto.

After you give that ass a good licking, it will be all covered in spit. Licking ass is a great pre-cursor to anal. That said, don’t forgo the lube just because there’s some spit. There’s never too much lube. Get the lube if you’re going to go the anal route. It’s not a must to do anal here, of course. A good hard doggy-style fucking may be more than enough to have her gripping the sheets and yelling your name.


Next tip: ? 

Previous Tip: Kiss the Back of Her Neck

Sex Tip: Kiss the Back of Her Neck | #SexManual #SexTip #LPRTG


Weekly Sex Tip #1

Each woman is different, this is rule number one. You may find a few who behave the same way. I’ve even had runs where five to ten like the same soft circular stroking of the clit with the soft pad of my middle finger and then the next chick I’m in bed with wants to have her pussy finger fucked hard while I twist her nipples with all my strength. So there may be patterns and tendencies, but ultimately you need to watch and listen to your partner and pick up on visual clues that she’s into something. If not, scrap it.

One thing that I find the majority of women do like is having their necks kissed and licked. Something about behind behind her and letting your lips rub against her soft, smooth skin gets her excited. You should see goosebumps or some other sign that you’re getting to her. Move to her ear and lick. Then softly bite her neck like you’re wolves. When she offers her neck to you, she’s showing she trusts you so don’t draw blood (unless that’s her fetish). Just kiss her romantically.

My wife has an amazing scalloped back so I follow the sensual lines from the back of her neck down her spine all the way to her ass crack. Then when she’s wet as a splash pond, I take her from behind.

Next sex tip: Eating Ass

Choose your own SEXcapade Mash Up Piece: G-strung | Choose your own kink | #LPRTG

CHOOSE YOUR OWN SEXCAPADE™ is a pulpy erotic read about you and for you in which you can choose what happens next


You missed your chance to Pre-Order 100% FREE but stay tuned for a similar offer for the Sex Manual coming out this Summer. Also, even though you cannot pre-order I’ll be happy to send you one free in exchange for a blurb so click “pre-order” and give your mailing address so I know where to send one.

Instructions: Just go ahead and read G-strung’s Custard Parade as you would any other book but when the main character “you” is left with some choices click the link to the choice you would most likely choose and then follow to the next part. If a choice you would love to make is missing, let me know in the comments below and I’ll scribble it down. This is an extensive, labyrinthine preview. Click here to Pre-Order the Complete Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade by Moctezuma Johnson completely FREE. Let’s begin, huh? 

G-strung’s Custard Parade

Your dick is out in your hand. It’s big but not fully hard. You know you have a big dick because when you’re not hard all the excess skin that will stretch out when the hormones fire and the blood flows is bunched up from under the mushroom head all the way back to the root, where the balls hang out like steroid-laced raisins. You pull the mushroom head and all that bunched up skin stretches. The blood is starting to flow. That’s because of who lies in front of you.

G-strung, as you all called her, was paid beforehand (they said) and lying face down on the white tile floor with her brown skin tight, taut, and hella fine. She was lying face down with her head in her hands. She was kicking her toes into the floor and laughing into her hands. She was cute a pink glittery button. No joke. She was. Her smile was the shit poets write about when sober. Her ass cheeks were two scoops of chocolate ice cream. If god gave out sample of her ass in little pink plastic spoons, damn, god would be popular. I don’t mean this American right wing popular I mean there would be lines trying to get in like heaven was a Haagen Dazs on a humid August day in Brooklyn. G-string was making a giggling and whining sound at the same time. The walls were white. She was feeling like she was in an insane asylum. She was kicking her toes into the ground like she couldn’t take it anymore. You thought she may have been cold, or too stoned. You looked down on her, not because she was brown and you were white. You were no racist and had dated Asians, Latinas, and other races, religions, and groupies for rival bands and sports teams before. You were open minded. They said you’d fuck anything with a pulse. You were that type, they said. They called you Sticky Rice, cause you liked Asian Chicks and admittedly jerked off rampantly. You were proud of it. Porn wasn’t something you hid. Anyway, although it wasn’t pejorative you did look down on G-strung. You looked down on her because she was lying on the floor with her beautiful ass smiling at you and you were standing over her. You had to look down at her. Now, you had to decide what to do next. You had choices. She was already paid, they assured you, and all yours. You had to take her. You could take her any which way you wanted. They say the world is your oyster, right? She was your clam. Here were your choices:


Choose your own SEXcapade © 2015 by Moctezuma Johnson 

*note – this is kind of a work in progress, any ‘sorry’ links will go live little by little (have patience with me, this was a huge undertaking! lol)

How To Give Head | Sex Tips | Wipe Your Ass With That Cosmo


When drunk at the bar, when chatting with a fan, when lying in bed with the wife the question seems to always come up: How to Give Good Head

Many women have professed to me their amazing skills at sucking dick. When I ask why they think they are sucking superstars, I hear answers like “I’ve never heard any complaints” or something to that effect. That is hardly roaring support from a man who has put his most sensitive appendage into your toothy mouth, ladies. Kid yourself no more!

Men know the truth: less than 2% of women can really suck a dick like a pro. Chances are the girl with whom you’re speaking is a shit cocksucker. And the scary part is she doesn’t even know it. Wipe your ass with what Cosmo has been telling you!

Here are some tips for women to learn to suck dick well, from a guys perspective. Women, print them out and post them on the refrigerator. Men, print them out and post them to your belly so she can get a good look at the right time.

How to Give Good Head Sex Tips:

  1. Kneel – position is key, for role understanding, for ease and depth of cock-taking, and for the visual pleasure of the dude. It’s not the only great position, but it’s the starting point. Kneel down, it tells him your willing to put in the effort needed to suck a dick right.
  2. Make eye contact – make him feel like you’re there to pleasure him, like you aim to please and serve. Smiling is not necessary but it won’t hurt.
  3. Lick the balls and the shaft – this will make him feel like you want to do a good job, like you desire all of him.
  4. Take it into your mouth and swirl the tongue around it – have a little fun with his cock. Imagine you are French kissing him, but not on his mouth, on his beautiful dick.
  5. Make sure you go until his balls are against your lips – you have to go all the way down if you want to really do a great job (you can learn more on how to do this below but in more depth–lol–on many other great sites. I’m just telling that this is where the money’s at, in deepthroat.
  6. Relax your throat – Let his cock into your mouth. Breath around it and through your nose. When you feel like your choking let it out and take a deep breath in. When the tip reaches the back of your throat, swallow.
  7. Lay on the bed (or couch) and let your head hang off – this position allows him to really get deep down your throat! Let him fuck your throat! Let him take control! This is the hottest part and probably when he’ll cum
  8. Depth is everything – If you swallow his whole cock, he will be obsessed with your mouth and even the rest of you.

Those are the basics, and basically women don’t possess this list. There is a lot of messing around with the head, scratching it with your teeth, sucking it like you’re vacuuming, peehole licking, and other nonsense that really doesn’t feel very good.


Feel free to post comments and ideas below. Thanks.

How to Really Convince your girlfriend to take a Facial | #LPRTG #EARTG #HowToFuck


 Another Installment from the Instructional Series

“The Facial”

The Wonderful Climax that lands on a Face

Stocks can be quite persuasive!

Stocks can be quite persuasive!

Giving your girlfriend/wife/one-night-stand-whore a facial is a very important and complex ritual that any true man must master. Every couple goes through this same routine: The guy isn’t happy until the girlfriend routinely takes his nut every morning, or evening, or whatever hour they agree upon, but many men let their girlfriends dictate. This is, of course, a big mistake. Some people go through all kinds of trouble to make their loved one, slave, or sex toy take nut-butter (see images). This is a waste of time and energy and it really shouldn’t be. Your efforts are needed elsewhere and a facial is your privileged that you should be tapping into. It really shouldn’t be too terribly long before your cum is hitting her nose and eyes if you follow some simple steps, such as coercing her with lore of moisturized skin, tempting her to conform with the regularity of which it’s done in all the popular porn movies, telling her she’ll be your princess, and if necessary (or if you just want) by telling her that you love her dearly.

The first thing is to remind her that choad is in fact very good for her skin and that she’s already putting it on her face after every shower when she uses all those haute couture products that she uses. Haute Couture cum is great! The next thing to remind her is that all the porn girls do it. You can easily show her a blowjob and cumshot compilation videos in abundance at, or, or She will probably enjoy watching the porn. If she doesn’t, you may have a lot of work to do convincing her and should probably consider buying some stocks (see images). If you do buy stocks, simply lock her in and go to work–end of story. After you come on her bound face, tell her what a dumb slut she is and photograph her and send to this blog. They love the humiliation; that will make her day. If none of these tips help, you’re going to have to ask her if she wants to be your princess. “Of course,” she’ll say and then you put a tiara on her head and jizz all over it and her hair and her face. Also, you probably need to tell her that you love her and be very gentle with her. She may not be ready for a facial for whatever reason. Don’t feel too shy to beg her to take your load. If begging gets her to kneel and be your cum target you should feel like a stud. Also, if she begrudgingly kneels and lets the semen splatter her then you must either photograph it for posterity–because it will be a long time till the next one, if there is ever a next one–or you should immediately call her a stupid cum dump just to see the horror on her face.

Part of the Instructional Series by Moctezuma Johnson

Remember that no slut, err girl, is born ready to take a facial but they are all willing to learn to love it. The onus is on you, dudes. You have to work her into becoming your personal cumpig little by little. That said, you can surely convince her and feel like a real man. Girls will do all kinds of kinky shit for the man they love. Don’t worry. Remember the death of the Alpha Man in modern society is leading to his resurgence.

Post your experiences below and ask me if there’s any other how-to that you need. Happy cum-shooting!

Why is the facial so important?
Marking your lover with your seed is quite empowering for a number of reasons. Tantamount is that the visual side of sex is really important to men (as Callie Press says in Give Great Head). Seeing the cum on my girl’s face turns me on. Also, knowing that there’s no chance of pregnancy and the session is focused on pleasure and nothing more is hot. It gives a nasty feel to the encounter. And, as George Clinton says, “All that is good is nasty!”

How to Convince Your Girlfriend to Let Me Face Fuck her | #Facefucking #DeepthroatDecember #LPRTG | aka How to Cheat


 Aka, How to Cheat, How to Steal a Girl and Fuck her Throat with Reckless Abandon

We already covered how to get her to let you face fuck her but now we’re covering the way more important bit about how to get me to jam cock into your girlfriend’s mouth. It’s really not all that hard to seduce your latent slut and get her kneeling and gagging. There are just a few things to consider and she’ll be eating my nut-butter in minutes. Most hot girls are unlikely to want to disrupt any good atmosphere. So get the party started. The first thing is to get her laughing. Once they start having fun they are really not remiss to eat my cum. After getting your girl to laugh, and while making her chuckle, I get her really drunk. Now I start rubbing her ass, her back, her shoulders, her hand, her nipples, her tits, her pussy, and then her asshole. The whore has been dying for deep-dicking all night, so getting her to stay with me isn’t hard. Watch the way her eyes dart around the bar, she’s looking for dick — and mine is going to be pounding her tonsils while you’re home watching and touching yourself (now that you’re reading this, you will be defiling my girl soon while I watch porn and jerk it).

After the bar is nearly empty, I take your bitch outside and push her against the wall. We kiss. My cock is already out. I shove her down. Her eyes open wide and my pole pounds against her tonsils. She makes a heaving sound and then throws herself at my cock, choking herself, impaling herself — I don’t know why girls do this. Perhaps she likes the challenge of deepthroating a massive cock. Perhaps she cannot accept failure. I help her along by pushing her head against the wall and doing it to her. I see something in her eyes, a twinkle. She loves having an alpha male show her her place. She loves getting used hard. She’s sure of her role. She’s discovering herself. She enjoys submitting. She wants to serve. She’s ho. She’s calm.

I pull out and smack her with my cock. She stumbles back and her head knocks against the wall. I am about to say sorry when I realize she’s so turned on. “You like that, huh?”

She says, “I love big cock.”

I shake my head while looking down at her. “Then suck it,” I say.

“Cum in my mouth, baby,” she says. “I want to taste it.”

Slobber drips from my shaft onto the pavement. She is ready to fully submit and get face fucked how I dream it this time. She lets it bang deep down, her chin on my balls, her nose in my pubes, her throat wrapped tightly around the shaft of my cock. She’s nothing but my fantasy.

She looks hot getting her throat stuffed. I hold her head and blast off inside of her. She moans as each spurt erupts.


When a blowjob is good enough I hear steel drums in my head and my teeth fall out. It’s like my head has been filled with helium and I float over the clouds for a few minutes in post-fellatial space-travel. Me, the protein, and the pleasure principle take a cumulonimbus-dance and then I return to Earth, back to my body, kick the bitch out, and sleep. Be lucky enough to get the boot!


Her tits bloom as she gets her throat pounded. Artist’s rendition of the mental effect of deep throat on the brain of Moctezuma Johnson



Subliminal Message. Everybody loves Jynx and Moctezuma. Click the nipple to show your love.


Tastefully Airbrushed for your Pleasure || What the fuck? Playboy, too? || A Guest Post by Callie Press | #LPRTG #EARTG #Playboy


I want to thank Callie for agreeing to post on my dirty little site. She’s got more balls than most men I know and also has big tits. In other words, she’s a hot, mental Futa! Let me introduce her and then make way for the juggernaut of smart that is Ms. Press. 

While Callie could barely type a word thanks to being as high as the Fuck Force Five flying to Planet Alien Relish I asked her to guest post because she was blowing my mind with these ideas that all the alpha males have gone with Joe DiMaggio and (Paul Simon is a prick by the way, unrelated) and that even Playboy — what? — has given up on nudity and fallen into the horrifying, sanitized, apathetic throes of censorship and handbag carrying pussy-men. 

GUEST POST: CALLIE PRESS (tastefully airbrushed for your pleasure) 

So I’m recovering from surgery and full of hydrocodone, which means I am tweeting endless insane DMs to MJ. As a result, when I ranted at least somewhat coherently on a subject, I got this DM in return:

Guest post for me please! Pretty please. Pretty no nudity in playboy and I carry a handbag please.

How can I refuse? That’s 3 pleases from MJ without even one mention of a gagging blowjob or a gaping ass fuck, so I know he really, really meant it. Besides, I’d do it for him if he asked me in any case, if I wasn’t totally absent-minded about things.

So this topic is Playboy removing nudity from the magazine. I know print is dying (I know it first hand, I used to make a living in the newspaper industry) and I guess they want to be more PC since Hef is finally aware he’s mortal. And I’m as feminist as anybody. All my life I’ve done what I wanted because that’s what men do and I didn’t care if someone said I couldn’t do something ‘because I’m a girl.’ I was never ashamed of enjoying sex even though it didn’t go over too well in my religious household or in the small towns we landed in once we left Detroit.

But won’t someone think of the CHILDREN? What kind of men are we making?

Hear me out. Yeah, porn is everywhere on the internet. And it’s trivial to hide looking at it, even if you have a prudish wife like in that atrocious and hysterically funny made-by-a-local-church movie “Fight” (trust me it’s HIGH LARIOUS). Or even if you just have a jealous wife like I can be sometimes. (I want all the attention by those who have a cock, it’s just how I’m made). And little girls and little boys both need some evidence that their dads have a pair, no matter what kind of a shrieking harpy their mother may be.

I found my dad’s playboys when I was probably 12, under the seat of his car. They were there, instead of in the house, because my mom has always been a…difficult person. And I looked at them and it didn’t traumatize me. I have older sisters; the anatomy wasn’t new, but the beauty of the anatomy was. And it made me think, wow, Dad likes women, and Mom can’t control him so much that he stops liking women.

It was a good thing to know. For a lot of men, sadly, it seems this is the closest they ever come to having a spine. For some men, as lame as it is, it’s the only sort of ‘rebellion’ or ‘alpha behavior’ they can ever manage to get away with. And did my Mom know he had Playboys? Of course she knew. Every woman knows. It’s like the only ‘boys will be boys’ thing that is really acceptable out of a man, at least after a few kids, for most women in this day and age. It’s that little spark of ‘bad boy’ that we can just knowingly smile about, even if we pretend to be offended. (Even if you are truly offended, actually.)

What's missing? Oh, my balls. Shit.

What’s missing? Oh, my balls. Shit.

Not any more though. Now if you want to see a tasteful naked woman, you have to do it on the internet. Yeah, that happens, right? Kids can’t learn about males’ natural drives in such an innocent and healthy way. Hell, the first time my husband ever saw a naked woman was when he found his dad’s cache of playboys…how many grown men can say the same thing? A lot of you. Someday that will be none. They’ll only get what they see on the internet, which is of course in a frantic race to reach the bottom. Tomorrow’s men won’t learn by seeing lovingly shot, carefully airbrushed, tasteful nudity. Their first glimpse of a naked woman will probably be stumbling on gangbang sites or something that really can dehumanize women who like sex. There’s no personal context unless it’s like fifteen seconds of the hot wife and hubby on the couch saying the same things as the last fifty couples who sat on the couch.

What it’s going to do is just neuter most men even more than they already have been neutered. I’m not saying I want a world full of alpha males, but this is the kind of thing that puts the boot on the alphas’ necks and makes betas out of them. The good men who happen to be alphas are stuck pretending not to be. The actual alphas that are left ‘in the wild’ are going to be the sociopaths, and it’s going to make women even more susceptible to them than we already are.

I want men to have the chance to buy their ‘dirty magazines’ or whatever and let their wives and girlfriends know, maybe you can TAME me, but you can’t CASTRATE me. I’m glad my hubby still has his god damn Carmen Electra issue, even if it makes me so jealous I want to slap her. If he isn’t enjoying how women look, he sure as hell isn’t enjoying how I look.

Let the boys look, for fuck’s sake. It’s good for everybody.


$. Callie $

Callie Press is the genius who created Butterface, as if you didn’t know that. Also, she be hot and gives great head.


Saint to Slut – Is your girl a slut? | Tricks to ascertain her status


There’s nothing like making a girl go saint to slut

Defiling an innocent girl and getting her to impale herself on your dick is one of the great joys of sex. Another moment of bliss is watching the titties pop out. Watching panties come off is also a moment of glory, but I digress.

How to know if the girl you’re dealing with is a slut

A lot of women are sluts, so chances are you’re in the capable, good hands of one. Most women, and all great women, possess and inner slut who is dying to bust out of that conservative facade, grab you by the balls, and cream all over your dick. But before your ram it up her poop-chute, you may want to test the saint to slut waters first. I find this little trick quite helpful. Set a time limit the first time you talk to a girl. Ask her what her name is in the first twenty-five seconds and ask for a kiss twenty seconds later. If she kisses you then, you’ve likely got yourself a winner. I’m not saying that within a minute she will be in the bathroom kneeling and holding cock in her hand, but at this point it’s pretty safe to say she is leaning more towards whore than prude. If she is a whore, you’re ready to thrive in all aspects of my how-to series. The key thing to remember is that the transformation from saint to slut will not only make you happy, but it will fulfill a burning desire deep inside her too. And she will thank you for revealing her inner whore.

The How To Series – Useful Relationship Advice

This stuff works, guys. You can wipe your ass with Cosmo. The new world order has reduced men to whining little bitches. Yes, me too! I’m on a mission to reclaim my balls and stuff in the mouths of the masses. Come join me. Ladies welcome too!

Big Tits Small Waist

Women with big tits tend to be sluttier. Thank you, slutty women. Thank you. We love when you go Saint to Slut. We are grateful.