Some Stats about Reading Erotica
Erotic Smutpunk Will Make you MORE DESIRABLE
This is very interesting information that I got from reading some forums today.
Did you know men are most attracted to women who read erotica?
Get this! Sixty Percent of singles would rather date a book lover. That absolutely cracks me up. That’s our nature, isn’t it? We always want the impossible. So all those women out there reading suit smut on the subway would rather date a figment of their imagination than an actual flesh and blood man. However, don’t worry, dudes, forty percent would prefer a real dick to a wand and the mental image of a man from a book.
According to polls, men preferred women who read hardcore erotica. It seems men want their women to be well versed it what to do in the bedroom. So, ladies, get reading your smutpunk.
The other things to keep in mind, women, is that one in five men find the woman erotica reader to be the perfect type. I guess they think that women who read erotica will be open-minded sexually. That’s a big plus. The fact that men think about sex every three seconds coincides nicely with women projecting sexy. So get reading! And, men, be like the man in women’s minds.
*leave a comment if some stats about reading erotica surprised you. Thanks^^
Presidential Election Day 2016 – Yikes!
Well, all our worse fears have been stirred up by some serious asshole politics. Most voters no little more than a few sounds bytes, memes, or twitter posts. Very few Americans have a the complex understanding of politics and social justice that we would like. Even the Republican candidate has a very meager grasp on the issues. That said, it’s quite a depressing day and we could really use a little pick me up.
What will help turn this day from such an awful day to something a little more positive? Why SMUTPUNK, of course.
If you want to immerse yourself in politics you can choose from three political satires, two by me and one by Callie Press.
The Presidential Election Satires:
The main problem with this presidential election, as Genevieve Greene says, is that somebody will be elected. Personally, I think America needs a timeout and to sit in the corner for a few months until everybody calms down.
The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom
Read the Sex Manual right now
The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom
Why are you rubbing two sticks together in the bedroom? Get a flamethrower!
Ever wished your partner came with a small pamphlet on how to operate correctly? Well, now you have it. Moctezuma spent nearly a decade running a bar, writing erotica, and blogging. He gathered a lot of information. So you want to have mind-blowing sex but all you know is what your priest and Cosmo told you? You poor thing. Well, fret no more. Let Moctezuma Johnson share his research in this in-depth, self-help book. He has found out what’s plaguing most bedroom partners. It’s simply intimidation and insecurity. So many fans have asked him how to be better, sexier, and more experienced. Moctezuma speaks openly and honestly offering a series of very practical solutions for men and women. This non-fiction, how-to book is told with humor (a necessity for the bedroom) and compassion.
Whether male or female or transgender, The Sex Manual is the book you wish came with every person you’ve dated. Well, wish no more. It’s out, so add it to your kindle. Just the fact that you’re reading this description is proof that you’re ready to improve and you’re almost halfway there. This book will take you the rest of the way. It’s filled with ideas, game plans, tips, and list of clothing, toys, and poems to spice up your sex life.
Here’s a Visual Gallery to say Happy Birthday!
Bear in mind they go from PG-13 up to XXX as you scroll down
Well, that’s a SMUTPUNK happy Birthday! I emailed you coupon codes, so don’t forget to use them at the Smutpunk Book Shop. I hope that you have a wonderful day that rewards you with multiple orgasms, both physical and mental.
No idea what coupons I’m talking about? Then join MJ’s Brand New Smutpunk List and get your very special birthday wish and coupons for free books.
Weekly Sex Tip #4
Each person is different, this is rule number one. So you have to get to know each partner. Some partners need gentle touches, others want rough angry sex. Here’s the key to my angry sex tip. What makes angry sex so hot? Passion.
If you’re having angry sex with someone you’re with somebody who knows how to push your buttons. That person is probably somebody who you’ve known for a while. Perhaps a spouse or a long term partner. Once in a while it’s a loathsome freak you’ve picked up and plan to hate fuck right from the beginning (no judgments, I’ve been there!). Now the disgust, anger, and hate have the adrenaline pumping and have you feeling alive! This is passion. Passion is the main ingredient in angry sex. It’s what takes the boring out of this rough romp in the hay. Funnel all the nasty feelings you have into your sex drive and voila! Men will have raging hard-ons and women will be as sensitive as a hairless kitty.
Now go for it. This is the time for rough facefucking, for thrusting dick into cunt like he’s a jackhammer trying to rip up the tarmac. Fuck one orgasm, let’s build a goddamn Egyptian pyramid. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. This is no time to be civil, get that nose in her cunt, dudes. Floss with her bush. Lick that asshole, ladies. Gag on his dick! This is Angry Sex, Hate Fucking for Lovers, Make-Up Sex, Break Up Sex, I Hate Your Guts Sex. Whatever you want, take it. You’re a beast! You’re an animal. You’re nothing but cock. You’re whole body is cunt.
Tired of him running his mouth? Grab him by the hair and sit on his face. Rub your cunt lips over him until he shuts the fuck up and pleasures you. Guys, bored of her whining? Fuck her so hard and deep that those whines turn to screams and her nails draw blood as she cums repeatedly.
Oh your partner is a darling, you say? No way to rile him or her up? Well, here’s an angry sex tip newsflash.
Well, fuck that. Pick a fight. Steal his dinner. Lock her out. Forget to pick her up. Bring the neighbor’s panties into the apartment by accident from the laundry room. Yell at your partner in public (that might lead not only to hate sex, but to public sex, throw in a voyeur or two and you have the trifecta).
Next sex tip: How to Make Homemade Porn
Previous Sex Tip: Properly Warming Up An Ass
Here are two links that are useful if you’re doubting the US’s overwhelming military supremacy, the likes of which is pretty damn scary for just about every citizen on the planet.
If you’re feeling frisky, try the MJ questionnaire:
Peel Another Banana, America
You love Aztec bitches
in their feathered headress
tattoed Teotitlan titties
hairless heiroglypic cunts
Today Tijuana has–
Meshica cunt shtuffed
full of obsidian cock–
Dress her up like an Aztec
in jaguar skin
to sacrifice at the altar
of thick Moctezuma cock
lay her on the stone
high atop pyramid
high on princess pussy
with King-sized cock
plunge that guatemalteca
like you were splitting her
in two, ripping her apart
to get her entrails out
splatter that tomato
chocolate- and coffee-inventing
face with dick drip
diciendo: “dame dame dame
todo el poder!”
Read the Rest of the Poem on the Full Poem Page, Sorry (I had some formatting issues and couldn’t get it all to paste here well)