How to Convince Your Girlfriend/Wife/Other to take a Facial #SexTips #LPRTG

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 Another Installment from the Instructional Series

“The Facial” (aka How to Convince Your Girlfriend/Wife/Other to take a Facial)

The Wonderful Climax that lands on a Face

Stocks can be quite persuasive!

Stocks can be quite persuasive!

Giving your girlfriend/wife/one-night-stand-whore a facial is a very important and complex ritual that any true man must master. Every couple goes through this same routine: The guy isn’t happy until the girlfriend routinely takes his nut every morning, or evening, or whatever hour they agree upon, but many men let their girlfriends dictate. This is, of course, a big mistake. Some people go through all kinds of trouble to make their loved one, slave, or sex toy take nut-butter (see images). This is a waste of time and energy and it really shouldn’t be. Your efforts are needed elsewhere and a facial is your privileged that you should be tapping into. It really shouldn’t be too terribly long before your cum is hitting her nose and eyes if you follow some simple steps, such as coercing her with lore of moisturized skin, tempting her to conform with the regularity of which it’s done in all the popular porn movies, telling her she’ll be your princess, and if necessary (or if you just want) by telling her that you love her dearly.

The first thing is to remind her that choad is in fact very good for her skin and that she’s already putting it on her face after every shower when she uses all those haute couture products that she uses. Haute Couture cum is great! The next thing to remind her is that all the porn girls do it. You can easily show her a blowjob and cumshot compilation videos in abundance at slutload.com, or youjizz.com, or stupidwhoreseatmoctezumacum.com. She will probably enjoy watching the porn. If she doesn’t, you may have a lot of work to do convincing her and should probably consider buying some stocks (see images). If you do buy stocks, simply lock her in and go to work–end of story. After you come on her bound face, tell her what a dumb slut she is and photograph her and send to this blog. They love the humiliation; that will make her day. If none of these tips help, you’re going to have to ask her if she wants to be your princess. “Of course,” she’ll say and then you put a tiara on her head and jizz all over it and her hair and her face. Also, you probably need to tell her that you love her and be very gentle with her. She may not be ready for a facial for whatever reason. Don’t feel too shy to beg her to take your load. If begging gets her to kneel and be your cum target you should feel like a stud. Also, if she begrudgingly kneels and lets the semen splatter her then you must either photograph it for posterity–because it will be a long time till the next one, if there is ever a next one–or you should immediately call her a stupid cum dump just to see the horror on her face.

Part of the Instructional Series by Moctezuma Johnson

Remember that no slut, err girl, is born ready to take a facial but they are all willing to learn to love it. The onus is on you, dudes. You have to work her into becoming your personal cumpig little by little. That said, you can surely convince her and feel like a real man. Girls will do all kinds of kinky shit for the man they love. Don’t worry. Remember the death of the Alpha Man in modern society is leading to his resurgence.

Post your experiences below and ask me if there’s any other how-to that you need. Happy cum-shooting!

Epilogue:
Why is the facial so important?
Marking your lover with your seed is quite empowering for a number of reasons. Tantamount is that the visual side of sex is really important to men (as Callie Press says in Give Great Head). Seeing the cum on my girl’s face turns me on. Also, knowing that there’s no chance of pregnancy and the session is focused on pleasure and nothing more is hot. It gives a nasty feel to the encounter. And, as George Clinton says, “All that is good is nasty!”

New Tabbed Smutpunk Bookshelf

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New Tabbed Smutpunk Bookshelf

All the madcap cyberpunk, splatterpunk, genre-blending, gender-bending S. Punk you’ve come to expect from MJ, aka King SMUTPUNK

Click the tabs to see what books lie in that category. Start with Futanari and work your way all the way to Sci-Fi. 

Futadelic (see review

Romancing the Hot Stone (see review

Futa Dicksickle Stand (Cumming May 29th) — Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!

Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired (Season One)

Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired (Season Two) — Cumming Soon — Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!

Messy Blowjob Gunge Pie Steak Pi Day

Promotional Poster for the Steak and BJ Bundle

Jane’s Steak and BJ Night Surprise (see review

The Nose (see review

The Steak and BJ Bundle (see review

Real and Imaginary

Poisonous Apples

Smutpunk Poetry (coming soon) Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!

The Black Book (coming soon) Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!

Click the Tongue for Fun

Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade

A story all about YOU in which YOU make all the decisions!

Pop-n-Lollie--Pulp

Triangulum Stain – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos

Triangulum Stain 2 – Battle for Alien Relish

The TriStain Universe Episodes:

Pop & Lollie (Teabagged by the Sentient Lollipop aka the Candy Cunt Saga)

 

 

 

Am I missing something? Let me know. Please share this ever-updating bookshelf with your followers, too. Thank you.

SEX TIP #6 – Role Play

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SEX TIP No. 6 – Role Play

I’m the King of Spain and you’re a captured Moor wife thrown into my harem!

elly-tran-ha-in-korean-sexy-bikiniDon’t just get on top of each other and pump. Give a little historical context to the thing. Maybe you’re the professor and she’s the slutty student. Maybe she’s the Queen of England and you’re an attendant. Maybe you’re a beast and she’s your weak, defenseless prey. Maybe you’re the priest giving her a naughty, nasty, masturbatory penance. Spice it up by playing some roles. It’s XXXmas time so a naughty girl and good santa or vice versa can work, as well as some elf-punks getting jiggy on the rooftops. You really can’t go wrong with a little roleplay. Something about leaving your own constrictions has enormous, exponential freedom attached to it. I highly recommend you pretend to be me and have the time of your life. Oh yeah. Have yourself a SMUTPUNK spree. Read the books and apply reenactments liberally.

Next Tip: I have no idea (see previous)

Previous Sex Tip: Homemade Porn – Sex Tip No. 5 – Camera Placement for Home Porn

 

Roleplay / Cosplay Image Gallery featuring smoking hot chicks:

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See More of the Cosplay Gallery

Homemade Porn – Sex Tip No. 5 – Camera Placement for Home Porn

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Sex Tip #5

Homemade Porn Secrets Revealed

CAMERA PLACEMENT: HOW TO MAKE A PORN VIDEO

Skullfucking | Jizzing on tits/face | Slapping Sluts with Cock | Gaping

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  1. first get yourself a slut, pig, or slave
  2. then you must think about camera placement
  3. film her from many angles for short periods of time
  4. use short clips about 20 to 30 seconds at a time (no more than a minute)
  5. Use the iPhone’s iMovie trailer to organize your homemade porn into an awesome personal porn opus (no, seriously, this is a fucking great idea!)
CAMERA PLACEMENT
  1. Before starting your own home porn movie, have her model a bit
    • her with clothes answering questions
      • name?
      • first time on video?
      • like cum?
      • like blowing dudes?
      • like big cock?
      • are you going to suck my big cock?
      • will you give me your ass today?
      • are you a slut? pig? slave? ugly whore?
      • do you have a boyfriend?
  1. For shooting a homemade porn blowjob there are a few positions.
    • the knees (guy standing):
      1. You can shoot up to down on the tripod.
      2. Or you can go down to up.
      3. You can shoot from the side, most common,
      4. or through the guy’s legs—which features the girl’s tits.
      5. shoot for the side but down to up
      6. and shoot from far away
      7. she can hold it up to down, side to side, down to up
  1. the knees (guy sitting)
  2. straddling her
    • remember to…

      1. gag her
      2. make her bob up and down fast
      3. skullfuck her
      4. put cock into her cheek
      5. slap her face
      6. jizz on her face
  1. For shots of straight sex in your homemade porn, there are also a few ideas.
    1. missionary
      • first person view
      • from the side
      • from behind her, she must hold the camera
    1. her doggy style
      • shoot down to up from behind
      • shoot from in front while fish-hooking her
      • shoot from far away, side or ¾
      • first person, yank her hair
      • remember to…
        1. fishhook her
        2. yank her hair
        3. step on her head
        4. pour lube on her ass while doing her and then
        5. switch to from cunt to ass
        6. slap her ass cheeks
    1. cowgirl
      1. first person, tits and face
      2. facing the couch to shoot your ass
        1. spread it open with hands
      1. side
      2. fuck her ass
    1. her on her side
      1. camera over her
      2. camera facing her head and tits
      3. camera facing her ass
    1. her pretzeled
      1. placed over her shooting down from somewhat of a distance
    1. cumshot
      1. her facing cock and camera
      2. camera high and side,
      3. film all the cum on her after you finish
      4. make her suck more after
      5. have her hold the camera facing the cock and face
      6. get up close to see the cumshot

IDEAS

check to make sure you complete these:

  • Make her blow you for a while.
  • Slap her with your cock
  • make her smile while you slap her with cock even though she won’t really like it
  • Make her bend over so you can shoot that asshole
  • Have her say she’s
    • a slut
    • a slave
    • a whore
    • a pig
  • if she complains, gag her with a bandana
  • Fuck her fat ass with the camera low and behind
  • Pour yogurt on her and make her blow you
  • piss on her
  • bind her hands
  • cut her clothes

This is just an intro

There are tons of other ideas. These are just the basics, but they are a good start for porn amateurs. The key is to shoot lots of short scenes. Then get on iMovie (I recommend as a trailer) and paste these scenes in and you’ll get quite a high-octane little highlight show to give you hours of jerking and jilling pleasure. Enjoy! Remember to send me your creations. Don’t worry, it’s just art. So I won’t tell anybody.

$.

Previous Tip: Angry Sex

Next Tip: Roleplay

Free Download: The Sex Manual by Moctezuma Johnson

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Free Download: Claim it Right Now on Amazon

All day long the Sex Manual is Free

24 October 2016, Cyberspace — Click to get a Free Sexual Flamethrower How To Kit eBook. Don’t be shy. Download the book for free and give it a read. I promise you that you will learn something and have a laugh or two along the way. It’s great for women trying to spice up their sex life and increase their skill going down. Men, learn some ways to get what you want. Let’s call that the mental art of seduction, shall we? So if you are having trouble convincing your partner to go ass to mouth or take a facial in public, this book will solve your problems. Give it a try! What do you have to lose, it’s a free download! Get it and save it for a rainy day, if you want. The-Sex-Manual

If you love the book, which I hope you will, please leave a review either on my site or on Amazon. Reviews are like little gold flakes to an author as we try to smelt it into a gold bar. So even a one sentence review of “I enjoyed it” is incredibly useful to me. Thank you in advance.

So, please enjoy your free download of the Sex Manual and leave a review if you have enjoyed it (or hated it) so that others know.

Thanks so much.

Rimmies,

MJ

 

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free-download

Pretty Asian Girl with a Bag may be hiding a Surprise

The-Sex-Manual

Pretty Asian Girl with a bag

Wait, what’s in the bag? Is it makeup? Is it a book? Is it a butt plug? Read the Sex Manual by Moctezuma Johnson and find out. This non-fiction manual is loaded with useful advice, tons of metaphors, and a lot of over-the-top humor, the kind you’ve come to expect from Moctezuma Johnson. It is written in two sections, one for men and one for women, so it has everybody covered. Learn how to give better head, dress better, and how to convince your partner of a wide range of naughty, no, fuck that we aren’t on facecunt, downright motherfucking nasty shit like ass to mouth and facefucking in public.

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The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom

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The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom

 

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Read the Sex Manual right now22 23 2427

 

The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom

Why are you rubbing two sticks together in the bedroom? Get a flamethrower!

Ever wished your partner came with a small pamphlet on how to operate correctly? Well, now you have it. Moctezuma spent nearly a decade running a bar, writing erotica, and blogging. He gathered a lot of information. So you want to have mind-blowing sex but all you know is what your priest and Cosmo told you? You poor thing. Well, fret no more. Let Moctezuma Johnson share his research in this in-depth, self-help book. He has found out what’s plaguing most bedroom partners. It’s simply intimidation and insecurity. So many fans have asked him how to be better, sexier, and more experienced. Moctezuma speaks openly and honestly offering a series of very practical solutions for men and women. This non-fiction, how-to book is told with humor (a necessity for the bedroom) and compassion.

Whether male or female or transgender, The Sex Manual is the book you wish came with every person you’ve dated. Well, wish no more. It’s out, so add it to your kindle. Just the fact that you’re reading this description is proof that you’re ready to improve and you’re almost halfway there. This book will take you the rest of the way. It’s filled with ideas, game plans, tips, and list of clothing, toys, and poems to spice up your sex life.

The Angry Sex Tip | Sex Tip #4

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Weekly Sex Tip #4

Each person is different, this is rule number one. So you have to get to know each partner. Some partners need gentle touches, others want rough angry sex. Here’s the key to my angry sex tip. What makes angry sex so hot? Passion.

angry-sex-tipIf you’re having angry sex with someone you’re with somebody who knows how to push your buttons. That person is probably somebody who you’ve known for a while. Perhaps a spouse or a long term partner. Once in a while it’s a loathsome freak you’ve picked up and plan to hate fuck right from the beginning (no judgments, I’ve been there!). Now the disgust, anger, and hate have the adrenaline pumping and have you feeling alive! This is passion. Passion is the main ingredient in angry sex. It’s what takes the boring out of this rough romp in the hay. Funnel all the nasty feelings you have into your sex drive and voila! Men will have raging hard-ons and women will be as sensitive as a hairless kitty.

Now go for it. This is the time for rough facefucking, for thrusting dick into cunt like he’s a jackhammer trying to rip up the tarmac. Fuck one orgasm, let’s build a goddamn Egyptian pyramid. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. This is no time to be civil, get that nose in her cunt, dudes. Floss with her bush. Lick that asshole, ladies. Gag on his dick! This is Angry Sex, Hate Fucking for Lovers, Make-Up Sex, Break Up Sex, I Hate Your Guts Sex. Whatever you want, take it. You’re a beast! You’re an animal. You’re nothing but cock. You’re whole body is cunt.

Tired of him running his mouth? Grab him by the hair and sit on his face. Rub your cunt lips over him until he shuts the fuck up and pleasures you. Guys, bored of her whining? Fuck her so hard and deep that those whines turn to screams and her nails draw blood as she cums repeatedly.

angry-sex-tipOh your partner is a darling, you say? No way to rile him or her up? Well, here’s an angry sex tip newsflash.

Well, fuck that. Pick a fight. Steal his dinner. Lock her out. Forget to pick her up. Bring the neighbor’s panties into the apartment by accident from the laundry room. Yell at your partner in public (that might lead not only to hate sex, but to public sex, throw in a voyeur or two and you have the trifecta).

 

 

 

Next sex tip: How to Make Homemade Porn

Previous Sex Tip: Properly Warming Up An Ass

 

A little Morning Glory #HotWife #EARTG #LPRTG

the curves of her ass

were smooth and bulbous

like looking at a peach

in basket

all the way on the East End

 

the peach was removed

wrapped in bed-sheets

pale and supple

my tongue traced her curves

from the nape of her neck

down the scalloped canals of her spine

down to the wet slit

 

she turned over, half-asleep

she presented the pussy to me

I teased it with my nose

placed my tongue on her clit

she used her hips to push

her clit over my tongue

I held her gorgeous ass cheeks

and she grinded into the bed

I licked, sucked,

and brushed her swollen clit with my big bottom lip

she held me head

and, even though she was trying to be quiet, moaned