Aka, How to Cheat, How to Steal a Girl and Fuck her Throat with Reckless Abandon
We already covered how to get her to let you face fuck her but now we’re covering the way more important bit about how to get me to jam cock into your girlfriend’s mouth. It’s really not all that hard to seduce your latent slut and get her kneeling and gagging. There are just a few things to consider and she’ll be eating my nut-butter in minutes. Most hot girls are unlikely to want to disrupt any good atmosphere. So get the party started. The first thing is to get her laughing. Once they start having fun they are really not remiss to eat my cum. After getting your girl to laugh, and while making her chuckle, I get her really drunk. Now I start rubbing her ass, her back, her shoulders, her hand, her nipples, her tits, her pussy, and then her asshole. The whore has been dying for deep-dicking all night, so getting her to stay with me isn’t hard. Watch the way her eyes dart around the bar, she’s looking for dick — and mine is going to be pounding her tonsils while you’re home watching youjizz.com and touching yourself (now that you’re reading this, you will be defiling my girl soon while I watch porn and jerk it).
“Cum in my mouth, baby,” she says. “I want to taste it.” Slobber drips from my shaft onto the pavement. She is ready to fully submit and get face fucked how I dream it. She lets cock bang deep down, her chin on my balls, her nose in my pubes, her throat wrapped tightly around the shaft of my cock. She’s nothing but my fantasy.Moctezuma Johnson
After the bar is nearly empty, I take your bitch outside and push her against the wall. We kiss. My cock is already out. I shove her down. Her eyes open wide and my pole pounds against her tonsils. She makes a heaving sound and then throws herself at my cock, choking herself, impaling herself — I don’t know why girls do this. Perhaps she likes the challenge of deepthroating a massive cock. Perhaps she cannot accept failure. I help her along by pushing her head against the wall and doing it to her. I see something in her eyes, a twinkle. She loves having an alpha male show her her place. She loves getting used hard. She’s sure of her role. She’s discovering herself. She enjoys submitting. She wants to serve. She’s ho. She’s calm.
I pull out and smack her with my cock. She stumbles back and her head knocks against the wall. I am about to say sorry when I realize she’s so turned on. “You like that, huh?”
She says, “I love big cock.”
I shake my head while looking down at her. “Then suck it,” I say.
“Cum in my mouth, baby,” she says. “I want to taste it.”
Slobber drips from my shaft onto the pavement. She is ready to fully submit and get face fucked how I dream it this time. She lets it bang deep down, her chin on my balls, her nose in my pubes, her throat wrapped tightly around the shaft of my cock. She’s nothing but my fantasy.
She feels now how she went from your cherished loved one into my total fucking whore. She swallows me spunk. She owns it. She the slut. She the cum eating whore. I new identity has revealed her true self.
In my apartment she slathers baby oil all over her big ass cheeks with a huge, childish grin on her face. “I feel like a slip and slide,” she says as her hand slides all over her cute little ass.
I sit on my couch with her on top and facing away from me and fuck her in her asshole. You should see her now, body all oiled, my hands behind her head, keeping her pinned while her tits squeeze together, her empty pussy open, lips flapping in the rough wind as she gets sodomized hard and deep. She still grins like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She bites her own lip and then yells out, “fuck me!”
Her eyes roll into her head. I have the camera set up and watch her on my TV. “Do you see yourself, whore?”
When a blowjob is good enough I hear steel drums in my head and my teeth fall out. It’s like my head has been filled with helium and I float over the clouds for a few minutes in post-fellatial space-travel. Me, the protein, and the pleasure principle take a cumulonimbus-dance and then I return to Earth, back to my body, kick the bitch out, and sleep. Be lucky enough to get the boot!
Another Installment from the Instructional Series
“The Facial” (aka How to Convince Your Girlfriend/Wife/Other to take a Facial)
The Wonderful Climax that lands on a Face
Giving your girlfriend/wife/one-night-stand-whore a facial is a very important and complex ritual that any true man must master. Every couple goes through this same routine: The guy isn’t happy until the girlfriend routinely takes his nut every morning, or evening, or whatever hour they agree upon, but many men let their girlfriends dictate. This is, of course, a big mistake. Some people go through all kinds of trouble to make their loved one, slave, or sex toy take nut-butter (see images). This is a waste of time and energy and it really shouldn’t be. Your efforts are needed elsewhere and a facial is your privileged that you should be tapping into. It really shouldn’t be too terribly long before your cum is hitting her nose and eyes if you follow some simple steps, such as coercing her with lore of moisturized skin, tempting her to conform with the regularity of which it’s done in all the popular porn movies, telling her she’ll be your princess, and if necessary (or if you just want) by telling her that you love her dearly.
The first thing is to remind her that choad is in fact very good for her skin and that she’s already putting it on her face after every shower when she uses all those haute couture products that she uses. Haute Couture cum is great! The next thing to remind her is that all the porn girls do it. You can easily show her a blowjob and cumshot compilation videos in abundance at slutload.com, or youjizz.com, or stupidwhoreseatmoctezumacum.com. She will probably enjoy watching the porn. If she doesn’t, you may have a lot of work to do convincing her and should probably consider buying some stocks (see images). If you do buy stocks, simply lock her in and go to work–end of story. After you come on her bound face, tell her what a dumb slut she is and photograph her and send to this blog. They love the humiliation; that will make her day. If none of these tips help, you’re going to have to ask her if she wants to be your princess. “Of course,” she’ll say and then you put a tiara on her head and jizz all over it and her hair and her face. Also, you probably need to tell her that you love her and be very gentle with her. She may not be ready for a facial for whatever reason. Don’t feel too shy to beg her to take your load. If begging gets her to kneel and be your cum target you should feel like a stud. Also, if she begrudgingly kneels and lets the semen splatter her then you must either photograph it for posterity–because it will be a long time till the next one, if there is ever a next one–or you should immediately call her a stupid cum dump just to see the horror on her face.
|Part of the Instructional Series by Moctezuma Johnson|
Remember that no slut, err girl, is born ready to take a facial but they are all willing to learn to love it. The onus is on you, dudes. You have to work her into becoming your personal cumpig little by little. That said, you can surely convince her and feel like a real man. Girls will do all kinds of kinky shit for the man they love. Don’t worry. Remember the death of the Alpha Man in modern society is leading to his resurgence.
Post your experiences below and ask me if there’s any other how-to that you need. Happy cum-shooting!
Sploosh — How to Eat Pussy – Sex Tip #14
Eating Pussy isn’t that hard if you follow these three steps: be gentle, take your time, and dive in.
First you need to be gentle with a pussy. You can’t just grab her by the pussy and expect her to sploosh all over. No no no. Sploosh takes touch. You need to feel where she is as far as sensitivity and where she is emotionally. Women can be incredibly complex, like I can’t cum unless the light is on and the music is loud, or incredibly simple such as I cum no matter what, no matter, no bullshit. First, you need to be gentle with her while doing a little reconasaince work to figure out where she is on the maintenance spectrum. Do you need to get every small detail right to please this pussy, or is just a matter of find the clit and put your tongue on it?
Take your time and work with the pussy. Don’t go right for the clit and suck on it vigorously. No. Start with foreplay. You need to provide her with kisses. Deep French kisses, of course, are the best and then work down to her chin, her neck, her chest, her belly, then go around the pussy (yes, even if it’s out and glistening with sploosh), and lick her ass cheeks, her outer thighs, the back of her knees and come back up her inner thighs. When you do finally make contact with her pussy, run your tongue over her petals from side to side without stopping to eat her out. Tease her. Make her wait for it. The more she wants it, needs it, the more she’ll enjoy it. So take your time and tease that pussy!
Now comes the part here you dive right in. I do say dive in because there are times that you could use a wet suit. Other times she will take forever, the sun and moon will switch places in the sky, and you will end up with lockjaw. However, the main point here is that you need to go for it. Don’t just give a half-assed taste and shake your head and stick your dick in her. No. You need to worship that pussy, get intimate with it, know its hopes and dreams. Is it a pussy that had its acting dreams crushed by an asshole father or is it a pussy that is in touch with itself like a yoga guru with each limb? You need to get to know the pussy. I suggest you kiss the pussy. Kiss on top of it, plant a smooch on the bush (if there is any), then French kiss the lips. Think of it this way, you’re woman has two sets of lips to kiss. Give both pairs equal amounts of attention. Whatever you think is the proper amount of attention, put that to the third power, and then (maybe then) will you have kissed those pussy lips enough. Here are some tricks. Find the very bottom of her pussy and place your tongue on it. Make your tongue as wide as possible and move up centimeter by centimeter. Count to a minimum of ten seconds before you move up. The idea is to take a small, delicious forever before reaching the next stop on her petals. You may want to hold her ass cheeks while making your way from the bottom to the top of her pussy. You may want to hold her tits. That’s up to you, but whatever it is — take your time. When you do get to the clit, it’s time to adore it. Play with the clit. Nibble on the clit (use your lips more than teeth if she’s sensitive, which you should assume she is until you find out she’s not). Suck on the clit. Then rub the clit. Use the pad of your fingertips (unless you have callouses — ouch!). Rub the pads of your fingertips on her clit in tight, soft circles. Use the saliva and her wetness to keep it lubed and flying along. Try to barely touch her. The more you touch her invisibly the more you will tease that pussy and remember that teasing is good. After rubbing her with your fingers go back to tonguing her clit. You can start to flick your tongue over the clit, but this may be too much until she’s well into it. Once you’ve got her good and wet and into it (you’ll know my moaning, squirming, and her hands in your hair and on your head), then start to finger insider her pussy while you lick her clit. Finger her deep to her g-spot by hooking your middle finger and using the pad of your fingertip to touch her softly from the inside and hold pressure are her while you stimulate her clit simultaneously. The spot is kind of under her pelvis, so you’re simultaneously putting your finger insider her and up her and back towards yourself. You’re softly hooking her. You’ll know when you’ve found the spot from her reaction and it will feel fucking good on your fingertip (yes, it will!).
At this point she’s kind of making herself cum on you. Your job is just to stay there applying pressure, not too hard, but firm and coax the climax, elicit the orgasm, stir the sex haze until she shouts your name and falls back on the bed like a dead fish. If she’s hyped up, now is a good time to fuck her. She will give you the ride of a lifetime at this point — they always do. Otherwise, just pat yourself on the back (she should be way too spent to do so) and go about your business.
More Sex Tips:
Conversation that started this cunnilingus article out . . .
MJ: well, why don’t you teach me before I teach the world. LOL. At least give the essentials I should include
MJ: Porn is all tongue flick. that aint eating pussy. where’s the creativity?
MJ: What? Why not? You started it. Come on, tell me about eating pussy?
Renata: Ask your wife lol
MJ: Fuck it. How do you like your pussy eaten? Do you like nibbling on the clit? sucking? Are you into tongue slow and long on the petals? LOL, my wife? That’s the last pussy I want to eat! And you know it!
Moctezuma: Actually my wife is pretty orgasmic. She’s not that hard to make cum. Some women leave you with lockjaw.
Moctezuma: Yes, lockjaw! Fuck, just cum already! I had a friend in high school who used to complain that she took too long to cum so I ate her out as a dare, with a clock and all. LOL
Renata: This one time…I sound like an American pie movie. On of my exec got so carried away that I swear my clit was sprained. Hurt to a fortnight! And there go the typos!
Hot Fireman – Requested by Dino-Sore Story that doesn’t yet exist. Our time loop sequencer is busted. My men are on it.
I’m sorry. I’m told I was mistaken. It does exist and, in fact, here’s the link to get yours if you don’t already have it.
Overheard on the Bus in Flint and again in San Francisco (you know just to refresh your memory)
Female Reader 1: Why do I have to read more dino porn?
Female Reader 2: I know, right? Give me Ripped Firemen.
Female Reader 1: Or RIPPED FIREMEN.
Female Reader 2: or ripped firemen!
And these are your Smutpunk Fireman
Read the SMUTPUNK COLLAB featuring Dino-Sore from where this post emanated.
SEX TIP No. 6 – Role Play
I’m the King of Spain and you’re a captured Moor wife thrown into my harem!
Don’t just get on top of each other and pump. Give a little historical context to the thing. Maybe you’re the professor and she’s the slutty student. Maybe she’s the Queen of England and you’re an attendant. Maybe you’re a beast and she’s your weak, defenseless prey. Maybe you’re the priest giving her a naughty, nasty, masturbatory penance. Spice it up by playing some roles. It’s XXXmas time so a naughty girl and good santa or vice versa can work, as well as some elf-punks getting jiggy on the rooftops. You really can’t go wrong with a little roleplay. Something about leaving your own constrictions has enormous, exponential freedom attached to it. I highly recommend you pretend to be me and have the time of your life. Oh yeah. Have yourself a SMUTPUNK spree. Read the books and apply reenactments liberally.
Next Tip: I have no idea (see previous)
Previous Sex Tip: Homemade Porn – Sex Tip No. 5 – Camera Placement for Home Porn
Roleplay / Cosplay Image Gallery featuring smoking hot chicks:
See More of the Cosplay Gallery
Sex Tip #5
Homemade Porn Secrets Revealed
CAMERA PLACEMENT: HOW TO MAKE A PORN VIDEO
Skullfucking | Jizzing on tits/face | Slapping Sluts with Cock | Gaping
- first get yourself a slut, pig, or slave
- then you must think about camera placement
- film her from many angles for short periods of time
- use short clips about 20 to 30 seconds at a time (no more than a minute)
- Use the iPhone’s iMovie trailer to organize your homemade porn into an awesome personal porn opus (no, seriously, this is a fucking great idea!)
- Before starting your own home porn movie, have her model a bit
- her with clothes answering questions
- first time on video?
- like cum?
- like blowing dudes?
- like big cock?
- are you going to suck my big cock?
- will you give me your ass today?
- are you a slut? pig? slave? ugly whore?
- do you have a boyfriend?
- her with clothes answering questions
- For shooting a homemade porn blowjob there are a few positions.
- the knees (guy standing):
- You can shoot up to down on the tripod.
- Or you can go down to up.
- You can shoot from the side, most common,
- or through the guy’s legs—which features the girl’s tits.
- shoot for the side but down to up
- and shoot from far away
- she can hold it up to down, side to side, down to up
- the knees (guy standing):
- the knees (guy sitting)
- straddling her
- remember to…
- gag her
- make her bob up and down fast
- skullfuck her
- put cock into her cheek
- slap her face
- jizz on her face
- For shots of straight sex in your homemade porn, there are also a few ideas.
- first person view
- from the side
- from behind her, she must hold the camera
- her doggy style
- shoot down to up from behind
- shoot from in front while fish-hooking her
- shoot from far away, side or ¾
- first person, yank her hair
- remember to…
- fishhook her
- yank her hair
- step on her head
- pour lube on her ass while doing her and then
- switch to from cunt to ass
- slap her ass cheeks
- first person, tits and face
- facing the couch to shoot your ass
- spread it open with hands
- fuck her ass
- her on her side
- camera over her
- camera facing her head and tits
- camera facing her ass
- her pretzeled
- placed over her shooting down from somewhat of a distance
- her facing cock and camera
- camera high and side,
- film all the cum on her after you finish
- make her suck more after
- have her hold the camera facing the cock and face
- get up close to see the cumshot
check to make sure you complete these:
- Make her blow you for a while.
- Slap her with your cock
- make her smile while you slap her with cock even though she won’t really like it
- Make her bend over so you can shoot that asshole
- Have her say she’s
- a slut
- a slave
- a whore
- a pig
- if she complains, gag her with a bandana
- Fuck her fat ass with the camera low and behind
- Pour yogurt on her and make her blow you
- piss on her
- bind her hands
- cut her clothes
This is just an intro
There are tons of other ideas. These are just the basics, but they are a good start for porn amateurs. The key is to shoot lots of short scenes. Then get on iMovie (I recommend as a trailer) and paste these scenes in and you’ll get quite a high-octane little highlight show to give you hours of jerking and jilling pleasure. Enjoy! Remember to send me your creations. Don’t worry, it’s just art. So I won’t tell anybody.
Previous Tip: Angry Sex
Next Tip: Roleplay
Wait, what’s in the bag? Is it makeup? Is it a book? Is it a butt plug? Read the Sex Manual by Moctezuma Johnson and find out. This non-fiction manual is loaded with useful advice, tons of metaphors, and a lot of over-the-top humor, the kind you’ve come to expect from Moctezuma Johnson. It is written in two sections, one for men and one for women, so it has everybody covered. Learn how to give better head, dress better, and how to convince your partner of a wide range of naughty, no, fuck that we aren’t on facecunt, downright motherfucking nasty shit like ass to mouth and facefucking in public.
The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom
Read the Sex Manual right now
The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom
Why are you rubbing two sticks together in the bedroom? Get a flamethrower!
Ever wished your partner came with a small pamphlet on how to operate correctly? Well, now you have it. Moctezuma spent nearly a decade running a bar, writing erotica, and blogging. He gathered a lot of information. So you want to have mind-blowing sex but all you know is what your priest and Cosmo told you? You poor thing. Well, fret no more. Let Moctezuma Johnson share his research in this in-depth, self-help book. He has found out what’s plaguing most bedroom partners. It’s simply intimidation and insecurity. So many fans have asked him how to be better, sexier, and more experienced. Moctezuma speaks openly and honestly offering a series of very practical solutions for men and women. This non-fiction, how-to book is told with humor (a necessity for the bedroom) and compassion.
Whether male or female or transgender, The Sex Manual is the book you wish came with every person you’ve dated. Well, wish no more. It’s out, so add it to your kindle. Just the fact that you’re reading this description is proof that you’re ready to improve and you’re almost halfway there. This book will take you the rest of the way. It’s filled with ideas, game plans, tips, and list of clothing, toys, and poems to spice up your sex life.
Weekly Sex Tip #4
Each person is different, this is rule number one. So you have to get to know each partner. Some partners need gentle touches, others want rough angry sex. Here’s the key to my angry sex tip. What makes angry sex so hot? Passion.
If you’re having angry sex with someone you’re with somebody who knows how to push your buttons. That person is probably somebody who you’ve known for a while. Perhaps a spouse or a long term partner. Once in a while it’s a loathsome freak you’ve picked up and plan to hate fuck right from the beginning (no judgments, I’ve been there!). Now the disgust, anger, and hate have the adrenaline pumping and have you feeling alive! This is passion. Passion is the main ingredient in angry sex. It’s what takes the boring out of this rough romp in the hay. Funnel all the nasty feelings you have into your sex drive and voila! Men will have raging hard-ons and women will be as sensitive as a hairless kitty.
Now go for it. This is the time for rough facefucking, for thrusting dick into cunt like he’s a jackhammer trying to rip up the tarmac. Fuck one orgasm, let’s build a goddamn Egyptian pyramid. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. This is no time to be civil, get that nose in her cunt, dudes. Floss with her bush. Lick that asshole, ladies. Gag on his dick! This is Angry Sex, Hate Fucking for Lovers, Make-Up Sex, Break Up Sex, I Hate Your Guts Sex. Whatever you want, take it. You’re a beast! You’re an animal. You’re nothing but cock. You’re whole body is cunt.
Tired of him running his mouth? Grab him by the hair and sit on his face. Rub your cunt lips over him until he shuts the fuck up and pleasures you. Guys, bored of her whining? Fuck her so hard and deep that those whines turn to screams and her nails draw blood as she cums repeatedly.
Oh your partner is a darling, you say? No way to rile him or her up? Well, here’s an angry sex tip newsflash.
Well, fuck that. Pick a fight. Steal his dinner. Lock her out. Forget to pick her up. Bring the neighbor’s panties into the apartment by accident from the laundry room. Yell at your partner in public (that might lead not only to hate sex, but to public sex, throw in a voyeur or two and you have the trifecta).
Next sex tip: How to Make Homemade Porn
Previous Sex Tip: Properly Warming Up An Ass
When drunk at the bar, when chatting with a fan, when lying in bed with the wife the question seems to always come up: How to Give Good Head
Many women have professed to me their amazing skills at sucking dick. When I ask why they think they are sucking superstars, I hear answers like “I’ve never heard any complaints” or something to that effect. That is hardly roaring support from a man who has put his most sensitive appendage into your toothy mouth, ladies. Kid yourself no more!
Men know the truth: less than 2% of women can really suck a dick like a pro. Chances are the girl with whom you’re speaking is a shit cocksucker. And the scary part is she doesn’t even know it. Wipe your ass with what Cosmo has been telling you!
Here are some tips for women to learn to suck dick well, from a guys perspective. Women, print them out and post them on the refrigerator. Men, print them out and post them to your belly so she can get a good look at the right time.
How to Give Good Head Sex Tips:
- Kneel – position is key, for role understanding, for ease and depth of cock-taking, and for the visual pleasure of the dude. It’s not the only great position, but it’s the starting point. Kneel down, it tells him your willing to put in the effort needed to suck a dick right.
- Make eye contact – make him feel like you’re there to pleasure him, like you aim to please and serve. Smiling is not necessary but it won’t hurt.
- Lick the balls and the shaft – this will make him feel like you want to do a good job, like you desire all of him.
- Take it into your mouth and swirl the tongue around it – have a little fun with his cock. Imagine you are French kissing him, but not on his mouth, on his beautiful dick.
- Make sure you go until his balls are against your lips – you have to go all the way down if you want to really do a great job (you can learn more on how to do this below but in more depth–lol–on many other great sites. I’m just telling that this is where the money’s at, in deepthroat.
- Relax your throat – Let his cock into your mouth. Breath around it and through your nose. When you feel like your choking let it out and take a deep breath in. When the tip reaches the back of your throat, swallow.
- Lay on the bed (or couch) and let your head hang off – this position allows him to really get deep down your throat! Let him fuck your throat! Let him take control! This is the hottest part and probably when he’ll cum
- Depth is everything – If you swallow his whole cock, he will be obsessed with your mouth and even the rest of you.
Those are the basics, and basically women don’t possess this list. There is a lot of messing around with the head, scratching it with your teeth, sucking it like you’re vacuuming, peehole licking, and other nonsense that really doesn’t feel very good.
Feel free to post comments and ideas below. Thanks.