(aka Sarchasmo, aka Moctezuma Johnson, aka King Smutpunk, aka Kid S.Punk)
Cockslappicus is a character in the Pantheon of Smutpunk Superheroes started by Callie Press and Moctezuma Johnson. This character was created by Moctezuma Johnson and is often chasing down criminals (aka criminally bad practices in the indie publishing world). He’s kind of a purveyor of justice. He supports the invisible, the outcasts, the different, those with no voice. He metes out justice on his foes by slapping the shit out of them with his massive weaponized cock. There are stories of him attacking copycatters (Sarchasmo v. Apographia) and serial users (the eEquivalent of a director telling a hot young piece of ass he wants to shag “i’m gonna make you a star, baby! right after you suck me off).
Books featuring Cockslappicus:
Organic Matter and Cumshots!
So there’s this idea about Panspermia. You know, you probably got glassy-eyed in high-school when they explained this to you, but it’s actually pretty fucking cool. The idea is that the universe shoots these pods around from galaxy to galaxy spewing organic matter like a sparkler on the Fourth of July shoots sparks. Some of these little pieces landed in hospitable places. Like a cumshot landing in a fertile pussy, organic matter took root and started to grow. Voila! Life.
One night, when I was wandering the pyramids of Palenque in the Mexican state of Chiapas, I was blessed with some hallucinogenics. While I was melting into a tree and a snake, Quetzalcoatl came to me and told me I had a purpose. It was imperative, that was the exact word he used although he spoke via ESP, that I share panspermia with the world. This was years ago, and for the first few years I fucked every woman I could and shared my sperm with her. However, it occurred to me little by little that that was not was Quetzalcoatl had in mind. No. The great feathered serpent, God to many pre-Hispanic cultures, wanted me to share the History of the Universe with the masses, especially the gringos.
Thus, SMUTPUNK was born.
Futanari Harley Quinn Poem
for all the futa fans of batman
she has a two-toned gun
the slick-skinned slut criminal
she’ll use the fucking thing
she’s got the jester’s PVC cap
the bells ring
red and black
as her clit
her nipples bulge
on her big
her dick rings
as her bell
mushroom-like and juicy
its cum tube
the cat woman’s mask
and matching black lipstick
as her red hair billows in Gotham’s wind
Find more Posts about Superheroes
^8^ Share if you enjoyed ^8^
for Nia Farrell and Mystk Knight
Oh how I wanted to humiliate Mystk
she’s just so nice and sweet
Oh how I wanted to bend her over
paddle her ass as my treat
but Nia won the humiliation
and Mystk won the contemplation
so I have to—Ugh!—be nice
One is there, down on her knees
looking up with a ball gag in her mouth
Two is here, up on the swing
looking down toothy smile on her face
yes, both are in the same position
but one is in a poem and the other a humiliation
no, both aren’t in the same position
one will get her ass paddled and the other will soar
wait, i hope you shook your head like you should
at that lame image
one will soar and the other get sore
oh no, puns too!
perhaps there aren’t two ladies
on knees and swings
perhaps both are writers
committed to their crafts
into lush white clouds
like whipped cream
into deep blue sky
like swelling ocean
into deep synaptic canals
like rising hormones
like sweet serotonin
like love of love itself
struck hard with
the deep malaise of hypoglycemia
the pallor of Mediterranean anemia
Rejoice! The Eagle is up
You Aztec! You Mayab! You Lenape!
You Bohemian! You Chameleon! You!
Rejoice! The Jaguar is up
You Olmec! You Tzeltal! You Zapotec!
You Deviant! You Comedian! You!
The Eagle is the Warrior of the Sun
The Jaguar is the Warrior of the Night
Both equally powerful, like eum and yang
the contrary forces held in a cosmic dance
wielded daftly by the attuned magician,
the wordsmith, the universal stream manifestor,
the beacon harnessing a band of energy.
I guess I’ll just have to wait to humiliate someone with a poem. This one was written as a prize to Nia and Mystk who came in fourth and fifth in the MJ69 Raffle. It was meant to be first about humiliation, then something uplifting, but I failed miserably and writing what I intended and ended up scribbling this thing about balance, I think. I’m not really sure. You decide.
Note: Eum and Yang are the Korean words for yinyang.
Thanks to Naya Free, I have given a lot of thought to brand imaging and I know what I would like my brand to look like: panties pulled down.
Below I will give you a couple of examples of what I mean. When you see such images, please think Moctezuma Johnson.
There is just something so sexy when a woman I am about to have sex with pulls her panties down and reveals her honey pot. I just love pulling them down, love watching her pull them down, love seeing someone else pull them off. It’s always a thrill every single time.
There has been a significant rise in the number of LPRTG Newsletter followers. Thank you to all the new recruits.
For those of you considering joining, consider this:
The other awesome success has been the rise in people buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for our books while the author gets the entire profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you.
Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade
Of course, the nude new news for MJ fans is that he’s crawled out from under a rock to pen the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade and is about to drop a How To book that will blow your fucking minds. It’s kind of my version of Callie Press’s How To Give Good Head. As you know, women kind of suck at giving head except for a few blesséd souls.
This one is about you. And, hot damn, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. What? Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.
Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!
Do you hear that? Right in the peripheral of your brain. Yes that. Like audio ghosts. What the…? What is that? Is that what I think it is, baby? Callie? Emme? Genevieve? Mama? Is that the funk? The Flashlight? the Mothership? How’s your Funk? la da da di da da da da da da da. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam!
How’s your Funk-Entelechy? Me? Well, I’m known as lollipop man, aka the long-haired sucker, so not to0 funkin’ bad. Why are there stars in your eyes? All the better to funk you with.
Bernie Worrell, Dr. Woo, RIP, my funk brotha!
I was lucky enough to see Dr. Woo play over thirty times at various locations from small supper clubs to big concert halls. I was also given the amazing moment of meeting the band and chatting with them for hours, which I’ll obviously never forget. This man truly changed my life. Y’all may not know, some of you do, that I moonlight as a funk brother playing drums, keyboard, guitar, and bass depending on the funk. In fact, I didn’t have eyes on writing at all when I was younger. I was music all the way. If you’d like to know the truth, ask away. Until then, i’ll leave it shrouded in mystery. Listen to one of the greatest keyboard players to ever touch the planet Earth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tL8shj6yx0 – Very cool jam with even the audience involved
Anything else to report these days? If so, let me know.
Ooh Ooh, nerdy girl editing by Jenn, the ex-Disney star. Try her out. She did the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapades. She’s a genius. Any mistakes are mine, not hers. I’m the one who can’t edit worth shit. Click the link and see what she offers. Mention my name when you do.
And the last thing is there are a lot of new poems on this site by both me and my new super-crush Genevieve Greene.
A parting tweet to enjoy:
Princess Chuckhole v. Butterface | Clash of the #Cthulhu | #SSRTG #LPRTG #MRBRTG https://t.co/vKWicaAylU pic.twitter.com/R8GPTfcmfV
— Erotic Author RTG (@EroticAuthorRTG) January 16, 2016