Book Giveaway: Haven’t you always wanted a Jaguar Prince?

book-giveaway

Book Giveaway: Haven’t you always wanted a Jaguar Prince?

Hosted by Moctezuma Johnson 

Yay, you’re getting a free book. Just click the link BBW v. The Jaguar Prince.

All I’d like you to do in exchange for a free book is send out one cute little tweet. Follow the link above and the simple instructions are on the Amazon giveaway page. Thank you for spreading the smutpunk.
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Book Synopsis: The Jaguar Prince is the latest BBW story featuring a Mexican nagua who changes from a handsome man into a jaguar. See if he’s friend or foe of the down-on-her-luck BBW main character. 

BBW-jaguar-prince

Dildogeddon – Learn how to protect yourself

dildogeddon

Dildogeddon — What the heck is that?

Well, you’ve probably heard of the pornapocalypse, the desire of almost all medias to rid themselves of vile adult content. Even twitter is on the anti-porn train recently. Ugh. Why? What’s with puritan America trying to tell all of us what to do. I don’t like it at all. Not one little bit.

Now, dildogeddon is the attack of earth by alien forces. These aliens aren’t the regular aliens with big green heads who violate lonely humans on motherships, nope, these are sentient alien dildos that reproduce when united with Earthling cum. It’s a funny, schlocky B-movie, campy book by Moctezuma Johnson. It’s also a metaphor for how all this conservatism from American evangelicals to Islamic Fundamentalists is just totally bat-shit fucking crazy.

Read the Triangulum Stain Series for more.

Dildogeddon – Attack of the Replicating Alien Dildos

The Five HiveThe Battle for Alien Relish

The Romance on Roller-Skates Series by Emme Hor @horbooks #MrBrtg #LPRTG

Love Office Chicks in Compromising Positions? Of course you do! Try more with Emme Hor’s Romance on Rollerskates Series

47_vibrator_orgasm

 

ROMANCE with SKULL CANDY and BRAND NEW SKATES

ROMANCE on ROLLER-SKATES

SMUTPUNK on SKATES

THROWING ROLLER-SKATES IN THE TRASH CHUTE 

 

SMUTPUNK Kimchi Squat

Malaysian Big Tit Sexy Roller Skate Erotica by Emme Hor, the Asian SMUTPUNKist

KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA — 19 MAY 2016 — Insiders are calling this series the Butt Plug Blues (title totally leaked by Moctezuma Johnson, retired smutpunk author) and singing it’s silly, sexy, smutpunkie praises. In each episode an Alpha Male leads Heather to end up with a butt plug up her ass. Somehow she’s always in micro-mini skirts or tight yoga pants and roller-skates. Can this Asian chick be any sexier? Well, the Alpha Male known as ‘That Fucker’ seems to think she can because he’s got a bevy of other girls’ anus’ butt plugs on display in his office on THE BUTT PLUG MANTLE. This cruel alpha, Heather’s boyfriend when the story starts, is out of control. HE’s so bad that Heather’s MILF mother Lana has to step in and help.

It all leads to a massive CLIMAX featuring BUTT PLUGS, ROLLER-SKATES, SKULL CANDY and much much much much smutpunkedly much MORE.

Dump the Futa President

Literary Porn Smutpunk

Been messing around with Instagram and with xvideos and pornhub. Have a look at this vid about a Gay Mexican Alien who falls in love with presidential hopeful T. Ronald Dump.

Keep in mind Dump is the Futa President and they will Dump the Futa president. Both meanings are cool in this smutpunk romp.

Give it a read here and Latino Futa Presidential Smutpunk!

Excerpt from Episode One of the Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired Series

Excerpt from The Hotel Party (Formerly the BOO-Kahki Pants Party~)

Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired Series (20,000+ words of Psycho-Thriller Sexpot Smutpunk)

 

Now Jynx wasn’t supporting my new business venture of opening a bar and had stabbed me when I was caught cheating with another big-tittied Korean whore. I had left the door open and fell asleep, drunk from Soju, head on Grace’s very pink nipples that still had my cum caked on, with more on her chin. I heard the door and jumped up but it was too late. Jynx had a knife. She was already mad because before going to dinner with Grace I’d tied her to the table and taken her throat forcefully. Now she had the knife and the power. Last night after she nagged me to death, I bent her over and fucked her menstruating pussy before moving to her mouth and violating her throat. She cried and I left to have dinner with Grace. We got drunk. Her tits grew like Zeppelins as I got drunker. She often cocked her head to the side like a little bird. Her hair ran down over her bimbo juggs. As Jynx wielded the knife, Grace ran out in just a towel. All smooth skin and cleavage. Jynx got behind me and the stainless steel went in beside my spine. Grace screamed. The towel dropped.

JynxCrazed2

Click the KNIFE to READ MORE cum-filled psycho-thriller

“You fucking stabbed me!” I noticed Grace’s tits were fucking marvelous.

“You fucking deserve worse!” Jynx snarled. Smoke came out of her nose like a dragon. She threw Grace’s clothes out onto the street from my third floor apartment and then sat on the couch staring into space. I threw her on her back and yanked her shirt up over her head—she also had gorgeous tits.

She pulled me up, kissed me deep, and said, “Fuck me like you fucked that whore!” I slapped her tits and stabbed my cock into her cunt recklessly.

Grace stared at us with her mouth agape. She said, “You’re both crazy dog fuckers!”

I put Jynx on top of me. Her big tits hung down. “Her tits were bigger, you saw them,” I said, and then chewed on Jynx’s small, demure nipples. I grabbed the fat part of her ass cheek right by her cunt and used a handful of it to make her go up and down on my cock hard and fast while I squeezed her neck and pushed her down. “Head down, ass up, cunt! Like Grace.”

Jynx squeezed me. Her cunt was soaking wet. “Did that whore cum like this?”

I felt her cunt lips flinch and the clench around my cock. She held me tight. Her claws had sunk into me.

I fell asleep after cumming in her cunt. I woke up in a pool of blood. “I think I need stitches.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

I went outside, got in a taxi, and went to the hospital. I got twenty-three stitches on the inside of the stab wound and another thirteen on the outer skin to sew it back up.

(to keep reading click the knife above)

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Read More MJ Smutpunk

UFO Chronicler Clipping | Excerpt from Triangulum Stain 2 |

ufo-chronicler-sightings

This UFO Chronicler Excerpt is a clipping from the beginning of the book Triangulum Stain 2 – Alien Relish. It sets the stage for what the book is going to be. TriStain 1 had lots of print outs from an old diode computer set up in the bowels of the Secret Government Facility known as Cunter Labs. TriStain 2 has a few clippings because it has to cover billions of years. Let me include a clipping or two to make it happen. It’s the story of creation and extinction told from the sexual perspective. Enough blab, let’s get to the story…

Clipping from the UFO Chronicler (THE UFOCHRO – /yoo-FOW-krow/)

by Dean Dibblewitz (more about him later)

On the Alien Planet M69, circa 3,717,879,873 light years before (give our take a few million years)

The planet was like the surface of the moon, all craggly and nooks and crannies. They say the moon was once filled with a yogurt and Planet M69 in the Pinwheel Formation was definitely one of those types with some kind of viscous white and clear cream running through the tunnels, formations, and falls. Imagine a cum river, a cum waterfall, a cum lake. That’s what you have. There were no humans on M69, aka Alien Relish, all the life forms were in this liquid, oozing from craters, hissing down cumfalls, cascading down ravines. It was a bizarre site and one that Doc Rock and company had been studying. It was, of course, free of humans but certainly not free of life. It was life. It was life incarnate. The spring.

The cummy planet was a DNA garden. It was the source from which life spurted. Scientists and Philosophers on Earth complained that English had no good work for this concept, the idea of going from nothing to something. Creation. Spring. Spew. Spurt. Jizz. Splooge. Start. Call it what you may it was the essential element in the universe, the moment when nothing becomes something. Some think the world is death filled by life. Some think the world is life interrupted by death. Either which way, there were two states: alive and dead. The movement between them emerged from this Alien Relish. The relish was programmed to procreate. It flew through the universe, what the scientists call panspermia. The whole mantra is to procreate. It hopped rides on comets, stuck to rings of planets, kissed little particles of ice, got sucked into black holes, and in this case jumped inside the cockpit of the Martian Mindwalker, the latest capsule sent from Earth to discover if there was life on Mars. Somehow the Martian Mindwalker wandered way off course into the Pinwheel Formation and the spores of M69, the Alien Relish itself, had hijacked a ride to Earth. Nobody who knew knew.

This chemical agent from M69 hitching a ride to Earth led to a massive sentient Alien Dildo Invasion that was secretly thwarted by a secret group of women tasked with protecting life here on Earth. They are spooks. If you say their name you will disappear. If you look at them in the shadows they will vanish. If you see one on the television your memory will be erased. If you read about them in a book you will orgasm and forget they ever existed. BUT THEY ARE HERE, among us. THEY ARE THE FUCK FORCE FIVE.

And I will uncover them for you.

But what I have uncovered is terrible news. Our pleasure center is drying up. The pools of sexual desire are far from infinite. They are almost all gone.

One last thing, and perhaps the scariest. Until Replicating Dildo Day (RDD – See TriStain1 if you need more info), there was a word in our minds that we knew for the concept I mentioned above. The word was the verb that meant to become something from nothing. Something like to jizz, to spring, to become, but the exact right word. That word was removed from our minds at the same time that the cummy planet and all that lifeforce dried up.

###

FUN FACT:

The UFO Chronicler (aka U-Fo-Krow) was a little independent paper. They tracked Alien Life on Earth and abroad. They stumbled on quite a few facts and Dean Dibblewitz was their lead investigative journalist. He was wildly unknown but extremely famous. He monitored those who monitored others and was thus monitored himself. He was that little tingle in the back of your neck that lets you know something is out there. He was deja vu.

The Fuck Force Five was located in the Brooklyn Armory. They were underground in an office that was decorated with the old streamlined white furniture of the air terminal at JFK circa 1960.*

 

Character Bio:

Dean DibblewitzAka DD – Alien. Writer at UFO Chronicler. Photographic memory specialized in human history, immortal. If he doesn’t dibble himself, he forgets his entire memory. The moment he gets fucked and ejaculates the whole of human history rushes back to him. This can be very useful. This can also lead to a quick fuck necessary at the most inopportune moments. DD used a poster of Tabitha from Fuck Force Five (secret identity: Destiny Girl) hung on his ceiling to help him manage his memory. Why was Tabitha on a poster? Cause her secret identity was Destiny’s Girl from the mega-platinum super-band Destiny’s Pussydolls.

PRE-ORDER Triangulum Stain 2 for FREE – Only a few days left!

Enuff!

^.^

*one reader pointed out that JFK wasn’t called that until 1963, which is true. Before that we called it Idlewild but it was really called New York International Some Shit. It looked something like this:

Idlewild Airport

Bored to Tears with My Asian Husband is FREE || LAST DAY! || #EARTG #Erotica #IARTG

Gorgeous Yoga Pose

Today is the last day to get a free copy of my book of short stories. Each story features a hot Asian wife.

Stories include…
…a wife who finds nirvana in her Yoga Guru.

…a married BBW who feels appreciated for the first time when a sexy African dude dances close to her in a club. Her husband sees how things unfold and instead of leading to divorce, it invigorates their relationship, but not without a price.

yogapantssexy

Why men do yoga and why women love their yoga pants

…a bootybuilding gym rat who can’t take the stares of the only foreigner in this Korean gym and lays herself down on a bench to pleasure herself, until she’s outed.

…a story of an Eastern European babe married to an Asian dude who is so bored that she lets two very sketchy dudes, one white and one black, take her into an abandoned alley. What unfolds you could never predict. Never.

…and a tale entitled Mad for Jizz about a date gone awry in front of some voyeuristic tourists.

There are 69, err six to nine tales. One tale of mile high nirvana features three quasi-related stories. This one is an autobiography dressed in the sweet candy-flipped-wrapper of fiction. Want to understand more about me? Punch your ticket and download this book for free. Quick, it’s the last day!

geni.us/AsianWife #Cuckold #BigCock

Hottest Asian Wife Erotica

Bored to Tears by #CyberMonday | #EARTG #Erotica #LPRTG | DOWNLOAD FREE BOOK

Mad for Jizz

Get a free copy of my book of short stories. Each story features a hot Asian wife.

Stories include…

…a wife who finds nirvana in her Yoga Guru.

…a married BBW who feels appreciated for the first time when a sexy African dude dances close to her in a club. Her husband sees how things unfold and instead of leading to divorce, it invigorates their relationship, but not without a price.

yogapantssexy

…a bootybuilding gym rat who can’t take the stares of the only foreigner in this Korean gym and lays herself down on a bench to pleasure herself, until she’s outed.

…a story of an Eastern European babe married to an Asian dude who is so bored that she lets two very sketchy dudes, one white and one black, take her into an abandoned alley. What unfolds you could never predict. Never.

…and a tale entitled Mad for Jizz about a date gone awry in front of some voyeuristic tourists.

There are 69, err six to nine tales. One tale of mile high nirvana features three quasi-related stories. This one is an autobiography dressed in the sweet candy-flipped-wrapper of fiction. Want to understand more about me? Punch your ticket and download this book for free. Quick, it’s only free until 12/2!

Hottest Asian Wife Erotica – Mouse-Over for the link to all amazon stores

^.^