Independent Body Asserts
Electoral College More Dangerous
To Democracy than Russian Hacking
Washington D.C. 2016 — Republicans are grappling with the fact that their surprise victory giving them full control of the Unpresidented States of America was due in large part due to their new Lord and Master Vladimir Putin. However, those headlines have quickly been eclipsed by a more startling and sinister plot: the Electoral College. In a corresponding move by an independent committee, the CIA, the FBI, and the DMV, it has been concluded beyond reasonable doubt (even to those nutbags crazy enough to deny climate change) that the Electoral College in fact is 100% incongruous with democracy as it allows government leaders to ignore the will of the people as seen by the candidate winning the popular vote not becoming president and the Electoral Delegates of Arizona voting vowing to vote for Trump amid mass outcry not to “be so crazy.” The independent council found that, in fact, the Electoral College helps only rich, white, male
slave-owning land owners control the masses.
Also, progressive lawmakers in New York State have already dumped the “Electoral College” in favor of a name more appropriate to the education level of the masses: The Electoral G.E.D. When Mayor of NYC Bill DeBlingBlingio was asked why he said eloquently, “We want each citizen to feel include no matter how illiterate, confused, tired, ass-backwards, or Mexican.” The President-elects Trump was also posed the same question to which he said articulately while pointing his tiny fingers, “Journalist are scum. My G.E.D. accomplished unpresidented yugeness! I’m precedent of the World.”
by Moctezuma Johnson