Thank you for supporting me and my brand of SMUTPUNK. You’ve probably heard that I have crawled out from under a rock to pen a Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade. I’m looking to gather reviews for this book since, it seems, that reviews really do help the Zon feature a book more prominently. If you’ve read it, please leave a review. Any short review will suffice; even “It wasn’t bad” or “I really liked it” will be enough. If you want to go into more depth, that’s awesome. I’m told that the more reviews the better, so please help. Thanks so much. Let me know if you would like a free review copy of the Choose Your Own Kink or any other book. If you have KU you can read Choose Your Own Kink free.
ps: I bare my soul to you, so I thought the GIF was appropriate!
Thinking of Paige while facefucking Liz
i thought of my new
bartender, her sultry
hot ass, big tits
while Liz got face fucked
“suck it, Paige!”
“Paige?” she asked
Who doesn’t like an anal cream pie?
I mean, seriously. You fuck your girl, sitting on the edge of the bed, she is reverse cowgirl and your cock obliterates her asshole, stretching her open like a grocery bag stuffed with boxes of tissues. She grunts as you fuck her ass. She pushes her ass all the way back at first but then goes down less and less. The more you sodomize her the more you realize your cock’s not going as deep in anymore. You pull it out. Your turn her around. You look at your cock and then her. She shakes her head. Your grab her by the hair and push her down. You make her gag on it. This gets her spit all over the head, the shaft, the root, the balls. Her face betrays that she’s disgusted that she has become the type who will eat ass off of cock. You bask in the debasement of your whore. You turn her back around and pummel her asshole. It now slips all the way in until your balls bang her cunt-lips. You are fully devouring her now de-flowered ass. She is yours forever.
You fully unload every last drop of your cum into her ass. You empty your balls up her waiting, pimped-out asshole.
You watch her push the cum out.
There has been a significant rise in the number of LPRTG Newsletter followers. Thank you to all the new recruits.
For those of you considering joining, consider this:
The other awesome success has been the rise in people buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for our books while the author gets the entire profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you.
Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade
Of course, the nude new news for MJ fans is that he’s crawled out from under a rock to pen the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade and is about to drop a How To book that will blow your fucking minds. It’s kind of my version of Callie Press’s How To Give Good Head. As you know, women kind of suck at giving head except for a few blesséd souls.
This one is about you. And, hot damn, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. What? Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.
Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!
Do you hear that? Right in the peripheral of your brain. Yes that. Like audio ghosts. What the…? What is that? Is that what I think it is, baby? Callie? Emme? Genevieve? Mama? Is that the funk? The Flashlight? the Mothership? How’s your Funk? la da da di da da da da da da da. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam!
How’s your Funk-Entelechy? Me? Well, I’m known as lollipop man, aka the long-haired sucker, so not to0 funkin’ bad. Why are there stars in your eyes? All the better to funk you with.
Bernie Worrell, Dr. Woo, RIP, my funk brotha!
I was lucky enough to see Dr. Woo play over thirty times at various locations from small supper clubs to big concert halls. I was also given the amazing moment of meeting the band and chatting with them for hours, which I’ll obviously never forget. This man truly changed my life. Y’all may not know, some of you do, that I moonlight as a funk brother playing drums, keyboard, guitar, and bass depending on the funk. In fact, I didn’t have eyes on writing at all when I was younger. I was music all the way. If you’d like to know the truth, ask away. Until then, i’ll leave it shrouded in mystery. Listen to one of the greatest keyboard players to ever touch the planet Earth.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tL8shj6yx0 – Very cool jam with even the audience involved
Anything else to report these days? If so, let me know.
Ooh Ooh, nerdy girl editing by Jenn, the ex-Disney star. Try her out. She did the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapades. She’s a genius. Any mistakes are mine, not hers. I’m the one who can’t edit worth shit. Click the link and see what she offers. Mention my name when you do.
And the last thing is there are a lot of new poems on this site by both me and my new super-crush Genevieve Greene.
A parting tweet to enjoy:
Princess Chuckhole v. Butterface | Clash of the #Cthulhu | #SSRTG #LPRTG #MRBRTG https://t.co/vKWicaAylU pic.twitter.com/R8GPTfcmfV
— Erotic Author RTG (@EroticAuthorRTG) January 16, 2016
i did her in the car
in the parking lot
in the basement
of the tower i live in
in the shadows
in a remote parking space
under the supermarket
in the shadows
i did her in the car
first she blew me
from the passenger side
leaning over by the steering wheel
then she blew me out
i stood next to the car
pumped her mouth
then she got in
that delicious slut
her ass alone
hanging out the window
it was surreal to see ass
hanging out the window of my car
supple porcelain ass
i photographed it hanging
like a dog desperate for some air
i did her hard, drilling
my monster cock into her hole
until she shook and called out my name
we’ve never met before
but choose a waffle house
as our rendezvous
cause coffee and hash browns
she waits standing with her ass
against a table
she works there
she’s the manager, closing
i came in the door she’s left unlocked
as soon as I see her
i throw her down
as soon as i see her
her panties are off
at her ankles
with her jean shorts
her shoulders are pinned
her legs are up
over my shoulders
both her hands are under her ass
offering her cunt to me
but i spit on it
instead spike cock up her ass
the lights are on and anyone driving by can see
the sexy glasses wearing manager
getting fucked with laminated menus
sticking to her sweaty naked back
with her tank top up and her titties shaking
nipples jiggling on top like a cherry on gelatin
she’s grunting and moaning
holding her ass up for my pleasures
I reach down and take her aface and say,
“You’re a delicious whore,”
and slap her hard across the face
her asshole clenches and coaxes out my cum
right up her asshole
her nipples bloom
a moan slips out from her gorgeous mouth
I pull my cock and before the cum leaks out
I tap her ass with a buttplug
“Hold my cum inside you,” I say.
Then I lower my face to her bald cunt
and lick her clit
Her knees close on me
her pussy is my late night waffle snack
I leave my tongue flat against it
I don’t move it
she kind of grinds her clit against my immobile tongue
while I reach up and grab her tits
I rub them then pull the nipples
then reach for the tabasco and steak sauce
I dump both on her clit and go back to licking
getting that sour steak sauce to tame her cunt
getting that spicy tabasco to enrage her cunt
she moans and her hips quake
she grabs my head and pushed me so hard
i swim in her cuntlips and my nose is against her clit
before i regain my bearings and let her rub her clit to orgasm
shaking, shrieking, waffle house orgasm
right there on the table
her body flails like a fish out of water
until her hands drop her own ass
down to the table with a thud
i crash into the booth
pants still down
she rolls over and lowers her mouth onto my cock.