Review Request | #LPRTG #EARTG #MrBrtg

Please leave a review for smutpunk writer Moctezuma Johnson

Thank you for supporting me and my brand of SMUTPUNK. You’ve probably heard that I have crawled tumblr_nq21wlyv2r1tqtfrjo1_1280out from under a rock to pen a Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade. I’m looking to gather reviews for this book since, it seems, that reviews really do help the Zon feature a book more prominently. If you’ve read it, please leave a review. Any short review will suffice; even “It wasn’t bad” or “I really liked it” will be enough. If you want to go into more depth, that’s awesome. I’m told that the more reviews the better, so please help. Thanks so much. Let me know if you would like a free review copy of the Choose Your Own Kink or any other book. If you have KU you can read Choose Your Own Kink free.




ps: I bare my soul to you, so I thought the GIF was appropriate!

Poem: Thinking of Paige while facefucking Liz || #LPRTG #EARTG

Thinking of Paige while facefucking Liz

i pulled her hair
her whore mouth
while half-asleep

i thought of my new
bartender, her sultry
hot ass, big tits
big lips

while Liz got face fucked

Liz stopped

lifted up off her knees
pulled her shorts and underwear down
i shoved her back down
to her knees
to my cock
“suck it, Paige!”
“Paige?” she asked
before mphhhhhhhhhhhing
over big cock
“she’s my new, hot bartender.”
“my sister!?”
i unloaded a big creamy load
that she snarfed
shooting jizz out her mouth
around my cock
with some even dripping out her nose
“yes, her.”

Short short: “Who doesn’t like an Anal Creampie? #LPRTG #ANAL

Who doesn’t like an anal cream pie?

I mean, seriously. You fuck your girl, sitting on the edge of the bed, she is reverse cowgirl and your cock obliterates her asshole, stretching her open like a grocery bag stuffed with boxes of tissues. She grunts as you fuck her ass. She pushes her ass all the way back at first but then goes down less and less. The more you sodomize her the more you realize your cock’s not going as deep in tumblr_no71xmypGu1u77rjno1_1280anymore. You pull it out. Your turn her around. You look at your cock and then her. She shakes her head. Your grab her by the hair and push her down. You make her gag on it. This gets her spit all over the head, the shaft, the root, the balls. Her face betrays that she’s disgusted that she has become the type who will eat ass off of cock. You bask in the debasement of your whore. You turn her back around and pummel her asshole. It now slips all the way in until your balls bang her cunt-lips. You are fully devouring her now de-flowered ass. She is yours forever.

You fully unload every last drop of your cum into her ass. You empty your balls up her waiting, pimped-out asshole.

You watch her push the cum out.

Bullshit Bulletin #7 @MJKingOfErotica #LPRTG #EARTG @horbooks

There has been a significant rise in the number of LPRTG Newsletter followers. Thank you to all the new recruits.

For those of you considering joining, consider this:



This Site

The other awesome success has been the rise in people buying directly from this site via paypal. It’s a great way for the reader to pay less for our books while the author gets the entire profit. It’s win win for both author and reader. Do take advantage. Visit the Book Shop and find titles that interest you.


Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade

What's with the feet?

What’s with the feet? Click the heels to buy the book!

Of course, the nude new news for MJ fans is that he’s crawled out from under a rock to pen the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade and is about to drop a How To book that will blow your fucking minds. It’s kind of my version of Callie Press’s How To Give Good Head. As you know, women kind of suck at giving head except for a few blesséd souls.

This one is about you. And, hot damn, are you sexy and up to your ears in pussy and problems. There’s chocolate sauce, there’s custard, there are bicycles handles in assholes, there are synapses soaked with dopamine, there is romance, a virgin touched by Allah, a hooker (well, they say she’s a hooker), and a cameraman in a Darth Vader mask telling you the intricacies of Gorilla Glue. What? Yep, there’s a hell of a lot of stuff, but YOU pick which option you want because this is a CHOOSE YOUR OWN KINK. That’s right! See the hot girls in pink over there? Click them to buy this amazing new pulpy erotic smutpunk.

Also, please leave a review. Even if you just write a word or “it was good!” I will be eternally grateful. Reviews rock! Reviewers rock! Rimmies rimmies!

Do you hear that? Right in the peripheral of your brain. Yes that. Like audio ghosts. What the…? What is that? Is that what I think it is, baby? Callie? Emme? Genevieve? Mama? Is that the funk? The Flashlight? the Mothership? How’s your Funk? la da da di da da da da da da da. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam! 

How’s your Funk-Entelechy? Me? Well, I’m known as lollipop man, aka the long-haired sucker, so not to0 funkin’ bad. Why are there stars in your eyes? All the better to funk you with.

Bernie Worrell, Dr. Woo, RIP, my funk brotha!

I was lucky enough to see Dr. Woo play over thirty times at various locations from small supper clubs to big concert halls. I was also given the amazing moment of meeting the band and chatting with them for hours, which I’ll obviously never forget. This man truly changed my life. Y’all may not know, some of you do, that I moonlight as a funk brother playing drums, keyboard, guitar, and bass depending on the funk. In fact, I didn’t have eyes on writing at all when I was younger. I was music all the way. If you’d like to know the truth, ask away. Until then, i’ll leave it shrouded in mystery. Listen to one of the greatest keyboard players to ever touch the planet Earth. – Very cool jam with even the audience involved


Anything else to report these days? If so, let me know.

Ooh Ooh, nerdy girl editing by Jenn, the ex-Disney star. Try her out. She did the Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapades. She’s a genius. Any mistakes are mine, not hers. I’m the one who can’t edit worth shit. Click the link and see what she offers. Mention my name when you do.

And the last thing is there are a lot of new poems on this site by both me and my new super-crush Genevieve Greene.


A parting tweet to enjoy:

poem about big tits | #BigTits #LPRTG


in love with her big tits

there’s nothing

like a big pair,

is there?

nothing like

when she shakes

her shoulders

and they bang

into your face

nothing like jizzing

in her mouth

and watching

her drip your cum

down onto her pink


You May Also Like:

Click the Waffle House to Read the Poem written for a Goddess Fan


A poem about jealousy and big tits: “The Big Tit Looms” | #BigTits

the Big Tit Looms

the big tit looms
like an avalanche
about to stop the galaxy
from drinking coffee
late each night
under buzzing neon signs
that sprinkle the street
like sprinkles on ice cream
like Montgomery Bumps
on the big areola

the big tit looms
once tasted
like a mothership
if one of its dicks go astray
the big tit zaps
a sizzling jealousy laser
at other big tits

Poem: Did her in the Parking Lot

i did her in the car
in the parking lot
in the basement
of the tower i live in

in the shadows
in a remote parking space
under the supermarket
in the shadows

i did her in the car
first she blew me
from the passenger side
leaning over by the steering wheel

then she blew me out
the window
i stood next to the car
pumped her mouth

then she got in
that delicious slut
her ass alone
hanging out the window

it was surreal to see ass
hanging out the window of my car
supple porcelain ass
i photographed it hanging

like a dog desperate for some air
i did her hard, drilling
my monster cock into her hole
until she shook and called out my name


Thank you, sir. Please cum again.

we’ve never met before

but choose a waffle house

as our rendezvous

cause coffee and hash browns

are sexy

she waits standing with her ass

against a table

she works there

she’s the manager, closing

i came in the door she’s left unlocked

as soon as I see her

i throw her down

as soon as i see her

her panties are off

at her ankles

with her jean shorts

her shoulders are pinned

her legs are up

over my shoulders

both her hands are under her ass

offering her cunt to me

but i spit on it

instead spike cock up her ass

the lights are on and anyone driving by can see

the sexy glasses wearing manager

getting fucked with laminated menus

sticking to her sweaty naked back

with her tank top up and her titties shaking

nipples jiggling on top like a cherry on gelatin

she’s grunting and moaning

holding her ass up for my pleasures

I reach down and take her aface and say,

“You’re a delicious whore,”

and slap her hard across the face

her asshole clenches and coaxes out my cum

right up her asshole

her nipples bloom

a moan slips out from her gorgeous mouth

I pull my cock and before the cum leaks out

I tap her ass with a buttplug

“Hold my cum inside you,” I say.

Then I lower my face to her bald cunt

and lick her clit

Her knees close on me

her pussy is my late night waffle snack

I leave my tongue flat against it

I don’t move it

she kind of grinds her clit against my immobile tongue

while I reach up and grab her tits

I rub them then pull the nipples

then reach for the tabasco and steak sauce

I dump both on her clit and go back to licking

getting that sour steak sauce to tame her cunt

getting that spicy tabasco to enrage her cunt

she moans and her hips quake

she grabs my head and pushed me so hard

i swim in her cuntlips and my nose is against her clit

before i regain my bearings and let her rub her clit to orgasm

shaking, shrieking, waffle house orgasm

right there on the table

her body flails like a fish out of water

until her hands drop her own ass

down to the table with a thud

i crash into the booth

pants still down

she rolls over and lowers her mouth onto my cock.