Poem by Mistress of SMUTpunk, the illustrious QUEEN Kegel | #MrBrtg #LPRTG #SSRTG

Do we really need another literary category subcategory? Why not, smutpunkists? by Emme Hor There are so many literary ‘punks’ these days that it just seems like a buzzword to use in the new age of selling books via keywords. Imagine the Classics: Lolita (Old Man Young Vixen Daddy Age Play Series) or Hamlet (DubCon Paranormal 15th Century Murder/Suicide Crime Thriller Mystery Royalty & Aristocrats), or even Star Wars (Metaphysical and Visionary Galactic Empire Space Marine Clones Incenstuous Paranormal Space Soap Opera Dystopian Sci-Fi Series). So everybody is trying to get on the algorithm’s good sides with creative keyword use, and you now have categories upon categories with subcategories inside categories. Frankly, it has become a mess. If you like muck, then you’re in heaven searching for a book on amazon. If you don’t, you type in your favorite keywords and you’re on with it. So now you have steampunk, cyberpunk, splatterpunk, and a bunch of punks to help you sort through the mess and find something cool and unique that you like. Well, add smutpunk to the list. Smutpunk, really? That sounds awful. Strangely, though, the new term applies to work that isn't bad. It’s erotica with plot that mixes forms from such varied sources as magic realism, science fiction, and Asian kung fu movies. In the same way most other punks use some common thing to glue them together, smutpunk uses the most basic protein of all to create its own panspermia universe, mixing pop-culture, erotica, the Cthulhu mythos, Far East legends, and Non-Western spirituality with Science Fiction, Pulp, and Silver-Age-Comic era elements into a head spinning, ball-busting good time. The idea behind it, formulated originally by Moctezuma Johnson and Callie Press, is to make erotica stand up on its own even if you remove the sex (which these writers admit they sometimes forget to provide) because the plots have other equally important elements. In Halloween 2015 Callie Press’s Butterface was highly-lauded, and Moctezuma Johnson’s Battle for Alien Relish has recently been featured as a kind of B-movie classic on WTF Friday. Smutpunk is just beginning and has only scratched the surface of the its full potential like a Sith lord just beginning to use the dark side for tripping her friends and giggling. Get on the slippery bandwagon and have a taste. Type Smutpunk into Amazon and see what new worlds you get.

Untitled Poem by Callie Press

I went to town to see a man

Who wasn’t even there

And when I left to buy an ounce

A sadness filled the air.

The twerp I bought from made a pass,

But he was just a pup.

I shoved my smutpunk up his ass

And that quite shut him up.

His older brother, he was cute

so then we messed around until their father got off work,

still dressed up as a clown.

A clown is creepy, I declared.

White grease paint

smeared my tits.

Both dad and son

made Callie cum

as twerp jerked off in fits.

No really, he was spastically

yanking at his stiffie.

In starts and stops

and ups and downs

it really was quite nifty,

But I grew bored of that odd place,

I blew that nutty scene

because that kind of stupid shit

should only be in dreams.

Life is rarely dumber

than the fucking shit I live.

I want it all to end sometimes

and this is where I change the rhymes

because that’s what I want.

I am the queen in this,

my dream, and you the debutante.

So suck it up, you little bitch

because I run this show,

and if there’s info that you need

I’ll tell you when I know.

Until then eat a bag of dicks

and buy my fucking books,

and live your life your own damn way

and something something -ooks.

I could have spent time on a rhyme

that made that line work out

But this is off the top my head

my brains’s a running spout

of useless facts and funny shit

it never must make sense,

And Iron Maiden taught me well

to rhyme the word ‘vengeance.’

So go away, fuck off, begone,

because I’m off to bed, with fuzzy head

and hair of red and aching legs of lead

from running all the LIVE LONG day

I’m tired, cold, and dead. Night.


Take me to read more incredible SMUTPUNK by Callie Press


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