Smutpunk is erotica with plot that mixes forms from such varied sources as magic realism, science fiction, and Asian kung fu movies. In the same way most other punks use some common element to glue them together, smutpunk uses the most basic protein of all to create its own panspermia universe, mixing pop-culture, erotica, the Cthulhu mythos, Far East legends, and Non-Western spirituality with Science Fiction, Pulp, and Silver-Age-Comic era elements into a head spinning, ball-busting good time.
Well that’s the answer according to me, Moctezuma Johnson. Why doesn’t someone ask Miss Callie Press?
Stephen Chow + Vivid;
Frank Zappa + Snoop;
EC + Silver Age Marvel;
Hamburger Helper + Glenlivet;
Mitch Hedberg + Black Widow;
— Callie Press (@calliepress) February 27, 2016
Peel Another Banana, America
You love Aztec bitches
in their feathered headress
tattoed Teotitlan titties
hairless heiroglypic cunts
Today Tijuana has–
Meshica cunt shtuffed
full of obsidian cock–
Dress her up like an Aztec
in jaguar skin
to sacrifice at the altar
of thick Moctezuma cock
lay her on the stone
high atop pyramid
high on princess pussy
with King-sized cock
plunge that guatemalteca
like you were splitting her
in two, ripping her apart
to get her entrails out
splatter that tomato
chocolate- and coffee-inventing
face with dick drip
diciendo: “dame dame dame
todo el poder!”
Read the Rest of the Poem on the Full Poem Page, Sorry (I had some formatting issues and couldn’t get it all to paste here well)
Untitled Poem by Callie Press
I went to town to see a man
Who wasn’t even there
And when I left to buy an ounce
A sadness filled the air.
The twerp I bought from made a pass,
But he was just a pup.
I shoved my smutpunk up his ass
And that quite shut him up.
His older brother, he was cute
so then we messed around until their father got off work,
still dressed up as a clown.
A clown is creepy, I declared.
White grease paint
smeared my tits.
Both dad and son
made Callie cum
as twerp jerked off in fits.
No really, he was spastically
yanking at his stiffie.
In starts and stops
and ups and downs
it really was quite nifty,
But I grew bored of that odd place,
I blew that nutty scene
because that kind of stupid shit
should only be in dreams.
Life is rarely dumber
than the fucking shit I live.
I want it all to end sometimes
and this is where I change the rhymes
because that’s what I want.
I am the queen in this,
my dream, and you the debutante.
So suck it up, you little bitch
because I run this show,
and if there’s info that you need
I’ll tell you when I know.
Until then eat a bag of dicks
and buy my fucking books,
and live your life your own damn way
and something something -ooks.
I could have spent time on a rhyme
that made that line work out
But this is off the top my head
my brains’s a running spout
of useless facts and funny shit
it never must make sense,
And Iron Maiden taught me well
to rhyme the word ‘vengeance.’
So go away, fuck off, begone,
because I’m off to bed, with fuzzy head
and hair of red and aching legs of lead
from running all the LIVE LONG day
I’m tired, cold, and dead. Night.
Take me to read more incredible SMUTPUNK by Callie Press
Click the cum dripping down the cock to open a whole world of SMUTPUNK. Thank you^^
I love when “Amazon Customer” drops a surprise 5-star review on me. I’m glad somebody caught the humor and the sex appeal of this weird political satire smutpunk, Dump the Futa President.
In other news about myself, Triangulum Stain 2 – The Battle for Alien Relish came out of the gate with a bang and then settled back down to Earth (a long fall from the Triangulum Galaxy). I just wanted to pop back in with my fans with this sudden spike to 22nd in LGBT Science Fiction. Thank you whoever is suddenly buying it! Perhaps it’s in part due to the inquisitive and well-written Smutpunk Article by fantasy writer Jamie McLachlan.
First, this is technically an advert for my book, so please read a Free Sample of my fun Asian Futa Erotica Book
Now, if you’d like to simply enjoy the Full Trailer:
Having a little encoding problem thanks to the massive cock-size of the Full Trailer. Please use this link for now where the video should be up and minute now. It’s 3 a.m. and I’m going to try and sleep. I’ll embed the bad motherfucker tomorrow. Thanks for understanding that all work and no play makes MJ a dull boy, ese. Ooh, I think PornHub has saved by Mexican-Italian ass. Hope so! Look just below to be sure. Enjoy!
Read Free Sample of the Asian Futa Erotica Book
Note: Music in both videos used with permission from bensound.com
Thanks for the awesome sounds, Ben!
Been messing around with Instagram and with xvideos and pornhub. Have a look at this vid about a Gay Mexican Alien who falls in love with presidential hopeful T. Ronald Dump.
Keep in mind Dump is the Futa President and they will Dump the Futa president. Both meanings are cool in this smutpunk romp.
Give it a read here and Latino Futa Presidential Smutpunk!
Well, it’s already been a weird month. Tuesday I released three books in a day, Dump The Futa President (Making America Great Again, Ese), Romancing the Hot Stone, and The Nose. I’m also about to drop a Steak and BJ Day Bundle. I had to get in on the Trump Parody craze but ended up writing an attack of American Politics in general, not specifically against Trump. I guess I relate to Trump supporters in the sense that they, like Sanders supporters, think the system is so fucked up it needs a jolt. We just don’t remotely agree what the jolt should be. Anyway, I don’t want to get into a political debate, I just had to hop on the bandwagon and smutpunk the shit out of the presidential parody.
Callie Press, who also dropped a presidential parody called Tonguing Tromp, is on the verge of completing her very creative Erotic Pulp, which I can’t wait to read.
Regarding the names, Callie went with Domald Tromp. I went with Tronald Dump. She went with Clitin. I stole Kat Crimson’s Clitskin.
R.B. O’Brien was a guest on the Blog Tour Bus Stop. It’s was always going to be hard to top Linzi Basset’s interview, the Nabokov of Erotica but RB did a great job and got a lot of comments, which is cool. R.B. was also a good sport about answering questions such as what’s your stance on getting dick pics and do you write naked on a dildo’d chair.
Check out lots of great writing at mrblackthorne.com
Mr. Blackthorne hit 25,000 followers. If you’re not following him, I really don’t know what you’re waiting for to do so. This is your invitation.
Don’t forget to stay up to date with Milked by the Yeti at literaryporn.net
You haven’t heard of MILKED BY THE YETI? Do you live under a rock? Well, get yourself a quick one-minute taste at xvideos.com’s trailer of Natasha and Lena in Milked by the Yeti.Please give it a thumbs up if you enjoyed it. Thank you. I made it, so I could really use the encouragement.
The SMUTPUNK lexicon is being edited now as you read. That promises to be noteworthy. If you have any words to add, please let me know.
Emme Hor put out a new book with my crappy editing. It’s called Romance on Rollerskates. If you love butt plugs then this is a MUST-READ. You should read it even if you don’t like butt plugs but you’re simply interested in Malaysian (sex) culture. There are mosques, roller skates, and kopi tarik (stretched Malay-style coffee, yum). There’s an alpha male, I think he’s a billionaire, I forget, and a hot little Chindian-Malay sex pot. There’s always a sex pot, isn’t there? It features a facial, anal, and rollerskating. What’s not to love?
SMUTPUNK is new but gaining a bit of steam. Hopefully, we will get some more traction going forward.
Remember to notice that the HEART SHAPED ASS is just an ass upside down (see right if in doubt).
Happy Valentine’s Day, Everyone!
Of course you already know that July Cumming (the dungeon doctor) is awesome. If you need a reminder or have been living under a dirty rock, then check out her exxxcerpts on the MJ site.
It’s your last chance to get a Valentine’s Day Poem written for you. I wrote two poems for Sherri Clark, who you may know as the Ardent Rose. Click the link to her name to have a look. If you want one, hire me now before it’s too late!
Take advantage of this great service:
SEXY POET FOR HIRE $1 for a poem for a loved one Pay via my site or amazon #EARTG #LPRTG #SSRTG Just email or comment below to hire
— Moctezuma Johnson (@MJKingOfErotica) December 18, 2015
Poet for hire is always a good thing, right? I suggest you buy the ever-popular hate poem. The poem is emailed anonymously to anyone you choose and features nasty, MJ-style abuse. Great for ex-husbands, bosses, cunt family members, and nemeses. Buy today, guaranteed delivery on Valentine’s Day (plan ahead)!
Sarchashmo is the poet for hire. He’ll cockslap any fools into submission. If he cannot, he’ll employ the help of his “friend”, Queen Kegel the Sextacular.
Got something important to add?
Let me know.
I’m always around. Email, comment, tweet, or stop me on the street (grabbing me by the balls is the best way to get my wandering attention).
‘Nuff said, says San Esperma di Desgracia
Excerpt from -
The well-endowed man of the house, Tom, overhears a sexy phone conversation between 18-year-old Samantha and her boyfriend. Forbidden desires for the brat flood his mind while he unloads a massive amount of love for her.
“Can we do it in your parent’s bed?” Blake loved to get filthy wherever he thought he could get away with doing it. He had fucked most girlfriends in their parent’s bed, shower, car and hot tub. He’d even been so nasty as to fuck one of his girlfriends in her little brother’s room when he was outside playing with friends. He really didn’t care as long as he got off.
“Why would you want to do it in my parent’s bed? Isn’t that a little…strange?”
Tom reached his hand into his bottoms and grabbed his cock. The idea of her getting fucked in his bed, was enough to send his hard flesh into stroke off mode. His princess should get punished for the shit she was talking about. Tom’s cock had other things in mind and needed its own punishment.
“Oh baby. I think it would be so hot in your parents bed. So dirty, so wrong, so sexy. Can we please do it there?” The thought of fucking his girlfriend in her parent’s bed and taking her virginity really turned Blake on. His strokes quickened.
“Really? You would get more turned on if you were fucking me in my mom and dad’s bed? I guess, if that is what you want. I want to make you happy. We do have to clean up our mess after. Can not have them find out! I would be in so much shit. I mean like my dad would kill me.”
“Oh yeah, I want you to call me daddy when I make love to you. Better yet, call me big daddy.”
“Really? Um, that request is kind of unusual don’t you think? That would be so weird calling you big daddy.
“Why baby? Wouldn’t you do it for me?” Blake asked in a charming tone.
“For one, my dad is my dad. Yes, he is good-looking for his age and yes, my friends think his silver hair is sexy, but I think it would creep me out a little. Not that he is ew, but the situation is ew. I don’t know.”
“Oh baby, I just thought it would be hot. You know, because it’s so dirty. It would intensify our pleasure. It’s like every guy’s fantasy to have his girl call him big daddy.”
“Really? I mean I’m not totally against calling you that. I just don’t want you thinking it’s strange when I’m moaning out “give it to me and fuck me daddy”, know what I mean?”
Tom was ready to burst after hearing his girl say “fuck me daddy”. He was happy to hear she didn’t think he was a total drag. Knowing her friends thought he was sexy, turned him on even more so. His nuts were aching at the lingering thought of sleeping with his little girl. If only it could happen. With his wife away, he was in some serious need of getting off. He shifted his weight on the floor, trying to get himself in a better position to view her naked tits. The floor underneath him let out a slight creak as he pumped his dry stiff flesh. Ah, shit.
“Oh God, I have to go! I think my dad is up. I’ll think about your request. Have fun getting to sleep. Don’t share my picture.”
In a panic, Tom rapidly pulled out his hand from his pants and headed down the hall to his room next to hers. He flicked on his lamp and closed the door behind him. Tom was in the clear now. She would never know he had listened in on her conversation and was fondling himself to her sweet young breasts just outside her door. His indecent arousal had adrenaline flowing through his entire body.
“I mean it Blake. I swear to God, it better not end up on some site.”
“It won’t baby. Goodnight. Thanks again.” Blake hung up his phone and continued thrusting his cock into his fist. It took him almost a year to see her breasts. He was glad he didn’t wait for her and had found other things to get his rocks off.
Noticing she had left her door slightly open, she scurried off her bed, scrambled to get her shirt back on and headed to her door. Sammie peered her head out into the hallway. “Daddy? Is that you?” Samantha’s voice trembled as she called out for him. She was so nervous of getting caught with her clothes off. She waited, trying to hear the sound again from the hall and didn’t hear anything or see anyone there. “Daddy?” she whispered. With no reply, she shrugged it off and closed her bedroom door behind her.
Tom rushed off his pants, tossed them to the corner chair and climbed into bed. He scooted his ass up to rest his back against the headboard and grabbed the universal remote off the nightstand. Hitting the power button to the television, he fumbled to change the input to DVD.Hurry up, hurry up. Come on, change already. He banged the remote against his palm thinking it would help. Finally. He then pressed play on the porno already loaded inside the player.
Reaching over to his side-table, he opened the drawer and shoved his hand inside. Feeling his way around the contents, he pulled out his rubber cock-ring and a tube of his favourite lube, ‘Prolonging 4U’. It was a special numbing kind that desensitized his cock from cumming too soon. It was also great for anal sex, but his wife wasn’t into that unless she had too much wine. Tom opened the bottle and drew a line of tingling blue gel up his thick rod. His hand promptly cupped around his prick and began massaging it around his throbbing meat. Fuck that feels good. Tom adjusted the opening of the ring, slid it over his cock-head, down to the base of his shaft and tightened the knot.
He hit the fast forward button to a scene with a young woman in pigtails, riding the cock of an older man. As the girl bounced her small frame up and down the shaft of the buff mature man, she grunted with every thrust driven into her. He imagined the moans were coming from his daughter. Tom closed his eyes and pictured sliding his member inside his little girl. He thought of her getting fucked hard and deflowered by his own prick. Tom jacked off in rhythm of the sounds, giving great pleasure to his deserving numbed cock.
Read more at Voices Carry – 1 by July Cumming
Due to the success of the illustrious Linzi Basset’s interview, I’ve decided to try my hand and chatting with a few more writers. Hopefully readers can learn how other writers go about their craft and get to know about the author answering the questions. Today’s interview is with R.B. O’Brien. I admittedly know very little her. So please get to know Miss O’Brien with me.
A Note About Formatting: my questions are in purple and everything else is R.B.
First, since I don’t know anything about you, let’s get some basics on the table. Tell us your name and who you are.
R.B. O’Brien. The initials are named after my Nana and my great aunt. I’ll leave it at that. It is a pen name for a reason, right? I write erotic romance. The Natalie’s Edge series is contemporary BDSM Romance. The last in the series is loosely based on a real-life experience and is nominated for the Golden Flogger Award for Best BDSM Romance of 2015.
I’m a huge Shakespeare fan and teach for a living. I’m a seeker of knowledge and never stop asking questions and even when I have the answer, I’m never satisfied. I know this may be a cop-out, MJ, and I apologize. But the best way to get to know me is to direct you to my blog. I wear my heart on my sleeve there. It is the essence of who I am. A writer. A dancer. A teacher. A thinker. A dreamer. A hopeless romantic. An artist.
What’s the name of your latest book and what genre it is considered.
My latest book is Thorne: Rose’s Dark Contract, coming out this month, god willing (or something like that). I’m struggling to classify it. BDSM; dark romance; dubious consent; erotic romance; suspense. Ha! Here is the blog I wrote about it. Take from it what you will:
This is a book I started quite a while ago. I was in a rather dark place when I began writing it. I never thought it would see the light of day. I almost just bled the words and didn’t give much thought to it. When I put an excerpt up on Mr. Blackthorne’s site as well as here on my website, I got a lot of interest. People asked me to finish it. Seems I’m not the only one who likes dark characters, damaged men, and an exploration of human motivation.
So I decided that as soon as I could, I would get back to it.
When I picked it back up a few weeks ago, I realized that dark place I was in was no longer at the forefront of my emotions. I had buried, or at least accepted, certain things in my life as truths and the depth of my confusion and sadness had worked itself out.
Well. That may not be fully true. The struggle continues, but it’s not debilitating. There is life again after hurt. Love abounds. All around me. In all different forms. And the love I thought I might have felt seems sort of surreal now, almost like an out-of-body experience. That’s what distance does. Writing doesn’t hurt either.
Don’t think this isn’t dark though. It is. If you’ve read Natalie’s Edge, you’ll know that a story without angst, upheaval, insecurities, and flaws is not something I’m capable of writing. And this is from the male’s POV and let me tell you: This dude is indeed flawed! But his story is interesting and I think there is a twist that you will not at all see coming.
I hope you’ll read it when it’s complete. And if you hate him or think he’s too controlling or that he has too many issues, keep reading. You just may be quite surprised at what happens.
Now, the burning question my readers have for you, what’s your stance on getting dick pics from your twitter followers? Yay, Nay, or May(be).
Hahahahahaha. Get one every day and when I don’t I wonder what is going on in the universe. Dicks aren’t all that attractive. That’s what I feel about that. J What one does what said dick, that is far more important. I think there’s a reason that the female nude body far outweighs the male in art!
Now, straight to the hardest and most profound question of them all, do you really write in lingerie on a chair with dildo strapped to it, or is that make believe? No, seriously, why do you write? How did this hard, lonely life become your passion?
In all seriousness, I write my life. I write to escape real life. I write to live moments over again. I write to rewrite the moments I’ve lived over in a way that makes more sense to me. I write the moments to heal. I write the moments I hope never happen. And I write the moments I hope will happen.
I’ve also learned that much of my writing comes from my subconscious. And I’ve discovered so much about myself in my writing. I don’t see it on the surface necessarily. But then I go back and realize how much of myself is in my work. The Natalie’s Edge series was taken from a lot of my reality and is autobiographical in places. But the story is fictionalized…until I go back and really read it. It is a self examination—no question.
I can’t just write a little each day like many writers. I have to sequester myself for long periods of time. I have to travel into the world, immerse myself as if I’m actually living it myself. I have to become lost in my imagination and in the minds of my characters. I often tell people that I live two lives. My waking world and the world of my writing. If I don’t find that place, that quiet spot in my mind to let the world exist, it simply doesn’t come together for me. Again, because I teach, I get long stretches where I can do that.
Where do you publish your writing and why?
I have a publisher, EXtasy Books. So my books from the Natalie’s Edge series are everywhere and coming to print. Thorne: Rose’s Dark Contract will be self-published and I will try Amazon and KU.
I really like to know what other writers like, similar to what songs musicians like to cover. It says something about both artists. What’s your favorite line of somebody else’s writing? Something tells me you’re going to quote the bard.
Nope. I love the Bard, but you’re right. Too obvious. And choosing just one? God, MJ. How cruel. If I must it is this: “To write is to descend, excavate, to go underground.”—Anais Nin
With which writer would you secretly trade places? (so, no Shakespeare is not an option, use your brain!)
If I tell you, it will no longer be a secret! All my favorite writers led tragic lives it seems. Depression. Suicide. Mental insanity. Or, they led “lives of quiet desperation.” Hemingway, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf, Kate Chopin, Emily Bronte, on and on and on. So….my favorite works do not equate to trading places, you sneaky interviewer you!
To answer, I think I would wish to trade places with E.E. Cummings. A male. An artist. A writer. A genius. Someone who did want he wanted instead of what others expected of him. A glutton. A sexual deviant who loved and lusted many at one time. But only to see what it’s like to have that lack of conscience and to live in moment (“since feeling is first”) without the fear I carry. The fear of guilt. The fear of consequences. And the fear to really fly and live. But then, deep down, I don’t dislike myself or my life so much that I would REALLY want to trade places. In fact, I rather like the life I’ve had, the life I have, and the life I will continue. After all, it is me. It was who I was meant to be this time around. I like that I care. I like that I care for others and their feelings. And I like that I want love and loyalty and honesty. I think it’s important to live life in the moment but also with conviction and attention to those around us. I don’t really WANT to be a glutton or a sexual deviant. I think it would get old. Fast. But… for a day or a week or a month? I’d like that!
Thank you for stopping in to chat with me, R.B. Best of luck with your new book. Let us know when it’s out so we can have a look!