I am reviewing two Callie Press books in one post. Why? Cuz I wanna. It’s my blog site and I’ll do what I want. I’ve been messing around on Goodreads like a teenager feeling up his first set of tits while hiding in the back of the bus from the Godly Army. It’s awkward and weird and there’s sticky stuff all over the back of the seat, so I’d prefer to put my words down here free from the shackles of censorship and the Godly Prude Army.
Butterface is gonna git ya
The plot is basically this, boys that haven’t gotten their peckers wet yet are going to die. In fact, they are going to get fucked to death. There’s this boogiewoman, this succubus, that wants their teen jizz. She will fuck their brains out, literally, leaving drooling, non-coherent fucknuckles in their used up, once virile bodies. One weird, very deliberate choice by Callie to add to the inbred feel of the book is to give just about all the characters virtually the same name, like Jimmy Bob and Billy Jimmy and Billy Bob. The names plus this homoerotic fishing hole with jizz floating in the water leads you into the tale told mostly from the heresy of Old Pap. Without jizz, the primordial protein, we wouldn’t be alive and this is the theme that makes Butterface so much more than a Halloween tale. It’s a history of the universe, it’s a creation story, it’s a Cthulhu myth, and it’s a hot, nasty panty-wetting, titty-rubbing, cock-hardening literary porn erotica opus.
No more plot spoiling, that’s close enough to the verge for me to elicit a little gooey pre-cum but not one glistening drip more.
The thing that’s remarkable in this book is the voice. The narrator’s voice is as polished as a million-dollar pearl while the characters sound like something out of a Faulkner masterpiece. In the first few pages you’ll hear that Callie has an incredible ear for dialogue, particularly the speech of these inbred country folk. It’s so intense I couldn’t help think, even though I know she’s a genius, that she couldn’t keep it up (yes, I’m giggling) for the whole book. But, holy hard-on, she keeps it up and rock hard the whole fucking book. It’s unlikely. It’s improbable. And she does it. Along the way, she tells quite a tale of star-crossed lovers sacrificing for each other, a horny old man making a deal with a she-devil, and a bunch of dumb innocent virgins making horrible decisions thanks to inbreeding, religion, and too much mercury in the water.
Don’t listen to a word I have put down here, everything I’m trying to say is too lubed up and skewed by my ejaculate and the sublimity in Callie’s erotic work of art. Just read it, get it straight from the source.
Quick before butterface come an’ git ya.
Buy Butterface (mouse-over for different amazon stores in different countries and languages)