As you can see from the image below, the Amazon Bestseller’s Rank has the Kama Sutra three times and then Moctezuma Johnson
24 October 2016 — The Sex Manual by Moctezuma Johnson is currently number 4 on the Amazon Bestseller’s List. There are three books in front of it in Free Books and all three are the Kama Sutra. I guess, in some ways, this new book of mine really is the Kama Sutra 2016. It’s the same idea, with less drawings, but updated for the modern world. You’ll see that the reviewer above, Renata, summed it up as lewd, “rude and crude.” I think she got it just about right!
Free Download: Claim it Right Now on Amazon
All day long the Sex Manual is Free
24 October 2016, Cyberspace — Click to get a Free Sexual Flamethrower How To Kit eBook. Don’t be shy. Download the book for free and give it a read. I promise you that you will learn something and have a laugh or two along the way. It’s great for women trying to spice up their sex life and increase their skill going down. Men, learn some ways to get what you want. Let’s call that the mental art of seduction, shall we? So if you are having trouble convincing your partner to go ass to mouth or take a facial in public, this book will solve your problems. Give it a try! What do you have to lose, it’s a free download! Get it and save it for a rainy day, if you want.
If you love the book, which I hope you will, please leave a review either on my site or on Amazon. Reviews are like little gold flakes to an author as we try to smelt it into a gold bar. So even a one sentence review of “I enjoyed it” is incredibly useful to me. Thank you in advance.
So, please enjoy your free download of the Sex Manual and leave a review if you have enjoyed it (or hated it) so that others know.
Thanks so much.
Pretty Asian Girl with a bag
Wait, what’s in the bag? Is it makeup? Is it a book? Is it a butt plug? Read the Sex Manual by Moctezuma Johnson and find out. This non-fiction manual is loaded with useful advice, tons of metaphors, and a lot of over-the-top humor, the kind you’ve come to expect from Moctezuma Johnson. It is written in two sections, one for men and one for women, so it has everybody covered. Learn how to give better head, dress better, and how to convince your partner of a wide range of naughty, no, fuck that we aren’t on facecunt, downright motherfucking nasty shit like ass to mouth and facefucking in public.
Dildogeddon — What the heck is that?
Well, you’ve probably heard of the pornapocalypse, the desire of almost all medias to rid themselves of vile adult content. Even twitter is on the anti-porn train recently. Ugh. Why? What’s with puritan America trying to tell all of us what to do. I don’t like it at all. Not one little bit.
Now, dildogeddon is the attack of earth by alien forces. These aliens aren’t the regular aliens with big green heads who violate lonely humans on motherships, nope, these are sentient alien dildos that reproduce when united with Earthling cum. It’s a funny, schlocky B-movie, campy book by Moctezuma Johnson. It’s also a metaphor for how all this conservatism from American evangelicals to Islamic Fundamentalists is just totally bat-shit fucking crazy.
Read the Triangulum Stain Series for more.
The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom
Read the Sex Manual right now
The Sex Manual – Read these sex tips for a flamethrower in the bedroom
Why are you rubbing two sticks together in the bedroom? Get a flamethrower!
Ever wished your partner came with a small pamphlet on how to operate correctly? Well, now you have it. Moctezuma spent nearly a decade running a bar, writing erotica, and blogging. He gathered a lot of information. So you want to have mind-blowing sex but all you know is what your priest and Cosmo told you? You poor thing. Well, fret no more. Let Moctezuma Johnson share his research in this in-depth, self-help book. He has found out what’s plaguing most bedroom partners. It’s simply intimidation and insecurity. So many fans have asked him how to be better, sexier, and more experienced. Moctezuma speaks openly and honestly offering a series of very practical solutions for men and women. This non-fiction, how-to book is told with humor (a necessity for the bedroom) and compassion.
Whether male or female or transgender, The Sex Manual is the book you wish came with every person you’ve dated. Well, wish no more. It’s out, so add it to your kindle. Just the fact that you’re reading this description is proof that you’re ready to improve and you’re almost halfway there. This book will take you the rest of the way. It’s filled with ideas, game plans, tips, and list of clothing, toys, and poems to spice up your sex life.
Weekly Sex Tip #4
Each person is different, this is rule number one. So you have to get to know each partner. Some partners need gentle touches, others want rough angry sex. Here’s the key to my angry sex tip. What makes angry sex so hot? Passion.
If you’re having angry sex with someone you’re with somebody who knows how to push your buttons. That person is probably somebody who you’ve known for a while. Perhaps a spouse or a long term partner. Once in a while it’s a loathsome freak you’ve picked up and plan to hate fuck right from the beginning (no judgments, I’ve been there!). Now the disgust, anger, and hate have the adrenaline pumping and have you feeling alive! This is passion. Passion is the main ingredient in angry sex. It’s what takes the boring out of this rough romp in the hay. Funnel all the nasty feelings you have into your sex drive and voila! Men will have raging hard-ons and women will be as sensitive as a hairless kitty.
Now go for it. This is the time for rough facefucking, for thrusting dick into cunt like he’s a jackhammer trying to rip up the tarmac. Fuck one orgasm, let’s build a goddamn Egyptian pyramid. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. This is no time to be civil, get that nose in her cunt, dudes. Floss with her bush. Lick that asshole, ladies. Gag on his dick! This is Angry Sex, Hate Fucking for Lovers, Make-Up Sex, Break Up Sex, I Hate Your Guts Sex. Whatever you want, take it. You’re a beast! You’re an animal. You’re nothing but cock. You’re whole body is cunt.
Tired of him running his mouth? Grab him by the hair and sit on his face. Rub your cunt lips over him until he shuts the fuck up and pleasures you. Guys, bored of her whining? Fuck her so hard and deep that those whines turn to screams and her nails draw blood as she cums repeatedly.
Oh your partner is a darling, you say? No way to rile him or her up? Well, here’s an angry sex tip newsflash.
Well, fuck that. Pick a fight. Steal his dinner. Lock her out. Forget to pick her up. Bring the neighbor’s panties into the apartment by accident from the laundry room. Yell at your partner in public (that might lead not only to hate sex, but to public sex, throw in a voyeur or two and you have the trifecta).
Next sex tip: Dirty Talk
Previous Sex Tip: Properly Warming Up An Ass
This Appendix for the Sex Manual is TOO HOT for Kindle, so here it is in the warm safety of Moctezuma’s genitals, err, website. There is a wealth of information here, so please read through it carefully and feel free to ask any questions below.
- Cleanstream Relax Desensitizing Anal Lube, 17oz
- Shibari Personal Lubricant – Water Based 8oz Bottle.
- PURE Njoy Metal Butt Plug Large 4 Inch Polished Steel
- Beginner Anal Plug Trainer Kit
- Njoy Pure Plug Large with Sliquid Sassy Anal Lube
- Romi Jeweled Butt Plug
For those of you who would like a quick fix on how to have a lot of fake cum at your disposal, you make like Master Series Jizz. You may want to use that with a Shibari Lube Launcher (what a name!) or a 100ml Syringe. This will get cum flying all over the spunky place. And if you aren’t a fan of Master Series, try Tom of Finland’s Seaman Lube.
For those of you who would like to make your own follow this Fake Cum Recipe Link. It’s really quite fun to make and you will get so much MORE and more is good.
- The Sex Manual (this link could be redundant if you landed on this page from The Sex Manual. Think dressing room mirrors and blowjobs on film)
- How to Give Good Head
- The Kama Sutra
Poems about Anal Sex
A few Poems to wet your pussy, I mean, whet your appetite for Anal
- The Anal Queen
- The Anal Pig
- Ass Pig Face
- Anal Bent Over the Pool Table in the Bar
- There You Have Ass
- Anal Pig
- Fucked Her Ass
- Fucked Her Ass (Remix 1)
If you have any products or idea to suggest, please do so in the comments. Thanks so much for reading!
Also, be sure to like MJ and Emme and Crew on FB
Get the vocabulary you deserve with the SMUTPUNK Lexicon
Scribes! Where have my scribes gone? Are they having a futa orgy again. A hyperfuta orgy. I need the scribes to organize and alphabetize this, please. Tell him as soon as he finishes eating his “soup,” thanks.
Splooge - the magical liquid that spews from cock jerked to satisfaction. The very life force of the universe. The stuff that flows through Planet Alien Relish. The material for which Butterface is in an obsessive and violent search.
Black Swan – A term used to express an unlikely event that you may want to prepare for just in case it does occur. Example: Before the human race archived the black swan, people thought there was no such thing as a black swan. Most people incorrectly believed black swans were as real as unicorns. Now we know they do, in fact, exist. Stock market crashes, cataclysmic events, and things getting lodged up your ass and needing emergency room assistance may all classify as black swan events.
Bukkake - when a submissive woman is lucky enough to be worshipped by the splooge of many men. In ancient times she often committed suicide after all the men present jizzed on her to save her family shame. Now bukkakes are often accompanied by the transfer of large sums of money. Whether or not our very own Emme Hor has participated in one can be neither confirmed nor denied.
The Five Hive – Also known as the Fuck Force Five, these ladies are highly trained Women in Black agents tasked with keeping the Earth safe from extraterrestrials. They are trained in advanced fucking, quantum physics, and rappelling down giant dildos.
Match of the Centuries – the epic battle between Butterface and Princess Chuckhole (See flyer)
Miss Lonely Hearts – This is the female straggler found in many bars and clubs who is pretty much good to go. Most guys can sit down with her, probably not even buy her a drink yet take her home and pound her until something gives, like a sink, a penis bone, or a pelvis. Often Miss Lonely Hearts makes a really top notch one night stand. She usually shows good manners, good hygiene, and good skills drinking, taking drugs, and in the sack.
Clear Heels – the required footwear of sluts all over the planet and universe. When men find a girl wearing these heels they can rest assured that they are in for a good time (similar items are hoop earrings, g-strings, and pink scrunchies).
Futa – A woman with a large cock. (See Reed James)
Spunk – See splooge
Smutpunk – It’s erotica with plot that mixes forms from such varied sources as magic realism, science fiction, and Asian kung fu movies. In the same way most other punks use some common thing to glue them together, smutpunk uses the most basic protein of all to create its own panspermia universe, mixing pop-culture, erotica, the Cthulhu mythos, Far East legends, and Non-Western spirituality with Science Fiction, Pulp, and Silver-Age-Comic era elements into a head spinning, ball-busting good time.
The Smutpunk Lexicon – a dictionary of the tasty words peppered on your smutpunk.
Dot-Connectors – People able to connect seemingly random, unconnectable ideas. Average Fuckers often mistake this awesome ability as random. Smutpunkists taste the awesome sauce in it.
Average Fuckers – In an effort to keep my wife happy, I’m no longer calling 99% of the world morons and instead trying to be more accurate by calling them average. I say it with tons of hidden malice. Well, the malice ain’t hidden to the dot-connectors, bless their depraved coal-hearts.
Hyperfuta – a futa with a cock the size of a car.
If you’d like a word added, just leave it in the comments below and I’ll see what I can do.
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I don’t like telling you what to do, but you really should add this to the SMUTPUNK WIKI. I’m just saying.