The FUTA Dicksicle Stand on Amazon #LPRTG #BookBoost

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The Futa Dicksicle Stand by Moctezuma Johnson

It’s out! Live! New Release! Compra compra compra! Damas y Caballeros…Ladies and Gentleman…여러분…download the sticky, creamy dicksicle sisterhood fun now. 

Basic Plot:

A sexually repressed pregnant woman tries to solve hot flashes by a drive to get ice cream. Instead her friendship with her bestie gets tested when a FUTA-on-FEMALE ménage-e-trois is suggested by a sexy, sassy dicksicle cashier. Find out how far our heroine is willing to go to please her bestie and keep the creamsicles milkie.

Week No. 3 – Snap, Crackle, Art [mirror of FB post on Nu Romantics]

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I’m doing a weekly feature on Pop Art for the Nu Romantics. Click to see past posts. This week is week no. 3 – Snap, Crackle, Art featuring the work of Sir Eduardo Paolozzi
Yeah, it is the Fourth of July but since America certainly doesn’t deserve a Birthday this year I thought I’d keep the pop art cumming, spewing, frothing at the mouth even though it’s a holiday on paper for Americans which many Nu Romantics are although I’d dare them to explain basic US law to me. Anyways, I mean, what’s life without routine? What’s an MJ post without digression and misdirection. So last week was lips, I’ll include some $th (stet) of July lips for shits and giggles. Then, I’ll get into the murky alligator infested waters of Week Three featuring Eduardo Paolozzo (because why not feature a Brit who was born in Scotland of Italian parents on American Blow-Your-Fingers-Off-Your-Hand and Believe-some-BS-stories-about-Flagmaking Day).
🛶

Now personally, I find these Eduardo Paolozzi pieces eerily prophetic about the mess we are in right now in 2017 kind of at a halfway purgatory between cave paintings and technology. I mean, we have iPhones and NASA yet most people use their phones to read fake news and get their fifteen minutes of fame cut into 7 second bites they accrue daily and poor NASA just this week had to debunk an Alien Child Slave Colony on Mars. So, the more we’ve progressed, the more we are grunting and stenciling our names into the rock while not able to decipher shadow from corporeal reality.
🍱

Check out the artwork below and answer the three questions, if you feel daring, sexy, and a little lonely on the side:
🏟️
  1. What do these pop art pieces speak to? Did Eduardo predict the world being owned and controlled by Amazon and other algorithms? Did he foresee our inability to discern truth from bullshit? As you know, the motto of 2017 is “Bullshit is Truth, Truth Bullshit”
  2. Do you like the art? What does it remind you of?
  3. Are these pieces romantic? sarcastic? or something else?
  4. Do you believe there’s a Child Slave Colony on Mars
🤣
PERSONAL SIDE NOTE: I get a kick out of indie authors bitching that Amazon didn’t approve a cover or something as if Amazon is a bunch of old ladies knitting around a campfire. The indie authors invariably get angry that “amazon didn’t even respond.” Like in the artwork of Paolozzi, the whole machine is run by algorithms and computers and patterns and patterns and patterns. If you ask me, wrestling with an algorithm is an exercise in futility.
☢️
FUN FACT: Like many Italians in English-speaking countries during WWII, Paolozzi was held at an internment camp.
↘️
Artwork Credit:
Each piece is by Eduardo Paolozzi except the lips (unknown artist)
 
#PopArt #SnapCrackleArtbyMJ #smutpunk | Week No. 3 – Snap, Crackle, Art
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See more Pop Art from my Pinterest

 


America doesn’t deserve a Birthday Party this Year…

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…but we can still enjoy some sexy photos instead of celebrating a functioning democracy.

 

The red, white, and blue have, instead of democracy, a nasty imperial force that causes proxy wars all over the globe with an umprecedictable nut figurehead at the helm. Yep, no birthday party this year.

The Missive in History and Historical Fiction by Bianca M. Schwarz | Guest Post

The Missive in History and Historical Fiction by Bianca M. Schwarz | Guest Post

 

Introduction by MJ:

After reading A Thing of Beauty by Bianca, I thought to myself how many letters Sir Henry had written and thought that was one of the best touches of the book. I thought who better to ask than Bianca herself to write a little bit about their usage in the novel and in historical fiction in general. Read her post below to learn more about letters in history. Enjoy this awesome guest post from a knowledgeable writer. 

 

As far back as the ancient Egyptians, the missive, and its grown up brother, the letter, have been the primary form of non verbal communication to those lucky enough to be able to read and write. Even the uneducated sent missives with the help of the town scribe, a man revered for his knowledge and integrity. The missive could be used to invite ones mother in law for dinner, conduct ones business, and to maintain a scientific and/or philosophical discourse between intellectuals. Written messages relayed military orders, and even the communication of state secrets was done through letters. Friendships, even love affairs, were built and maintained via written correspondence, and some famous letters have even been compiled into books. The very fabric of society relied on the missive.

The 18th and 19th Century are considered the heyday of the letter. Not only had literacy increased dramatically with the wide availability of books and newspapers following the invention of the printing press, but by then there were established mail carriers on roads and shipping lanes,  ensuring prompt and safe delivery. In short, the missive, or letter, was the established form of communication between two parties separated by physical distance before the invention of the telegraph.

It follows, that letters and missives feature prominently in historical fiction. My character, Henry, uses letters to communicate with the stewards of his four estates, and his daughter who lives with his cousins family. He is also no stranger to the importance of secrecy, as it pertains to government communications. He was instrumental in creating a safe letter delivery system from London to high command on the Peninsula during the Napoleonic Wars. Correspondence is of great importance to him, since it is the only way for him to stay in control of his affairs. He spends a considerable amount of time on tending his personal and professional relationships via the letters he writes, and the brief notes he pens, communicate his needs and wants to his associates.

The writing and receiving of letters was also governed by rules of curtsy. If you received a letter from someone socially placed above yourself, it was considered extremely rude not to acknowledge the receipt of the missive by penning an answer. In my story, The Pearl, in the anthology Déjà You, when Aunt Milly doesn’t receive an answer to the letters she wrote to her young estranged relative, she grows suspicious and sends her nephew to investigate. In my upcoming novel, She Walks In Beauty, a part of the mystery is unraveled thanks to the unlikely tone of a missive and the post mark on it.

As a writer, I often use surviving letters written during the time my stories are set as inspiration and source material. These missives are now historical documents, providing a rare glimpse into how people actually spoke and lived at the time. But perhaps the most valuable thing you can glimpse from these letters, are the attitudes of the authors. The conflict in most of my stories arises from the gap between my characters needs and wants, and the societal restrictions placed upon them.

Today we have the telephone, text messages, and emails. But in essence it is all communication; the only real difference between a letter and an email is the speed and manner of its delivery.

Excerpt – Smutpunk on Skates (Four Book Asian Erotica Bundle) | #wahlao #AsianSmutpunk

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Excerpt – Smutpunk on Skates (Four Book Asian Erotica Bundle)

by Emme Hor

 

That fucker held her hips and pumped away, while the big, black butt plug gripped her tight anal walls and massaged the underbelly of his thick, white shaft until he was on the brink of cumming. He pulled his massive mushroom-headed club out of her cute quivering cunt, brought her leg toward him, kissed her juicy calf in cruel juxtaposition of abuse and love that sent her heart fluttering. He pushed her roller-skated-foot to his dick. He rubbed his cock on the wheels and moaned.

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Click the Book to Read

“You’re sick,” Heather said as he let her skates jerk him off. Her plump pussy lips were gaping, begging for his cock to come back.

“I know,” he said. “And you fucking love every minute of it. Look at your fat cunt lips flapping in the wind desperately, whore!”

He pulled on her cunt lips roughly and let them smack back into her pubic bone with a pop. Heather felt like she’d been smacked with a glove.

When that delicious fucker pushed his victorious dick back into her throbbing pussy, it was utter nirvana for her. Heather saw the Sun dim. She saw stars shoot. She felt like the sexiest roller-skater in the universe. There was that nasty feeling of being an utter slut mixed with the guilty pleasure of fucking an ex. A fantastic orgasm shuttered down her spine and through her lips. Her voice came back and she screamed her own name, “Heather!” as if she was reprimanding herself for being such a dirty little butt-plugged tramp. She pulled his dick deeper with her Kegel muscles and by lifting her hips.

That fucker couldn’t take anymore. It was like fucking quicksand. Her muscles held him so tight, he felt like his dick would rip off from the root. He stepped back and his cock popped out of her cunt. He stood over her and hosed down her face with his cum. She lapped up some of it, savoring the taste of his superior cum on her tongue as he collapsed onto the log on his back. Most of his cum dripped from her flushed cheeks, sexy chin, and full lips.

“You know, I thought you owned me, but look at you,” Heather said and then flipped herself up onto her skates adroitly, leaned down and kissed him victoriously on the lips. Now she was looking down at him, her long hair cascading down onto his chest, with sunrays exploding geometrically like a kaleidoscopic halo around her head. She was gorgeous and she knew it. She kissed him, the cum transferred from her cum stained lips to his. She wiggled her head and smeared his cum all over his face triumphantly.

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Read the whole thing at geni.us/SmutpunkSkates

Some slang from the book:

Buaya – Definition 1 | Definition 2 | Definition up your ass!

Lah – see image

Wahlao – Video Definition

How to Convince Your Girlfriend/Wife/Other to take a Facial #SexTips #LPRTG

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 Another Installment from the Instructional Series

“The Facial” (aka How to Convince Your Girlfriend/Wife/Other to take a Facial)

The Wonderful Climax that lands on a Face

Stocks can be quite persuasive!

Stocks can be quite persuasive!

Giving your girlfriend/wife/one-night-stand-whore a facial is a very important and complex ritual that any true man must master. Every couple goes through this same routine: The guy isn’t happy until the girlfriend routinely takes his nut every morning, or evening, or whatever hour they agree upon, but many men let their girlfriends dictate. This is, of course, a big mistake. Some people go through all kinds of trouble to make their loved one, slave, or sex toy take nut-butter (see images). This is a waste of time and energy and it really shouldn’t be. Your efforts are needed elsewhere and a facial is your privileged that you should be tapping into. It really shouldn’t be too terribly long before your cum is hitting her nose and eyes if you follow some simple steps, such as coercing her with lore of moisturized skin, tempting her to conform with the regularity of which it’s done in all the popular porn movies, telling her she’ll be your princess, and if necessary (or if you just want) by telling her that you love her dearly.

The first thing is to remind her that choad is in fact very good for her skin and that she’s already putting it on her face after every shower when she uses all those haute couture products that she uses. Haute Couture cum is great! The next thing to remind her is that all the porn girls do it. You can easily show her a blowjob and cumshot compilation videos in abundance at slutload.com, or youjizz.com, or stupidwhoreseatmoctezumacum.com. She will probably enjoy watching the porn. If she doesn’t, you may have a lot of work to do convincing her and should probably consider buying some stocks (see images). If you do buy stocks, simply lock her in and go to work–end of story. After you come on her bound face, tell her what a dumb slut she is and photograph her and send to this blog. They love the humiliation; that will make her day. If none of these tips help, you’re going to have to ask her if she wants to be your princess. “Of course,” she’ll say and then you put a tiara on her head and jizz all over it and her hair and her face. Also, you probably need to tell her that you love her and be very gentle with her. She may not be ready for a facial for whatever reason. Don’t feel too shy to beg her to take your load. If begging gets her to kneel and be your cum target you should feel like a stud. Also, if she begrudgingly kneels and lets the semen splatter her then you must either photograph it for posterity–because it will be a long time till the next one, if there is ever a next one–or you should immediately call her a stupid cum dump just to see the horror on her face.

Part of the Instructional Series by Moctezuma Johnson

Remember that no slut, err girl, is born ready to take a facial but they are all willing to learn to love it. The onus is on you, dudes. You have to work her into becoming your personal cumpig little by little. That said, you can surely convince her and feel like a real man. Girls will do all kinds of kinky shit for the man they love. Don’t worry. Remember the death of the Alpha Man in modern society is leading to his resurgence.

Post your experiences below and ask me if there’s any other how-to that you need. Happy cum-shooting!

Epilogue:
Why is the facial so important?
Marking your lover with your seed is quite empowering for a number of reasons. Tantamount is that the visual side of sex is really important to men (as Callie Press says in Give Great Head). Seeing the cum on my girl’s face turns me on. Also, knowing that there’s no chance of pregnancy and the session is focused on pleasure and nothing more is hot. It gives a nasty feel to the encounter. And, as George Clinton says, “All that is good is nasty!”

Book Review: A Thing of Beauty by Bianca M. Schwarz

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A Thing of Beauty: The Sir Henry March Mysteries (Volume 1) by Bianca M. Schwarz

Book Review by Moctezuma Johnson

I had never read a historical romance before and found it to be a daunting task. It took me a while to get accustomed to the pacing of the novel but luckily Bianca can really write well. The grammar is sound and the writing is highly polished. Little by little she pulled me into her world. The book starts off somewhere in England before the invention of the telegraph and slowly builds around a rich gent and a pretty woman he finds beaten at the curb. The tone is way more suited to literature than genre fiction, at least in the beginning. The tone is slow and meaningful, not the fast paced superficial prose of much contemporary Erotica. Bianca has done her homework and has the sound of the English spoken in that time period with detail paid to the different accents of the different classes. The first half of the book follows as a period piece giving you the feel of the day with a love story of Henry and Eliza. The second half has a plot about an old enemy that they try to catch in the act of torturing young girls. One demerit for me was the attitude of the novel toward which sexual deviances are acceptable and which are evil wasn’t made clear to me. It was assumed the reader would consider some men good and others bad, but I am not so easily convinced. I wished there was more discussion on the subject.

Also worth thinking about and discussing is the style of prose. It’s slow and languid. My guess is that fans of historical fiction will really enjoy the attention to detail and appreciate that Bianca took the time to install a thorough plot. Personally I wish the plot came into prevalence a bit earlier but do applaud the overall structure. Admittedly I don’t usually read historical romance fiction, so i suspect this probably means this was built smarter than I’ve even realized. Overall, The dialogue was quite well done even though Henry didn’t always speak like a man. Still, the dialogue was true to its time with a smattering of old words like phaeton, serviette, and curricle. The ending was really well done. I don’t usually like when plots are neatly tied up but in this case it was like a 1000 piece puzzle had slipped into place. Pretty cool.


Dick Rating:
 I can’t really give it too many dicks up because I’m not sure it’s even erotica. It’s a historical romance with an erotic element between two characters and some sexual deviations used to create villains not sexual satisfaction for the reader. I guess I’d give it one dick of two dicks up.

Literary Value: A Tale of Two Titties and Some Dicks out of a Tale of Two Cities.

Overall Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars. The story is well worth reading!

 

 

Learn More about Bianca | Book Review: A Thing of Beauty by Bianca M. Schwarz | Find other Reviews by MJ | Learn More about MJ

the Big Tit Looms

the Big Tit Looms 

the big tit looms
like an avalanche
about to stop the galaxy
from drinking coffee
late each night
under buzzing neon signs
that sprinkle the street
like sprinkles on ice cream
like Montgomery Bumps
on the big areola

the big tit looms
once tasted
like a mothership
if one of its dicks go astray
the big tit zaps
a sizzling jealousy laser
at other big tits

Cum Bucket Poem #LPRTG #DirtyPoem

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cumpig-whoreCum Bucket Poem

by Moctezuma Johnson

 

this is my slut
dressed a moment ago in floral skirt
blouse with push up bra
bouncing her titties as she walked
expertly in her high-heels
now she’s my slut
butt-naked on the floor
kneeling
she’s a filthy cum bucket pig
with a big fat ass
who takes my big cock
relishes the girth
gags and chokes.
the slut fucks for boots,
blouses, and credit card help
the slut’s fat thighs jiggle
when you slap them
the slut’s eyes go wide
when cock chokes her
the slut purrs when she gets passed around