Smutpunk is its own language
You may have seen that I’m publishing more books and sex tips in Spanish. I speak Spanish poorly, but I do speak, so that’s been an advantage as I can work with my translators to find phrasings and styles that I like. What other languages would you like to see smuptunk translated into?
Please Take a Moment and Answer a few of these Book Club Questions regarding Sarchasmo V. Mr. Whiteprick:
- Is the bleak outlook on Indie Writers accurate?
- Is Sarchasmo too mean to Whiteprick?
- Not that there is anyone in real life as ridiculous as this “Whiteprick” character, but let’s suspend disbelief and assume he is real, do you know who Mr. Whiteprick is in real life?
- Does Whiteprick get what he deserves? Why or why not?
- Do you know who the Obsessive Cherry Blossom is?
- What’s your biggest pet peeve in indie publishing?
- Now that you know that Sarchasmo is for hire, would you like to employ him to take on your major issues?
(please answer below — discuss)
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I mean, Cocktail Flavored Dicksickles
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While you’re here, check out Moctezuma’s New Releases
Review of R.B. O’Brien’s Thorne: Rose’s Dark Contract
Review by Moctezuma Johnson
Where to start with this emo-tornado of a book. I felt like I was again dating a twenty-year old. In fact, it felt like dating a few at once. Thorne’s Dark Cuntract, as I have nicknamed R.B.’s book affectionately, is an absolute whirlwind of heavy and dark emotion penned by the slightly mad R.B. O’Brien (not to be confused with any B.R. Yo’Lyin or B.A. Ro’lyin from my books. Any similarities are purely coincidental). The plot is bizarre. On one hand it’s a dark romantic tale about a young women falling for an older man in a suit. She agrees to be enslaved by him as a secretary-whore, a great job title by the way (seeking applicants. Inquire within. Apply online.) Simultaneously, it’s a plot about a man with a past that threatens to reignite and burn him up in an inglorious blaze. These two disparate elements combine. They combust.
For me Rose is a pretty well thought out character. I’m on the fence with Thorne. At times, he seemed to wishy washy to bathe himself successfully let alone run a company threatening the livelihoods of the fat cats from the tobacco industry. Then I remembered that I’m a twelve year old at heart and I function (kind of), so I’m not sure what to make of the dude.
The book features a pretty close character study of young Victoria Rose. The emotions swing from west to north and then some directions that even Cthulhu himself probably couldn’t name. R.B. knows how to write. Her students are lucky to have her as a professor. R.B. also writes characters who are an emotional mess. Her students might be lucky to have her but her boyfriends are in for a heap of crazy. As James Brown says, “I don’t know karate but I do know crazy.” If I ever dated R.B. I think all the volcanoes on Planet Earth would erupt as the tumultuous crazy encircled and enlaced the planet. Thorne is filled with push, pull, deny, encourage, deny, push, pull, tease, withhold, give in, deny in an endless barrage of tantric sexual repression that made me crazy. I kept yelling at the book, “Alright, just assfuck the bitch already!” sincerely hoping Rose would grow a futanari pair, bend the dude in suit over his own desk, and drive into him with all her futanari cock mayhem, but that’s not the kind of book this is, sadly (for me). It’s more the ‘classic’ romance you’d find next to the fake flowers in a suburban ‘super’-market with some hunky, light-skinned Latino on the cover pretending to be a white man. R.B. has studied her audience well and gives romance readers what they want. Rose is very conscious of wearing nice clothes on the outside while wearing the sexy clothes that Mr. William Thorne has made her wear. She’s under his control. She’s painfully self-conscious of every move like an adolescent and this is precisely what’s so captivating about the prose. It’s a very complex push-pull of emotions. R.B. writes a character who sums up the adolescent female mind trapped in all of us adults.
If you’re a fan of romance or erotica this is a good book for you. Smutpunks may like it if they can stand the emotional turbulence without the madcap mayhem that they are used to. The story here is someone banal but the way in which it is told and the character study is extraordinary. Literally. All in all, I give it a dick and a half up.
Dick Rating: A Dick and a Half Up out of Two Dicks (a little too vanilla for me, babes)
Literary Value: William Skankespeare out of William Shakespeare
Overall Score: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Upcumming Reviews (Check Back Soon!)
Thing of Beauty by Bianca Schwarz (cumming soon)
Rigger by Mystk Knight (cumming soon)
Kella Z Driel’s Bunker 69 (cumming soon)
Linzi Basset’s Book of Poems (cumming soon)
New Tabbed Smutpunk Bookshelf
All the madcap cyberpunk, splatterpunk, genre-blending, gender-bending S. Punk you’ve come to expect from MJ, aka King SMUTPUNK
Click the tabs to see what books lie in that category. Start with Futanari and work your way all the way to Sci-Fi.
- Sarchasmo (Erotic Pulp)
- Alpha Male Spoof / Asian Erotica
- Steak and BJ
- Erotic Poems
- Non-Fiction (Sex Tips)
- Choose Your Own Kink SEXcapade
- T. Ronald Dump (Political Satire)
- Big Beautiful Woman by Red Pesca
- Smutpunk on Skates by Emme Hor
- Triangulum Stain / Sci-Fi
Futa Dicksickle Stand (Cumming May 29th) — Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!
Chronicles of a Humiliation Backfired (Season Two) — Cumming Soon — Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!
Smutpunk Poetry (coming soon) Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!
The Black Book (coming soon) Join the Mailing List to Get Notifications of Release Dates and Sales/Freebies!
A story all about YOU in which YOU make all the decisions!
The TriStain Universe Episodes:
Pop & Lollie (Teabagged by the Sentient Lollipop aka the Candy Cunt Saga)
Am I missing something? Let me know. Please share this ever-updating bookshelf with your followers, too. Thank you.
Guest Post by Bella Shadows
I would like all you smutpunk muhfuckas to welcome the juicy and sexy Bella Shadows to the blog. She’s going to teach you how to go and fuck yourself. Smutpunk: Seriously? Yep. And you’d best listen and learn well because there’s going to be a test later. Your life just may depend on it, okay? She’s got the skills to teach and rumor has it that you ain’t doin’ it right, so you’d better put that thinking cap on your head. The other head, you naughty little pig. Rimmies, MJ